equally perilous； but he chose the firsthe kissed and blessed her；
and gave her joy。 She looked up at him as if his blessing once more
brought peace； and said faintly； 〃Now it is pardonnow I can die！〃
〃The cloud is gone！ Thanks for that above all！ said。 Dr。 May
fervently。 〃Now； my dear； rest in thankful gladnessyou are too
weak to talk or think。〃
〃I am weakI am tired of it all；〃 said Flora。 〃I am glad to be
going while I am so happythere are Margaretmy own darlingrest
peace〃
〃You are not going； dearest；〃 said her father； 〃at least； I trust
not； if you will not give way； here is a darling given to you；
instead of the first； who needs you more。〃
He would have taken the infant from the nurse and held her to her
mother； but； recollecting how little Leonora had drawn her last
breath in his arms； he feared the association； and signed to Mrs。
Arnott to show her the child； but she seemed as yet only able to feel
that it was not Leonora； and the long sealed…up grief would have its
way。 The tears burst out again。 〃Tell Ethel she will be the best
mother to her。 Name her Margaretmake her a Daisy of your own
don't call her after me；〃 she said； with such passionate caresses；
that Mrs。 Arnott was glad to take the babe away。
Dr。 May's next expedient was to speak to her of her husband； who
needed her more than all； and to call him in。 There seemed to be
something tranquillising in his wistful manner of repeating； 〃Don't
cry； Flora；〃 and she was at last reduced； by her extreme exhaustion；
to stillness； but there were still many fears for her。
Dr。 May's prediction was accomplishedthat she would suffer for
having over…exerted herself。 Her constitution had been severely
tried by the grief and despondency that she had so long endured in
silence； and the fresh sorrow for her favourite sister coming at such
a crisis。 There was a weariness of life； and an unwillingness to
resume her ordinary routine； that made her almost welcome her
weakness and sinking； and now that the black terror had cleared away
from the future； she seemed to long to follow Margaret at once； and
to yearn after her lost child； while appeals to the affection that
surrounded her often seemed to oppress her； as if there were nothing
but weariness and toil in store。
The state of her mind made her father very anxious； though it was but
too well accounted for。 Poor Flora had voluntarily assumed the
trammels that galled her； worldly motives had prompted her marriage；
and though she faithfully loved her husband； he was a heavy weight on
her hands； and she had made it more onerous by thrusting him into a
position for which he was not calculated； and inspiring him with a
self…consequence that would not recede from it。 The shock of her
child's death had taken away the zest and energy which had rejoiced
in her chosen way of life； and opened her eyes to see what Master she
had been serving； and the perception of the hollowness of all that
had been apparently good in her； had filled her with remorse and
despair。 Her sufferings had been the more bitter because she had not
parted with her proud reserve。 She had refused council； and denied
her confidence to those who could have guided her repentance。 Her
natural good sense； and the sound principle in which she had been
brought up； had taught her to distrust her gloomy feelings as
possibly morbid； and she had prayed； keeping her hold of faith in the
Infinite Mercy； though she could not feel her own part in it； and
thus that faith was beginning at last to clear her path。
It was the harder to deal with her； because her hysterical agitation
was so easily excited； that her father hardly dared to let a word be
spoken to her； and she was allowed to see no one else except her aunt
and the dear old nurse； whose tears for her child Margaret had been
checked by the urgent requirements of another of her nurslings； and
whom George Rivers would have paid with her weight in gold； for
taking care of his new daughter； regarding her as the only woman in
the world that could be trusted。
Those were heavy days with every one； though each brought some shade
of improvement。 They were harder to bear than the peaceful days that
had immediately followed the loss of Margaret； and Ethel was
especially unhappy and forlorn under the new anxiety； where she could
be of no service； and with her precious occupation gone； her father
absent； instead of resting upon her； and her room deserted。 She was
grieved with herself； because her feelings were unable to soar at the
Christmas Feast； as erst on St。 Andrew's Day； and she was bewildered
and distressed by the fear that she had then been only uplifted by
vanity and elation。
She told Richard so； and he said； kindly； that he thought a good deal
of that she complained of arose from bodily weariness。
This hurt her a little； but when he said； 〃I think that the blessings
of St。 Andrew's Day helped us through what was to follow；〃 she owned
that it had indeed been so； and added； 〃I am going to work again！
Tell me what will be most useful to you at Cocksmoor。〃
Sick at heart as she was； she bravely set herself to appropriate the
hours now left vacant； and manfully walked with Richard and Harry to
church at Cocksmoor on St。 Stephen's Day； but the church brought back
the sense of contrast。 Next； she insisted on fulfilling their
intention of coming home by Abbotstoke to hear how Flora was； when
the unfavourable account only added lead to the burden that weighed
her down。 Though they were sent home in the carriage； she was so
completely spent； that the effect of returning home to her room；
without its dear inhabitant； was quite overwhelming； and she sat on
her bed for half an hour； struggling with repinings。 She came
downstairs without having gained the victory； and was so physically
overcome with lassitude； that Richard insisted on her lying on the
sofa； and leaving everything to him and Mary。
Richard seemed to make her his object in life； and was an unspeakable
help and comforter to her； not only by taking every care for her for
her sake； but by turning to her as his own friend and confidante； the
best able to replace what they had lost。 There were many plans to be
put in operation for Cocksmoor； on which much consultation was
needed； though every word reminded them sadly of Margaret's ever
ready interest in those schemes。 It was very unlike Ethel's vision
of the first weeks of St。 Andrew's Church； but it might be safer for
her than that aught should tempt her to say； 〃See what my
perseverance has wrought！〃 Perhaps her Margaret had begun to admire
her too much to be her safest confidanteat any rate； it was good
still to sow in tears； rather than on earth to reap in confident joy。
Norman was as brotherly and kind as possible； but it was one of the
dreary feelings of those days； that Ethel then first became aware of
the difference that his engagement had made； and saw that he resorted
elsewhere for sympathy。 She was not jealous； and acquiesced
submissively and resolutely； but they had been so much to each other；
that it was a trial； especially at such a time as this； when freshly
deprived of Margaret。
Norman's own prospect was not cheerful。 He had received a letter
from New Zealand； begging him to hasten his coming out； as there was
educational work much wanting him； and； according to his original
wish； he could be ordained there in the autumnal Ember Week。
He was in much perplexity； since； according to this request； he ought
to sail with his aunt in the last week of February； and he knew not
how to reconcile the conflicting claims。
Meta was not long in finding out the whole of his trouble； as they
paced up and down the terrace together on a frosty afternoon。
〃You will go！〃 was her first exclamation。
〃I ought；〃 said Norman； 〃I believe I ought； and if it had only been
at any other time； it would have been easy。 My aunt's company would
have been such a comfort for you。〃
〃It cannot be helped；〃 said Meta。
〃Considering the circumstances；〃 began Norman； with lingering looks
at the little humming…bird on his arm； 〃I believe I should be
justified in waiting till such time as you could go with me。 I could
see what Mr。 Wilmot thinks。〃
〃You don't think so yourself；〃 said Meta。 〃Nobody else can give a
judgment。 In a thing like this； asking is； what you once called；
seeking opinions as Balaam inquired。〃
〃Turning my words against me？〃 said Norman； smiling。 〃Still； Meta；
perhaps older heads would be fitter to judge what would be right for
a little person not far off。〃
〃She can be the best judge of that herself；〃 said Meta。 〃Norman；〃
and her dark eyes were steadfastly fixed； 〃I always resolved that；
with God's help； I would not be a stumbling…block in the way of your
call to your work。 I will not。 Go out nowperhaps you will be
freer for it without me； and I suppose I have a longer apprenticeship
to serve to all sorts of things before I come to help you。〃
〃Oh； Meta； you are a rebuke to me！〃
〃What？ when I am going to stay by my own fireside？〃 said Meta； trying
to laugh； but not very successfully。 〃Seriously； I have much to do
here。 When poor Flora gets well； she must be spared all exertion for
a long time to come； and I flatter myself that they want me at
Stoneborough sometimes。 If your father can bear to spare you； there
is no doubt that you ought to go。〃
〃My father is as unselfish as you are； Meta。 But I cannot speak to
him until he is more easy about Flora。 We always think the required
sacrifice the hardest； but I must own that I could not grieve if he
laid his commands on me to wait till the autumn。〃
〃Oh； that would make it a duty and all easy；〃 said Meta； smiling；
〃but I don't think he will； and Aunt Flora will be only too glad to
carry you out without encumbrance。〃
〃Has not Aunt Flora come to her senses about you？〃
〃I believe she would rather I belonged to any of her nephews but you。
She is such a dear； sincere； kind…hearted person； and we are so
comfortable together； that it will be quite like home to come out to
her！ I mean there； to convince her that I can be of something like
use。〃
Meta talked so as to brighten an