left him for that night； and returned to visite him againe the verie
next morning； by which time； he had made a reservation of his Water；
and sent it by a young Damosell unto Maister Doctor； who dwelt then in
the olde market place； at the signe of the Muske Mellone。 Then saide
Bruno unto his Companions； Abide you heere to keepe him company； and I
will walke along to the Physitian； to understand what he will say： and
if neede be； I can procure him to come hither with me。 Calandrino very
kindely accepted his offer； saying withall。 Well Bruno； thou shewst
thy selfe a friend in the time of necessity； I pray thee know of
him； how the case stands with me； for I feele a very strange
alteration within mee； far beyond all compasse of my conceite。
Bruno being gone to the Physitian； he made such expedition； that
he arrived there before the Damosell； who carried the Water； and
informed Master Simon with the whole tricke intended： wherefore；
when the Damosell was come； and hee had passed his judgement
concerning the water； he said to her。
Maide； go home againe； and tell Calandrino； that he must keep
himselfe very warme： and I my selfe will instantly be with him； to
enstruct him further in the quality of his sicknesse。
The Damosell delivered her message accordingly； and it was not
long before Mayster Doctor Simon came； with Bruno also in his company；
and sitting downe on the beds side by Calandrino； hee began to taste
his pulse； and within a small while after； his Wife being come into
the Chamber； he said。 Observe me well Calandrino； for I speake to thee
in the nature of a true friend； thou hast no other disease； but only
thou art great with child。
So soone as Calandrino heard these words； in dispairing manner he
beganne to rage； and cry out aloud； saying to his wife Ah thou
wicked woman； this is long of thee； and thou hast done me this
mischeefe for alwayes thou wilt be upon me； ever railing at mee； and
fighting； untill thou hast gotten me under thee。 Say thou divellish
creature； do I not tell thee true？ The Woman； being of verie honest
and civill conversation； hearing her husband speake so foolishly：
blushing with shame； and hanging downe her head in bashfull manner；
without returning any answer； went forth of her Chamber。
Calandrino continuing still in his angry humour； wringing his hands；
and beating them upon his breast； said： Wretched man that I am； What
shall I do？ How shal I be delivered of this child？ Which way can it
come from me into the world？ I plainly perceyve； that I am none
other then a dead man； and all through the wickednesse of my Wife：
heaven plague her with as many mischiefes； as I am desirous to finde
ease。 Were I now in as good health； as heere…tofore I have beene； I
would rise out of my bed； and never cease beating her； untill I had
broken her in a thousand peeces。 But if Fortune will be so
favourable to me； as to helpe mee out of this dangerous agony： hang
me； if ever she get me under her againe； or make me such an Asse； in
having the mastery over mee； as diuers times she hath done。
Bruno； Buffalmaco and Nello； hearing these raving speeches of
Calandrino； were swolne so bigge with laughter； as if their ribbes
would have burst in sunder； neverthelesse； they abstained so well as
they were able； but Doctor Simon gaped so wide with laughing as one
might easily have pluckt out all his teeth。 In the end； because he
could tarry there no longer； but was preparing to depart： Calandrino
thanked him for his paines； requesting that hee would be carefull of
him； in aiding him with his best advise and counsell； and he would not
be unmindfull of him。 Honest neighbour Calandrino； answered the
Phisition； I would not have you to torment your selfe； in such an
impatient and tempestuous manner； because I perceive the time so to
hasten on； as we shall soone perceive （and that within very few
dayes space） your health well restored； and without the sense of
much paine； but indeed it wil cost expences。 Alas Sir； said
Calandrino； mak not any spare of my purse； to procure that I may
have safe deliverance。 I have two hundred Florines； lately falne to me
by the death of mine Aunt； wherewith I intended to purchase a Farme in
the Countrey： take them all if need be； onely reserving some few for
my lying in Childbed。 And then Master Doctor； Alas； I know not how
to behave my selfe； for I have heard the grievous complaint of women
in that case； oppressed with bitter pangs and throwes； as
questionlesse they will bee my death； except you have the greater care
of me。
Be of good cheere neighbour Calandrino； replyed Doctor Simon； I will
provide an excellent distilled drinke for you； marveilously pleasing
in taste； and of soveraigne vertue； which will resolve all in three
mornings； making you as whole and as sound as a Fish newly spawned。
But you must have an especiall care afterward； being providently wise；
least you fall into the like follies againe。 Concerning the
preparation of this precious drinke； halfe a dozen of Capons； the very
fairest and fattest； I must make use of in the distillation： what
other things shall bee imployed beside； you may deliver forty Florines
to one of these your honest friends； to see all the necessaries bought
and sent me home to my house。 Concerning my businesse； make you no
doubt thereof； for I will have all distilled against to morrow； and
then doe you drinke a great Glasse full every morning； fresh and
fasting next your heart。 Calandrino was highly pleased with his words；
returning master Doctor infinite thankes； and referring all to his
disposing。 And having given forty Florines to Bruno； with other
money beside； to buy the halfe dozen of Capons： he thought himselfe
greatly beholding to them all； and protested to requite their
kindenesse。
Master Doctor being gone home to his house； made ready a bottel of
very excellent Hypocrasse； which he sent the next day according to his
promise： and Bruno having bought the Capons； with other junkets； fit
for the turne； the Phisitian and his merry Companions； fed on them
hartely for the givers sake。 As for Calandrino； he liked his dyet
drinke excellently well； quaffing a large Glassefull off three
mornings together： afterward Master Doctor and the rest came to see
him； and having felt his pulse； the Phisition said。 Calandrino； thou
art now as sound in health； as any man in all Florence can be： thou
needest not to keepe within doores any longer； but walke abroad
boldly； for all is well and the childe gone。
Calandrino arose like a joyfull man； and walked daily through the
streets； in the performance of such affaires as belonged to him： and
every acquaintance he met withall； he told the condition of his sudden
sickenesse； and what a rare cure Master Doctor Simon had wrought on
him； delivering him （in three dayes space） of a childe； and without
the feeling of any paine。 Bruno； Buffalmaco； and Nello； were not a
little jocond； for meeting so well with covetous Calandrino： but how
the Wife liked the folly of her Husband； I leave to the judgement of
all good Women。
THE NINTH DAY； THE FOURTH NOVELL
SERVING AS AN ADMONITION TO ALL MEN； FOR TAKING GAMESTERS
AND DRUNKARDS INTO THEIR SERVICE
Francesco Fortarigo； played away all that he had at Buonconvento；
and likewise the money of Francesco Aniolliero； being his Master。 Then
running after him in his shirt； and avouching that hee had robbed him：
he caused him to be taken by Pezants of the Country； clothed
himselfe in his Masters wearing garments； and （mounted on his horse）
rode thence to Sienna； leaving Aniolliero in his shirt； and walked
barefooted。
The ridiculous words given by Calandrino to his Wife； all the
whole company hartily laughed at： but a Philostratus ceassing；
Madame Neiphila （as it pleased the Queene to appoint） began to
speake thus。 Vertuous Ladies； if it were not more hard and uneasie for
men； to make good their understanding and vertue； then apparant
publication of their disgrace and folly； many would not labour in
vaine； to curbe in their idle speeches with a bridle； as you have
manifestly observed by the weake wit of Calandrino。 Who needed no such
fantastick circumstance； to cure the strange disease； which he
imagined （by sottish perswasions） to have： had hee not been so
lavish of his tongue； and accused his Wife of overmastering him。 Which
maketh me remember a Novell； quite contrary to this last related；
namely； how one man may strive to surmount another in malice； yet he
to sustaine the greater harme； that had （at the first） the most
advantage of his enemy； as I will presently declare unto you。
There dwelt in Sienna； and not many yeeres since； two young men of
equall age； both of them bearing the name of Francesco： but the one
was descended of the Aniollieri； and the other likewise of the
Fortarigi； so that they were commonly called Aniolliero； and
Fortarigo； both Gentlemen； and well derived。 Now； although in many
other matters； their complexions did differ very much： Yet
notwithstanding； they varied not in one bad qualitie； namely too great
neglect of their Fathers； which caused their more frequent
conversation； as very familiar and respective friends。 But
Aniolliero （being a very goodly and faire conditioned young Gentleman）
apparently perceiving； that he could not maintaine himselfe at Sienna；
in such estate as he liked； and upon the pension allowed him by his
Father； hearing also； that at the Marquisate of Ancona； there lived
the Popes Legate； a worthy Cardinall； his much indeared good Lord
and friend： he intended to goe visite him； as hoping to advance his
fortunes by him。
Having acquainted his Father with this determination； he concluded
with him； to have that from him in a moment which might supply his
wants because he would be clothed gallantly； and mounted honourably。
And seeking for a servant necessary to attend on him； it chanced
that Fortarigo hearing thereof； came presently to Aniolliero；
intreating him in the best manner he could； to let him waite on him as
his serving man； promising both dutiful and diligent attendance： yet
not to deaund any other wages； but onely payment of his ordinary