a dead silence for getting one's off…hand sweetheart into a corner；
there is nothing like prematurely ending it for getting into that
corner one's self。
'Now won't I punish him for daring to stay away so long！' she
exclaimed as soon as she got upstairs。 'It is as bad to show
constancy in your manners as fickleness in your heart at such a time
as this。'
'But I thought honesty was the best policy？' said Picotee。
'So it is； for the man's purpose。 But don't you go believing in
sayings； Picotee： they are all made by men； for their own
advantages。 Women who use public proverbs as a guide through events
are those who have not ingenuity enough to make private ones as each
event occurs。'
She sat down； and rapidly wrote a line to Mr。 Julian：
'EXONBURY CRESCENT。
'I return from Mayfair Hall to find you have called。 You will； I
know； be good enough to forgive my saying what seems an unfriendly
thing； when I assure you that the circumstances of my peculiar
situation make it desirable； if not necessary。 It is that I beg you
not to give me the pleasure of a visit from you for some little
time； for unhappily the frequency of your kind calls has been
noticed； and I am now in fear that we may be talked about
invidiouslyto the injury of us both。 The town； or a section of
it； has turned its bull's…eye upon me with a brightness which I did
not in the least anticipate； and you will； I am sure； perceive how
indispensable it is that I should be circumspect。Yours sincerely；
E。 PETHERWIN。'
21。 A STREET … NEIGH'S ROOMS … CHRISTOPHER'S ROOMS
As soon as Ethelberta had driven off from the Hall； Ladywell turned
back again； and； passing the front entrance； overtook his
acquaintance Mr。 Neigh； who had been one of the last to emerge。 The
two were going in the same direction； and they walked a short
distance together。
'Has anything serious happened？' said Neigh； noticing an abstraction
in his companion。 'You don't seem in your usual mood to…night。'
'O； it is only that affair between us；' said Ladywell。
'Affair？ Between you and whom？'
'Her and myself； of course。 It will be in every fellow's mouth now；
I suppose！'
'Butnot anything between yourself and Mrs。 Petherwin？'
'A mere nothing。 But surely you started； Neigh； when you suspected
it just this moment？'
'Noyou merely fancied that。'
'Did she not speak well to…night！ You were in the room； I believe？'
'Yes； I just turned in for half…an…hour： it seems that everybody
does； so I thought I must。 But I had no idea that you were feeble
that way。'
'It is very kind of you； Neighupon my word it isvery kind； and
of course I appreciate the delicacy whichwhich'
'What's kind？'
'I mean your well…intentioned plan for making me believe that
nothing is known of this。 But stories will of course get wind； and
if our attachment has made more noise in the world than I intended
it should； and causes any public interest； whyha…ha！it must。
There is some little romance in it perhaps； and people will talk of
matters of that sort between individuals of any reputelittle as
that is with one of the pair。'
'Of course they willof course。 You are a rising man； remember；
whom some day the world will delight to honour。'
'Thank you for that； Neigh。 Thank you sincerely。'
'Not at all。 It is merely justice to say it； and one must he
generous to deserve thanks。'
'Ha…ha！that's very nicely put； and undeserved I am sure。 And yet
I need a word of that sort sometimes！'
'Genius is proverbially modest。'
'Pray don't； NeighI don't deserve it； indeed。 Of course it is
well meant in you to recognize any slight powers； but I don't
deserve it。 Certainly； my self…assurance was never too great。 'Tis
the misfortune of all children of art that they should be so
dependent upon any scraps of praise they can pick up to help them
along。'
'And when that child gets so deep in love that you can only see the
whites of his eyes'
'Ahnow； Neighdon't； I say！'
'But why did'
'Why did I love her？'
'Yes； why did you love her？'
'Ah； if I could only turn self…vivisector； and watch the operation
of my heart； I should know！'
'My dear fellow； you must be very bad indeed to talk like that。 A
poet himself couldn't be cleaner gone。'
'Now； don't chaff； Neigh； do anything； but don't chaff。 You know
that I am the easiest man in the world for taking it at most times。
But I can't stand it now； I don't feel up to it。 A glimpse of
paradise； and then perdition。 What would you do； Neigh？'
'She has refused you； then？'
'Wellnot positively refused me； but it is so near it that a dull
man couldn't tell the difference。 I hardly can myself。'
'How do you really stand with her？' said Neigh； with an anxiety ill…
concealed。
'Off and onneither one thing nor the other。 I was determined to
make an effort the last time she sat to me； and so I met her quite
coolly； and spoke only of technicalities with a forced smileyou
know that way of mine for drawing people out； eh； Neigh？'
'Quite； quite。'
'A forced smile； as much as to say； 〃I am obliged to entertain you；
but as a mere model for art purposes。〃 But the deuce a bit did she
care。 And then I frequently looked to see what time it was； as the
end of the sitting drew nearrather a rude thing to do； as a rule。'
'Of course。 But that was your finesse。 Ha…ha！capital！ Yet why
not struggle against such slavery？ It is regularly pulling you
down。 What's a woman's beauty； after all？'
'Well you may say so！ A thing easier to feel than define；' murmured
Ladywell。 'But it's no use； NeighI can't help it as long as she
repulses me so exquisitely！ If she would only care for me a little；
I might get to trouble less about her。'
'And love her no more than one ordinarily does a girl by the time
one gets irrevocably engaged to her。 But I suppose she keeps you
back so thoroughly that you carry on the old adoration with as much
vigour as if it were a new fancy every time？'
'Partly yes； and partly no！ It's very true； and it's not true！'
''Tis to be hoped she won't hate you outright； for then you would
absolutely die of idolizing her。'
'Don't； Neigh！Still there's some truth in itsuch is the
perversity of our hearts。 Fancy marrying such a woman！'
'We should feel as eternally united to her after years and years of
marriage as to a dear new angel met at last night's dance。'
'Exactlyjust what I should have said。 But did I hear you say
〃We；〃 Neigh？ You didn't say 〃WE should feel？〃'
'Say 〃we〃？yesof courseputting myself in your place just in the
way of speaking； you know。'
'Of course； of course； but one is such a fool at these times that
one seems to detect rivalry in every trumpery sound！ Were you never
a little touched？'
'Not I。 My heart is in the happy position of a country which has no
history or debt。'
'I suppose I should rejoice to hear it；' said Ladywell。 'But the
consciousness of a fellow…sufferer being in just such another hole
is such a relief always； and softens the sense of one's folly so
very much。'
'There's less Christianity in that sentiment than in your confessing
to it； old fellow。 I know the truth of it nevertheless； and that's
why married men advise others to marry。 Were all the world tied up；
the pleasantly tied ones would be equivalent to those at present
free。 But what if your fellow…sufferer is not only in another such
a hole； but in the same one？'
'No； Neighnever！ Don't trifle with a friend who'
'That is； refused like yourself； as well as in love。'
'Ah； thanks； thanks！ It suddenly occurred to me that we might be
dead against one another as rivals； and a friendship of many long
days be snapped like alike a reed。'
'Nonoonly a jest；' said Neigh； with a strangely accelerated
speech。 'Love…making is an ornamental pursuit that matter…of…fact
fellows like me are quite unfit for。 A man must have courted at
least half…a…dozen women before he's a match for one； and since
triumph lies so far ahead； I shall keep out of the contest
altogether。'
'Your life would be pleasanter if you were engaged。 It is a nice
thing； after all。'
'It is。 The worst of it would be that； when the time came for
breaking it off； a fellow might get into an action for breachwomen
are so fond of that sort of thing now； and I hate love…affairs that
don't end peaceably！'
'But end it by peaceably marrying； my dear fellow！'
'It would seem so singular。 Besides； I have a horror of antiquity：
and you see； as long as a man keeps single； he belongs in a measure
to the rising generation； however old he may be； but as soon as he
marries and has children； he belongs to the last generation； however
young he may be。 Old Jones's son is a deal younger than young
Brown's father； though they are both the same age。'
'At any rate； honest courtship cures a man of many evils he had no
power to stem before。'
'By substituting an incurable matrimony！'
'Ahtwo persons must have a mind for that before it can happen！'
said Ladywell； sorrowfully shaking his head。
'I think you'll find that if one has a mind for it； it will be quite
sufficient。 But here we are at my rooms。 Come in for half…an…
hour？'
'Not to…night； thanks！'
They parted； and Neigh went in。 When he got upstairs he murmured in
his deepest chest note； 'O； lords； that I should come to this！ But
I shall never be such a fool as to marry her！ What a flat that poor
young devil was not to discover that we were tarred with the same
brush。 O； the deuce； the deuce！' he continued； walking about the
room as if passionately stamping； but not quite doing it because
another man had rooms below。
Neigh drew from his pocket…book an envelope embossed with the name
of a fashionable photographer； and out of this pulled a portrait of
the lady who had； in fact； enslaved his secret self equally with his
frank young friend the painter。 After contemplating it awhile with
a face of cynical adoration； he murmured； shaking his head； 'Ah； my
lady； if you only knew this； I should be snapped up like a snail！
Not a minute's peace for me till I had married you。 I wo