bad。〃
Norman knew young Lake； who had been a senior boy when he first went
to school； was a Randall scholar； and had borne an excellent
character； and highly distinguished himself at the university。 And
now； by all accounts； he seemed to be dyingin the height of honour
and general esteem。 Dr。 May went into the house； the old man took
the horse； and Norman lingered under the trees in the churchyard；
watching the white curtains now and then puffed by the fitful summer
breeze； as he lay on the turf in the shade； under the influence of
the gentle sadness around； resting； mind and body； from the tossing
tumultuous passionate sensations that had kept him restless and
miserable through the hot night。
He waited longone hour； two hours had passed away； but he was not
impatient； and hardly knew how long the time had been before his
father and Mr。 Lake came out of the house together； and； after they
parted； Dr。 May summoned him。 He of course asked first for the
patient。 〃Not quite so hopeless as at first；〃 and the reasons for
having been kept so long were detailed； with many circumstances of
the youth's illness； and the parents' resignation； by which Dr。 May
was still too deeply touched to have room in his mind for anything
besides。
They were more than half…way home； and a silence had succeeded the
conversation about the Lake family； when Norman spoke：
〃Papa； I have been thinking about it； and I believe it would be
better to let it alone； if you please。〃
〃Not apply to Dr。 Hoxton！〃 exclaimed his father。
〃Well； I think not。 I have been considering it； and it does hardly
seem to me the right thing。 You see； if I had not you close at hand；
this could never be explained； and it seems rather hard upon
Anderson； who has no father； and the other fellows； who have theirs
farther off〃
〃Right； Norman； that is what my father before me always said； and the
way I have always acted myself； much better let a few trifles go on
not just as one would wish； than be for ever interfering。 But I
really think this is a case for it； and I don't think you ought to
let yourself be influenced by the fear of any party…spirit。〃
〃It is not only that； papaI have been thinking a good deal to…day；
and there are other reasons。 Of course I should wish Dr。 Hoxton to
know that I spoke the truth about that walk； and I hope you will let
him know； as I appealed to you。 But； on cooler thoughts； I don't
believe Dr。 Hoxton could seriously suspect me of such a thing as
that； and it was not on that ground that I am turned down； but that I
did not keep up sufficient discipline； and allowed the outrage； as he
calls it。 Now； you know； that is； after a fashion； true。 If I had
not gone on like an ass the other day； and incited them to pull down
the fences； they would not have done it afterwards； and perhaps I
ought to have kept on guard longer。 It was my fault； and we can't
deny it。〃
Dr。 May made a restless； reluctant movement。 〃Well； well； I suppose
it wasbut it was just as much Harvey Anderson'sand is he to get
the scholarship because he has added meanness to the rest？〃
〃He was not dux；〃 said Norman； with a sigh。 〃It was more shabby than
I thought was even in him。 But I don't know that the feeling about
him is not one reason。 There has always been a rivalry and
bitterness between us two； and if I were to get the upper hand now；
by means not in the usual course； such as the fellows would think ill
of； it would be worse than ever； and I should always feel guilty and
ashamed to look at him。〃
〃Over…refining； Norman；〃 muttered Dr。 May。
〃Besides； don't you remember； when his father died； how glad you and
everyone were to get him a nomination； and it was said that if he
gained a scholarship it would be such a relief to poor Mrs。 Anderson？
Now he has this chance； it does seem hard to deprive her of it。 I
should not like to know that I had done so。〃
〃Whew！〃 the doctor gave a considering whistle。
〃You could not make it straight； papa； without explaining about the
dealing with Ballhatchet； and that would be unfair to them all； even
the old rogue himself； for I promised to say nothing about former
practices； as long as he did not renew them。〃
〃Well！ I don't want to compromise you； Norman。 You know your own
ground best； but I don't like it at all。 You don't know the
humiliation of disgrace。 Those who have thought highly of you； now
thinking you changedI don't know how to bear it for you。〃
〃I don't mind anything while you trust me；〃 said Norman； eagerly；
〃not much I mean； except Mr。 Wilmot。 You must judge； papa； and do as
you please。〃
〃No； you must judge； Norman。 Your confidence in me ought not to be a
restraint。 It has always been an understood thing that what you say
at home is as if it had not been said； as regards my dealings with
the masters。〃
〃I know； papa。 Well； I'll tell you what brought me to this。 I
tumbled about all night in a rage； when I thought how they had served
me； and of Hoxton's believing it all； and how he might only half give
in to your representation； and then I gloried in Anderson's coming
down from his height； and being seen in his true colours。 So it went
on till morning came； and I got up。 You know you gave me my mother's
little 'Thomas a Kempis'。 I always read a bit every morning。 To…day
it was； 'Of four things that bring much inward peace'。 And what do
you think they were？
'Be desirous； my son； to do the will of another
rather than thine own。
Choose always to have less rather than more。
Seek always the lowest place； and to be inferior
to everyone。
Wish always and pray that the will of God may be
wholly fulfilled in thee。'
I liked them the more； because it was just like her last reading with
us； and like that letter。 Well； then I wondered as I lay on the
grass at Groveswood； whether she would have thought it best for me to
be reinstated； and I found out that I should have been rather afraid
of what you might say when she had talked it over with you。〃
Dr。 May smiled a little at the simplicity with which this last was
said； but his smile ended in one of his heavy sighs。 〃So you took
her for your counsellor； my boy。 That was the way to find out what
was right。〃
〃Well； there was something in the place and； in watching poor Lake's
windows； that made me not able to dwell so much on getting on； and
having prizes and scholarships。 I thought that caring for those had
been driven out of me； and you know I never felt as if it were my
right when I was made dux； but now I find it is all come back。 It
does not do for me to be first； I have been what she called elated；
and been more peremptory than need with the lower boys； and gone on
in my old way with Richard； and so I suppose this disgrace has come
to punish me。 I wish it were not disgrace； because of our name at
school； and because it will vex Harry so much； but since it is come；
considering all things； I suppose I ought not to struggle to justify
myself at other people's expense。〃
His eyes were so dazzled with tears that he could hardly see to
drive； nor did his father speak at first。 〃I can't say anything
against it； Norman； but I am sorry； and one thing more you should
consider。 If Dr。 Hoxton should view this absurd business in the way
he seems to do； it will stand in your way for ever in testimonials；
if you try for anything else。〃
〃Do you think it will interfere with my having a Confirmation
ticket？〃
〃Why no； I should not thinksuch a boyish escapade could be no
reason for refusing you one。〃
〃Very well then； it had better rest。 If there should be any
difficulty about my being confirmed； of course we will explain it。〃
〃I wish every one showed themselves as well prepared！〃 half muttered
the doctor； then； after long musing； 〃Well； Norman； I give up the
scholarship。 Poor Mrs。 Anderson wants it more than we do； and if the
boy is a shabby fellow the more he wants a decent education。 But
what do you say to this？ I make Hoxton do you full justice； and
reinstate you in your proper place； and then I take you away at once…
…send you to a tutoranything； till the end of the long vacation。〃
〃Thank you；〃 said Norman； pausing。 〃I don't know； papa。 I am very
much obliged to you； but I think it would hardly do。 You would be
uncomfortable at seeming to quarrel with Dr。 Hoxton； and it would be
hardly creditable for me to go off in anger。〃
〃You are right； I believe；〃 said Dr。 May。 〃You judge wisely； though
I should not have ventured to ask it of you。 But what is to become
of the discipline of the school？ Is that all to go to the dogs？〃
〃I could not do anything with them if I were restored in this way；
they would be more set against me。 It is bad enough as it is； but；
even for my own peace； I believe it is better to leave it alone。 All
my comfort in school is over； I know！〃 and he sighed deeply。
〃It is a most untoward business！〃 said the doctor。 〃I am very sorry
your schooldays should be cloudedbut it can't be helped； and you
will work yourself into a character again。 You are full young； and
can stay for the next Randall。〃
Norman felt as if； while his father looked at him as he now did； the
rest of the world were nothing to him； but； perhaps； the driving past
the school brought him to a different mind； for he walked into the
house slowly and dejectedly。
He told his own story to Ethel； in the garden； not without much
difficulty； so indignant were her exclamations； and it was impossible
to make her see that his father's interference would put him in an
awkward position among the boys。 She would argue vehemently that she
could not bear Mr。 Wilmot to think ill of him； that it was a great
shame of Dr。 Hoxton； and that it was dreadful to let such a boy as
Harvey Anderson go unpunished。 〃I really do think it is quite wrong
of you to give up your chance of doing good； and leave him in his
evil ways！〃 That was all the comfort she gave Norman； and she walked
in to pour out a furious grumbling upon Margaret。
Dr。 May had been telling the elder ones； and they were in
conversation after he had left themMargaret talking with animation；
and Flora sit