《burlesques》

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Boy; the Poet no more; was the work of a moment。



〃I might have prigged this box of figs;〃 the damsel said good…

naturedly; 〃and you'd never have turned round。〃



〃They came from the country of Hector;〃 the boy said。  〃Would you

have currants; lady?  These once bloomed in the island gardens of

the blue Aegean。  They are uncommon fine ones; and the figure is

low; they're fourpence…halfpenny a pound。  Would ye mayhap make

trial of our teas?  We do not advertise; as some folks do: but sell

as low as any other house。〃



〃You're precious young to have all these good things;〃 the girl

exclaimed; not unwilling; seemingly; to prolong the conversation。

〃If I was you; and stood behind the counter; I should be eating

figs the whole day long。〃



〃Time was;〃 answered the lad; 〃and not long since I thought so too。

I thought I never should be tired of figs。  But my old uncle bade

me take my fill; and now in sooth I am aweary of them。〃



〃I think you gentlemen are always so;〃 the coquette said。



〃Nay; say not so; fair stranger!〃 the youth replied; his face

kindling as he spoke; and his eagle eyes flashing fire。  〃Figs

pall; but oh! the Beautiful never does。  Figs rot; but oh! the

Truthful is eternal。  I was born; lady; to grapple with the Lofty

and the Ideal。  My soul yearns for the Visionary。  I stand behind

the counter; it is true; but I ponder here upon the deeds of

heroes; and muse over the thoughts of sages。  What is grocery for

one who has ambition?  What sweetness hath Muscovada to him who

hath tasted of Poesy?  The Ideal; lady; I often think; is the true

Real; and the Actual; but a visionary hallucination。  But pardon

me; with what may I serve thee?〃



〃I came only for sixpenn'orth of tea…dust;〃 the girl said; with a

faltering voice; 〃but oh; I should like to hear you speak on for

ever!〃



Only for sixpenn'orth of tea…dust?  Girl; thou camest for other

things!  Thou lovedst his voice?  Siren! what was the witchery of

thine own?  He deftly made up the packet; and placed it in the

little hand。  She paid for her small purchase; and with a farewell

glance of her lustrous eyes; she left him。  She passed slowly

through the portal; and in a moment was lost in the crowd。  It was

noon in Chepe。  And George de Barnwell was alone。





Vol。 II。





We have selected the following episodical chapter in preference to

anything relating to the mere story of George Barnwell; with which

most readers are familiar。



Up to this passage (extracted from the beginning of Vol。 II。) the

tale is briefly thus:



The rogue of a Millwood has come back every day to the grocer's

shop in Chepe; wanting some sugar; or some nutmeg; or some figs;

half a dozen times in the week。



She and George de Barnwell have vowed to each other an eternal

attachment。



This flame acts violently upon George。  His bosom swells with

ambition。  His genius breaks out prodigiously。  He talks about the

Good; the Beautiful; the Ideal; &c。; in and out of all season; and

is virtuous and eloquent almost beyond beliefin fact like

Devereux; or P。 Clifford; or E。 Aram; Esquires。



Inspired by Millwood and love; George robs the till; and mingles in

the world which he is destined to ornament。  He outdoes all the

dandies; all the wits; all the scholars; and all the voluptuaries

of the agean indefinite period of time between Queen Anne and

George II。dines with Curll at St。 John's Gate; pinks Colonel

Charteris in a duel behind Montague House; is initiated into the

intrigues of the Chevalier St。 George; whom he entertains at his

sumptuous pavilion at Hampstead; and likewise in disguise at the

shop in Cheapside。



His uncle; the owner of the shop; a surly curmudgeon with very

little taste for the True and Beautiful; has retired from business

to the pastoral village in Cambridgeshire from which the noble

Barnwells came。  George's cousin Annabel is; of course; consumed

with a secret passion for him。



Some trifling inaccuracies may be remarked in the ensuing brilliant

little chapter; but it must be remembered that the author wished to

present an age at a glance: and the dialogue is quite as fine and

correct as that in the 〃Last of the Barons;〃 or in 〃Eugene Aram;〃

or other works of our author; in which Sentiment and History; or

the True and Beautiful; are united。





CHAPTER XXIV。



BUTTON'S IN PALL MALL。





Those who frequent the dismal and enormous Mansions of Silence

which society has raised to Ennui in that Omphalos of town; Pall

Mall; and which; because they knock you down with their dulness;

are called Clubs no doubt; those who yawn from a bay…window in St。

James's Street; at a half…score of other dandies gaping from

another bay…window over the way; those who consult a dreary evening

paper for news; or satisfy themselves with the jokes of the

miserable Punch by way of wit; the men about town of the present

day; in a word; can have but little idea of London some six or

eight score years back。  Thou pudding…sided old dandy of St。

James's Street; with thy lacquered boots; thy dyed whiskers; and

thy suffocating waistband; what art thou to thy brilliant

predecessor in the same quarter?  The Brougham from which thou

descendest at the portal of the 〃Carlton〃 or the 〃Travellers';〃 is

like everybody else's; thy black coat has no more plaits; nor

buttons; nor fancy in it than thy neighbor's; thy hat was made on

the very block on which Lord Addlepate's was cast; who has just

entered the Club before thee。  You and he yawn together out of the

same omnibus…box every night; you fancy yourselves men of pleasure;

you fancy yourselves men of fashion; you fancy yourselves men of

taste; in fancy; in taste; in opinion; in philosophy; the newspaper

legislates for you; it is there you get your jokes and your

thoughts; and your facts and your wisdompoor Pall Mall dullards。

Stupid slaves of the press; on that ground which you at present

occupy; there were men of wit and pleasure and fashion; some five…

and…twenty lustres ago。



We are at Button'sthe well…known sign of the 〃Turk's Head。〃  The

crowd of periwigged heads at the windowsthe swearing chairmen

round the steps (the blazoned and coronalled panels of whose

vehicles denote the lofty rank of their owners);the throng of

embroidered beaux entering or departing; and rendering the air

fragrant with the odors of pulvillio and pomander; proclaim the

celebrated resort of London's Wit and Fashion。  It is the corner of

Regent Street。  Carlton House has not yet been taken down。



A stately gentleman in crimson velvet and gold is sipping chocolate

at one of the tables; in earnest converse with a friend whose suit

is likewise embroidered; but stained by time; or wine mayhap; or

wear。  A little deformed gentleman in iron…gray is reading the

Morning Chronicle newspaper by the fire; while a divine; with a

broad brogue and a shovel hat and cassock; is talking freely with a

gentleman; whose star and ribbon; as well as the unmistakable

beauty of his Phidian countenance; proclaims him to be a member of

Britain's aristocracy。



Two ragged youths; the one tall; gaunt; clumsy and scrofulous; the

other with a wild; careless; beautiful look; evidently indicating

Race; are gazing in at the window; not merely at the crowd in the

celebrated Club; but at Timothy the waiter; who is removing a plate

of that exquisite dish; the muffin (then newly invented); at the

desire of some of the revellers within。



〃I would; Sam;〃 said the wild youth to his companion; 〃that I had

some of my mother Macclesfield's gold; to enable us to eat of those

cates and mingle with yon springalds and beaux。〃



〃To vaunt a knowledge of the stoical philosophy;〃 said the youth

addressed as Sam; 〃might elicit a smile of incredulity upon the

cheek of the parasite of pleasure; but there are moments in life

when History fortifies endurance: and past study renders present

deprivation more bearable。  If our pecuniary resources be exiguous;

let our resolution; Dick; supply the deficiencies of Fortune。  The

muffin we desire to…day would little benefit us to…morrow。  Poor

and hungry as we are; are we less happy; Dick; than yon listless

voluptuary who banquets on the food which you covet?〃



And the two lads turned away up Waterloo Place; and past the

〃Parthenon〃 Club…house; and disappeared to take a meal of cow…heel

at a neighboring cook's shop。  Their names were Samuel Johnson and

Richard Savage。



Meanwhile the conversation at Button's was fast and brilliant。  〃By

Wood's thirteens; and the divvle go wid 'em;〃 cried the Church

dignitary in the cassock; 〃is it in blue and goold ye are this

morning; Sir Richard; when you ought to be in seebles?〃



〃Who's dead; Dean?〃 said the nobleman; the dean's companion。



〃Faix; mee Lard Bolingbroke; as sure as mee name's Jonathan Swift

and I'm not so sure of that neither; for who knows his father's

name?there's been a mighty cruel murther committed entirely。  A

child of Dick Steele's has been barbarously slain; dthrawn; and

quarthered; and it's Joe Addison yondther has done it。  Ye should

have killed one of your own; Joe; ye thief of the world。〃



〃I!〃 said the amazed and Right Honorable Joseph Addison; 〃I kill

Dick's child!  I was godfather to the last。〃



〃And promised a cup and never sent it;〃 Dick ejaculated。  Joseph

looked grave。



〃The child I mean is Sir Roger de Coverley; Knight and Baronet。

What made ye kill him; ye savage Mohock?  The whole town is in

tears about the good knight; all the ladies at Church this

afternoon were in mourning; all the booksellers are wild; and

Lintot says not a third of the copies of the Spectator are sold

since the death of the brave old gentleman。〃  And the Dean of St。

Patrick's pulled out the Spectator newspaper; containing the well…

known passage regarding Sir Roger's death。  〃I bought it but now in

'Wellington Stree
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