the price she paid- 第16部分

There　was　no　anger　in　his　voice；　no　menace　either　open　or　covert；　simply　finalitythe　last　word　of　the　man　who　had　made　himself　feared　and　secure　in　the　mining…camps　where　the　equation　of　personal　courage　is　straightway　applied　to　every　situation。　　Mildred　shivered。　　She　longed　to　yield；　to　stammer　out　some　excuse　and　obey　him。　　But　she　could　not；　nor　was　she　able　to　rise　from　her　chair。　　She　saw　in　his　hard　eyes　a　look　of　astonishment；　of　curiosity　as　to　this　unaccountable　defiance　in　one　who　had　seemed　docile；　who　had　apparently　no　alternative　but　obedience。　　He　was　not　so　astonished　at　her　as　she　was　at　herself。　　‘‘What　is　to　become　of　me？''　her　terror…stricken　soul　was　crying。　‘‘I　must　do　as　he　saysI　mustyet　I　cannot！''　And　she　looked　at　him　and　sat　motionless。

He　turned　away；　moved　slowly　toward　the　door；　halted　at　the　threshold　to　give　her　time；　was　gone。　　A　fit　of　trembling　seized　her；　she　leaned　forward　and　rested　her　arms　upon　the　dressing…table　or　she　would　have　fallen　from　the　chair　to　the　floor。　　Yet；　even　as　her　fear　made　her　sick　and　weak；　she　knew　that　she　would　not　yield。

The　cold　drove　her　to　the　couch；　to　lie　under　half　a　dozen　of　the　dressing…gowns　and　presently　to　fall　into　a　sleep　of　exhaustion。　　When　she　awoke　after　what　she　thought　was　a　few　minutes　of　unconsciousness；　the　clamor　of　traffic　in　the　Rue　de　Rivoli　startled　her。　　She　started　up；　glanced　at　the　clock　on　the　chimneypiece。　It　was　ten　minutes　past　nine！　　When；　by　all　the　rules　governing　the　action　of　the　nerves；　she　ought　to　have　passed　a　wakeful　night　she　had　overslept　more　than　an　hour。　　Indeed；　she　had　had　the　first　sound　and　prolonged　sleep　that　had　come　to　her　since　the　honeymoon　began；　for　until　then　she　had　slept　alone　all　her　life　and　the　new　order　had　almost　given　her　chronic　insomnia。　She　rang　for　her　maid　and　began　to　dress。　　The　maid　did　not　come。　　She　rang　again　and　again；　apparently　the　bell　was　broken。　　She　finished　dressing　and　went　out　into　the　huge；　grandly　and　gaudily　furnished　salon。　　Harding　was　at　a　carved　old…gold　and　lacquer　desk；　writing。　　As　she　entered　he　rose　and　bowed。

‘‘Won't　you　please　call　one　of　the　servants？''　said　she。　　‘‘I　want　my　coffee。　　I　guess　the　bell　in　my　room　is　broken。　　My　maid　doesn't　answer。''

‘‘No；　the　bell　is　not　broken；''　said　Harding。

She　looked　at　him　questioningly。

‘‘The　general　has　issued　an　order　that　nothing　is　to　be　done　in　this　apartment；　and　nothing　served；　unless　he　personally　authorizes　it。''

Mildred　paled；　drew　herself　up　in　what　seemed　a　gesture　of　haughtiness　but　was　an　effort　to　muster　her　strength。　　To　save　herself　from　the　humiliation　of　a　breakdown　before　him；　she　hastily　retreated　by　the　way　she　had　come。　　After　perhaps　a　quarter　of　an　hour　she　reappeared　in　the　salon；　she　was　now　dressed　for　the　street。　　Harding　looked　up　from　his　writing；　rose　and　bowed　gravely。　　Said　she：

‘‘I　am　going　out　for　a　walk。　　I'll　be　back　in　an　hour　or　so。''

‘‘One　moment；''　said　Harding；　halting　her　as　she　was　opening　the　door　into　the　public　hall。　　‘‘The　general　has　issued　an　order　that　if　you　go　out；　you　are　not　to　be　allowed　to　return。''

Her　hand　fell　from　the　knob。　　With　flashing　eyes　she　cried；　‘‘But　that　is　impossible！''

‘‘It　is　his　orders；''　said　Harding；　in　his　usual　quiet　manner。　　‘‘And　as　he　pays　the　bills　he　will　be　obeyed。''

She　debated。　　Against　her　will；　her　trembling　hand　sought　the　knob　again。　　Against　her　will；　her　weak　arm　began　to　draw　the　door　open。　　Harding　came　toward　her；　stood　before　her　and　looked　directly　into　her　eyes。　His　eyes　had　dread　and　entreaty　in　them；　but　his　voice　was　as　always　when　he　said：

‘‘You　know　him；　Mrs。　Siddall。''

‘‘Yes；''　she　said。

‘‘The　reason　he　has　got　ALL　he　wantedwhatever　he　wantedis　that　he　will　go　to　any　length。　　Every　other　human　being；　almost；　has　a　limit；　beyond　which　they　will　not　goa　physical　fear　or　a　moral　fear　or　a　fear　of　public　opinion。　　But　the　generalhe　has　no　limit。''

‘‘Yes；''　she　said。　　And　deathly　pale　and　almost　stag…　gering　she　drew　open　the　door　and　went　out　into　the　public　hall。

‘‘For　God's　sake；　Mrs。　Siddall！''　cried　Harding；　in　great　agitation。　　‘‘Come　in　quickly。　　They　are　watching　they　will　tell　him！　　Are　you　mad？''

‘‘I　think　I　must　be；''　said　she。　　‘‘I　am　sick　with　fear。　I　can　hardly　keep　from　dropping　down　here　in　a　faint。　Yet''　a　strange　look；　a　mingling　of　abject　terror　and　passionate　defiance；　gave　her　an　aspect　quite　insane　‘‘I　am　going。　　Perhaps　I；　too；　have　no　limit。''

And　she　went　along　the　corridor；　past　a　group　of　gaping　and　frightened　servants；　down　the　stairway　and　out　by　the　private　entrance　for　the　grand　apartments　of　the　hotel　in　the　Rue　Raymond　de　l'Isle。　　She　crossed　the　Rue　de　Rivoli　and　entered　the　Tuileries　Gardens。　It　was　only　bracingly　cool　in　the　sunshine　of　that　winter　day。　　She　seated　herself　on　a　chair　on　the　terrace　to　regain　her　ebbed　strength。　　Hardly　had　she　sat　down　when　the　woman　collector　came　and　stood　waiting　for　the　two　sous　for　the　chair。　　Mildred　opened　her　bag；　found　two　coins。　　She　gave　the　coppers　to　the　woman。　　The　otherall　the　money　she　hadwas　the　fifty…centime　piece。

‘‘But　the　bagI　can　get　a　good　deal　for　that；''　she　said　aloud。

‘‘I　beg　your　pardonI　didn't　catch　that。''

She　came　back　to　a　sense　of　her　surroundings。　　Stanley　Baird　was　standing　a　few　feet　away；　smiling　down　at　her。　　He　was；　if　possible；　even　more　attractively　dressed　than　in　the　days　when　he　hovered　about　her；　hoping　vague　things　of　which　he　was　ashamed　and　try…　ing　to　get　the　courage　to　put　down　his　snobbishness　and　marry　her　because　she　so　exactly　suited　him。　　He　was　wearing　a　new　kind　of　collar　and　tie；　striking　yet　in　excellent　quiet　taste。　　Also；　his　face　and　figure　had　filled　out　just　enoughhe　had　been　too　thin　in　the　former　days。　　But　he　was　now　entered　upon　that　period　of　the　fearsome　forties　when；　unless　a　man　amounts　to　something；　he　begins　to　look　insignificant。　　He　did　not　amount　to　anything；　he　was　therefore　paling　and　waning　as　a　personality。

‘‘Was　I　thinking　aloud？''　said　Mildred；　as　she　gave　him　her　hand。

‘‘You　said　something　about　‘getting　a　good　deal。'　''　He　inspected　her　with　the　freedom　of　an　old　friend　and　with　the　thoroughness　of　a　connoisseur。　　Women　who　took　pains　with　themselves　and　were　satisfied　with　the　results　liked　Stanley　Baird's　knowing　and　appreciative　way　of　noting　the　best　points　in　their　toilets。　　‘‘You're　looking　fine；''　declared　he。　　‘‘It　must　be　a　pleasure　to　them　up　in　the　Rue　de　la　Paix　to　dress　you。　　That's　more　than　can　be　said　for　nine　out　of　ten　of　the　women　who　go　there。　　Yes；　you're　looking　fineand　in　grand　health；　too。　　Why；　you　look　younger　than　I　ever　saw　you。　　Nothing　like　marriage　to　freshen　a　girl　up。　Well；　I　suppose　waiting　round　for　a　husband　who　may　or　may　not　turn　up　does　wear　a　woman　down。''

‘‘It　almost　killed　me；''　laughed　Mildred。　　‘‘And　you　were　largely　responsible。''

‘‘I？''　said　Baird。　　‘‘You　didn't　want　me。　　I　was　too　old　for　you。''

‘‘No；　I　didn't　want　you；''　said　Mildred。　　‘‘But　you　spoiled　me。　　I　couldn't　endure　the　boys　of　my　own　age。''

Stanley　was　remembering　that　Mildred　had　married　a　man　much　older　than　he。　　With　some　notion　of　a　careless　sort　of　tact　in　mind　he　said；　‘‘I　was　betwixt　and　betweenneither　young　enough　nor　old　enough。''

‘‘You've　married；　too；　since　we　met。　　By　the　way；　thank　you　again　for　that　charming　remembrance。　You　always　did　have　such　good　taste。　　But　why　didn't　you　come　to　the　weddingyou　and　your　wife？''

He　laughed。　　‘‘We　were　busy　busting　up；''　said　he。　‘‘You　hadn't　heard？　　It's　been　in　the　papers。　　She's　gone　back　to　her　people。　　Oh；　nothing　disgraceful　on　either　side。　　Simply　that　we　bored　each　other　to　death。　She　was　crazy　about　horses　and　dogs；　and　that　set。　　I　think　the　stable's　the　place　for　horsesdon't　care　to　have　'em　parading　through　the　house　all　the　time；　every　room；　every　meal；　sleeping　and　waking。　　And　dogs　the　infernal　brutes　always　have　fleas。　　Fleas　only　tickled　her；　but　they　bite　meraise　welts　and　hills。　　There's　your　husband　now；　isn't　it？''

Baird　was　looking　up　at　the　windows　of　the　Continental；　across　the　street。　　Mildred's　glance　slowly　and　carelessly　followed　his。　　At　one　window　stood　the　little　general；　gazing　abstractedly　out　over　the　gardens。　　At　another　window　Mildred　saw　Harding；　at　a　third；　her　maid；　at　a　fourth；　Harding's　assistant；　Drawl；　at　a　fifth；　three　servants　of　the　retinue。　　Except　the　general；　all　were　looking　at　her。

‘‘You've　married　a　very　extraordinary　man；''　said　Baird；　in　a　correct　tone　of　admiration。　　‘‘One　of　the　ablest　and　most　interesting　men　we've　got；　_I_　think。''

‘‘So　you　are　free　again？''　said　Mildred；　looking　at　him　with　a　queer；　cold　smile。

‘‘Yes；　and　no；''　replied　Stanley。　　‘‘I　hope　to　be　entirely　free。　　It's　her　move　next。　　I'm　expecting　it　every　day。　　But　I'm　thoroughly　respectable。　　Won't　you　and　the　general　dine　with　me？''

‘‘Thanks；　but　I'm　sailing　for　home　to…morrow　or　next　day。''

‘‘That's　interesting；''　said　Baird；　with　enthusiasm。　‘‘So　am　I。　　What　ship　do　you　go　on？''

‘‘I　don't　know　yet。　　I'm　to　decide　this　afternoon；　after　lunch。''　　She　laughed。　　‘‘I'm　sitting　here　waiting　for　someone　to　ask　me　to　lunch。　　I've　not　had　even　coffee　yet。''

‘‘Lunch　with　me！''　cried　Baird。　　‘‘I'll　go　get　the　generalI　know　him　slightly。''

‘‘I　didn't　say　anything　about　the　general；''　said　Mildred。

Stanley　smiled　apologetically。　　‘‘It　wouldn't　do　for　you　to　go　about　with　menot　when　my　missus　is　looking　for　grounds　for　divorce。''

‘‘Why　not？''　said　Mildred。　　‘‘So's　my　husband。''

‘‘You　busted　up；　too？　　Now；　that's　what　_I_　call　jolly。''　　And　he　cast　a　puzzled　glance　up　at　the　abstracted　general。　　‘‘I　say；　Mildred；　this　is　no　place　for　either　of　us；　is　it？''

‘‘I'd　rather　be　where　there's　food；''　confessed　she。

‘‘You　think　it's　a　joke；　but　I　assure　you　　Oh；　you　WERE　jokingabout　YOUR　bust…up？''

‘‘No；　indeed；''　she　assured　him。　　‘‘I　walked　out　a　while　ago；　and　I　couldn't　go　back　if　I　wouldand　I　don't　think　I　would　if　I　could。''

‘‘That's　foolish。　　Better　go　back；''　advised　he。　　He　was　preparing　hastily　to　decamp　from　so　perilous　a　neighborhood。　　‘‘One　marriage　is　about　like　another；　once　you　get　through　the　surface。　　I'm　sure　you'll　be　better　off　thanback　with　your　stepfather。''