the price she paid- 第50部分

‘‘Why？''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Tell　him　what　you　told　me。''

Mildred's　silence　was　dissent。

‘‘It　can't　do　any　harm；''　urged　Agnes。

‘‘It　can't　do　any　good；''　replied　Mildred。

‘‘That　isn't　the　way　to　look　at　it。''

A　long　pause。　　Then　Mildred　said：　　‘‘If　I　got　a　place　somewhere　else；　I'd　meet　the　same　thing　in　another　form。''

‘‘You've　got　to　risk　that。''

‘‘Besides；　I'd　never　have　had　a　chance　of　succeeding　if　Mr。　Ransdell　hadn't　taught　me　and　stood　behind　me。''

It　was　many　minutes　before　Agnes　Belloc　said　in　a　hesitating；　restrained　voice：　　‘‘They　say　that　success　any　kind　of　successhas　its　price；　and　that　one　has　to　be　ready　to　pay　that　price　or　fail。''

Again　the　profound　silence。　　Into　it　gradually　penetrated　the　soft；　insistent　sound　of　the　distant　roar　of　New　Yorka　cruel；　clamorous；　devouring　sound　like　a　demand　for　that　price　of　success。　　Said　Agnes　timidly：

‘‘Why　not　go　to　see　Mr。　Ransdell。''

‘‘He　wouldn't　make　it　up；''　said　Mildred。　　‘‘And　I　I　couldn't。　　I　tried　to　marry　Stanley　Baird　for　moneyand　I　couldn't。　　It　would　be　the　same　way　nowonly　more　so。''

‘‘But　you've　got　to　do　something。''

‘‘Yes；　and　I　will。''　　Mildred　had　risen　abruptly；　was　standing　at　the　window。　　Agnes　Belloc　could　feel　her　soul　rearing　defiantly　at　the　city　into　which　she　was　gazing。　　‘‘I　will！''　she　replied。

‘‘It　sounds　as　if　you'd　been　pushed　to　where　you'd　turn　and　make　a　fight；''　said　Agnes。

‘‘I　hope　so；''　said　Mildred。　　‘‘It's　high　time。''

She　thought　out　several　more　or　less　ingenious　indirect　routes　into　Mr。　Crossley's　stronghold；　for　use　in　case　frontal　attack　failed。　　But　she　did　not　need　them。　Still；　the　hours　she　spent　in　planning　them　were　by　no　means　wasted。　　No　time　is　wasted　that　is　spent　in　desperate；　concentrated　thinking　about　any　of　the　practical　problems　of　life。　　And　Mildred　Gower；　as　much　as　any　other　woman　of　her　trainingor　lack　of　training　was　deficient　in　ability　to　use　her　mind　purposefully。　Most　of　us　let　our　minds　act　like　a　sheep　in　a　pasturego　wandering　hither　and　yon；　nibbling　at　whatever　happens　to　offer。　　Only　the　superior　few　deliberately　select　a　pasture；　select　a　line　of　procedure　in　that　pasture　and　keep　to　it；　concentrating　upon　what　is　useful　to　us；　and　that　alone。　　So　it　was　excellent　experience　for　Mildred　to　sit　down　and　think　connectedly　and　with　wholly　absorbed　mind　upon　the　phase　of　her　career　most　important　at　the　moment。　　When　she　had　worked　out　all　the　plans　that　had　promise　in　them　she　went　tranquilly　to　sleep；　a　stronger　and　a　more　determined　person；　for　she　had　said　with　the　energy　that　counts：　　‘‘I　shall　see　him；　somehow。　　If　none　of　these　schemes　works；　I'll　work　out　others。　　He's　got　to　see　me。''

But　it　was　no　occult　‘‘bearing　down''　that　led　him　to　order　her　admitted　the　instant　her　card　came。　　He　liked　her；　he　wished　to　see　her　again；　he　felt　that　it　was　the　decent　thing；　and　somehow　not　difficult　gently　but　clearly　to　convey　to　her　the　truth。　　On　her　side　she；　who　had　looked　forward　to　the　interview　with　some　nervousness；　was　at　her　ease　the　moment　she　faced　him　alone　in　that　inner　office。　　He　had　extraordinary　personal　charmmore　than　Ransdell；　though　Ransdell　had　the　charm　invariably　found　in　a　handsome　human　being　with　the　many…sided　intellect　that　gives　lightness　of　mind。　　Crossley　was　not　intellectual；　not　in　the　least。　　One　had　only　to　glance　at　him　to　see　that　he　was　one　of　those　men　who　reserve　all　their　intelligence　for　the　practical　sides　of　the　practical　thing　that　forms　the　basis　of　their　material　career。　　He　knew　something　of　many　things；　had　a　wonderful　assortment　of　talents　could　sing；　could　play　piano　or　violin；　could　compose；　could　act；　could　do　mystifying　card　tricks；　could　order　women's　clothes　as　discriminatingly　as　he　could　order　his　ownall　these　things　a　little；　but　nothing　much　except　making　a　success　of　musical　comedy　and　comic　opera。　　He　had　an　ambition；　carefully　restrained　in　a　closet　of　his　mind；　where　it　could　not　issue　forth　and　interfere　with　his　business。　　This　ambition　was　to　be　a　giver　of　grand　opera　on　a　superb　scale。　　He　regarded　himself　as　a　mere　money…makerwas　not　ashamed　of　this；　but　neither　was　he　proud　of　it。　　His　ambition　then　represented　a　dream　of　a　rise　to　something　more　than　business　man；　to　friend　and　encourager　and　wet　nurse　to　art。

Mildred　Gower　had　happened　to　set　his　imagination　to　working。　　The　discovery　that　she　was　one　of　those　whose　personalities　rouse　high　expectations　only　to　mock　them　had　been　a　severe　blow　to　his　confidence　in　his　own　judgment。　　Though　he　pretended　to　believe；　and　had　the　habit　of　saying　that　he　was　‘‘weak　and　soft；''　was　always　being　misled　by　his　good　nature；　he　really　believed　himself　an　unerring　judge　of　human　beings；　and；　as　his　success　evidenced；　he　was　not　far　wrong。　　Thus；　though　convinced　that　Mildred　was　a　‘‘false　alarm；''　his　secret　vanity　would　not　let　him　release　his　original　idea。　　He　had　the　tenacity　that　is　an　important　element　in　all　successes；　and　tenacity　become　a　fixed　habit　has　even　been　known　to　ruin　in　the　end　the　very　careers　it　has　made。

Said　Mildred；　in　a　manner　which　was　astonishingly　unemotional　and　businesslike：　　‘‘I've　not　come　to　tattle　and　to　whine；　Mr。　Crossley。　　I've　hesitated　about　coming　at　all；　partly　because　I've　an　instinct　it's　useless；　partly　because　what　I　have　to　say　isn't　easy。''

Crossley's　expression　hardened。　　The　old　story！　excuses；　excuses；　self…excusesomebody　else　to　blame。

‘‘If　it　hadn't　been　for　Mr。　Ransdellthe　trouble　he　took　with　me；　the　coaching　he　gave　meI'd　have　been　a　ridiculous　failure　at　the　very　first　rehearsal。　　But　it　is　to　Mr。　Ransdell　that　my　failure　is　due。''

‘‘My　dear　Miss　Gower；''　said　Crossley；　polite　but　cold；　‘‘I　regret　hearing　you　say　that。　　The　fact　is　very　different。　　Not　until　you　had　done　soso　unacceptably　at　several　rehearsals　that　news　of　it　reached　me　by　another　waynot　until　I　myself　went　to　Mr。　Ransdell　about　you　did　he　admit　that　there　could　be　a　possibility　of　a　doubt　of　your　succeeding。　　I　had　to　go　to　rehearsal　myself　and　directly　order　him　to　restore　Miss　Esmond　and　lay　you　off。''

Mildred　was　not　unprepared。　　She　received　this　tranquilly。　　‘‘Mr。　Ransdell　is　a　very　clever　man；''　said　she　with　perfect　good　humor。　　‘‘I've　no　hope　of　convincing　you；　but　I　must　tell　my　side。''

And　clearly　and　simply；　with　no　concealments　through　fear　of　disturbing　his　high　ideal　of　her　ladylike　deli…　cacy；　she　told　him　the　story。　　He　listened；　seated　well　back　in　his　tilted　desk…chair；　his　gaze　upon　the　ceiling。　When　she　finished　he　held　his　pose　a　moment；　then　got　up　and　paced　the　length　of　the　office　several　times；　his　hands　in　his　pockets。　　He　paused；　looked　keenly　at　her；　a　good…humored　smile　in　those　eyes　of　his　so　fascinating　to　women　because　of　their　frank　wavering　of　an　inconstancy　it　would　indeed　be　a　triumph　to　seize　and　hold。　Said　he：

‘‘And　your　bad　throat？　　Did　Ransdell　give　you　a　germ？''

She　colored。　　He　had　gone　straight　at　the　weak　point。

‘‘If　you'd　been　able　to　sing；''　he　went　on；　‘‘nobody　could　have　done　you　up。''

She　could　not　gather　herself　together　for　speech。

‘‘Didn't　you　know　your　voice　wasn't　reliable　when　you　came　to　me？''

‘‘Yes；''　she　admitted。

‘‘And　wasn't　that　the　REAL　reason　you　had　given　up　grand　opera？''　pursued　he　mercilessly。

‘‘The　reason　was　what　I　told　youlack　of　money；''　replied　she。　　‘‘I　did　not　go　into　the　reason　why　I　lacked　money。　　Why　should　I　when；　even　on　my　worst　days；　I　could　get　through　all　my　part　in　a　musical　comedy　except　songs　that　could　be　cut　down　or　cut　out？　　If　I　could　have　made　good　at　acting；　would　you　have　given　me　up　on　account　of　my　voice？''

‘‘Not　if　you　had　been　good　enough；''　he　admitted。

‘‘Then　I　did　not　get　my　engagement　on　false　pretenses？''

‘‘No。　　You　are　right。　　Still；　your　fall…down　as　a　singer　is　the　important　fact。　　Don't　lose　sight　of　it。''

‘‘I　shan't；''　said　she　tersely。

His　eyes　were　frankly　laughing。　　‘‘As　to　Ransdell　what　a　clever　trick！　　He's　a　remarkable　man。　　If　he　weren't　so　shrewd　in　those　little　ways；　he　might　have　been　a　great　man。　　Same　old　storyjust　a　little　too　smart；　and　so　always　doing　the　little　thing　and　missing　the　big　thing。　　Yes；　he　went　gunning　for　youand　got　you。''　　He　dropped　into　his　chair。　　He　thought　a　moment；　laughed　aloud；　went　on：　　‘‘No　doubt　he　has　worked　that　same　trick　many　a　time。　　I've　suspected　it　once　or　twice；　but　this　time　he　fooled　me。　　He　got　you；　Miss　Gower；　and　I　can　do　nothing。　　You　must　see　that　I　can't　look　after　details。　　And　I　can't　give　up　as　invaluable　a　man　as　Ransdell。　　If　I　put　you　back；　he'd　put　you　outwould　make　the　piece　fail　rather　than　let　you　succeed。''

Mildred　was　gazing　somberly　at　the　floor。

‘‘It's　hard　linesdevilish　hard　lines；''　he　went　on　sympathetically。　　‘‘But　what　can　I　do？''

‘‘What　can　I　do？''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Do　as　all　people　do　who　succeedmeet　the　conditions。''

‘‘I'm　not　prepared　to　go　as　far　as　that；　at　least　not　yet；''　said　she　with　bitter　sarcasm。　　‘‘Perhaps　when　I'm　actually　starving　and　in　rags''

‘‘A　very　distressing　future；''　interrupted　Crossley。　‘‘ButI　didn't　make　the　world。　　Don't　berate　me。　Be　sensibleand　be　honest；　Miss　Gower；　and　tell　me　how　could　I　possibly　protect　you　and　continue　to　give　successful　shows？　　If　you　can　suggest　any　feasible　way；　I'll　take　it。''

‘‘No；　there　isn't　any　way；''　replied　she；　rising　to　go。

He　rose　to　escort　her　to　the　hall　door。　　‘‘Personally；　the　Ransdell　sort　of　thing　isdistasteful　to　me。　　Perhaps　if　I　were　not　so　busy　I　might　be　forced　by　my　own　giddy　misconduct　to　take　less　high　ground。　　I've　observed　that　the　best　that　can　be　said　for　human　nature　at　its　best　is　that　it　is　as　well　behaved　as　its　real　temptations　permit。　　He　was　making　you；　you　know。　　You've　admitted　it。''

‘‘There's　no　doubt　about　that；''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Mind　you；　I'm　not　excusing　him。　　I'm　simply　explaining　him。　　If　your　voice　had　been　all　rightif　you　could　have　stood　to　any　degree　the　test　he　put　you　to；　the　test　of　standing　aloneyou'd　have　defeated　him。　　He　wouldn't　have　dared　go　on。　　He's　too　shrewd　to　think　a　real　talent　can　be　beaten。''

The　strong　lines；　the　latent　character；　in　Mildred's　face　were　so　strongly　in　evidence　that　looking　at　her　then　no　one　would　have　thought　of　her　beauty　o