half a life-time ago- 第7部分

stumbled；　and　shambled　home；　buzzing　with　his　lips　all　the　time。　　She

never　missed　him。　　He　came　back　in　a　trice；　bringing　with　him　his

cherished　paper　windmill；　bought　on　that　fatal　day　when　Michael　had

taken　him　into　Kendal　to　have　his　doom　of　perpetual　idiocy

pronounced。　　He　thrust　it　into　Susan's　face；　her　hands；　her　lap；

regardless　of　the　injury　his　frail　plaything　thereby　received。　　He

leapt　before　her　to　think　how　he　had　cured　all　heart…sorrow；　buzzing

louder　than　ever。　　Susan　looked　up　at　him；　and　that　glance　of　her　sad

eyes　sobered　him。　　He　began　to　whimper；　he　knew　not　why：　　and　she

now；　comforter　in　her　turn；　tried　to　soothe　him　by　twirling　his

windmill。　　But　it　was　broken；　it　made　no　noise；　it　would　not　go

round。　　This　seemed　to　afflict　Susan　more　than　him。　　She　tried　to

make　it　right；　although　she　saw　the　task　was　hopeless；　and　while　she

did　so；　the　tears　rained　down　unheeded　from　her　bent　head　on　the

paper　toy。



〃It　won't　do；〃　said　she；　at　last。　　〃It　will　never　do　again。〃　　And；

somehow；　she　took　the　accident　and　her　words　as　omens　of　the　love

that　was　broken；　and　that　she　feared　could　never　be　pieced　together

more。　　She　rose　up　and　took　Willie's　hand；　and　the　two　went　slowly

into　the　house。



To　her　surprise；　Michael　Hurst　sat　in　the　house…place。　　House…place

is　a　sort　of　better　kitchen；　where　no　cookery　is　done；　but　which　is

reserved　for　state　occasions。　　Michael　had　gone　in　there　because　he

was　accompanied　by　his　only　sister；　a　woman　older　than　himself；　who

was　well　married　beyond　Keswick；　and　who　now　came　for　the　first　time

to　make　acquaintance　with　Susan。　　Michael　had　primed　his　sister　with

his　wishes　regarding　Will；　and　the　position　in　which　he　stood　with

Susan；　and　arriving　at　Yew　Nook　in　the　absence　of　the　latter；　he　had

not　scrupled　to　conduct　his　sister　into　the　guest…room；　as　he　held

Mrs。　Gale's　worldly　position　in　respect　and　admiration；　and　therefore

wished　her　to　be　favourably　impressed　with　all　the　signs　of　property

which　he　was　beginning　to　consider　as　Susan's　greatest　charms。　　He

had　secretly　said　to　himself；　that　if　Eleanor　Hebthwaite　and　Susan

Dixon　were　equal　in　point　of　riches；　he　would　sooner　have　Eleanor　by

far。　　He　had　begun　to　consider　Susan　as　a　termagant；　and　when　he

thought　of　his　intercourse　with　her；　recollections　of　her　somewhat

warm　and　hasty　temper　came　far　more　readily　to　his　mind　than　any

remembrance　of　her　generous；　loving　nature。



And　now　she　stood　face　to　face　with　him；　her　eyes　tear…swollen；　her

garments　dusty；　and　here　and　there　torn　in　consequence　of　her　rapid

progress　through　the　bushy　by…paths。　　She　did　not　make　a　favourable

impression　on　the　well…clad　Mrs。　Gale；　dressed　in　her　best　silk　gown；

and　therefore　unusually　susceptible　to　the　appearance　of　another。

Nor　were　Susan's　manners　gracious　or　cordial。　　How　could　they　be；

when　she　remembered　what　had　passed　between　Michael　and　herself　the

last　time　they　met？　　For　her　penitence　had　faded　away　under　the　daily

disappointment　of　these　last　weary　weeks。



But　she　was　hospitable　in　substance。　　She　bade　Peggy　hurry　on　the

kettle；　and　busied　herself　among　the　tea…cups；　thankful　that　the

presence　of　Mrs。　Gale；　as　a　stranger；　would　prevent　the　immediate

recurrence　to　the　one　subject　which　she　felt　must　be　present　in

Michael's　mind　as　well　as　in　her　own。　　But　Mrs。　Gale　was　withheld　by

no　such　feelings　of　delicacy。　　She　had　come　ready…primed　with　the

case；　and　had　undertaken　to　bring　the　girl　to　reason。　　There　was　no

time　to　be　lost。　　It　had　been　prearranged　between　the　brother　and

sister　that　he　was　to　stroll　out　into　the　farm…yard　before　his　sister

introduced　the　subject；　but　she　was　so　confident　in　the　success　of

her　arguments；　that　she　must　needs　have　the　triumph　of　a　victory　as

soon　as　possible；　and；　accordingly；　she　brought　a　hail…storm　of　good

reasons　to　bear　upon　Susan。　　Susan　did　not　reply　for　a　long　time；　she

was　so　indignant　at　this　intermeddling　of　a　stranger　in　the　deep

family　sorrow　and　shame。　　Mrs。　Gale　thought　she　was　gaining　the　day；

and　urged　her　arguments　more　pitilessly。　　Even　Michael　winced　for

Susan；　and　wondered　at　her　silence。　　He　shrank　out　of　sight；　and　into

the　shadow；　hoping　that　his　sister　might　prevail；　but　annoyed　at　the

hard　way　in　which　she　kept　putting　the　case。



Suddenly　Susan　turned　round　from　the　occupation　she　had　pretended　to

be　engaged　in；　and　said　to　him　in　a　low　voice；　which　yet　not　only

vibrated　itself；　but　made　its　hearers　thrill　through　all　their

obtuseness：



〃Michael　Hurst！　does　your　sister　speak　truth；　think　you？〃



Both　women　looked　at　him　for　his　answer；　Mrs。　Gale　without　anxiety；

for　had　she　not　said　the　very　words　they　had　spoken　together　before？

had　she　not　used　the　very　arguments　that　he　himself　had　suggested？

Susan；　on　the　contrary；　looked　to　his　answer　as　settling　her　doom　for

life；　and　in　the　gloom　of　her　eyes　you　might　have　read　more　despair

than　hope。



He　shuffled　his　position。　　He　shuffled　in　his　words。



〃What　is　it　you　ask？　　My　sister　has　said　many　things。〃



〃I　ask　you；〃　said　Susan；　trying　to　give　a　crystal　clearness　both　to

her　expressions　and　her　pronunciation；　〃if；　knowing　as　you　do　how

Will　is　afflicted；　you　will　help　me　to　take　that　charge　of　him　which

I　promised　my　mother　on　her　death…bed　that　I　would　do；　and　which

means；　that　I　shall　keep　him　always　with　me；　and　do　all　in　my　power

to　make　his　life　happy。　　If　you　will　do　this；　I　will　be　your　wife；　if

not；　I　remain　unwed。〃



〃But　he　may　get　dangerous；　he　can　be　but　a　trouble；　his　being　here　is

a　pain　to　you；　Susan；　not　a　pleasure。〃



〃I　ask　you　for　either　yes　or　no；〃　said　she；　a　little　contempt　at　his

evading　her　question　mingling　with　her　tone。　　He　perceived　it；　and　it

nettled　him。



〃And　I　have　told　you。　　I　answered　your　question　the　last　time　I　was

here。　　I　said　I　would　ne'er　keep　house　with　an　idiot；　no　more　I　will。

So　now　you've　gotten　your　answer。〃



〃I　have；〃　said　Susan。　　And　she　sighed　deeply。



〃Come；　now；〃　said　Mrs。　Gale；　encouraged　by　the　sigh；　〃one　would　think

you　don't　love　Michael；　Susan；　to　be　so　stubborn　in　yielding　to　what

I'm　sure　would　be　best　for　the　lad。〃



〃Oh！　she　does　not　care　for　me；〃　said　Michael。　　〃I　don't　believe　she

ever　did。〃



〃Don't　I？　　Haven't　I？〃　asked　Susan；　her　eyes　blazing　out　fire。　　She

left　the　room　directly；　and　sent　Peggy　in　to　make　the　tea；　and

catching　at　Will；　who　was　lounging　about　in　the　kitchen；　she　went　up…

stairs　with　him　and　bolted　herself　in；　straining　the　boy　to　her

heart；　and　keeping　almost　breathless；　lest　any　noise　she　made　might

cause　him　to　break　out　into　the　howls　and　sounds　which　she　could　not

bear　that　those　below　should　hear。



A　knock　at　the　door。　　It　was　Peggy。



〃He　wants　for　to　see　you；　to　wish　you　good…bye。〃



〃I　cannot　come。　　Oh；　Peggy；　send　them　away。〃



It　was　her　only　cry　for　sympathy；　and　the　old　servant　understood　it。

She　sent　them　away；　somehow；　not　politely；　as　I　have　been　given　to

understand。



〃Good　go　with　them；〃　said　Peggy；　as　she　grimly　watched　their

retreating　figures。　　〃We're　rid　of　bad　rubbish；　anyhow。〃　　And　she

turned　into　the　house；　with　the　intention　of　making　ready　some

refreshment　for　Susan；　after　her　hard　day　at　the　market；　and　her

harder　evening。　　But　in　the　kitchen；　to　which　she　passed　through　the

empty　house…place；　making　a　face　of　contemptuous　dislike　at　the　used

tea…cups　and　fragments　of　a　meal　yet　standing　there；　she　found　Susan；

with　her　sleeves　tucked　up　and　her　working　apron　on；　busied　in

preparing　to　make　clap…bread；　one　of　the　hardest　and　hottest　domestic

tasks　of　a　Daleswoman。　　She　looked　up；　and　first　met；　and　then

avoided　Peggy's　eye；　it　was　too　full　of　sympathy。　　Her　own　cheeks

were　flushed；　and　her　own　eyes　were　dry　and　burning。



〃Where's　the　board；　Peggy？　　We　need　clap…bread；　and；　I　reckon；　I've

time　to　get　through　with　it　to…night。〃　　Her　voice　had　a　sharp；　dry

tone　in　it；　and　her　motions　a　jerking　angularity　about　them。



Peggy　said　nothing；　but　fetched　her　all　that　she　needed。　　Susan　beat

her　cakes　thin　with　vehement　force。　　As　she　stooped　over　them；

regardless　even　of　the　task　in　which　she　seemed　so　much　occupied；　she

was　surprised　by　a　touch　on　her　mouth　of　somethingwhat　she　did　not

see　at　first。　　It　was　a　cup　of　tea；　delicately　sweetened　and　cooled；

and　held　to　her　lips；　when　exactly　ready；　by　the　faithful　old　woman。

Susan　held　it　off　a　hand's　breath；　and　looked　into　Peggy's　eyes；

while　her　own　filled　with　the　strange　relief　of　tears。



〃Lass！〃　said　Peggy；　solemnly；　〃thou　hast　done　well。　　It　is　not　long

to　bide；　and　then　the　end　will　come。〃



〃But　you　are　very　old；　Peggy；〃　said　Susan；　quivering。



〃It　is　but　a　day　sin'　I　were　young；〃　replied　Peggy；　but　she　stopped

the　conversation　by　again　pushing　the　cup　with　gentle　force　to

Susan's　dry　and　thirsty　lips。　　When　she　had　drunken　she　fell　again　to

her　labour；　Peggy　heating　the　hearth；　and　doing　all　that　she　knew

would　be　required；　but　never　speaking　another　word。　　Willie　basked

close　to　the　fire；　enjoying　the　animal　luxury　of　warmth；　for　the

autumn　evenings　were　beginning　to　be　chilly。　　It　was　one　o'clock

before　they　thought　of　going　to　bed　on　that　memorable　night。







CHAPTER　IV。







The　vehemence　with　which　Susan　Dixon　threw　herself　into　occupation

could　not　last　for　ever。　　Times　of　languor　and　remembrance　would

cometimes　when　she　recurred　with　a　passionate　yearning　to　bygone

days；　the　recollection　of　which　was　so　vivid　and　delicious；　that　it

seemed　as　though　it　were　the　reality；　and　the　present　bleak　bareness

the　dream。　　She　smiled　anew　at　the　magical　sweetness　of　some　touch　or

tone　which　in　memory　she　felt　and　heard；　and　drank　the　delicious　cup

of　poison；　although　at　the　very　time　she　knew　what　the　consequences

of　racking　pain　would　be。



〃This　time；　last　year；〃　thought　she；　〃we　went　nutting　togetherthis

very　day　last　year；　just　s