that people were in the habit of offering to princes。
〃Mine； master shaver；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃will not be impertinent；
but； on the contrary； pertinent。〃
〃I don't mean that；〃 said the barber； 〃but that experience has shown
that all or most of the expedients which are proposed to his Majesty
are either impossible； or absurd； or injurious to the King and to
the kingdom。〃
〃Mine； however；〃 replied Don Quixote； 〃is neither impossible nor
absurd； but the easiest； the most reasonable； the readiest and most
expeditious that could suggest itself to any projector's mind。〃
〃You take a long time to tell it； Senor Don Quixote；〃 said the
curate。
〃I don't choose to tell it here； now；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃and have
it reach the ears of the lords of the council to…morrow morning； and
some other carry off the thanks and rewards of my trouble。〃
〃For my part；〃 said the barber； 〃I give my word here and before
God that I will not repeat what your worship says； to King； Rook or
earthly man… an oath I learned from the ballad of the curate； who；
in the prelude； told the king of the thief who had robbed him of the
hundred gold crowns and his pacing mule。〃
〃I am not versed in stories；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃but I know the oath
is a good one； because I know the barber to be an honest fellow。〃
〃Even if he were not；〃 said the curate； 〃I will go bail and answer
for him that in this matter he will be as silent as a dummy； under
pain of paying any penalty that may be pronounced。〃
〃And who will be security for you； senor curate？〃 said Don Quixote。
〃My profession；〃 replied the curate； 〃which is to keep secrets。〃
〃Ods body！〃 said Don Quixote at this； 〃what more has his Majesty
to do but to command； by public proclamation； all the knights…errant
that are scattered over Spain to assemble on a fixed day in the
capital； for even if no more than half a dozen come； there may be
one among them who alone will suffice to destroy the entire might of
the Turk。 Give me your attention and follow me。 Is it； pray； any new
thing for a single knight…errant to demolish an army of two hundred
thousand men； as if they all had but one throat or were made of
sugar paste？ Nay； tell me； how many histories are there filled with
these marvels？ If only （in an evil hour for me： I don't speak for
anyone else） the famous Don Belianis were alive now； or any one of the
innumerable progeny of Amadis of Gaul！ If any these were alive
today； and were to come face to face with the Turk； by my faith； I
would not give much for the Turk's chance。 But God will have regard
for his people； and will provide some one； who； if not so valiant as
the knights…errant of yore； at least will not be inferior to them in
spirit； but God knows what I mean； and I say no more。〃
〃Alas！〃 exclaimed the niece at this； 〃may I die if my master does
not want to turn knight…errant again；〃 to which Don Quixote replied；
〃A knight…errant I shall die； and let the Turk come down or go up when
he likes； and in as strong force as he can； once more I say； God knows
what I mean。〃 But here the barber said； 〃I ask your worships to give
me leave to tell a short story of something that happened in
Seville； which comes so pat to the purpose just now that I should like
greatly to tell it。〃 Don Quixote gave him leave； and the rest prepared
to listen； and he began thus：
〃In the madhouse at Seville there was a man whom his relations had
placed there as being out of his mind。 He was a graduate of Osuna in
canon law； but even if he had been of Salamanca； it was the opinion of
most people that he would have been mad all the same。 This graduate；
after some years of confinement； took it into his head that he was
sane and in his full senses； and under this impression wrote to the
Archbishop； entreating him earnestly； and in very correct language； to
have him released from the misery in which he was living； for by God's
mercy he had now recovered his lost reason； though his relations； in
order to enjoy his property； kept him there； and； in spite of the
truth； would make him out to be mad until his dying day。 The
Archbishop； moved by repeated sensible； well…written letters； directed
one of his chaplains to make inquiry of the madhouse as to the truth
of the licentiate's statements； and to have an interview with the
madman himself； and； if it should appear that he was in his senses； to
take him out and restore him to liberty。 The chaplain did so； and
the governor assured him that the man was still mad； and that though
he often spoke like a highly intelligent person； he would in the end
break out into nonsense that in quantity and quality counterbalanced
all the sensible things he had said before； as might be easily
tested by talking to him。 The chaplain resolved to try the experiment；
and obtaining access to the madman conversed with him for an hour or
more； during the whole of which time he never uttered a word that
was incoherent or absurd； but； on the contrary； spoke so rationally
that the chaplain was compelled to believe him to be sane。 Among other
things； he said the governor was against him； not to lose the presents
his relations made him for reporting him still mad but with lucid
intervals； and that the worst foe he had in his misfortune was his
large property； for in order to enjoy it his enemies disparaged and
threw doubts upon the mercy our Lord had shown him in turning him from
a brute beast into a man。 In short； he spoke in such a way that he
cast suspicion on the governor； and made his relations appear covetous
and heartless； and himself so rational that the chaplain determined to
take him away with him that the Archbishop might see him； and
ascertain for himself the truth of the matter。 Yielding to this
conviction； the worthy chaplain begged the governor to have the
clothes in which the licentiate had entered the house given to him。
The governor again bade him beware of what he was doing； as the
licentiate was beyond a doubt still mad； but all his cautions and
warnings were unavailing to dissuade the chaplain from taking him
away。 The governor； seeing that it was the order of the Archbishop；
obeyed； and they dressed the licentiate in his own clothes； which were
new and decent。 He； as soon as he saw himself clothed like one in
his senses； and divested of the appearance of a madman； entreated
the chaplain to permit him in charity to go and take leave of his
comrades the madmen。 The chaplain said he would go with him to see
what madmen there were in the house； so they went upstairs； and with
them some of those who were present。 Approaching a cage in which there
was a furious madman； though just at that moment calm and quiet； the
licentiate said to him； 'Brother； think if you have any commands for
me； for I am going home； as God has been pleased； in his infinite
goodness and mercy； without any merit of mine； to restore me my
reason。 I am now cured and in my senses； for with God's power
nothing is impossible。 Have strong hope and trust in him； for as he
has restored me to my original condition； so likewise he will
restore you if you trust in him。 I will take care to send you some
good things to eat； and be sure you eat them； for I would have you
know I am convinced； as one who has gone through it； that all this
madness of ours comes of having the stomach empty and the brains
full of wind。 Take courage！ take courage！ for despondency in
misfortune breaks down health and brings on death。'
〃To all these words of the licentiate another madman in a cage
opposite that of the furious one was listening； and raising himself up
from an old mat on which he lay stark naked； he asked in a loud
voice who it was that was going away cured and in his senses。 The
licentiate answered； 'It is I； brother； who am going； I have now no
need to remain here any longer； for which I return infinite thanks
to Heaven that has had so great mercy upon me。'
〃'Mind what you are saying； licentiate； don't let the devil
deceive you；' replied the madman。 'Keep quiet； stay where you are； and
you will save yourself the trouble of coming back。'
〃'I know I am cured；' returned the licentiate； 'and that I shall not
have to go stations again。'
〃'You cured！' said the madman； 'well； we shall see； God be with you；
but I swear to you by Jupiter； whose majesty I represent on earth；
that for this crime alone； which Seville is committing to…day in
releasing you from this house； and treating you as if you were in your
senses； I shall have to inflict such a punishment on it as will be
remembered for ages and ages； amen。 Dost thou not know； thou miserable
little licentiate； that I can do it； being； as I say； Jupiter the
Thunderer； who hold in my hands the fiery bolts with which I am able
and am wont to threaten and lay waste the world？ But in one way only
will I punish this ignorant town； and that is by not raining upon
it； nor on any part of its district or territory； for three whole
years； to be reckoned from the day and moment when this threat is
pronounced。 Thou free； thou cured； thou in thy senses！ and I mad； I
disordered； I bound！ I will as soon think of sending rain as of
hanging myself。
〃Those present stood listening to the words and exclamations of
the madman； but our licentiate； turning to the chaplain and seizing
him by the hands； said to him； 'Be not uneasy； senor； attach no
importance to what this madman has said； for if he is Jupiter and will
not send rain； I； who am Neptune； the father and god of the waters；
will rain as often as it pleases me and may be needful。'
〃The governor and the bystanders laughed； and at their laughter
the chaplain was half ashamed； and he replied； 'For all that； Senor
Neptune； it will not do to vex Senor Jupiter； remain where you are；
and some other day； when there is a better opportunity and more
time； we will come back for you。' So they stripped the licentiate； and
he was left where he was； and that's the end of the story。〃
〃So that's the story； master barber；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃which
came in so pat to the purpose that you could not help telling it？
Master shaver； master shaver！ how blind is he who cannot see through a
sieve。 Is it possible that you do not know that comparisons of w