the lily of the valley- 第23部分

enlightens　me　as　to　your　character；　your　heart　will　be　your　bane。　I

shall　claim　from　this　moment　the　right　to　teach　you　certain　things。

Let　my　woman's　eye　see　for　you　sometimes。　Yes；　from　the　solitudes　of

Clochegourde　I　mean　to　share；　silently；　contentedly；　in　your

successes。　As　to　a　tutor；　do　not　fear；　we　shall　find　some　good　old

abbe；　some　learned　Jesuit；　and　my　father　will　gladly　devote　a　handsome

sum　to　the　education　of　the　boy　who　is　to　bear　his　name。　Jacques　is　my

pride。　He　is；　however；　eleven　years　old；〃　she　added　after　a　pause。

〃But　it　is　with　him　as　with　you；　when　I　first　saw　you　I　took　you　to　be

about　thirteen。〃



We　now　reached　the　Cassine；　where　Jacques；　Madeleine；　and　I　followed

her　about　as　children　follow　a　mother；　but　we　were　in　her　way；　I　left

her　presently　and　went　into　the　orchard　where　Martineau　the　elder；

keeper　of　the　place；　was　discussing　with　Martineau　the　younger；　the

bailiff；　whether　certain　trees　ought　or　ought　not　to　be　taken　down；

they　were　arguing　the　matter　as　if　it　concerned　their　own　property。　I

then　saw　how　much　the　countess　was　beloved。　I　spoke　of　it　to　a　poor

laborer；　who；　with　one　foot　on　his　spade　and　an　elbow　on　its　handle；

stood　listening　to　the　two　doctors　of　pomology。



〃Ah；　yes；　monsieur；〃　he　answered；　〃she　is　a　good　woman；　and　not

haughty　like　those　hussies　at　Azay；　who　would　see　us　die　like　dogs

sooner　than　yield　us　one　penny　of　the　price　of　a　grave！　The　day　when

that　woman　leaves　these　parts　the　Blessed　Virgin　will　weep；　and　we

too。　She　knows　what　is　due　to　her；　but　she　knows　our　hardships；　too；

and　she　puts　them　into　the　account。〃



With　what　pleasure　I　gave　that　man　all　the　money　I　had。



A　few　days　later　a　pony　arrived　for　Jacques；　his　father；　an　excellent

horseman；　wishing　to　accustom　the　child　by　degrees　to　the　fatigues　of

such　exercise。　The　boy　had　a　pretty　riding…dress；　bought　with　the

product　of　the　nuts。　The　morning　when　he　took　his　first　lesson

accompanied　by　his　father　and　by　Madeleine；　who　jumped　and　shouted

about　the　lawn　round　which　Jacques　was　riding；　was　a　great　maternal

festival　for　the　countess。　The　boy　wore　a　blue　collar　embroidered　by

her；　a　little　sky…blue　overcoat　fastened　by　a　polished　leather　belt；　a

pair　of　white　trousers　pleated　at　the　waist；　and　a　Scotch　cap；　from

which　his　fair　hair　flowed　in　heavy　locks。　He　was　charming　to　behold。

All　the　servants　clustered　round　to　share　the　domestic　joy。　The　little

heir　smiled　at　his　mother　as　he　passed　her；　sitting　erect；　and　quite

fearless。　This　first　manly　act　of　a　child　to　whom　death　had　often

seemed　so　near；　the　promise　of　a　sound　future　warranted　by　this　ride

which　showed　him　so　handsome；　so　fresh；　so　rosy；what　a　reward　for

all　her　cares！　Then　too　the　joy　of　the　father；　who　seemed　to　renew　his

youth；　and　who　smiled　for　the　first　time　in　many　long　months；　the

pleasure　shown　on　all　faces；　the　shout　of　an　old　huntsman　of　the

Lenoncourts；　who　had　just　arrived　from　Tours；　and　who；　seeing　how　the

boy　held　the　reins；　shouted　to　him；　〃Bravo；　monsieur　le　vicomte！〃all

this　was　too　much　for　the　poor　mother；　and　she　burst　into　tears；　she；

so　calm　in　her　griefs；　was　too　weak　to　bear　the　joy　of　admiring　her

boy　as　he　bounded　over　the　gravel；　where　so　often　she　had　led　him　in

the　sunshine　inwardly　weeping　his　expected　death。　She　leaned　upon　my

arm　unreservedly；　and　said：　〃I　think　I　have　never　suffered。　Do　not

leave　us　to…day。〃



The　lesson　over；　Jacques　jumped　into　his　mother's　arms；　she　caught　him

and　held　him　tightly　to　her；　kissing　him　passionately。　I　went　with

Madeleine　to　arrange　two　magnificent　bouquets　for　the　dinner…table　in

honor　of　the　young　equestrian。　When　we　returned　to　the　salon　the

countess　said：　〃The　fifteenth　of　October　is　certainly　a　great　day　with

me。　Jacques　has　taken　his　first　riding　lesson；　and　I　have　just　set　the

last　stitch　in　my　furniture　cover。〃



〃Then；　Blanche；〃　said　the　count；　laughing；　〃I　must　pay　you　for　it。〃



He　offered　her　his　arm　and　took　her　to　the　first　courtyard；　where

stood　an　open　carriage　which　her　father　had　sent　her；　and　for　which

the　count　had　purchased　two　English　horses。　The　old　huntsman　had

prepared　the　surprise　while　Jacques　was　taking　his　lesson。　We　got　into

the　carriage；　and　went　to　see　where　the　new　avenue　entered　the　main

road　towards　Chinon。　As　we　returned；　the　countess　said　to　me　in　an

anxious　tone；　〃I　am　too　happy；　to　me　happiness　is　like　an　illness；it

overwhelms　me；　I　fear　it　may　vanish　like　a　dream。〃



I　loved　her　too　passionately　not　to　feel　jealous；I　who　could　give

her　nothing！　In　my　rage　against　myself　I　longed　for　some　means　of

dying　for　her。　She　asked　me　to　tell　her　the　thoughts　that　filled　my

eyes；　and　I　told　her　honestly。　She　was　more　touched　than　by　all　her

presents；　then　taking　me　to　the　portico；　she　poured　comfort　into　my

heart。　〃Love　me　as　my　aunt　loved　me；〃　she　said；　〃and　that　will　be

giving　me　your　life；　and　if　I　take　it；　must　I　not　ever　be　grateful　to

you？



〃It　was　time　I　finished　my　tapestry；〃　she　added　as　we　re…entered　the

salon；　where　I　kissed　her　hand　as　if　to　renew　my　vows。　〃Perhaps　you　do

not　know；　Felix；　why　I　began　so　formidable　a　piece　of　work。　Men　find

the　occupations　of　life　a　great　resource　against　troubles；　the

management　of　affairs　distracts　their　mind；　but　we　poor　women　have　no

support　within　ourselves　against　our　sorrows。　To　be　able　to　smile

before　my　children　and　my　husband　when　my　heart　was　heavy　I　felt　the

need　of　controlling　my　inward　sufferings　by　some　physical　exercise。　In

this　way　I　escaped　the　depression　which　is　apt　to　follow　a　great

strain　upon　the　moral　strength；　and　likewise　all　outbursts　of

excitement。　The　mere　action　of　lifting　my　arm　regularly　as　I　drew　the

stitches　rocked　my　thoughts　and　gave　to　my　spirit　when　the　tempest

raged　a　monotonous　ebb　and　flow　which　seemed　to　regulate　its　emotions。

To　every　stitch　I　confided　my　secrets；you　understand　me；　do　you　not？

Well；　while　doing　my　last　chair　I　have　thought　much；　too　much；　of　you；

dear　friend。　What　you　have　put　into　your　bouquets　I　have　said　in　my

embroidery。〃



The　dinner　was　lovely。　Jacques；　like　all　children　when　you　take　notice

of　them；　jumped　into　my　arms　when　he　saw　the　flowers　I　had　arranged

for　him　as　a　garland。　His　mother　pretended　to　be　jealous；　ah；　Natalie；

you　should　have　seen　the　charming　grace　with　which　the　dear　child

offered　them　to　her。　In　the　afternoon　we　played　a　game　of　backgammon；

I　alone　against　Monsieur　and　Madame　de　Mortsauf；　and　the　count　was

charming。　They　accompanied　me　along　the　road　to　Frapesle　in　the

twilight　of　a　tranquil　evening；　one　of　those　harmonious　evenings　when

our　feelings　gain　in　depth　what　they　lose　in　vivacity。　It　was　a　day　of

days　in　this　poor　woman's　life；　a　spot　of　brightness　which　often

comforted　her　thoughts　in　painful　hours。



Soon；　however；　the　riding　lessons　became　a　subject　of　contention。　The

countess　justly　feared　the　count's　harsh　reprimands　to　his　son。

Jacques　grew　thin；　dark　circles　surrounded　his　sweet　blue　eyes；　rather

than　trouble　his　mother；　he　suffered　in　silence。　I　advised　him　to　tell

his　father　he　was　tired　when　the　count's　temper　was　violent；　but　that

expedient　proved　unavailing；　and　it　became　necessary　to　substitute　the

old　huntsman　as　a　teacher　in　place　of　the　father；　who　could　with

difficulty　be　induced　to　resign　his　pupil。　Angry　reproaches　and

contentions　began　once　more；　the　count　found　a　text　for　his　continual

complaints　in　the　base　ingratitude　of　women；　he　flung　the　carriage；

horses；　and　liveries　in　his　wife's　face　twenty　times　a　day。　At　last　a

circumstance　occurred　on　which　a　man　with　his　nature　and　his　disease

naturally　fastened　eagerly。　The　cost　of　the　buildings　at　the　Cassine

and　the　Rhetoriere　proved　to　be　half　as　much　again　as　the　estimate。

This　news　was　unfortunately　given　in　the　first　instance　to　Monsieur　de

Mortsauf　instead　of　to　his　wife。　It　was　the　ground　of　a　quarrel；　which

began　mildly　but　grew　more　and　more　embittered　until　it　seemed　as

though　the　count's　madness；　lulled　for　a　short　time；　was　demanding　its

arrearages　from　the　poor　wife。



That　day　I　had　started　from　Frapesle　at　half…past　ten　to　search　for

flowers　with　Madeleine。　The　child　had　brought　the　two　vases　to　the

portico；　and　I　was　wandering　about　the　gardens　and　adjoining　meadows

gathering　the　autumn　flowers；　so　beautiful；　but　too　rare。　Returning

from　my　final　quest；　I　could　not　find　my　little　lieutenant　with　her

white　cape　and　broad　pink　sash；　but　I　heard　cries　within　the　house；

and　Madeleine　presently　came　running　out。



〃The　general；〃　she　said；　crying　（the　term　with　her　was　an　expression

of　dislike）；　〃the　general　is　scolding　mamma；　go　and　defend　her。〃



I　sprang　up　the　steps　of　the　portico　and　reached　the　salon　without

being　seen　by　either　the　count　or　his　wife。　Hearing　the　madman's　sharp

cries　I　first　shut　all　the　doors；　then　I　returned　and　found　Henriette

as　white　as　her　dress。



〃Never　marry；　Felix；〃　said　the　count　as　soon　as　he　saw　me；　〃a　woman　is

led　by　the　devil；　the　most　virtuous　of　them　would　invent　evil　if　it

did　not　exist；　they　are　all　vile。〃



Then　followed　arguments　without　beginning　or　end。　Harking　back　to　the

old　troubles；　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　repeated　the　nonsense　of　the

peasantry　against　the　new　system　of　farming。　He　declared　that　if　he

had　had　the　management　of　Clochegourde　he　should　be　twice　as　rich　as

he　now　was。　He　shouted　these　complaints　and　insults；　he　swore；　he

sprang　around　the　room　knocking　against　the　furniture　and　displacing

it；　then　in　the　middle　of　a　sentence　he　stopped　short；　complained　that

his　very　marrow　was　on　fire；　his　brains　melting　away　like　his　money；

his　wife　had　ruined　him！　The　countess　smiled　and　looked　upward。



〃Yes；　Blanche；〃　he　cried；　〃you　are　my　executioner；　you　are　killing　me；

I　am　in　your　way；　you　want　to　get　rid　of　me；　you　are　monster　of

hypocrisy。　She　is　smiling！　Do　you　know　why　she　smiles；　Felix？〃



I　kept　silence　a