hard cash- 第83部分

There　are　certain　formulae　in　these　quiet　retreats；　which　naturally　impose　upon　greenhorns　such　as　Alfred　certainly　was；　and　some　visiting　justices　and　lunacy　commissioners　would　seem　to　be。　Baker　had　been　a　lodging…house　keeper　for　certified　people　many　years；　and　knew　all　the　formulae：　some　call　them　dodges：　but　these　must　surely　be　vulgar　minds。　Baker　worked　〃the　see…saw　formula。〃

〃Letters；　young　gentleman？〃　said　he：　〃they　are　not　in　my　department　They　go　into　the　surgery；　and　are　passed　by　the　doctor；　except　those　he　examines　and　orders　to　be　detained。〃

Alfred　demanded　the　doctor。

〃He　is　gone；〃　was　the　reply。　（Formula。）

Alfred　found　it　as　hard　to　be　calm　as　some　people　find　it　easy　to　say　that　word　over　the　wrongs　_of　others。_

The　next　day；　but　not　till　the　afternoon；　he　caught　the　doctor：　〃My　letters！　Surely；　sir；　you　have　not　been　so　cruel　as　to　intercept　them？〃

〃I　intercept　no　letters；〃　said　the　doctor；　as　if　scandalised　at　the　very　idea。　〃I　see　who　writes　them；　and　hand　them　to　Mr。　Baker；　with　now　and　then　a　remark。　If　any　are　detained；　the　responsibility　rests　with　him。〃

〃He　says　it　rests　with　you。〃

〃You　must　have　misunderstood　him。〃

〃Not　at　all；　sir。　One　thing　is　clear；　my　letters　have　been　stolen　either　by　him　or　you；　and　I　will　know　which。〃

The　doctor　parried　with　a　formula。

〃You　are　_excited；_　Mr。　Hardie。　Be　calm；　sir；　be　calm：　or　you　will　be　here　all　the　longer。〃

All　Alfred　obtained　by　this　interview　was　a　powerful　opiate。　The　head…keeper　brought　it　him　in　bed。　He　declined　to　take　it。　The　man　whistled；　and　the　room　filled　with　keepers。

〃Now；〃　said　Cooper；　〃down　with　it；　or　you'll　have　to　be　drenched　with　this　cowhorn。〃

〃You　had　better　take　it；　sir；〃　said　Brown；　〃the　doctor　has　ordered　it　you。〃

〃The　doctor？　Well；　let　me　see　the　doctor　about　it。〃

〃He　is　gone。〃

〃He　never　ordered　it　me；〃　said　Alfred。　Then　fixing　his　eyes　sternly　on　Cooper；　〃You　miscreants；　you　want　to　poison　me。　No；　I　will　not　take　it。　Murder！　murder！〃

Then　ensued　a　struggle；　on　which　I　draw　a　veil：　but　numbers　won　the　day；　with　the　help　of　handcuffs　and　a　cowhorn。

Brown　went　and　told　Mrs。　Archbold；　and　what　Alfred　had　said。

〃Don't　be　alarmed；〃　said　that　strong…minded　lady：　〃it　is　only　one　of　the　old　fool's　composing　draughts。　It　will　spoil　the　poor　boy's　sleep　for　one　night；　that　is　all。　Go　to　him　the　first　thing　in　the　morning。〃

About　midnight　Alfred　was　seized　with　a　violent　headache　and　fever：　towards　morning　he　was　light…headed；　and　Brown　found　him　loud　and　incoherent：　only　he　returned　often　to　an　expression　Mr。　Brown　had　never　heard　before

〃Justifiable　parricide。　Justifiable　parricide。　Justifiable　patricide。〃

Most　people　dislike　new　phrases。　Brown　ran　to　consult　Mrs。　Archbold　about　this　one。　After　the　delay　inseparable　from　her　sex；　she　came　in　a　morning　wrapper；　and　they　found　Alfred　leaning　over　the　bed　and　bleeding　violently　at　the　nose。　They　were　a　good　deal　alarmed；　and　tried　to　stop　it：　but　Alfred　was　quite　sensible　now；　and　told　them　it　was　doing　him　good。

〃I　can　manage　to　see　now；〃　he　said；　〃a　little　while　ago　I　was　blind　with　the　poison。〃

They　unstrapped　his　ankle　and　made　him　comfortable；　and　Mrs。　Archbold　sent　Brown　for　a　cup　of　strong　coffee　and　a　glass　of　brandy。　He　tossed　them　off；　and　soon　after　fell　into　a　deep　sleep　that　lasted　till　tea…time。　This　sleep　the　poor　doctor　ascribed　to　the　sedative　effect　of　his　opiate。　It　_was_　the　natural　exhaustion　consequent　on　the　morbid　excitement　caused　by　his　cursed　opiate。

〃Brown；〃　said　Mrs。　Archbold；　〃if　Dr。　Bailey　prescribes　again；　let　me　know。　He　shan't　square　_this_　patient　with　his　certificates；　whilst　I　am　here。〃

This　was　a　shrewd；　but　uncharitable；　speech　of　hers。　Dr。　Bailey　was　not　such　a　villain　as　that。

He　was　a　less　depraved；　and　more　dangerous　animal：　he　was　a　fool。

The　farrago　he　had　administered　would　have　done　an　excited　maniac　no　good；　of　course；　but　no　great　harm。　It　was　dangerous　to　a　sane　man：　and　Alfred　to　the　naked　eye　was　a　sane　man。　But　then　Bailey　had　no　naked　eye　left：　he　had　been　twenty　years　an　M。　D。　The　certificates　of　Wycherley　and　Speers　were　the　green　spectacles　he　worevery　green　oneswhenever　he　looked　at　Alfred　Hardie。

Perhaps　in　time　he　will　forget　those　certificates；　and；　on　his　spectacles　dropping　off；　he　will　see　Alfred　is　sane。　If　he　does；　he　will　publish　him　as　one　of　his　most　remarkable　_cures。_

Meanwhile　the　whole　treatment　of　this　ill…starred　young　gentleman　gravitated　towards　insanity。　The　inner　mind　was　exasperated　by　barefaced　injustice　and　oppression；　above　all；　by　his　letters　being　stopped；　for　that　convinced　him　both　Baker　and　Bailey；　with　their　see…saw　evasions；　knew　he　was　sane；　and　dreaded　a　visit　from　honest；　understanding　men：　and　the　mind's　external　organ；　the　brain；　which　an　asylum　professes　to　soothe；　was　steadily　undermined　by　artificial　sleeplessness。　A　man　can't　sleep　in　irons　till　he　is　used　to　them　and；　when　Alfred　was　relieved　of　these；　his　sleep　was　still　driven　away　by　biting　insects　and　barking　dogs；　two　opiates　provided　in　many　of　these　placid　Retreats；　with　a　view　to　the　permanence　rather　than　the　comfort　of　the　lodgers。

On　the　eighth　day　Alfred　succeeded　at　last　in　an　object　he　had　steadily　pursued　for　some　time：　he　caught　the　two　see…saw　humbugs　together。

〃Now；〃　said　he；　_〃you_　say　_he_　intercepts　my　letters；　and　_he_　says　it　is　_you_　who　do　it。　Which　is　the　truth？〃

They　were　staggered；　and　he　followed　up　his　advantage：　〃Look　me　in　the　face；　gentlemen；〃　said　he。　〃Can　you　pretend　you　do　not　know　I　am　sane？　Ah；　you　turn　your　heads　away。　You　can　only　tell　this　bare…faced　lie　behind　my　back。　Do　you　believe　in　God；　and　in　a　judgment　to　come？　Then；　if　you　cannot　release　me；　at　least　don't　be　such　scoundrels　as　to　stop　my　letters；　and　so　swindle　me　out　of　a　fair　trial；　an　open；　public　trial。〃

The　doctor　parried　with　a　formula。　〃Publicity　would　be　the　greatest　misfortune　could　befall　you。　Pray　be　calm。〃

Now；　an　asylum　is　a　place　not　entirely　exempt　from　prejudices：　and　one　of　them　is；　that　any　sort　of　appeal　to　God　Almighty　is　a　sign　or　else　forerunner　of　maniacal　excitement。

These　philosophers　forget　that　by　stopping　letters；　evading　public　trials；　and；　in　a　word；　cutting　off　all　appeals　to　human　justice；　they　compel　the　patient　to　turn　his　despairing　eyes；　and　lift　his　despairing　voice　to　Him；　whose　eye　alone　can　ever　really　penetrate　these　dark　abodes。

However；　the　patient　who　appealed　to　God　above　a　whisper　in　Silverton　Grove　House　used　to　get　soothed　directly。　And　the　tranquillising　influences　employed　were　morphia；　croton　oil；　or　a　blister。

The　keeper　came　to　Alfred　in　his　room。　〃Doctor　has　ordered　a　blister。〃

〃What　for？　Send　for　him　directly。〃

〃He　is　gone。〃

This　way　of　ordering　torture；　and　then　coolly　going；　irritated　Alfred　beyond　endurance。　Though　he　knew　he　should　soon　be　powerless；　he　showed　fight；　made　his　mark　as　usual　on　a　couple　of　his　zealous　attendants；　but　not　having　room　to　work　in　was　soon　overpowered；　hobbled；　and　handcuffed：　then　they　cut　off　his　hair；　and　put　a　large　blister　on　the　top　of　his　head。


The　obstinate　brute　declined　to　go　mad。　They　began　to　respect　him　for　this　tenacity　of　purpose：　a　decent　bedroom　was　allotted　him；　his　portmanteau　and　bag　were　brought　him；　and　he　was　let　walk　every　day　on　the　lawn　with　a　keeper；　only　there　were　no　ladders　left　about；　and　the　trap…door　was　locked；　_i。e。_　the　iron　gate。

On　one　of　these　occasions　he　heard　the　gatekeeper　whistle　three　times　consecutively；　his　attendant　followed　suit；　and　hurried　Alfred　into　the　house；　which　soon　rang　with　treble　signals。

〃What　is　it？〃　inquired　Alfred。

〃The　visiting　justices　are　in　sight：　go　into　your　room；　please。〃

〃Yes；　I'll　go；〃　said　Alfred；　affecting　cheerful　compliance；　and　the　man　ran　off。

The　whole　house　was　in　a　furious　bustle。　All　the　hobbles；　and　chains；　and　instruments　of　restraint　were　hastily　collected　and　bundled　out　of　sight；　and　clean　sheets　were　being　put　on　many　a　filthy　bed　whose　occupant　had　never　slept　in　sheets　since　he　came　there；　when　two　justices　arrived　and　were　shown　into　the　drawing…room。

During　the　few　minutes　they　were　detained　there　by　Mrs。　Archbold；　who　was　mistress　of　her　whole　business；　quite　a　new　face　was　put　on　everything　and　everybody；　ancient　cobwebs　fell；　soap　and　water　explored　unwonted　territories：　the　harshest　attendants　began　practising　pleasant　looks　and　kind　words　on　the　patients；　to　get　into　the　way　of　it；　so　that　it　might　not　come　too　abrupt　and　startle　the　patients　visibly　under　the　visitors'　eyes：　something　like　actors　working　up　a　factitious　sentiment　at　the　wing　for　the　public　display；　or　like　a　racehorse's　preliminary　canter。　Alfred's　heart　beat　with　joy　inexpressible。　He　had　only　to　keep　calm；　and　this　was　his　last　day　at　Silverton　Grove。　The　first　thing　he　did　was　to　make　a　careful　toilet。

The　stinginess　of　relations；　and　the　greed　of　madhouse　proprietors；　make　many　a　patient　look　ten　times　madder　than　he　is；　by　means　of　dress。　Clothes　wear　out　in　an　asylum；　and　are　not　always　taken　off；　though　Agriculture　has　long　and　justly　claimed　them　for　her　own。　And　when　it　is　no　longer　possible　to　refuse　the　Reverend　Mad　Tom　or　Mrs。　Crazy　Jane　some　new　raiment；　then　consanguineous　munificence　does　not　go　to　Pool　or　Elise；　but　oftener　to　paternal　or　maternal　wardrobes；　and　even　to　the　ancestral　chest；　the　old　oak　one；　singing：

〃Poor　things；　they　are　out　of　the　world：　what　need　for　them　to　be　in　the　fashion！〃　（Formula。）

This　arrangement　keeps　the　bump　of　self…esteem　down；　especially　in　women；　and　so　co…operates　with　many　other　little　arrangements　to　perpetuate　the　lodger。

Silverton　Grove　in　particular　was　supplied　with　the　grotesque　in　dress　from　an　inexhaustible　source。　Whenever　money　was　sent　Baker　to　buy　a　patient　a　suit；　he　went　from　his　lunacy　shop　to　his　pawnbroker's；　dived　headlong　into　unredeemed　pledges；　dressed　his　patient　as　gentlemen　are　dressed　to　reside　in　cherry…trees；　and　pocketed　five　hundred　per　cent。　on　the　double　transaction。　Now　Alfred　had　already　observed　that　many　of　the　patients　looked　madder　than　they　werethanks　to　short　trousers　and　petticoats；　holey　gloves；　ear…cutting　shirt…collars；　frilled　bosoms；　shoes　made　for　and　dec