〃
〃That's the noon light；〃 David said。
〃No。 I don't think so；〃 she said。 〃It wasn't very nice and it was lovely when I stopped to watch the ship。 She didn't look big to have such a big name。〃
〃Please eat some of the steak；〃 David said。 〃You've eaten hardly anything。〃
〃I'm sorry；〃 she said。 〃It's good。 I like tournedos。〃
'Would you like something instead of the meat？〃
〃No。 I'll eat the salad。 Do you think we could have a bottle of the Perrier…Jouet？〃
〃Of course。〃
〃It was always such a nice wine；〃 she said。 〃And we were always so happy with it。〃
Afterward in their room Catherine said； 〃Don't worry； David； please。 It's just speeded up so much lately。〃
〃How？〃 he asked。 He was stroking her forehead。
〃I don't know。 All of a sudden I was old this morning and it wasn't even the right time of year。 Then the colors started to be false。 I worried and wanted to get you taken care of。〃
〃You take wonderful care of everybody。〃
〃I'm going to but I was so tired and there wasn't any time and I knew it would be so humiliating if the money ran out and you had to borrow and I hadn't fixed up anything nor signed any thing and just been sloppy the way I've been。 Then I worried about your dog。〃
〃My dog？〃
〃Yes your dog in Africa in the story。 I went in the room to see if you needed anything and I read the story。 While you and Marita were talking in the other room。 I didn't listen。 You left your keys in the shorts you changed from。〃
〃It's about half through；〃 he told her。
〃It's wonderful；〃 she said。 〃But it frightens me。 The elephant was so strange and your father too。 I never liked him but I like the dog better than anyone except you David； and I'm so worried about him。〃
〃He was a wonderful dog。 You don't have to worry about him。〃
〃Can I read about what happened to him today in the story？〃
〃Sure； if you want to。 But he's at the shamba now and you don't need to worry about him。〃
〃If he's all right I won't read it until you get back to him。 Kibo。 He had a lovely name。〃
〃It's the name of a mountain。 The other part is Mawenzi。〃
〃You and Kibo。 I love you so much。 You were so much alike。〃
〃You're feeling better； Devil。〃
〃Probably；〃 Catherine said。 〃I hope so。 But it won't last。 Driving this morning I was so very happy and then suddenly I was old； so old I didn't care anymore。
〃You're not old。〃
〃Yes I am。 I'm older than my mother's old clothes and I won't outlive your dog。 Not even in a story。〃
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Chapter Twenty
DAvID HAD FINISHED writing and he was empty and hollow… feeling from having driven himself long past the point where he should have stopped。 He did not think it mattered that day because it was the exhaustion part of the story and so he had felt the tiredness as soon as they had picked up the trail again。 For a long time he had been fresher and in better shape than the two men and impatient with their slow trailing and the regular halts his father made each hour on the hour。 He could have moved ahead much faster than Juma and his father but when he started to tire they were the same as ever and at noon they took only the usual five minute rest and he had seen that Juma was increasing the pace a little。 Perhaps he wasn't。 Perhaps it had only seemed faster but the dung was fresher now although it was not warm yet to the touch。 Juma gave him the rifle to carry after they came on the last pile of dung but after an hour he looked at him and took it back。 They had been climbing steadily across a slope of the mountain but now the trail went down and from a gap in the forest he saw the broken country ahead。
〃Here's where the tough part starts； Davey；〃 his father said。
It was then he knew that he should have been sent back to the shamba once he had put them on the trail。 Juma had known it for a long time。 His father knew it now and there was nothing to be done。 It was another of his mistakes and there was nothing to do now except gamble。 David looked down at the big flattened circle of the print of the elephant foot and saw where the bracken had been pressed down and where a broken stem of a flowering weed was drying beyond the break。 Juma picked it up and looked at the sun。 Juma handed the broken weed to David's father and his father rolled it in his fingers。 David noticed the white flowers that were drooped and drying。 But they still had not dried in the sun nor shed their petals。
〃It's going to be a bitch；〃 his father said。 〃Let's get going。〃
Late in the afternoon they were still tracking through the broken country。 He had been sleepy now for a long time and as he watched the two men he knew that sleepiness was his real enemy and he followed their pace and tried to move through and out of the sleep that deadened him。 The two men relieved each other tracking on the hour and the one who was in second place looked back at him at regular intervals to check if he was with them。 When they made a dry camp at dark in the forest again he went to sleep as soon as he sat down and woke with Juma holding his moccasins and feeling his bare feet for blisters。 His father had spread his coat over him and was sitting by him with a piece of cold cooked meat and two biscuits。 He offered him a water bottle with cold tea。
〃He'll have to feed； Davey；〃 his father said。 〃Your feet are in good shape。 They're as sound as Juma's。 Eat this slowly and drink some tea and go to sleep again。 We haven't any problem。〃
〃I'm sorry I was so sleepy。〃
〃You and Kibo hunted and travelled all last night。 Why shouldn't you be sleepy？ You can have a little more meat if you want it。〃
〃I'm not hungry。〃
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〃Good。 We're good for three days。 We'll hit water again tomorrow。 Plenty of creeks come off the mountain。〃
〃Where's he going？〃
〃Juma thinks he knows。〃
〃Isn't it bad？〃
〃Not too bad； Davey。〃
〃I'm going back to sleep；〃 David had said。 〃I don't need your coat。〃
〃Juma and I are all right；〃 his father said。 〃I always sleep warm you know。〃
David was asleep even before his father said good night。 Then he woke once with the moonlight on his face and he thought of the elephant with his great ears moving as he stood in the forest； his head hung down with the weight of the tusks。 David thought then in the night that the hollow way he felt as he remembered him was from waking hungry。 But it was not and he found that out in the next three days。
In the story he had tried to make the elephant come alive again as he and Kibo had seen him in the night when the moon had risen。 Maybe I can； David thought； maybe I can。 But as he locked up the day's work and went out of the room and shut the door he told himself； No； you can't do it。 The elephant was old and if it had not been your father it would have been someone else。 There is nothing you can do except try to write it the way that it was。 So you must write each day better than you possibly can and use the sorrow that you have now to make you know how the early sorrow came。 And you must always remember the things you believed because if you know them they will be there in the writing and you won't betray them。 The writing is the only progress you make。
He went behind the bar and found the bottle of Haig and a cold half bottle of Perrier and made himself a drink and took it out in the big kitchen to find Madame。 He told her he was going into Cannes and would not be back for lunch。 She scolded
him about drinking whiskey on an empty stomach and he asked her what she had cold that he could put in the empty stomach with the whiskey。 She brought out some cold chicken and sliced it and put it on a plate and made an endive salad and he went into the bar and made another drink and came back to sit down at the kitchen table。
〃Don't drink that now before you eat； Monsieur；〃 Madame said。
〃It's good for me；〃 he told her。 〃We drank it at the mess like wine in the war。〃
〃It's a wonder you weren't all drunkards。〃
〃Like the French；〃 he said and they argued French working class drinking habits； on which they both agreed； and she teased him that his women had left him。 He said that he was tired of them both and wasn't she ready to take their place now？ No； she said； he would have to show more evidence he was a man before he roused a woman of the Midi。 He said he was going into Cannes where he could get a proper meal and would come back like a lion and let the women of the south take care。 They kissed affectionately with the kiss of the favoured client and the brave femme and then David went in to take a shower； to shave and to change。
The shower made him feel good and he was cheered up from talking to Madame。 I wonder what she would say if she knew what it was all about； he thought。 Things had changed since the war and both Monsieur and Madame had a sense of style and they wished to move with the change。 We three clients are all de gens tres bien。 So long as it pays and isn't violent there is nothing wrong with it。 The Russians are gone； the British are beginning to be poor； the Germans are ruined； and now there is this disregard of the established rules which can very well be the salvation of the whole coast。 We are pioneers in opening up the summer season which is still regarded as madness。 He looked at his face in the mirror with one side shaved。 Still； he said to
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himself； you don't need to be such a pioneer as not to shave the other side。 And then he noted with careful critical distaste the almost silvery whiteness of his hair。
He heard the Bugatti come up the long slope and turn onto the gravel and stop。
Catherine came into the room。 She had a scarf over her head and sunglasses on and she took them off and kissed David。 He held her close and said； 〃How are you？〃
〃Not so good；〃 she said。 〃It was too hot。〃 She smiled at him and put her forehead on his shoulder。 〃I'm glad I'm home。〃
He went out and made a Tom Collins and brought it in to Catherine who had finished a cold shower。 She took the tall cold glass and sipped from it and then held it against the smooth dark skin of her belly。 She touched the glass to the tips of each of her breasts so they came erect and then took a long sip and held the cold glass against her belly again。 〃This is wonderful；〃 she said。
He kissed her and she said； 〃Oh； that's nice。 I'd forgo