would utterly sink me in my own self…respect； in my family's eyes； and in
the eyes of the community。 On the other hand； should I give the author's
name how could I ever expect that confidence of the People which I should
no longer deserve； and how much dearer to me and to my family was my life
than the life of the real author to his friends。 Yet life seemed dear
and each minute that remained seemed precious if not solemn。 I sincerely
trust that neither you nor any of your readers； and especially none with
families； may ever be placed in such seeming direct proximity to death
while obliged to decide the one question I was compelled to； viz。： What
should I doI； a man of family； and not as Mr。 Winters is； 〃alone。〃
＇The reader is requested not to skip the following。M。 T。：＇
STRATEGY AND MESMERISM。
To gain time for further reflection； and hoping that by a seeming
acquiescence I might regain my personal liberty； at least till I could
give an alarm； or take advantage of some momentary inadvertence of
Winters； and then without a cowardly flight escape； I resolved to write a
certain kind of retraction； but previously had inwardly decided
First。That I would studiously avoid every action which might be
construed into the drawing of a weapon； even by a self…infuriated man； no
matter what amount of insult might be heaped upon me； for it seemed to me
that this great excess of compound profanity； foulness and epithet must
be more than a mere indulgence； and therefore must have some object。
〃Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird。〃 Therefore；
as before without thought； I thereafter by intent kept my hands away from
my pockets； and generally in sight and spread upon my knees。
Second。I resolved to make no motion with my arms or hands which could
possibly be construed into aggression。
Third。I resolved completely to govern my outward manner and suppress
indignation。 To do this； I must govern my spirit。 To do that； by force
of imagination I was obliged like actors on the boards to resolve myself
into an unnatural mental state and see all things through the eyes of an
assumed character。
Fourth。I resolved to try on Winters； silently； and unconsciously to
himself a mesmeric power which I possess over certain kinds of people；
and which at times I have found to work even in the dark over the lower
animals。
Does any one smile at these last counts？ God save you from ever being
obliged to beat in a game of chess； whose stake is your life； you having
but four poor pawns and pieces and your adversary with his full force
unshorn。 But if you are； provided you have any strength with breadth of
will； do not despair。 Though mesmeric power may not save you； it may
help you； try it at all events。 In this instance I was conscious of
power coming into me； and by a law of nature； I know Winters was
correspondingly weakened。 If I could have gained more time I am sure he
would not even have struck me。
It takes time both to form such resolutions and to recite them。 That
time； however； I gained while thinking of my retraction； which I first
wrote in pencil； altering it from time to time till I got it to suit me；
my aim being to make it look like a concession to demands； while in fact
it should tersely speak the truth into Mr。 Winters' mind。 When it was
finished； I copied it in ink； and if correctly copied from my first draft
it should read as follows。 In copying I do not think I made any material
change。
COPY。
To Philip Lynch； Editor of the Gold Hill News： I learn that Gen。 John B。
Winters believes the following （pasted on） clipping from the PEOPLE'S
TRIBUNE of January to contain distinct charges of mine against him
personally； and that as such he desires me to retract them unqualifiedly。
In compliance with his request； permit me to say that； although Mr。
Winters and I see this matter differently； in view of his strong feelings
in the premises； I hereby declare that I do not know those 〃charges〃 （if
such they are） to be true； and I hope that a critical examination would
altogether disprove them。
CONRAD WIEGAND。
Gold Hill； January 15； 1870。
I then read what I had written and handed it to Mr。 Lynch； whereupon Mr。
Winters said：
〃That's not satisfactory； and it won't do；〃 and then addressing himself
to Mr。 Lynch； he further said： 〃How does it strike you？〃
〃Well； I confess I don't see that it retracts anything。〃
〃Nor do I；〃 said Winters； 〃in fact； I regard it as adding insult to
injury。 Mr。 Wiegand you've got to do better than that。 You are not the
man who can pull wool over my eyes。〃
〃That； sir； is the only retraction I can write。〃
〃No it isn't； sir； and if you so much as say so again you do it at your
peril； for I'll thrash you to within an inch of your life； and； by；
sir； I don't pledge myself to spare you even that inch either。 I want
you to understand I have asked you for a very different paper； and that
paper you've got to sign。〃
〃Mr。 Winters； I assure you that I do not wish to irritate you； but； at
the same time； it is utterly impossible for me to write any other paper
than that which I have written。 If you are resolved to compel me to sign
something； Philip Lynch's hand must write at your dictation； and if； when
written； I can sign it I will do so； but such a document as you say you
must have from me； I never can sign。 I mean what I say。〃
〃Well； sir； what's to be done must be done quickly； for I've been here
long enough already。 I'll put the thing in another shape （and then
pointing to the paper）； don't you know those charges to be false？〃
〃I do not。〃
〃Do you know them to be true？〃
〃Of my own personal knowledge I do not。〃
〃Why then did you print them？〃
〃Because rightly considered in their connection they are not charges； but
pertinent and useful suggestions in answer to the queries of a
correspondent who stated facts which are inexplicable。〃
〃Don't you know that I know they are false？〃
〃If you do； the proper course is simply to deny them and court an
investigation。〃
〃And do YOU claim the right to make ME come out and deny anything you may
choose to write and print？〃
To that question I think I made no reply； and he then further said：
〃Come； now； we've talked about the matter long enough。 I want your final
answerdid you write that article or not？〃
〃I cannot in honor tell you who wrote it。〃
〃Did you not see it before it was printed？〃
〃Most certainly； sir。〃
〃And did you deem it a fit thing to publish？〃
〃Most assuredly； sir； or I would never have consented to its appearance。
Of its authorship I can say nothing whatever； but for its publication I
assume full； sole and personal responsibility。〃
〃And do you then retract it or not？〃
〃Mr。 Winters； if my refusal to sign such a paper as you have demanded
must entail upon me all that your language in this room fairly implies；
then I ask a few minutes for prayer。〃
〃Prayer！…you； this is not your hour for prayeryour time to pray was
when you were writing thoselying charges。 Will you sign or not？〃
〃You already have my answer。〃
〃What！ do you still refuse？〃
〃I do； sir。〃
〃Take that； then；〃 and to my amazement and inexpressible relief he drew
only a rawhide instead of what I expecteda bludgeon or pistol。 With
it； as he spoke； he struck at my left ear downwards； as if to tear it
off； and afterwards on the side of the head。 As he moved away to get a
better chance for a more effective shot； for the first time I gained a
chance under peril to rise； and I did so pitying him from the very bottom
of my soul； to think that one so naturally capable of true dignity； power
and nobility could； by the temptations of this State； and by unfortunate
associations and aspirations； be so deeply debased as to find in such
brutality anything which he could call satisfactionbut the great hope
for us all is in progress and growth； and John B。 Winters； I trust； will
yet be able to comprehend my feelings。
He continued to beat me with all his great force； until absolutely weary；
exhausted and panting for breath。 I still adhered to my purpose of non…
aggressive defence； and made no other use of my arms than to defend my
head and face from further disfigurement。 The mere pain arising from the
blows he inflicted upon my person was of course transient； and my
clothing to some extent deadened its severity； as it now hides all
remaining traces。
When I supposed he was through； taking the butt end of his weapon and
shaking it in my face； he warned me； if I correctly understood him； of
more yet to come； and furthermore said； if ever I again dared introduce
his name to print； in either my own or any other public journal； he would
cut off my left ear （and I do not think he was jesting） and send me home
to my family a visibly mutilated man； to be a standing warning to all
low…lived puppies who seek to blackmail gentlemen and to injure their
good names。 And when he did so operate； he informed me that his
implement would not be a whip but a knife。
When he had said this； unaccompanied by Mr。 Lynch； as I remember it； he
left the room； for I sat down by Mr。 Lynch； exclaiming： 〃The man is mad
he is utterly madthis step is his ruinit is a mistakeit would be
ungenerous in me； despite of all the ill usage I have here received； to
expose him； at least until he has had an opportunity to reflect upon the
matter。 I shall be in no haste。〃
〃Winters is very mad just now；〃 replied Mr。 Lynch； 〃but when he is
himself he is one of the finest men I ever met。 In fact； he told me the
reason he did not meet you upstairs was to spare you the humiliation of a
beating in the sight of others。〃
I submit that that unguarded remark of Philip Lynch convicts him of
having been privy in advance to Mr。 Winters' intentions whatever they may
have been； or at least to his meaning to make an assault upon me； but I
leave to others to determine how much censure an editor deserves for
inveigling a weak； non…combatant man； also a publisher； to a pen of his
own to be horsewhipped； if no worse； for the simple printing of what is
verbally in the mouth of nine out of ten men； and women