t and to reserve a wagon…lit。〃
David began reading the letter。
'What would you eat？〃 Madame said。 〃Some cold chicken and a salad？ An omelette to start。 There's lamb too if Monsieur would rather。 What would he like； Madame？〃
Marita and Madame Aurol were talking together and David finished reading the letter。 He put it in his pocket and looked at Madame Aurol。 〃Did she seem herself when she left？〃
〃Perhaps not； Monsieur。〃
〃She'll be back；〃 David said。
〃Yes； Monsieur。〃
〃We will take good care of her。〃
〃Yes； Monsieur。〃 She began to cry a little as she turned the omelette and David put his arm around her and kissed her。 〃Go and talk to Madame；〃 she said； 〃and let me set the table。 Aurol and the boy are at Napoule； mixing belote and politics。〃
〃I'll set it；〃 Marita said。 〃Open the wine； David； please。 Don't you think we should have a bottle of the Lanson？〃
He closed the door of the ice chest and holding the cold bottle untwisted the seal and loosened the wire and then carefully moved the cork between his thumb and first finger feeling the pinch of metal cap against his thumb and the long cold rounded promise of the bottle。 He brought the cork out gently and poured three glasses full。 Madame stood back from the stove with her glass and they all raised their glasses。 David did not know what to drink to so he said the first words that came which were； 〃A nous et a la liberte。〃
They all drank and then Madame served the omelette and they all drank again without making a toast。
〃Eat； David； please；〃 Marita said。
〃All right；〃 he said and drank some of the wine and ate some of the omelette slowly。
〃Just eat a little；〃 Marita said。 〃It will be good for you。〃
Madame looked at Marita and shook her head。 〃Nothing is helped by your not eating；〃 Madame told him。
〃Sure；〃 said David and ate slowly and carefully and drank the champagne that was born new each time he poured a glass。
〃Where did she leave the car？〃 he asked。
〃At the station；〃 Madame said。 〃The boy rode down with her。 He brought back the key。 It's in your room。
'Was the wagon…lit crowded？〃
〃No。 He put her aboard。 There were very few passengers。 She will have a place。〃
〃It's not a bad train；〃 David said。
〃Eat some chicken；〃 Madame said； 〃and drink some more wine。 Op en another bottle。 Your women are thirsty too。〃
〃I'm not thirsty；〃 Marita said。
〃Yes； you are；〃 Madame said。 〃Drink up now and take a bottle with you。 I know this one。 It's good for him to drink good wine。〃
〃I don't want to drink too much； chbie；〃 David said to Madame。 〃Because tomorrow is a bad day and I'd rather not feel bad too。〃
〃You won't。 I know you。 Just eat now to please me。
She excused herself in a few minutes and was gone for a quarter of an hour。 David ate all of his chicken and the salad finally and after she had come back they all had a glass of wine together and then David and Marita said good night to Madame who was very formal now and went out onto the terrace and looked at the night。 They were both in a hurry and David was carrying the opened bottle of wine in an ice bucket。 He put it down on the stove and took Marita in his arms and kissed her。 They held each other close and said nothing and then David picked up the bucket and they walked to Marita's room。
Her bed had been made up now for two people and David put the ice bucket down on the floor and said； 〃Madame。〃
〃Yes；〃 Marita said。 〃Naturally。〃
They lay together with the night clear and cool outside and the small breeze from the sea and Marita said； 〃I love you； David； and it's so sure now。
Sure； David thought。 Sure。 Nothing is sure。
〃All the time before now；〃 Marita said； 〃before I could sleep all night with you I've thought and thought you wouldn't like the sort of wife who couldn't sleep。〃
〃What sort of wife are you？〃
〃You'll see。 A happy one now。
Then he felt it was a long time before he went to sleep but really it was not and when he woke at the first gray light he saw Marita in the bed beside him and was happy until he remembered what had happened。 He was very careful not to wake her but when she stirred he kissed her before he stepped out of bed。 She smiled and said； 〃Good morning； David；〃 and he said； 〃Go back to sleep my dearest love。〃
She said； 〃All right；〃 and rolled over quickly like a small animal and； dark headed； lay curled up with her closed eyes away from the light and her long dark shiny eyelashes against the rose brown early morning color of her skin。 David looked at her and thought how beautiful she was and how he could see her spirit had not gone from her body when she slept。 She was lovely and her coloring and the unbelievable smoothness of her skin were almost Javanese； he thought。 He watched the coloring in her face deepen as the light grew stronger。 Then he shook his head and carrying his clothing on his left arm opened and closed the door and went out into the new morning； walking barefoot on the stones that were still wet with dew。
In his and Catherine's room he took a shower； shaved； found a fresh shirt and shorts and put them on； looked around the empty bedroom； the first morning he had ever been in it with Catherine not there； and then went out to the empty kitchen and found a tin of Maquereau Vin Blanc Capitaine Cook and opened it and took it； perilous with edge…level juice； with a cold bottle of the Tuborg beer out to the bar。
He opened the beer； took the bottle top between his right thumb and the first joint of his right forefinger and bent it in until it was flattened together； put it in his pocket since he saw no container to toss it into； raised the bottle that was still cold to his hand and now beaded wet in his fingers and； smelling the aroma from the opened tin of spiced and marinated mackerel； he took a long drink of the cold beer； set it down on the bar and
took an envelope from his hip pocket and unfolded Catherine's letter and commenced to reread it。
David； I knew very suddenly you must know how terrible it was。 Worse than hitting someone； a child is the worst I guess&mdash；with a car。 The thump on the fender or maybe just a small bump and then all the rest of it happening and the crowd gathering to scream。 The Frenchwoman screaming &rasseuse even if it was the child's fault。 I did it and I knew I did it and I can't undo it。 It's too awful to understand。 But it happened。
I'll cut this short。 I'll be back and we'll settle things the best we can。 Do not worry at all。 I'll wire and write and do all the things for my book so if you ever finish it only I will try to do this one thing。 I had to burn the other things。 The worst was being righteous about it but I don't have to tell you that。 I do not ask for forgiveness but please have good luck and I will do everything as well as I can。
Heiress has been good to you and me both and I don't hate her。
I won't end as I'd like to because it would sound too preposterous to believe but I will say it anyway since I was always rude and presumptuous and preposterous too lately as we both know。 I love you and I always will and I am sorry。 What a useless word。
Catherine
After he had finished it he read it through again。
He had never read any other letters from Catherine because from the time they had met at the Crillon bar in Paris until they were married at the American church at Avenue Hoche they had seen each other every day and； reading this first one now for the third time； he found that he still could be； and was； moved by her。
He put the letter back in his hip pocket and ate a second small； plump； miniature mackerel in the aromatic white wine sauce and
。
finished the cold beer。 Then he went out to the kitchen for a piece of bread to sop up the liquid in the long tin and for a fresh bottle of beer。 He would try to work today and would almost certainly fail。 There had been too much emotion； too much damage； too much of everything and his changing of allegiance； no matter how sound it had seemed； no matter how it simplified things for him； was a grave and violent thing and this letter compounded the gravity and the violence。
All right Bourne； he thought as he began to drink the second beer； don't spend time thinking how bad things are because you know。 You have three choices。 Try to remember one that is gone and write it again。 Second； you can try a new one。 And third； write on the god damned narrative。 So sharpen up and take the best one。 You always gambled when you could bet on yourself。 Never bet on anything that can talk； your father said and you said； Except yourself。 And he said； Not me； Davey； but pile it on yourself sometime you iron…hearted little bastard。 He meant to say cold…hearted but he turned it kindly with his gently lying mouth。 Or maybe he meant it。 Don't con yourself on Tuborg beer。
So take the best one and write one new and good as you can。 And remember； Marita has been hit as badly as you。 Maybe worse。 So gamble。 She cares as much for what we lost as you do。
Chapter Twenty…nine
WHEN HE FINALLY gave up writing that day it was afternoon。 He had started a sentence as soon as he had gone into his working room and had completed it but he could write nothing after it。 He crossed it out and started another sentence and again came to the complete blankness。 He was unable to write the sentence that should follow although he knew it。 He wrote a first simple declarative sentence again and it was impossible for him to put down the next sentence on paper。 At the end of two hours it was the same。 He could not write more than a single sentence and the sentences themselves were increasingly simple and completely dull。 He kept at it for four hours before he knew that resolution was powerless against what had happened。 He admitted it with out accepting it； closed and put away the notebook with the rows of crossed out lines and went to find the girl。
She was on the terrace in the sun reading and when she looked up and saw his face she said； 〃No？〃
〃Worse than no。〃
〃Not at all？〃
〃Nope。〃
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。 。
〃Let's have a drink；〃 Marita said。
〃Good；〃 said David。
They were inside at the bar and the day had come in with them。 It was as good as the day before and perhaps better since summer should have been gone and each warm