camille- 第23部分

The　duke　wrote　to　her　two　or　three　times。　She　recognised　the　writing　and　gave　me　the　letters　without　reading　them。　Sometimes　the　terms　of　these　letters　brought　tears　to　my　eyes。　He　had　imagined　that　by　closing　his　purse　to　Marguerite；　he　would　bring　her　back　to　him；　but　when　he　had　perceived　the　uselessness　of　these　means；　he　could　hold　out　no　longer；　he　wrote　and　asked　that　he　might　see　her　again；　as　before；　no　matter　on　what　conditions。

I　read　these　urgent　and　repeated　letters；　and　tore　them　in　pieces；　without　telling　Marguerite　what　they　contained　and　without　advising　her　to　see　the　old　man　again；　though　I　was　half　inclined　to；　so　much　did　I　pity　him；　but　I　was　afraid　lest；　if　I　so　advised　her　she　should　think　that　I　wished　the　duke；　not　merely　to　come　and　see　her　again；　but　to　take　over　the　expenses　of　the　house；　I　feared；　above　all；　that　she　might　think　me　capable　of　shirking　the　responsibilities　of　every　consequence　to　which　her　love　for　me　might　lead　her。

It　thus　came　about　that　the　duke；　receiving　no　reply；　ceased　to　write；　and　that　Marguerite　and　I　continued　to　live　together　without　giving　a　thought　to　the　future。



Chapter　18

It　would　be　difficult　to　give　you　all　the　details　of　our　new　life。　It　was　made　up　of　a　series　of　little　childish　events；　charming　for　us　but　insignificant　to　any　one　else。　You　know　what　it　is　to　be　in　love　with　a　woman；　you　know　how　it　cuts　short　the　days；　and　with　what　loving　listlessness　one　drifts　into　the　morrow。　You　know　that　forgetfulness　of　everything　which　comes　of　a　violent　confident；　reciprocated　love。　Every　being　who　is　not　the　beloved　one　seems　a　useless　being　in　creation。　One　regrets　having　cast　scraps　of　one's　heart　to　other　women；　and　one　can　not　believe　in　the　possibility　of　ever　pressing　another　hand　than　that　which　one　holds　between　one's　hands。　The　mind　admits　neither　work　nor　remembrance；　nothing；　in　short；　which　can　distract　it　from　the　one　thought　in　which　it　is　ceaselessly　absorbed。　Every　day　one　discovers　in　one's　mistress　a　new　charm　and　unknown　delights。　Existence　itself　is　but　the　unceasing　accomplishment　of　an　unchanging　desire；　the　soul　is　but　the　vestal　charged　to　feed　the　sacred　fire　of　love。

We　often　went　at　night…time　to　sit　in　the　little　wood　above　the　house；　there　we　listened　to　the　cheerful　harmonies　of　evening；　both　of　us　thinking　of　the　coming　hours　which　should　leave　us　to　one　another　till　the　dawn　of　day。　At　other　times　we　did　not　get　up　all　day；　we　did　not　even　let　the　sunlight　enter　our　room。

The　curtains　were　hermetically　closed；　and　for　a　moment　the　external　world　did　not　exist　for　us。　Nanine　alone　had　the　right　to　open　our　door；　but　only　to　bring　in　our　meals　and　even　these　we　took　without　getting　up；　interrupting　them　with　laughter　and　gaiety。　To　that　succeeded　a　brief　sleep；　for；　disappearing　into　the　depths　of　our　love；　we　were　like　two　divers　who　only　come　to　the　surface　to　take　breath。

Nevertheless；　I　surprised　moments　of　sadness；　even　tears；　in　Marguerite；　I　asked　her　the　cause　of　her　trouble；　and　she　answered：

〃Our　love　is　not　like　other　loves；　my　Armand。　You　love　me　as　if　I　had　never　belonged　to　another；　and　I　tremble　lest　later　on；　repenting　of　your　love；　and　accusing　me　of　my　past；　you　should　let　me　fall　back　into　that　life　from　which　you　have　taken　me。　I　think　that　now　that　I　have　tasted　of　another　life；　I　should　die　if　I　went　back　to　the　old　one。　Tell　me　that　you　will　never　leave　me！〃

〃I　swear　it！〃

At　these　words　she　looked　at　me　as　if　to　read　in　my　eyes　whether　my　oath　was　sincere；　then　flung　herself　into　my　arms；　and；　hiding　her　head　in　my　bosom；　said　to　me：　〃You　don't　know　how　much　I　love　you！〃

One　evening；　seated　on　the　balcony　outside　the　window；　we　looked　at　the　moon　which　seemed　to　rise　with　difficulty　out　of　its　bed　of　clouds；　and　we　listened　to　the　wind　violently　rustling　the　trees；　we　held　each　other's　hands；　and　for　a　whole　quarter　of　an　hour　we　had　not　spoken；　when　Marguerite　said　to　me：

〃Winter　is　at　hand。　Would　you　like　for　us　to　go　abroad？〃

〃Where？〃

〃To　Italy。〃

〃You　are　tired　of　here？〃

〃I　am　afraid　of　the　winter；　I　am　particularly　afraid　of　your　return　to　Paris。〃

〃Why？〃

〃For　many　reasons。〃

And　she　went　on　abruptly；　without　giving　me　her　reasons　for　fears：

〃Will　you　go　abroad？　I　will　sell　all　that　I　have；　we　will　go　and　live　there；　and　there　will　be　nothing　left　of　what　I　was；　no　one　will　know　who　I　am。　Will　you？〃

〃By　all　means；　if　you　like；　Marguerite；　let　us　travel；〃　I　said。　〃But　where　is　the　necessity　of　selling　things　which　you　will　be　glad　of　when　we　return？　I　have　not　a　large　enough　fortune　to　accept　such　a　sacrifice；　but　I　have　enough　for　us　to　be　able　to　travel　splendidly　for　five　or　six　months；　if　that　will　amuse　you　the　least　in　the　world。〃

〃After　all；　no；〃　she　said；　leaving　the　window　and　going　to　sit　down　on　the　sofa　at　the　other　end　of　the　room。　〃Why　should　we　spend　money　abroad？　I　cost　you　enough　already；　here。〃

〃You　reproach　me；　Marguerite；　it　isn't　generous。〃

〃Forgive　me；　my　friend；〃　she　said；　giving　me　her　hand。　〃This　thunder　weather　gets　on　my　nerves；　I　do　not　say　what　I　intend　to　say。〃

And　after　embracing　me　she　fell　into　a　long　reverie。

Scenes　of　this　kind　often　took　place；　and　though　I　could　not　discover　their　cause；　I　could　not　fail　to　see　in　Marguerite　signs　of　disquietude　in　regard　to　the　future。　She　could　not　doubt　my　love；　which　increased　day　by　day；　and　yet　I　often　found　her　sad；　without　being　able　to　get　any　explanation　of　the　reason；　except　some　physical　cause。　Fearing　that　so　monotonous　a　life　was　beginning　to　weary　her；　I　proposed　returning　to　Paris；　but　she　always　refused；　assuring　me　that　she　could　not　be　so　happy　anywhere　as　in　the　country。

Prudence　now　came　but　rarely；　but　she　often　wrote　letters　which　I　never　asked　to　see；　though；　every　time　they　came；　they　seemed　to　preoccupy　Marguerite　deeply。　I　did　not　know　what　to　think。

One　day　Marguerite　was　in　her　room。　I　entered。　She　was　writing。　〃To　whom　are　you　writing？〃　I　asked。　〃To　Prudence。　Do　you　want　to　see　what　I　am　writing？〃

I　had　a　horror　of　anything　that　might　look　like　suspicion；　and　I　answered　that　I　had　no　desire　to　know　what　she　was　writing；　and　yet　I　was　certain　that　letter　would　have　explained　to　me　the　cause　of　her　sadness。

Next　day　the　weather　was　splendid。'　Marguerite　proposed　to　me　to　take　the　boat　and　go　as　far　as　the　island　of　Croissy。　She　seemed　very　cheerful；　when　we　got　back　it　was　five　o'clock。

〃Mme。　Duvernoy　has　been　here；〃　said　Nanine；　as　she　saw　us　enter。　〃She　has　gone　again？〃　asked　Marguerite。

〃Yes；　madame；　in　the　carriage；　she　said　it　was　arranged。〃

〃Quite　right；〃　said　Marguerite　sharply。　〃Serve　the　dinner。〃

Two　days　afterward　there　came　a　letter　from　Prudence；　and　for　a　fortnight　Marguerite　seemed　to　have　got　rid　of　her　mysterious　gloom；　for　which　she　constantly　asked　my　forgiveness；　now　that　it　no　longer　existed。　Still；　the　carriage　did　not　return。

〃How　is　it　that　Prudence　does　not　send　you　back　your　carriage？〃　I　asked　one　day。

〃One　of　the　horses　is　ill；　and　there　are　some　repairs　to　be　done。　It　is　better　to　have　that　done　while　we　are　here；　and　don't　need　a　carriage；　than　to　wait　till　we　get　back　to　Paris。〃

Prudence　came　two　days　afterward；　and　confirmed　what　Marguerite　had　said。　The　two　women　went　for　a　walk　in　the　garden；　and　when　I　joined　them　they　changed　the　conversation。　That　night；　as　she　was　going；　Prudence　complained　of　the　cold　and　asked　Marguerite　to　lend　her　a　shawl。

So　a　month　passed；　and　all　the　time　Marguerite　was　more　joyous　and　more　affectionate　than　she　ever　had　been。　Nevertheless；　the　carriage　did　not　return；　the　shawl　had　not　been　sent　back；　and　I　began　to　be　anxious　in　spite　of　myself；　and　as　I　knew　in　which　drawer　Marguerite　put　Prudence's　letters；　I　took　advantage　of　a　moment　when　she　was　at　the　other　end　of　the　garden；　went　to　the　drawer；　and　tried　to　open　it；　in　vain；　for　it　was　locked。　When　I　opened　the　drawer　in　which　the　trinkets　and　diamonds　were　usually　kept；　these　opened　without　resistance；　but　the　jewel　cases　had　disappeared；　along　with　their　contents　no　doubt。

A　sharp　fear　penetrated　my　heart。　I　might　indeed　ask　Marguerite　for　the　truth　in　regard　to　these　disappearances；　but　it　was　certain　that　she　would　not　confess　it。

〃My　good　Marguerite；〃　I　said　to　her；　〃I　am　going　to　ask　your　permission　to　go　to　Paris。　They　do　not　know　my　address；　and　I　expect　there　are　letters　from　my　father　waiting　for　me。　I　have　no　doubt　he　is　concerned；　I　ought　to　answer　him。〃

〃Go；　my　friend；〃　she　said；　〃but　be　back　early。〃　I　went　straight　to　Prudence。

〃Come；〃　said　I；　without　beating　about　the　bush；　〃tell　me　frankly；　where　are　Marguerite's　horses？〃

〃Sold。〃

〃The　shawl？〃

〃Sold。〃

〃The　diamonds？〃

〃Pawned。〃

〃And　who　has　sold　and　pawned　them？〃

〃Why　did　you　not　tell　me？〃

〃Because　Marguerite　made　me　promise　not　to。〃

〃And　why　did　you　not　ask　me　for　money？〃

〃Because　she　wouldn't　let　me。〃

〃And　where　has　this　money　gone？〃

〃In　payments。〃

〃Is　she　much　in　debt？〃

〃Thirty　thousand　francs；　or　thereabouts。　Ah；　my　dear　fellow；　didn't　I　tell　you？　You　wouldn't　believe　me；　now　you　are　convinced。　The　upholsterer　whom　the　duke　had　agreed　to　settle　with　was　shown　out　of　the　house　when　he　presented　himself；　and　the　duke　wrote　next　day　to　say　that　he　would　answer　for　nothing　in　regard　to　Mlle。　Gautier。　This　man　wanted　his　money；　he　was　given　part　payment　out　of　the　few　thousand　francs　that　I　got　from　you；　then　some　kind　souls　warned　him　that　his　debtor　had　been　abandoned　by　the　duke　and　was　living　with　a　penniless　young　man；　the　other　creditors　were　told　the　same；　they　asked　for　their　money；　and　seized　some　of　the　goods。　Marguerite　wanted　to　sell　everything；　but　it　was　too　late；　and　besides　I　should　have　opposed　it。　But　it　was　necessary　to　pay；　and　in　order　not　to　ask　you　for　money；　she　sold　her　horses　and　her　shawls；　and　pawned　her　jewels。　Would　you　like　to　see　the　receipts　and　the　pawn　tickets？〃

And　Prudence　opened　the　drawer　and　showed　me　the　papers。

〃Ah；　you　think；〃　she　continued；　with　the　insistence　of　a　woman　who　can　say；　I　was　right　after　all；　〃ah；　you　think　it　is　enough　to　be　in　love；　and　to　go　into　the　country　and　lead　a　dreamy；　pastoral　life。　No；　my　friend；　no。　By　th