the story of a pioneer- 第21部分

holding　my　congregation　Brother　Doane　would　bend

toward　me；　following　every　word　I　uttered　with

corresponding　motions　of　his　lips。　　When　I　resigned

we　parted　with　deep　regret；　but　it　was　not　until　I

visited　the　church　several　years　afterward　that　he

overcame　his　reserve　enough　to　tell　me　how　much

he　had　felt　my　going。



‘‘Oh；　did　you？''　I　asked；　greatly　touched。　　‘‘You're

not　saying　that　merely　to　please　me？''



The　old　man's　hand　fell　on　my　shoulder。　　‘‘I　miss

you；''　he　said；　simply。　　‘‘I　miss　you　all　the　time。　

You　see；　I　love　you。''　　Then；　with　precipitate　self…

consciousness；　he　closed　the　door　of　his　New　England

heart；　and　from　some　remote　corner　of　it　sent　out

his　cautious　after…thought。　　‘‘I　love　you；''　he　re…

peated；　primly；　‘‘as　a　sister　in　the　Lord。''



Relief　Paine　lived　in　Brewster。　　Her　name　seemed

prophetic；　and　she　once　told　me　that　she　had　always

considered　it　so。　　Her　brother…in…law　was　my　Sun…

day…school　superintendent；　and　her　family　belonged

to　my　church。　　Very　soon　after　my　arrival　in　East

Dennis　I　went　to　see　her；　and　found　her；　as　she　al…

ways　was；　dressed　in　white　and　lying　on　a　tiny　white

bed　covered　with　pansies；　in　a　room　whose　windows

overlooked　the　sea。　　I　shall　never　forget　the　picture

she　made。　　Over　her　shoulders　was　an　exquisite

white　lace　shawl　brought　from　the　other　side　of　the

world　by　some　seafaring　friend；　and　against　her

white　pillow　her　hair　seemed　the　blackest　I　had

ever　seen。　　When　I　entered　she　turned　and　looked

toward　me　with　wonderful　dark　eyes　that　were　quite

blind；　and　as　she　talked　her　hands　played　with　the

pansies　around　her。　　She　loved　pansies　as　she

loved　few　human　beings；　and　she　knew　their　colors

by　touching　them。　　She　was　then　a　little　more　than

thirty　years　of　age。　　At　sixteen　she　had　fallen　down…

stairs　in　the　dark；　receiving　an　injury　that　paralyzed

her；　and　for　fifteen　years　she　had　lain　on　one　side；

perfectly　still；　the　Stella　Maris　of　the　Cape。　　All

who　came　to　her；　and　they　were　many；　went　away

the　better　for　the　visit；　and　the　mere　mention　of

her　name　along　the　coast　softened　eyes　that　had

looked　too　bitterly　on　life。



Relief　and　I　became　close　friends。　　I　was　greatly

drawn　to　her；　and　deeply　moved　by　the　tragedy　of

her　situation；　as　well　as　by　the　beautiful　spirit　with

which　she　bore　it。　　During　my　first　visit　I　regaled

her　with　stories　of　the　community　and　of　my　own

experiences；　and　when　I　was　leaving　it　occurred　to

me　that　possibly　I　had　been　rather　frivolous。　　So

I　said：



‘‘I　am　coming　to　see　you　often；　and　when　I　come

I　want　to　do　whatever　will　interest　you　most。　　Shall

I　bring　some　books　and　read　to　you？''



Relief　smiledthe　gay；　mischievous　little　smile

I　was　soon　to　know　so　well；　but　which　at　first　seemed

out　of　place　on　the　tragic　mask　of　her　face。



‘‘No；　don't　read　to　me；''　she　decided。　　‘‘There

are　enough　ready　to　do　that。　　Talk　to　me。　　Tell

me　about　our　life　and　our　people　here；　as　they

strike　you。''　　And　she　added；　slowly：　　‘‘You　are　a

queer　minister。　　You　have　not　offered　to　pray　with

me！''



‘‘I　feel；''　I　told　her；　‘‘more　like　asking　you　to　pray

for　me。''



Relief　continued　her　analysis。　　‘‘You　have　not

told　me　that　my　affliction　was　a　visitation　from　God；''

she　added；　‘‘that　it　was　discipline　and　well　for　me

I　had　it。''



‘‘I　don't　believe　it　was　from　God；''　I　said。　　‘‘I

don't　believe　God　had　anything　to　do　with　it。　　And

I　rejoice　that　you　have　not　let　it　wreck　your　life。''



She　pressed　my　hand。　　‘‘Thank　you　for　saying

that；''　she　murmured。　　‘‘If　I　thought　God　did　it

I　could　not　love　Him；　and　if　I　did　not　love　Him　I

could　not　live。　　Please　come　and　see　me　VERY　often

and　tell　me　stories！''



After　that　I　collected　stories　for　Relief。　　One　of

those　which　most　amused　her；　I　remember；　was　about

my　horse；　and　this　encourages　me　to　repeat　it　here。　

In　my　life　in　East　Dennis　I　did　not　occupy　the　lonely

little　parsonage　connected　with　my　church；　but　in…

stead　boarded　with　a　frienda　widow　named　Cro…

well。　　（There　seemed　only　two　names　in　Cape　Cod：　

Sears　and　Crowell。）　　To　keep　in　touch　with　my　two

churches；　which　were　almost　three　miles　apart；　it

became　necessary　to　have　a　horse。　　As　Mrs。　Crowell

needed　one；　too；　we　decided　to　buy　the　animal　in

partnership；　and　Miss　Crowell；　the　daughter　of　the

widow；　who　knew　no　more　about　horses　than　I　did；

undertook　to　lend　me　the　support　of　her　presence

and　advice　during　the　purchase。　　We　did　not　care

to　have　the　entire　community　take　a　passionate　in…

terest　in　the　matter；　as　it　would　certainly　have　done

if　it　had　heard　of　our　intention；　so　my　friend　and　I

departed　somewhat　stealthily　for　a　neighboring

town；　where；　we　had　heard；　a　very　good　horse　was

offered　for　sale。　　We　saw　the　animal　and　liked　it；

but　before　closing　the　bargain　we　cannily　asked　the

owner　if　the　horse　was　perfectly　sound；　and　if　it

was　gentle　with　women。　　He　assured　us　that　it　was

both　sound　and　gentle　with　women；　and　to　prove　the

latter　point　he　had　his　wife　harness　it　to　the　buggy

and　drive　it　around　the　stable…yard。　　The　animal

behaved　beautifully。　　After　it　had　gone　through

its　paces；　Miss　Crowell　and　I　leaned　confidingly

against　its　side；　patting　it　and　praising　its　beauty；

and　the　horse　seemed　to　enjoy　our　attentions。　

We　bought　it　then　and　there；　drove　it　home；　and

put　it　in　our　barn；　and　the　next　morning　we　hired

a　man　in　the　neighborhood　to　come　over　and　take

care　of　it。



He　arrived。　　Five　minutes　later　a　frightful　racket

broke　out　in　the　barnsounds　of　stamping；　kicking；

and　plunging；　mingled　with　loud　shouts。　　We　ran

to　the　scene　of　the　trouble；　and　found　our　‘‘hired

man''　rushing　breathlessly　toward　the　house。　　When

he　was　able　to　speak　he　informed　us　that　we　had　‘‘a

devil　in　there；''　pointing　back　to　the　barn；　and　that

the　new　horse's　legs　were　in　the　air；　all　four　of　them

at　once；　the　minute　he　went　near　her。　　We　insisted

that　he　must　have　frightened　or　hurt　her；　but；　sol…

emnly　and　with　anxious　looks　behind；　he　protested

that　he　had　not。　　Finally　Miss　Crowell　and　I　went

into　the　barn；　and　received　a　dignified　welcome　from

the　new　horse；　which　seemed　pleased　by　our　visit。　

Together　we　harnessed　her　and；　without　the　least

difficulty；　drove　her　out　into　the　yard。　　As　soon　as

our　man　took　the　reins；　however；　she　reared；　kicked；

and　smashed　our　brand…new　buggy。　　We　changed

the　man　and　had　the　buggy　repaired；　but　by　the

end　of　the　week　the　animal　had　smashed　the　buggy

again。　　Then；　with　some　natural　resentment；　we

made　a　second　visit　to　the　man　from　whom　we

had　bought　her；　and　asked　him　why　he　had　sold

us　such　a　horse。



He　said　he　had　told　us　the　exact　truth。　　The　horse

WAS　sound　and　she　WAS　extremely　gentle　with　women；

butand　this　point　he　had　seen　no　reason　to　men…

tion；　as　we　had　not　asked　about　itshe　would　not

let　a　man　come　near　her。　　He　firmly　refused　to　take

her　back；　and　we　had　to　make　the　best　of　the　bar…

gain。　　As　it　was　impossible　to　take　care　of　her　our…

selves；　I　gave　some　thought　to　the　problem　she　pre…

sented；　and　finally　devised　a　plan　which　worked　very

well。　　I　hired　a　neighbor　who　was　a　small；　slight

man　to　take　care　of　her；　and　made　him　wear　his　wife's

sunbonnet　and　waterproof　cloak　whenever　he　ap…

proached　the　horse。　　The　picture　he　presented　in

these　garments　still　stands　out　pleasantly　against　the

background　of　my　Cape　Cod　memories。　　The　horse；

however；　did　not　share　our　appreciation　of　it。　　She

was　suspicious；　and　for　a　time　she　shied　whenever

the　man　and　his　sunbonnet　and　cloak　appeared；

but　we　stood　by　until　she　grew　accustomed　to　them

and　him；　and　as　he　was　both　patient　and　gentle；

she　finally　allowed　him　to　harness　and　unharness

her。　　But　no　man　could　drive　her；　and　when　I

drove　to　church　I　was　forced　to　hitch　and　un…

hitch　her　myself。　　No　one　else　could　do　it；　though

many　a　gallant　and　subsequently　resentful　man　at…

tempted　the　feat。



On　one　occasion　a　man　I　greatly　disliked；　and　who　I

had　reason　to　know　disliked　me；　insisted　that　he　could

unhitch　her；　and　started　to　do　so；　notwithstanding

my　protests　and　explanations。　　At　his　approach　she

rose　on　her　hind…legs；　and　when　he　grasped　her　bridle

she　lifted　him　off　his　feet。　　His　expression　as　he

hung　in　mid…air　was　an　extraordinary　mixture　of

surprise　and　regret。　　The　moment　I　touched　her；

however；　she　quieted　down；　and　when　I　got　into　the

buggy　and　gathered　up　the　reins　she　walked　off　like

a　lamb；　leaving　the　man　staring　after　her　with　his

eyes　starting　from　his　head。



The　previous　owner　had　called　the　horse　Daisy；

and　we　never　changed　the　name；　though　it　always

seemed　sadly　inappropriate。　　Time　proved；　however；

that　there　were　advantages　in　the　ownership　of

Daisy。　　No　man　would　allow　his　wife　or　daughter

to　drive　behind　her；　and　no　one　wanted　to　borrow

her。　　If　she　had　been　a　different　kind　of　animal　she

would　have　been　used　by　the　whole　community；

We　kept　Daisy　for　seven　years；　and　our　acquaintance

ripened　into　a　pleasant　friendship。



Another　Cape　Cod　resident　to　whose　memory　I

must　offer　tribute　in　these　pages　was　Polly　Ann

Searsone　of　the　dearest　and　best　of　my　parish…

ioners。　　She　had　six　sons；　and　when　five　had　gone

to　sea　she　insisted　that　the　sixth　must　remain　at

home。　　In　vain　the　boy　begged　her　to　let　him　follow

his　brothers。　　She　stood　firm。　　The　sea；　she　said；

should　not　swallow　all　her　boys；　she　had　given　it

fiveshe　must　keep　one。



As　it　happened；　the　son　she　kept　at　home　was　the

only　one　who　was　drowned。　　He　was　caught　in　a

fish…net　and　dragged　under　the　waters　of　the　bay

near　his　home；　and　when　I　went　to　see　his　mother

to　offer　such　comfort　as　I　could；　she　showed　that

she　had　learned　the　big　lesson　of　the　experience。



‘‘I　tried　to　be　a　special　Providence；''　she　moaned；

‘‘and　the　one　boy　I　kept　home　was　the　only　boy

I　lost。　　I　ain