father goriot(高老头)- 第29部分

〃I　wish　that　you　were　altogether　mine；〃　said　Eugene；　〃you　are　charming。〃

〃You　would　have　a　forlorn　piece　of　property；〃　she　said；　smiling　bitterly。　〃There　is　nothing　about　me　that　betrays　my　wretchedness；　and　yet；　in　spite　of　appearances；　I　am　in　despair。　I　cannot　sleep；　my　troubles　have　broken　my　night's　rest；　I　shall　grow　ugly。〃

〃Oh！　that　is　impossible；〃　cried　the　law　student；　〃but　I　am　curious　to　know　what　these　troubles　can　be　that　a　devoted　love　cannot　efface。〃

〃Ah！　if　I　were　to　tell　you　about　them；　you　would　shun　me；〃　she　said。　〃Your　love　for　me　is　as　yet　only　the　conventional　gallantry　that　men　use　to　masquerade　in；　and；　if　you　really　loved　me；　you　would　be　driven　to　despair。　I　must　keep　silence；　you　see。　Let　us　talk　of　something　else；　for　pity's　sake；〃　she　added。　〃Let　me　show　you　my　rooms。〃

〃No；　let　us　stay　here；〃　answered　Eugene；　he　sat　down　on　the　sofa　before　the　fire；　and　boldly　took　Mme。　de　Nucingen's　hand　in　his。　She　surrendered　it　to　him；　he　even　felt　the　pressure　of　her　fingers　in　one　of　the　spasmodic　clutches　that　betray　terrible　agitation。

〃Listen；〃　said　Rastignac；　〃if　you　are　in　trouble；　you　ought　to　tell　me　about　it。　I　want　to　prove　to　you　that　I　love　you　for　yourself　alone。　You　must　speak　to　me　frankly　about　your　troubles；　so　that　I　can　put　an　end　to　them；　even　if　I　have　to　kill　half…a…　dozen　men；　or　I　shall　go；　never　to　return。〃

〃Very　well；〃　she　cried；　putting　her　hand　to　her　forehead　in　an　agony　of　despair；　〃I　will　put　you　to　the　proof；　and　this　very　moment。　Yes；〃　she　said　to　herself；　〃I　have　no　other　resource　left。〃

She　rang　the　bell。

〃Are　the　horses　put　in　for　the　master？〃　she　asked　of　the　servant。

〃Yes；　madame。〃

〃I　shall　take　his　carriage　myself。　He　can　have　mine　and　my　horses。　Serve　dinner　at　seven　o'clock。〃

〃Now；　come　with　me；〃　she　said　to　Eugene；　who　thought　as　he　sat　in　the　banker's　carriage　beside　Mme。　de　Nucingen　that　he　must　surely　be　dreaming。

〃To　the　Palais…Royal；〃　she　said　to　the　coachman；　〃stop　near　the　Theatre…Francais。〃

She　seemed　to　be　too　troubled　and　excited　to　answer　the　innumerable　questions　that　Eugene　put　to　her。　He　was　at　a　loss　what　to　think　of　her　mute　resistance；　her　obstinate　silence。

〃Another　moment　and　she　will　escape　me；〃　he　said　to　himself。

When　the　carriage　stopped　at　last；　the　Baroness　gave　the　law　student　a　glance　that　silenced　his　wild　words；　for　he　was　almost　beside　himself。

〃Is　it　true　that　you　love　me？〃　she　asked。

〃Yes；〃　he　answered；　and　in　his　manner　and　tone　there　was　no　trace　of　the　uneasiness　that　he　felt。

〃You　will　not　think　ill　of　me；　will　you；　whatever　I　may　ask　of　you？〃

〃No。〃

〃Are　you　ready　to　do　my　bidding？〃

〃Blindly。〃

〃Have　you　ever　been　to　a　gaming…house？〃　she　asked　in　a　tremulous　voice。

〃Never。〃

〃Ah！　now　I　can　breathe。　You　will　have　luck。　Here　is　my　purse；〃　she　said。　〃Take　it！　there　are　a　hundred　francs　in　it；　all　that　such　a　fortunate　woman　as　I　can　call　her　own。　Go　up　into　one　of　the　gaming…housesI　do　not　know　where　they　are；　but　there　are　some　near　the　Palais…Royal。　Try　your　luck　with　the　hundred　francs　at　a　game　they　call　roulette；　lose　it　all　or　bring　me　back　six　thousand　francs。　I　will　tell　you　about　my　troubles　when　you　come　back。〃

〃Devil　take　me；　I'm　sure；　if　I　have　a　glimmer　of　a　notion　of　what　I　am　about；　but　I　will　obey　you；〃　he　added；　with　inward　exultation；　as　he　thought；　〃She　has　gone　too　far　to　draw　back　she　can　refuse　me　nothing　now！〃

Eugene　took　the　dainty　little　purse；　inquired　the　way　of　a　second…hand　clothes…dealer；　and　hurried　to　number　9；　which　happened　to　be　the　nearest　gaming…house。　He　mounted　the　staircase；　surrendered　his　hat；　and　asked　the　way　to　the　roulette…table；　whither　the　attendant　took　him；　not　a　little　to　the　astonishment　of　the　regular　comers。　All　eyes　were　fixed　on　Eugene　as　he　asked；　without　bashfulness；　where　he　was　to　deposit　his　stakes。

〃If　you　put　a　louis　on　one　only　of　those　thirty…six　numbers；　and　it　turns　up；　you　will　win　thirty…six　louis；〃　said　a　respectable…　looking；　white…haired　old　man　in　answer　to　his　inquiry。

Eugene　staked　the　whole　of　his　money　on　the　number　21　（his　own　age）。　There　was　a　cry　of　surprise；　before　he　knew　what　he　had　done；　he　had　won。

〃Take　your　money　off；　sir；〃　said　the　old　gentleman；　〃you　don't　often　win　twice　running　by　that　system。〃

Eugene　took　the　rake　that　the　old　man　handed　to　him；　and　drew　in　his　three　thousand　six　hundred　francs；　and；　still　perfectly　ignorant　of　what　he　was　about；　staked　again　on　the　red。　The　bystanders　watched　him　enviously　as　they　saw　him　continue　to　play。　The　disc　turned；　and　again　he　won；　the　banker　threw　him　three　thousand　six　hundred　francs　once　more。

〃You　have　seven　thousand；　two　hundred　francs　of　your　own；〃　the　old　gentleman　said　in　his　ear。　〃Take　my　advice　and　go　away　with　your　winnings；　red　has　turned　up　eight　times　already。　If　you　are　charitable；　you　will　show　your　gratitude　for　sound　counsel　by　giving　a　trifle　to　an　old　prefect　of　Napoleon　who　is　down　on　his　luck。〃

Rastignac's　head　was　swimming；　he　saw　ten　of　his　louis　pass　into　the　white…haired　man's　possession；　and　went　down…stairs　with　his　seven　thousand　francs；　he　was　still　ignorant　of　the　game；　and　stupefied　by　his　luck。

〃So；　that　is　over；　and　now　where　will　you　take　me？〃　he　asked；　as　soon　as　the　door　was　closed；　and　he　showed　the　seven　thousand　francs　to　Mme。　de　Nucingen。

Delphine　flung　her　arms　about　him；　but　there　was　no　passion　in　that　wild　embrace。

〃You　have　saved　me！〃　she　cried；　and　tears　of　joy　flowed　fast。

〃I　will　tell　you　everything；　my　friend。　For　you　will　be　my　friend；　will　you　not？　I　am　rich；　you　think；　very　rich；　I　have　everything　I　want；　or　I　seem　as　if　I　had　everything。　Very　well；　you　must　know　that　M。　de　Nucingen　does　not　allow　me　the　control　of　a　single　penny；　he　pays　all　the　bills　for　the　house　expenses；　he　pays　for　my　carriages　and　opera　box；　he　does　not　give　me　enough　to　pay　for　my　dress；　and　he　reduces　me　to　poverty　in　secret　on　purpose。　I　am　too　proud　to　beg　from　him。　I　should　be　the　vilest　of　women　if　I　could　take　his　money　at　the　price　at　which　he　offers　it。　Do　you　ask　how　I；　with　seven　hundred　thousand　francs　of　my　own；　could　let　myself　be　robbed？　It　is　because　I　was　proud；　and　scorned　to　speak。　We　are　so　young；　so　artless　when　our　married　life　begins！　I　never　could　bring　myself　to　ask　my　husband　for　money；　the　words　would　have　made　my　lips　bleed；　I　did　not　dare　to　ask；　I　spent　my　savings　first；　and　then　the　money　that　my　poor　father　gave　me；　then　I　ran　into　debt。　Marriage　for　me　is　a　hideous　farce；　I　cannot　talk　about　it；　let　it　suffice　to　say　that　Nucingen　and　I　have　separate　rooms；　and　that　I　would　fling　myself　out　of　the　window　sooner　than　consent　to　any　other　manner　of　life。　I　suffered　agonies　when　I　had　to　confess　to　my　girlish　extravagance；　my　debts　for　jewelry　and　trifles　（for　our　poor　father　had　never　refused　us　anything；　and　spoiled　us）；　but　at　last　I　found　courage　to　tell　him　about　them。　After　all；　I　had　a　fortune　of　my　own。　Nucingen　flew　into　a　rage；　he　said　that　I　should　be　the　ruin　of　him；　and　used　frightful　language！　I　wished　myself　a　hundred　feet　down　in　the　earth。　He　had　my　dowry；　so　he　paid　my　debts；　but　he　stipulated　at　the　same　time　that　my　expenses　in　future　must　not　exceed　a　certain　fixed　sum；　and　I　gave　way　for　the　sake　of　peace。　And　then；〃　she　went　on；　〃I　wanted　to　gratify　the　self…love　of　some　one　whom　you　know。　He　may　have　deceived　me；　but　I　should　do　him　the　justice　to　say　that　there　was　nothing　petty　in　his　character。　But；　after　all；　he　threw　me　over　disgracefully。　If；　at　a　woman's　utmost　need；　SOMEBODY　heaps　gold　upon　her；　he　ought　never　to　forsake　her；　that　love　should　last　for　ever！　But　you；　at　one…and…twenty；　you；　the　soul　of　honor；　with　the　unsullied　conscience　of　youth；　will　ask　me　how　a　woman　can　bring　herself　to　accept　money　in　such　a　way？　MON　DIEU！　is　it　not　natural　to　share　everything　with　the　one　to　whom　we　owe　our　happiness？　When　all　has　been　given；　why　should　we　pause　and　hesitate　over　a　part？　Money　is　as　nothing　between　us　until　the　moment　when　the　sentiment　that　bound　us　together　ceases　to　exist。　Were　we　not　bound　to　each　other　for　life？　Who　that　believes　in　love　foresees　such　an　end　to　love？　You　swear　to　love　us　eternally；　how；　then；　can　our　interests　be　separate？

〃You　do　not　know　how　I　suffered　to…day　when　Nucingen　refused　to　give　me　six　thousand　francs；　he　spends　as　much　as　that　every　month　on　his　mistress；　an　opera　dancer！　I　thought　of　killing　myself。　The　wildest　thoughts　came　into　my　head。　There　have　been　moments　in　my　life　when　I　have　envied　my　servants；　and　would　have　changed　places　with　my　maid。　It　was　madness　to　think　of　going　to　our　father；　Anastasie　and　I　have　bled　him　dry；　our　poor　father　would　have　sold　himself　if　he　could　have　raised　six　thousand　francs　that　way。　I　should　have　driven　him　frantic　to　no　purpose。　You　have　saved　me　from　shame　and　death；　I　was　beside　myself　with　anguish。　Ah！　monsieur；　I　owed　you　this　explanation　after　my　mad　ravings。　When　you　left　me　just　now；　as　soon　as　you　were　out　of　sight；　I　longed　to　escape；　to　run　away　。　。　。　where；　I　did　not　know。　Half　the　women　in　Paris　lead　such　lives　as　mine；　they　live　in　apparent　luxury；　and　in　their　souls　are　tormented　by　anxiety。　I　know　of　poor　creatures　even　more　miserable　than　I；　there　are　women　who　are　driven　to　ask　their　tradespeople　to　make　out　false　bills；　women　who　rob　their　husbands。　Some　men　believe　that　an　Indian　shawl　worth　a　thousand　louis　only　cost　five　hundred　francs；　others　that　a　shawl　costing　five　hundred　francs　is　worth　a　hundred　louis。　There　are　women；　too；　with　narrow　incomes；　who　scrape　and　save　and　starve　their　children　to　pay　for　a　dress。　I　am　innocent　of　these　base　meannesses。　But　this　is　the　last　extremity　of　my　torture。　Some　women　will　sell　themselves　to　their　husbands；　and　so　obtain　their　way；　but　I；　at　any　rate；　am　free。　If　I　chose；　Nucingen　would　cover　me　with　gold；　but　I　would　rather　weep　on　the　breast　of　a　man　whom　I　can　respect。　Ah！　tonight；　M。　de　Marsay　will　no　longer　have　a　right　to　think　of　me　as　a　woman　whom　he　has　paid。〃　She　tried　to　conceal　her　tears　from　him；　hiding　her　face　in　her　hands；　Eugene　drew　them　away　and　looked　at　her；　she　seemed　to　him　sublime　at　that　moment。

〃It　is　hideous；　is　it　not；〃　she　cried；　〃to　speak　in　a　br