less knew something which I did not know。 So I
thought； and tried to understand。 But no matter；
I could never understand it； then or afterwards。
And not being able to grasp it； I could not enter
the service as I had intended。 I don't mean only
the military service： I did not enter the Civil Serv…
ice either。 And so I have been of no use whatever；
as you can see。〃
〃Yes； we know how useless you've been；〃 said
one of us。 〃Tell us； rather； how many people
would be of any use at all if it hadn't been for
you。〃
〃Oh； that's utter nonsense；〃 said Ivan Vasilie…
vich； with genuine annoyance。
〃Well； and what about the love affair？
〃My love？ It decreased from that day。
When； as often happened； she looked dreamy and
meditative； I instantly recollected the colonel on
the parade ground； and I felt so awkward and
uncomfortable that I began to see her less fre…
quently。 So my love came to naught。 Yes； such
chances arise； and they alter and direct a man's
whole life；〃 he said in summing up。 〃And you
say 。 。 。〃