he plays admirably； he sings his complaints in verses that show his
ingenuity。 I follow another； easier； and to my mind wiser course；
and that is to rail at the frivolity of women； at their inconstancy；
their double dealing； their broken promises； their unkept pledges； and
in short the want of reflection they show in fixing their affections
and inclinations。 This； sirs； was the reason of words and
expressions I made use of to this goat when I came up just now； for as
she is a female I have a contempt for her； though she is the best in
all my fold。 This is the story I promised to tell you； and if I have
been tedious in telling it； I will not be slow to serve you； my hut is
close by； and I have fresh milk and dainty cheese there； as well as
a variety of toothsome fruit； no less pleasing to the eye than to
the palate。
CHAPTER LII
OF THE QUARREL THAT DON QUIXOTE HAD WITH THE GOATHERD； TOGETHER WITH
THE RARE ADVENTURE OF THE PENITENTS； WHICH WITH AN EXPENDITURE OF
SWEAT HE BROUGHT TO A HAPPY CONCLUSION
THE goatherd's tale gave great satisfaction to all the hearers；
and the canon especially enjoyed it； for he had remarked with
particular attention the manner in which it had been told； which was
as unlike the manner of a clownish goatherd as it was like that of a
polished city wit； and he observed that the curate had been quite
right in saying that the woods bred men of learning。 They all
offered their services to Eugenio but he who showed himself most
liberal in this way was Don Quixote； who said to him； 〃Most assuredly；
brother goatherd； if I found myself in a position to attempt any
adventure； I would； this very instant； set out on your behalf； and
would rescue Leandra from that convent （where no doubt she is kept
against her will）； in spite of the abbess and all who might try to
prevent me； and would place her in your hands to deal with her
according to your will and pleasure； observing； however； the laws of
chivalry which lay down that no violence of any kind is to be
offered to any damsel。 But I trust in God our Lord that the might of
one malignant enchanter may not prove so great but that the power of
another better disposed may prove superior to it； and then I promise
you my support and assistance； as I am bound to do by my profession；
which is none other than to give aid to the weak and needy。〃
The goatherd eyed him； and noticing Don Quixote's sorry appearance
and looks； he was filled with wonder； and asked the barber； who was
next him； 〃Senor； who is this man who makes such a figure and talks in
such a strain？〃
〃Who should it be；〃 said the barber； 〃but the famous Don Quixote
of La Mancha； the undoer of injustice； the righter of wrongs； the
protector of damsels； the terror of giants； and the winner of
battles？〃
〃That；〃 said the goatherd； 〃sounds like what one reads in the
books of the knights…errant； who did all that you say this man does；
though it is my belief that either you are joking； or else this
gentleman has empty lodgings in his head。〃
〃You are a great scoundrel；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃and it is you who
are empty and a fool。 I am fuller than ever was the whoreson bitch
that bore you；〃 and passing from words to deeds； he caught up a loaf
that was near him and sent it full in the goatherd's face； with such
force that he flattened his nose； but the goatherd； who did not
understand jokes； and found himself roughly handled in such good
earnest； paying no respect to carpet； tablecloth； or diners； sprang
upon Don Quixote； and seizing him by the throat with both hands
would no doubt have throttled him； had not Sancho Panza that instant
come to the rescue； and grasping him by the shoulders flung him down
on the table； smashing plates； breaking glasses； and upsetting and
scattering everything on it。 Don Quixote； finding himself free； strove
to get on top of the goatherd； who； with his face covered with
blood； and soundly kicked by Sancho； was on all fours feeling about
for one of the table…knives to take a bloody revenge with。 The canon
and the curate； however； prevented him； but the barber so contrived it
that he got Don Quixote under him； and rained down upon him such a
shower of fisticuffs that the poor knight's face streamed with blood
as freely as his own。 The canon and the curate were bursting with
laughter； the officers were capering with delight； and both the one
and the other hissed them on as they do dogs that are worrying one
another in a fight。 Sancho alone was frantic； for he could not free
himself from the grasp of one of the canon's servants； who kept him
from going to his master's assistance。
At last； while they were all； with the exception of the two bruisers
who were mauling each other； in high glee and enjoyment； they heard
a trumpet sound a note so doleful that it made them all look in the
direction whence the sound seemed to come。 But the one that was most
excited by hearing it was Don Quixote； who though sorely against his
will he was under the goatherd； and something more than pretty well
pummelled； said to him； 〃Brother devil （for it is impossible but
that thou must be one since thou hast had might and strength enough to
overcome mine）； I ask thee to agree to a truce for but one hour for
the solemn note of yonder trumpet that falls on our ears seems to me
to summon me to some new adventure。〃 The goatherd； who was by this
time tired of pummelling and being pummelled； released him at once；
and Don Quixote rising to his feet and turning his eyes to the quarter
where the sound had been heard； suddenly saw coming down the slope
of a hill several men clad in white like penitents。
The fact was that the clouds had that year withheld their moisture
from the earth； and in all the villages of the district they were
organising processions； rogations； and penances； imploring God to open
the hands of his mercy and send the rain； and to this end the people
of a village that was hard by were going in procession to a holy
hermitage there was on one side of that valley。 Don Quixote when he
saw the strange garb of the penitents； without reflecting how often he
had seen it before； took it into his head that this was a case of
adventure； and that it fell to him alone as a knight…errant to
engage in it； and he was all the more confirmed in this notion； by the
idea that an image draped in black they had with them was some
illustrious lady that these villains and discourteous thieves were
carrying off by force。 As soon as this occurred to him he ran with all
speed to Rocinante who was grazing at large； and taking the bridle and
the buckler from the saddle…bow； he had him bridled in an instant； and
calling to Sancho for his sword he mounted Rocinante； braced his
buckler on his arm； and in a loud voice exclaimed to those who stood
by； 〃Now； noble company； ye shall see how important it is that there
should be knights in the world professing the of knight…errantry； now；
I say； ye shall see； by the deliverance of that worthy lady who is
borne captive there； whether knights…errant deserve to be held in
estimation；〃 and so saying he brought his legs to bear on Rocinante…
for he had no spurs… and at a full canter （for in all this veracious
history we never read of Rocinante fairly galloping） set off to
encounter the penitents； though the curate； the canon； and the
barber ran to prevent him。 But it was out of their power； nor did he
even stop for the shouts of Sancho calling after him； 〃Where are you
going； Senor Don Quixote？ What devils have possessed you to set you on
against our Catholic faith？ Plague take me！ mind； that is a procession
of penitents； and the lady they are carrying on that stand there is
the blessed image of the immaculate Virgin。 Take care what you are
doing； senor； for this time it may be safely said you don't know
what you are about。〃 Sancho laboured in vain； for his master was so
bent on coming to quarters with these sheeted figures and releasing
the lady in black that he did not hear a word； and even had he
heard； he would not have turned back if the king had ordered him。 He
came up with the procession and reined in Rocinante； who was already
anxious enough to slacken speed a little； and in a hoarse； excited
voice he exclaimed； 〃You who hide your faces； perhaps because you
are not good subjects； pay attention and listen to what I am about
to say to you。〃 The first to halt were those who were carrying the
image； and one of the four ecclesiastics who were chanting the Litany；
struck by the strange figure of Don Quixote； the leanness of
Rocinante； and the other ludicrous peculiarities he observed； said
in reply to him； 〃Brother； if you have anything to say to us say it
quickly； for these brethren are whipping themselves； and we cannot
stop； nor is it reasonable we should stop to hear anything； unless
indeed it is short enough to be said in two words。〃
〃I will say it in one；〃 replied Don Quixote； 〃and it is this； that
at once； this very instant； ye release that fair lady whose tears
and sad aspect show plainly that ye are carrying her off against her
will； and that ye have committed some scandalous outrage against
her； and I； who was born into the world to redress all such like
wrongs； will not permit you to advance another step until you have
restored to her the liberty she pines for and deserves。〃
From these words all the hearers concluded that he must be a madman；
and began to laugh heartily； and their laughter acted like gunpowder
on Don Quixote's fury； for drawing his sword without another word he
made a rush at the stand。 One of those who supported it； leaving the
burden to his comrades； advanced to meet him； flourishing a forked
stick that he had for propping up the stand when resting； and with
this he caught a mighty cut Don Quixote made at him that severed it in
two； but with the portion that remained in his hand he dealt such a
thwack on the shoulder of Don Quixote's sword arm （which the buckler
could not protect against the clownish assault） that poor Don
Quixote came to the ground in a sad plight。
Sancho Panza； who was coming on close behind puffing and blowing；
seeing him fall； cried out to his assailant not to strike him again；
for he was