the lily of the valley- 第30部分

instinctive　perceptions。　All　deductions　derived　only　from　sufferings

endured　are　incomplete。　Happiness　has　a　light　to　cast。　I　now　allowed

myself　the　more　willingly　to　be　kept　under　the　heel　of　primogeniture

because　I　was　not　my　brother's　dupe。



I　always　went　alone　to　the　Duchesse　de　Lenoncourt's；　where　Henriette's

name　was　never　mentioned；　no　one；　except　the　good　old　duke；　who　was

simplicity　itself；　ever　spoke　of　her　to　me；　but　by　the　way　he　welcomed

me　I　guessed　that　his　daughter　had　privately　commended　me　to　his　care。

At　the　moment　when　I　was　beginning　to　overcome　the　foolish　wonder　and

shyness　which　besets　a　young　man　at　his　first　entrance　into　the　great

world；　and　to　realize　the　pleasures　it　could　give　through　the

resources　it　offers　to　ambition；　just；　too；　as　I　was　beginning　to　make

use　of　Henriette's　maxims；　admiring　their　wisdom；　the　events　of　the

20th　of　March　took　place。



My　brother　followed　the　court　to　Ghent；　I；　by　Henriette's　advice　（for

I　kept　up　a　correspondence　with　her；　active　on　my　side　only）；　went

there　also　with　the　Duc　de　Lenoncourt。　The　natural　kindness　of　the　old

duke　turned　to　a　hearty　and　sincere　protection　as　soon　as　he　saw　me

attached；　body　and　soul；　to　the　Bourbons。　He　himself　presented　me　to

his　Majesty。　Courtiers　are　not　numerous　when　misfortunes　are　rife；　but

youth　is　gifted　with　ingenuous　admiration　and　uncalculating　fidelity。

The　king　had　the　faculty　of　judging　men；　a　devotion　which　might　have

passed　unobserved　in　Paris　counted　for　much　at　Ghent；　and　I　had　the

happiness　of　pleasing　Louis　XVIII。



A　letter　from　Madame　de　Mortsauf　to　her　father；　brought　with

despatches　by　an　emissary　of　the　Vendeens；　enclosed　a　note　to　me　by

which　I　learned　that　Jacques　was　ill。　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；　in　despair

at　his　son's　ill…health；　and　also　at　the　news　of　a　second　emigration；

added　a　few　words　which　enabled　me　to　guess　the　situation　of　my　dear

one。　Worried　by　him；　no　doubt；　when　she　passed　all　her　time　at

Jacques'　bedside；　allowed　no　rest　either　day　or　night；　superior　to

annoyance；　yet　unable　always　to　control　herself　when　her　whole　soul

was　given　to　the　care　of　her　child；　Henriette　needed　the　support　of　a

friendship　which　might　lighten　the　burden　of　her　life；　were　it　only　by

diverting　her　husband's　mind。　Though　I　was　now　most　impatient　to　rival

the　career　of　my　brother；　who　had　lately　been　sent　to　the　Congress　of

Vienna；　and　was　anxious　at　any　risk　to　justify　Henriette's　appeal　and

become　a　man　myself；　freed　from　all　vassalage；　nevertheless　my

ambition；　my　desire　for　independence；　the　great　interest　I　had　in　not

leaving　the　king；　all　were　of　no　account　before　the　vision　of　Madame

de　Mortsauf's　sad　face。　I　resolved　to　leave　the　court　at　Ghent　and

serve　my　true　sovereign。　God　rewarded　me。　The　emissary　sent　by　the

Vendeens　was　unable　to　return。　The　king　wanted　a　messenger　who　would

faithfully　carry　back　his　instructions。　The　Duc　de　Lenoncourt　knew

that　the　king　would　never　forget　the　man　who　undertook　so　perilous　an

enterprise；　he　asked　for　the　mission　without　consulting　me；　and　I

gladly　accepted　it；　happy　indeed　to　be　able　to　return　to　Clochegourde

employed　in　the　good　cause。



After　an　audience　with　the　king　I　returned　to　France；　where；　both　in

Paris　and　in　Vendee；　I　was　fortunate　enough　to　carry　out　his　Majesty's

instructions。　Towards　the　end　of　May；　being　tracked　by　the　Bonapartist

authorities　to　whom　I　was　denounced；　I　was　obliged　to　fly　from　place

to　place　in　the　character　of　a　man　endeavoring　to　get　back　to　his

estate。　I　went　on　foot　from　park　to　park；　from　wood　to　wood；　across

the　whole　of　upper　Vendee；　the　Bocage　and　Poitou；　changing　my

direction　as　danger　threatened。



I　reached　Saumur；　from　Saumur　I　went　to　Chinon；　and　from　Chinon　I

reached；　in　a　single　night；　the　woods　of　Nueil；　where　I　met　the　count

on　horseback；　he　took　me　up　behind　him　and　we　reached　Clochegourde

without　passing　any　one　who　recognized　me。



〃Jacques　is　better；〃　were　the　first　words　he　said　to　me。



I　explained　to　him　my　position　of　diplomatic　postman；　hunted　like　a

wild　beast；　and　the　brave　gentleman　in　his　quality　of　royalist　claimed

the　danger　over　Chessel　of　receiving　me。　As　we　came　in　sight　of

Clochegourde　the　past　eight　months　rolled　away　like　a　dream。　When　we

entered　the　salon　the　count　said：　〃Guess　whom　I　bring　you？Felix！〃



〃Is　it　possible！〃　she　said；　with　pendant　arms　and　a　bewildered　face。



I　showed　myself　and　we　both　remained　motionless；　she　in　her　armchair；

I　on　the　threshold　of　the　door；　looking　at　each　other　with　that　hunger

of　the　soul　which　endeavors　to　make　up　in　a　single　glance　for　the　lost

months。　Then；　recovering　from　a　surprise　which　left　her　heart

unveiled；　she　rose　and　I　went　up　to　her。



〃I　have　prayed　for　your　safety；〃　she　said；　giving　me　her　hand　to　kiss。



She　asked　news　of　her　father；　then　she　guessed　my　weariness　and　went

to　prepare　my　room；　while　the　count　gave　me　something　to　eat；　for　I

was　dying　of　hunger。　My　room　was　the　one　above　hers；　her　aunt's　room；

she　requested　the　count　to　take　me　there；　after　setting　her　foot　on

the　first　step　of　the　staircase；　deliberating　no　doubt　whether　to

accompany　me；　I　turned　my　head；　she　blushed；　bade　me　sleep　well；　and

went　away。　When　I　came　down　to　dinner　I　heard　for　the　first　time　of

the　disasters　at　Waterloo；　the　flight　of　Napoleon；　the　march　of　the

Allies　to　Paris；　and　the　probable　return　of　the　Bourbons。　These　events

were　all　in　all　to　the　count；　to　us　they　were　nothing。　What　think　you

was　the　great　event　I　was　to　learn；　after　kissing　the　children？for　I

will　not　dwell　on　the　alarm　I　felt　at　seeing　the　countess　pale　and

shrunken；　I　knew　the　injury　I　might　do　by　showing　it　and　was　careful

to　express　only　joy　at　seeing　her。　But　the　great　event　for　us　was　told

in　the　words；　〃You　shall　have　ice　to…day！〃　She　had　often　fretted　the

year　before　that　the　water　was　not　cold　enough　for　me；　who；　never

drinking　anything　else；　liked　it　iced。　God　knows　how　many　entreaties

it　had　cost　her　to　get　an　ice…house　built。　You　know　better　than　any

one　that　a　word；　a　look；　an　inflection　of　the　voice；　a　trifling

attention；　suffices　for　love；　love's　noblest　privilege　is　to　prove

itself　by　love。　Well；　her　words；　her　look；　her　pleasure；　showed　me　her

feelings；　as　I　had　formerly　shown　her　mine　by　that　first　game　of

backgammon。　These　ingenuous　proofs　of　her　affection　were　many；　on　the

seventh　day　after　my　arrival　she　recovered　her　freshness；　she　sparkled

with　health　and　youth　and　happiness；　my　lily　expanded　in　beauty　just

as　the　treasures　of　my　heart　increased。　Only　in　petty　minds　or　in

common　hearts　can　absence　lessen　love　or　efface　the　features　or

diminish　the　beauty　of　our　dear　one。　To　ardent　imaginations；　to　all

beings　through　whose　veins　enthusiasm　passes　like　a　crimson　tide；　and

in　whom　passion　takes　the　form　of　constancy；　absence　has　the　same

effect　as　the　sufferings　of　the　early　Christians；　which　strengthened

their　faith　and　made　God　visible　to　them。　In　hearts　that　abound　in

love　are　there　not　incessant　longings　for　a　desired　object；　to　which

the　glowing　fire　of　our　dreams　gives　higher　value　and　a　deeper　tint？

Are　we　not　conscious　of　instigations　which　give　to　the　beloved

features　the　beauty　of　the　ideal　by　inspiring　them　with　thought？　The

past；　dwelt　on　in　all　its　details　becomes　magnified；　the　future　teems

with　hope。　When　two　hearts　filled　with　these　electric　clouds　meet　each

other；　their　interview　is　like　the　welcome　storm　which　revives　the

earth　and　stimulates　it　with　the　swift　lightnings　of　the　thunderbolt。

How　many　tender　pleasures　came　to　me　when　I　found　these　thoughts　and

these　sensations　reciprocal！　With　what　glad　eyes　I　followed　the

development　of　happiness　in　Henriette！　A　woman　who　renews　her　life

from　that　of　her　beloved　gives；　perhaps；　a　greater　proof　of　feeling

than　she　who　dies　killed　by　a　doubt；　withered　on　her　stock　for　want　of

sap；　I　know　not　which　of　the　two　is　the　more　touching。



The　revival　of　Madame　de　Mortsauf　was　wholly　natural；　like　the　effects

of　the　month　of　May　upon　the　meadows；　or　those　of　the　sun　and　of　the

brook　upon　the　drooping　flowers。　Henriette；　like　our　dear　valley　of

love；　had　had　her　winter；　she　revived　like　the　valley　in　the

springtime。　Before　dinner　we　went　down　to　the　beloved　terrace。　There；

with　one　hand　stroking　the　head　of　her　son；　who　walked　feebly　beside

her；　silent；　as　though　he　were　breeding　an　illness；　she　told　me　of　her

nights　beside　his　pillow。



For　three　months；　she　said；　she　had　lived　wholly　within　herself；

inhabiting；　as　it　were；　a　dark　palace；　afraid　to　enter　sumptuous　rooms

where　the　light　shone；　where　festivals　were　given；　to　her　denied；　at

the　door　of　which　she　stood；　one　glance　turned　upon　her　child；　another

to　a　dim　and　distant　figure；　one　ear　listening　for　moans；　another　for

a　voice。　She　told　me　poems；　born　of　solitude；　such　as　no　poet　ever

sang；　but　all　ingenuously；　without　one　vestige　of　love；　one　trace　of

voluptuous　thought；　one　echo　of　a　poesy　orientally　soothing　as　the

rose　of　Frangistan。　When　the　count　joined　us　she　continued　in　the　same

tone；　like　a　woman　secure　within　herself；　able　to　look　proudly　at　her

husband　and　kiss　the　forehead　of　her　son　without　a　blush。　She　had

prayed　much；　she　had　clasped　her　hands　for　nights　together　over　her

child；　refusing　to　let　him　die。



〃I　went；〃　she　said；　〃to　the　gate　of　the　sanctuary　and　asked　his　life

of　God。〃



She　had　had　visions；　and　she　told　them　to　me；　but　when　she　said；　in

that　angelic　voice　of　hers；　these　exquisite　words；　〃While　I　slept　my

heart　watched；〃　the　count　harshly　interrupted　her。



〃That　is　to　say；　you　were　half　crazy；〃　he　cried。



She　was　silent；　as　deeply　hurt　as　though　it　were　a　first　wound；

forgetting　that　for　thirteen　years　this　man　had　lost　no　chance　to

shoot　his　arrows　into　her　heart。　Like　a　soaring　bird　struck　on　the

wing　by　vulgar　shot；　she　sank　into　a　dull　depression；　then　she　roused

hers