hemingway, ernest - garden of eden- 第5部分

〃The　hell　with　it。〃

〃All　right。　The　hell　with　it。　But　we'll　spend　it　and　I　think　it's　wonderful。　You　can　write　afterwards。　That　way　we　can　have　the　fun　before　I　have　a　baby　for　one　thing。　How　do　I　know　when　I'll　have　a　baby　even？　Now　it's　all　getting　dull　and　dusty　talking　about　it。　Can't　we　just　do　it　and　not　talk　about　it？〃

〃What　if　I　want　to　write？　The　minute　you're　not　going　to　do　something　it　will　probably　make　you　want　to　do　it。〃

〃Then　write；　stupid。　You　didn't　say　you　wouldn't　write。　Nobody　said　anything　about　worrying　if　you　wrote。　Did　they？〃

But　somewhere　something　had　been　said　and　now　he　could　not　remember　it　because　he　had　been　thinking　ahead。

〃If　you　want　to　write　go　ahead　and　I'll　amuse　myself。　I　don't　have　to　leave　you　when　you　write　do　I？〃

〃But　where　would　you　like　us　to　go　now　when　people　begin　to　come　here？〃

〃Anywhere　you　want　to　go。　Will　you　do　it；　David？〃

〃For　how　long？〃

〃For　as　long　as　we　want。　Six　months。　Nine　months。　A　year。〃

〃All　right；〃　he　said。

〃Really？〃
〃Sure。
〃You're　awfully　good。　If　I　didn't　love　you　for　anything　else　I'd　love　you　for　decisions。〃
〃They're　easy　to　make　when　you　haven't　seen　how　too　many　of　them　can　turn　out。〃
He　drank　the　hero　drink　but　it　did　not　taste　so　good　and　he　ordered　a　fresh　bottle　of　cold　Perrier　and　made　a　short　drink　without　ice。
〃Make　me　one　please。　Short　like　yours。　And　then　let's　let　it　start　and　have　lunch。〃


Chapter　Three

THAT　NIGHT　IN　BED　when　they　were　still　awake　she　said　in　the　dark；　〃We　don't　always　have　to　do　the　devil　things　either。　Please　know　that。〃

〃I　know。〃

〃I　love　it　the　way　we　were　before　and　I'm　always　your　girl。　Don't　ever　be　lonely。　You　know　that。　I'm　how　you　want　but　I'm　how　I　want　too　and　it　isn't　as　though　it　wasn't　for　us　both。　You　don't　have　to　talk。　I'm　only　telling　a　story　to　put　you　to　sleep　because　you're　my　good　lovely　husband　and　my　brother　too。　I　love　you　and　when　we　go　to　Africa　I'll　be　your　African　girl　too。〃

〃Are　we　going　to　Africa？〃

〃Aren't　we？　Don't　you　remember？　That　was　what　it　was　about　today。　So　we　could　go　there　or　anywhere。　Isn't　that　where　we're　going？〃

〃Why　didn't　you　say　it？〃

〃I　didn't　want　to　interfere。　I　said　wherever　you　wanted。　I'd　go　anywhere。　But　I　thought　that　was　where　you　wanted。〃

〃It's　too　early　to　go　to　Africa　now。　It's　the　big　rains　and　after　wards　the　grass　is　too　high　and　it's　very　cold。〃
〃We　could　go　to　bed　and　keep　warm　and　hear　the　rain　on　a　tin　roof。〃
〃No；　it's　too　early。　The　roads　turn　to　mud　and　you　can't　get　around　and　everything　is　like　a　swamp　and　the　grass　gets　so　tall　you　cans　t　see。
〃Then　where　should　we　go？〃
〃We　can　go　to　Spain　but　Sevilla　is　over　and　so　is　San　Isidro　in　Madrid　and　it's　early　for　there　too。　It's　too　early　for　the　Basque　coast。　It's　still　cold　and　rainy。　It　rains　everywhere　there　now。〃
〃Isn't　there　a　hot　part　where　we　could　swim　the　way　we　do　here？〃
'You　can't　swim　in　Spain　the　way　we　do　here。　You'd　get　arrested。〃
〃What　a　bore。　Let's　wait　to　go　there　then　because　I　want　us　to　get　darker。〃
〃Why　do　you　want　to　be　so　dark？〃
〃I　don't　know。　Why　do　you　want　anything？　Right　now　it's　the　thing　that　I　want　most。　That　we　don't　have　I　mean。　Doesn't　it　make　you　excited　to　have　me　getting　so　dark？〃
〃Uh…huh。　I　love　it。
〃Did　you　think　I　could　ever　be　this　dark？〃
〃No；　because　you're　blond。〃
〃I　can　because　I'm　lion　color　and　they　can　go　dark。　But　I　want　every　part　of　me　dark　and　it's　getting　that　way　and　you'll　be　darker　than　an　Indian　and　that　takes　us　further　away　from　other　people。　You　see　why　it's　important。〃
〃What　will　we　be？〃
〃I　don't　know。　Maybe　we'll　just　be　us。　Only　changed。　That's　maybe　the　best　thing。　And　we　will　keep　on　won't　we？〃
〃Sure。　We　can　go　over　by　the　Est6rel　and　explore　and　find　another　place　the　way　we　found　this　one。
〃We　can　do　that。　There　are　lots　of　wild　places　and　nobody　is　there　in　the　summer。　We　could　get　a　car　and　then　we　could

go　everywhere。　Spain　too　when　we　want。　Once　we're　really　dark　it　won't　be　hard　to　keep　unless　we　had　to　live　in　towns。　We　don't　want　to　be　in　towns　in　the　summer。

〃How　dark　are　you　going　to　get？〃

〃As　dark　as　I　can。　We'll　have　to　see。　I　wish　I　had　some　Indian　blood。　I'm　going　to　be　so　dark　you　won't　be　able　to　stand　it。　I　can't　wait　to　go　up　on　the　beach　tomorrow。〃

She　went　to　sleep　that　way　with　her　head　back　and　her　chin　up　as　though　she　were　in　the　sun　on　the　beach；　breathing　softly；　and　then　she　curled　toward　him　on　her　side　and　the　young　man　lay　awake　and　thought　about　the　day。　It　is　very　possible　that　I　couldn't　get　started；　he　thought；　and　it　probably　is　sound　to　not　think　about　it　at　all　and　just　enjoy　what　we　have。　When　I　have　to　work　I　will。　Nothing　can　stop　that。　The　last　book　is　good　and　I　must　make　a　better　one　now。　This　nonsense　that　we　do　is　fun　although　I　don't　know　how　much　of　it　is　nonsense　and　how　much　is　serious。　Drinking　brandy　at　noon　is　no　damn　good　and　already　the　simple　aperitifs　mean　nothing。　That　is　not　a　good　sign。　She　changes　from　a　girl　into　a　boy　and　ba｛ck　to　a　girl　care　lessly　and　happily。　She　sleeps　easily　and　beautifully　and　you　will　sleep　too　because　all　you　truly　know　is　that　you　feel　good。　You　did　not　sell　anything　for　the　money；　he　thought。　Everything　she　said　about　the　money　was　true。　Actually　it　all　was　true。　Everything　was　free　for　a　time。

What　was　it　that　she　had　said　about　destruction？　He　could　not　remember　that。　She'd　said　it　but　he　could　not　remember　it。

Then　he　was　tired　of　trying　to　remember　and　he　looked　at　the　girl　and　kissed　her　cheek　very　lightly　and　she　did　not　wake。　He　loved　her　very　much　and　everything　about　her　and　he　went　to　sleep　thinking　about　her　cheek　against　his　lips　and　how　the　next　day　they　would　both　be　darker　from　the　sun　and　how　dark　can　she　become；　he　thought；　and　how　dark　will　she　ever　really　be？




Chapter　Four








IT　WAS　LATE　AFTERNOON　and　the　small　low　car　came　down　from　the　black　road　across　the　hills　and　headlands　with　the　dark　blue　ocean　always　on　the　right　onto　a　deserted　boulevard　that　bordered　a　flat　beach　of　two　miles　of　yellow　sand　at　Hendaye。　Well　ahead　on　the　ocean　side　was　the　bulk　of　a　big　hotel　and　a　casino　and　on　the　left　there　were　newly　planted　trees　and　Basque　villas　white　washed　and　brown　timbered　set　in　their　own　trees　and　plantings。　The　two　young　people　in　the　car　rode　down　the　boulevard　slowly　looking　out　at　the　magnificent　beach　and　at　the　mountains　of　Spain　that　showed　blue　in　this　light　as　the　car　passed　the　casino　and　the　big　hotel　and　went　on　toward　the　end　of　the　boulevard。　Ahead　was　the　mouth　of　the　river　that　flowed　into　the　ocean。　The　tide　was　out　and　across　the　bright　sand　they　saw　the　ancient　Spanish　town　and　the　green　hills　across　the　bay　and；　at　the　far　point；　the　lighthouse。　They　stopped　the　car。

〃It's　a　lovely　place；〃　the　girl　said。

〃There's　a　cafe　with　tables　under　the　trees；〃　the　young　man　said。　〃Old　trees。〃

〃The　trees　are　strange；〃　the　girl　said。　〃It's　all　new　planting。　I　wonder　why　they　planted　mimosas。

〃To　compete　with　where　we　'ye　come　from。〃

〃I　suppose　so。　It　all　looks　awfully　new。　But　it's　a　wonderful　beach。　I　never　saw　such　a　big　beach　in　France　nor　with　such　smooth　and　fine　sand。　Biarritz　is　a　horror。　Let's　drive　up　by　the　cafe。〃

They　drove　back　up　the　right　side　of　the　road。　The　young　man　pulled　the　car　to　the　curb　and　killed　the　iguition。　They　crossed　to　the　outdoor　cafe　and　it　was　pleasant　to　eat　by　them　selves　and　be　conscious　of　the　people　that　they　did　not　know　eating　at　the　other　tables。

That　night　the　wind　rose　and　in　their　corner　room　high　up　in　the　big　hotel　they　heard　the　heavy　fall　of　the　surf　on　the　beach。　In　the　dark　the　young　man　pulled　a　light　blanket　up　over　the　sheet　and　the　girl　said；　〃Aren't　you　glad　we　decided　to　stay？〃

〃I　like　to　hear　the　surf　pound。〃

〃So　do　I。〃

They　lay　close　together　and　listened　to　the　sea。　Her　head　was　on　his　chest　and　she　moved　it　against　his　chin　and　then　moved　up　in　the　bed　and　put　her　cheek　against　his　and　pressed　it　there。　She　kissed　him　and　he　could　feel　her　hand　touching　him。

〃That's　good；〃　she　said　in　the　darkness。　〃That's　lovely。　You're　sure　you　don't　want　me　to　change？〃

〃Not　now。　Now　I'm　cold。　Please　hold　me　warm。

〃I　love　you　when　you　feel　cold　against　me。

〃If　it　gets　this　cold　here　at　night　we'll　have　to　wear　pyjama　tops。　That　will　be　fun　for　breakfast　in　bed。〃

〃It's　the　Atlantic　ocean；〃　she　said。　〃Listen　to　it。〃

〃We'll　have　a　good　time　while　we're　here；〃　he　told　her。　〃If　you　want　we'll　stay　a　while。　If　you　want　we'll　go。　There　are　plenty　of　places　to　go。。

〃We　might　stay　a　few　days　and　see。〃

〃Good。　If　we　do　I'd　like　to　start　to　write。〃

〃That　would　be　wonderful。　We'll　look　around　tomorrow。　You　could　work　here　in　the　room　if　I　were　out　couldn't　you？　Until　we　found　some　place？〃

〃Sure。〃

〃You　know　you　must　never　worry　about　me　because　I　love　you　and　we're　us　against　all　the　others。　Please　kiss　me；〃　she　said。

He　kissed　her。

〃You　know　I　haven't　done　anything　bad　to　us。　I　had　to　do　it。　You　know　that。〃

He　did　not　say　anything　and　listened　to　the　weight　of　the　surf　falling　on　the　hard　wet　sand　in　the　night。


The　next　morning　there　was　still　heavy　surf　and　the　rain　came　in　gusts。　They　could　not　see　the　Spanish　coast　and　when　it　cleared　between　the　driven　squalls　of　rain　and　they　could　see　across　the　angry　sea　in　the　bay　there　were　heavy　clouds　that　came　down　to　the　base　of　the　mountains。　Catherine　had　gone　out　in　a　raincoat　after　breakfast　and　had　left　him　to　work　in　the　room。　It　had　gone　so　simply　and　easily　that　he　thought　it　was　probably　worthless。　Be　careful；　he　said　to　himself；　it　is　all　very　well　for　you　to　write　simply　and　the　simpler　the　better。　But　do　not　start　to　think　so　damned　simply。　Know　how　complicated　it　is　and　then　state　it　simply。　Do　you　suppose　the　Grau　du　Roi　time　was　all　simple　because　you　could　write　a　little　of　it　simply？

He　went　on　writing　in　pencil　in　the　cheap；　lined；　school　notebook　that　was　called　a　cahier　and　already　numbered　one　in　roman　numeral。　He　stopped　finally　and　put　the　notebook　in　a　suitcase　with　a　cardboard　box　of　pencils　and　the　cone…shaped　sharpener；　leaving　the　five　pencils　he　had　dulled　to　point　up　for　the　next　day；　and　took　his　raincoat　from　the　hanger　in　the　closet