had been thinking you would not come。'
While these words were being prettily spoken； Ladywell's face became
pale as death。 On Ethelberta's bosom were the stem and green calyx
of a rose； almost all its flower having disappeared。 It had been a
Harlequin rose； for two or three of its striped leaves remained to
tell the tale。
She could not help noticing his fixed gaze； and she said quickly；
'Yes； I have lost my pretty rose： this may as well go now；' and she
plucked the stem from its fastening in her dress and flung it away。
Poor Ladywell turned round to meet Mr。 and Mrs。 Belmaine； whose
voices were beginning to be heard just within the church door；
leaving Neigh and Ethelberta together。 It was a graceful act of
young Ladywell's that； in the midst of his own pain at the strange
tale the rose…leaves suggestedNeigh's rivalry； Ethelberta's
mutability； his own defeathe was not regardless of the intense
embarrassment which might have been caused had he remained。
The two were silent at first； and it was evident that Ethelberta's
mood was one of anger at something that had gone before。 She turned
aside from him to follow the others； when Neigh spoke in a tone
somewhat bitter and somewhat stern。
'Whatgoing like that！ After being compromised together； why don't
you close with me？ Ladywell knows all： I had already told him that
the rose…leaves were given me by my intended wife。 We seem to him
to be practising deceptions all of a piece； and what folly it is to
play off so！ As to what I did； that I ask your forgiveness for。'
Ethelberta looked upon the ground and maintained a compressed lip。
Neigh resumed： 'If I showed more feeling than you care for； I
insist that it was not more than was natural under the
circumstances； if not quite proper。 Opinions may differ； but my
experience goes to prove that conventional squeamishness at such
times as these is more talked and written about than practised。
Plain behaviour must be expected when marriage is the question。
Nevertheless； I do sayand I cannot say morethat I am sincerely
sorry to have offended you by exceeding my privileges。 I will never
do so again。'
'Don't say privileges。 You have none。'
'I am sorry that I thought otherwise； and that others will think so
too。 Ladywell is； at any rate； bent on thinking so。 。 。 。 It might
have been made known to him in a gentle waybut God disposes。'
'There is nothing to make knownI don't understand；' said
Ethelberta； going from him。
By this time Ladywell had walked round the gravel walks with the two
other ladies and Mr。 Belmaine； and they were all turning to come
back again。 The young painter had deputed his voice to reply to
their remarks； but his understanding continued poring upon other
things。 When he came up to Ethelberta； his agitation had left him：
she too was free from constraint； while Neigh was some distance off；
carefully examining nothing in particular in an old fragment of
wall。
The little party was now united again as to its persons； though in
spirit far otherwise。 They went through the church in general talk；
Ladywell sad but serene； and Ethelberta keeping far…removed both
from him and from Neigh。 She had at this juncture entered upon that
Sphinx…like stage of existence in which； contrary to her earlier
manner； she signified to no one of her ways； plans； or sensations；
and spoke little on any subject at all。 There were occasional
smiles now which came only from the face； and speeches from the lips
merely。
The journey home was performed as they had come； Ladywell not
accepting the seat in Neigh's cab which was phlegmatically offered
him。 Mrs。 Doncastle's acquaintance with Ethelberta had been slight
until this day； but the afternoon's proceeding had much impressed
the matron with her younger friend。 Before they parted she said；
with the sort of affability which is meant to signify the beginning
of permanent friendship： 'A friend of my husband's； Lord
Mountclere； has been anxious for some time to meet you。 He is a
great admirer of the poems； and more still of the story…telling
invention； and your power in it。 He has been present many times at
the Mayfair Hall to hear you。 When will you dine with us to meet
him？ I know you will like him。 Will Thursday be convenient？'
Ethelberta stood for a moment reflecting； and reflecting hoped that
Mrs。 Doncastle had not noticed her momentary perplexity。 Crises
were becoming as common with her as blackberries； and she had
foreseen this one a long time。 It was not that she was to meet Lord
Mountclere； for he was only a name and a distant profile to her： it
was that her father would necessarily be present at the meeting； in
the most anomalous position that human nature could endure。
However； having often proved in her disjointed experience that the
shortest way out of a difficulty lies straight through it；
Ethelberta decided to dine at the Doncastles'； and； as she murmured
that she should have great pleasure in meeting any friend of theirs；
set about contriving how the encounter with her dearest relative
might be made safe and unsuspected。 She bade them adieu blithely；
but the thoughts engendered by the invitation stood before her as
sorrowful and rayless ghosts which could not be laid。 Often at such
conjunctures as these； when the futility of her great undertaking
was more than usually manifest； did Ethelberta long like a tired
child for the conclusion of the whole matter； when her work should
be over； and the evening come； when she might draw her boat upon the
shore； and in some thymy nook await eternal night with a placid
mind。
28。 ETHELBERTA'S … MR。 CHICKEREL'S ROOM
The question of Neigh or no Neigh had reached a pitch of insistence
which no longer permitted of dallying； even by a popular beauty。
His character was becoming defined to Ethelberta as something very
differently composed from that of her first imagining。 She had set
him down to be a man whose external in excitability owed nothing to
self…repression； but stood as the natural surface of the mass
within。 Neigh's urban torpor； she said； might have been in the
first instance produced by art； but； were it thus； it had gone so
far as to permeate him。 This had been disproved； first
surprisingly； by his reported statement； wondrously； in the second
place； by his call upon her and sudden proposal； thirdly； to a
degree simply astounding； by what had occurred in the city that day。
For Neigh； before the fervour had subsided which was produced in him
by her look and general power while reading 'Paradise Lost；' found
himself alone with her in a nook outside the church； and there had
almost demanded her promise to be his wife。 She had replied by
asking for time； and idly offering him the petals of her rose； that
had shed themselves in her hand。 Neigh； in taking them； pressed her
fingers more warmly than she thought she had given him warrant for；
which offended her。 It was certainly a very momentary affair； and
when it was over seemed to surprise himself almost as much as it had
vexed her； but it had reminded her of one truth which she was in
danger of forgetting。 The town gentleman was not half so far
removed from Sol and Dan； and the hard…handed order in general； in
his passions as in his philosophy。 He still continued to be the
male of his species； and when the heart was hot with a dream Pall
Mall had much the same aspect as Wessex。
Well； she had not accepted him yet； indeed； for the moment they were
in a pet with one another。 Yet that might soon be cleared off； and
then recurred the perpetual question； would the advantage that might
accrue to her people by her marriage be worth the sacrifice？ One
palliative feature must be remembered when we survey the matrimonial
ponderings of the poetess and romancer。 What she contemplated was
not meanly to ensnare a husband just to provide incomes for her and
her family； but to find some man she might respect； who would
maintain her in such a stage of comfort as should； by setting her
mind free from temporal anxiety； enable her to further organize her
talent； and provide incomes for them herself。 Plenty of saleable
originality was left in her as yet； but it was getting crushed under
the rubbish of her necessities。
She was not sure that Neigh would stand the test of her revelations。
It would be possible to lead him to marry her without revealing
anythingthe events of the last few days had shown her thatyet
Ethelberta's honesty shrank from the safe course of holding her
tongue。 It might be pleasant to many a modern gentleman to find
himself allied with a lady； none of whose ancestors had ever
pandered to a court； lost an army； taken a bribe； oppressed a
community； or broken a bank； but the added disclosure that； in
avoiding these stains； her kindred had worked and continued to work
with their hands for bread； might lead such an one to consider that
the novelty was dearly purchased。
Ethelberta was； upon the whole； dissatisfied with her progress thus
far。 She had planned many things and fulfilled few。 Had her father
been by this time provided for and made independent of the world； as
she had thought he might be； not only would her course with regard
to Neigh be quite clear； but the impending awkwardness of dining
with her father behind her chair could not have occurred。 True；
that was a small matter beside her regret for his own sake that he
was still in harness； and a mere change of occupation would be but a
tribute to a fastidiousness which he did not himself share。 She had
frequently tried to think of a vocation for him that would have a
more dignified sound； and be less dangerously close to her own path：
the post of care…taker at some provincial library； country
stationer； registrar of births and deaths； and many others had been
discussed and dismissed in face of the unmanageable fact that her
father was serenely happy and comfortable as a butler； looking with
dread at any hint of change short of perfect retirement。 Since；
then； she could not offer him this retirement； what right had she to
interfere with his mode of life at all？ In no other social groove
on earth would he thrive as he throve