He might scream as be pleased。 Willy nilly； I folded him to my
breast； I pressed him there； I kissed his ugly mug as it had never
been kissed before and would never be kissed again； and in the
doing so knocked his wig awry and his hat off。 He bleated in my
embrace； so bleats the sheep in the arms of the butcher。 The whole
thing； on looking back； appears incomparably reckless and absurd； I
no better than a madman for offering to advance on Dudgeon； and he
no better than a fool for not shooting me while I was about it。
But all's well that ends well； or； as the people in these days kept
singing and whistling on the streets：…
'There's a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft
And looks out for the life of poor Jack。'
'There！' said I； releasing him a little； but still keeping my hands
on his shoulders； 'JE VOUS AI BEL ET BIEN EMBRASSE … and； as you
would say； there is another French word。' With his wig over one
eye； he looked incredibly rueful and put out。 'Cheer up； Dudgeon；
the ordeal is over； you shall be embraced no more。 But do； first
of all； for God's…sake； put away your pistol； you handle it as if
you were a cockatrice； some time or other； depend upon it； it will
certainly go off。 Here is your hat。 No； let me put it on square；
and the wig before it。 Never suffer any stress of circumstances to
come between you and the duty you owe to yourself。 If you have
nobody else to dress for； dress for God！
'Put your wig straight
On your bald pate；
Keep your chin scraped；
And your figure draped。
Can you match me that？ The whole duty of man in a quatrain！ And
remark； I do not set up to be a professional bard； these are the
outpourings of a DILETTANTE。'
'But； my dear sir！' he exclaimed。
'But； my dear sir！' I echoed； 'I will allow no man to interrupt the
flow of my ideas。 Give me your opinion on my quatrain； or I vow we
shall have a quarrel of it。'
'Certainly you are quite an original；' he said。
'Quite；' said I； 'and I believe I have my counterpart before me。'
'Well； for a choice；' says he； smiling； 'and whether for sense or
poetry； give me
'〃Worth makes the man； and want of it the fellow：
The rest is all but leather and prunello。〃'
'Oh； but that's not fair … that's Pope！ It's not original；
Dudgeon。 Understand me；' said I； wringing his breast…button； 'the
first duty of all poetry is to be mine； sir … mine。 Inspiration
now swells in my bosom； because … to tell you the plain truth； and
descend a little in style … I am devilish relieved at the turn
things have taken。 So； I dare say； are you yourself； Dudgeon； if
you would only allow it。 And A PROPOS； let me ask you a home
question。 Between friends； have you ever fired that pistol？'
'Why； yes； sir；' he replied。 'Twice … at hedgesparrows。'
'And you would have fired at me； you bloody…minded man？' I cried。
'If you go to that； you seemed mighty reckless with your stick；'
said Dudgeon。
'Did I indeed？ Well； well； 'tis all past history； ancient as King
Pharamond … which is another French word； if you cared to
accumulate more evidence；' says I。 'But happily we are now the
best of friends； and have all our interests in common。'
'You go a little too fast； if you'll excuse me； Mr。 …： I do not
know your name； that I am aware；' said Dudgeon。
'No； to be sure！' said I。 'Never heard of it！'
'A word of explanation … ' he began。
'No； Dudgeon！' I interrupted。 'Be practical； I know what you want；
and the name of it is supper。 RIEN NE CREUSE COMME L'EMOTION。 I
am hungry myself； and yet I am more accustomed to warlike
palpitations than you； who are but a hunter of hedgesparrows。 Let
me look at your face critically： your bill of fare is three slices
of cold rare roast beef； a Welsh rabbit； a pot of stout； and a
glass or two of sound tawny port； old in bottle … the right milk of
Englishmen。' Methought there seemed a brightening in his eye and a
melting about his mouth at this enumeration。
'The night is young；' I continued； 'not much past eleven； for a
wager。 Where can we find a good inn？ And remark that I say GOOD；
for the port must be up to the occasion … not a headache in a pipe
of it。'
'Really； sir；' he said； smiling a little； 'you have a way of
carrying things … '
'Will nothing make you stick to the subject？' I cried； 'you have
the most irrelevant mind！ How do you expect to rise in your
profession？ The inn？'
'Well； I will say you are a facetious gentleman！' said he。 'You
must have your way； I see。 We are not three miles from Bedford by
this very road。'
'Done！' cried I。 'Bedford be it！'
I tucked his arm under mine； possessed myself of the valise； and
walked him off unresisting。 Presently we came to an open piece of
country lying a thought downhill。 The road was smooth and free of
ice； the moonshine thin and bright over the meadows and the
leafless trees。 I was now honestly done with the purgatory of the
covered cart； I was close to my great…uncle's； I had no more fear
of Mr。 Dudgeon； which were all grounds enough for jollity。 And I
was aware； besides； of us two as of a pair of tiny and solitary
dolls under the vast frosty cupola of the midnight； the rooms
decked； the moon burnished； the least of the stars lighted； the
floor swept and waxed； and nothing wanting but for the band to
strike up and the dancing to begin。 In the exhilaration of my
heart I took the music on myself …
'Merrily danced the Quaker's wife；
And merrily danced the Quaker。'
I broke into that animated and appropriate air； clapped my arm
about Dudgeon's waist； and away down the hill at a dancing step！
He hung back a little at the start； but the impulse of the tune；
the night； and my example； were not to be resisted。 A man made of
putty must have danced； and even Dudgeon showed himself to be a
human being。 Higher and higher were the capers that we cut； the
moon repeated in shadow our antic footsteps and gestures； and it
came over my mind of a sudden … really like balm … what appearance
of man I was dancing with； what a long bilious countenance he had
shown under his shaven pate； and what a world of trouble the rascal
had given me in the immediate past。
Presently we began to see the lights of Bedford。 My Puritanic
companion stopped and disengaged himself。
'This is a trifle INFRA DIG。； sir； is it not？' said he。 'A party
might suppose we had been drinking。'
'And so you shall be； Dudgeon；' said I。 'You shall not only be
drinking； you old hypocrite； but you shall be drunk … dead drunk；
sir … and the boots shall put you to bed！ We'll warn him when we
go in。 Never neglect a precaution； never put off till to…morrow
what you can do to…day！'
But he had no more frivolity to complain of。 We finished our stage
and came to the inn…door with decorum； to find the house still
alight and in a bustle with many late arrivals； to give our orders
with a prompt severity which ensured obedience； and to be served
soon after at a side…table； close to the fire and in a blaze of
candle…light； with such a meal as I had been dreaming of for days
past。 For days； you are to remember； I had been skulking in the
covered cart； a prey to cold； hunger； and an accumulation of
discomforts that might have daunted the most brave； and the white
table napery； the bright crystal； the reverberation of the fire；
the red curtains； the Turkey carpet； the portraits on the coffee…
room wall； the placid faces of the two or three late guests who
were silently prolonging the pleasures of digestion； and （last； but
not by any means least） a glass of an excellent light dry port； put
me in a humour only to be described as heavenly。 The thought of
the Colonel； of how he would have enjoyed this snug room and
roaring fire； and of his cold grave in the wood by Market Bosworth；
lingered on my palate； AMARI ALIQUID； like an after…taste； but was
not able … I say it with shame … entirely to dispel my self…
complacency。 After all； in this world every dog hangs by its own
tail。 I was a free adventurer； who had just brought to a
successful end … or； at least； within view of it … an adventure
very difficult and alarming； and I looked across at Mr。 Dudgeon； as
the port rose to his cheeks； and a smile； that was semi…
confidential and a trifle foolish； began to play upon his leathery
features； not only with composure； but with a suspicion of
kindness。 The rascal had been brave； a quality for which I would
value the devil； and if he had been pertinacious in the beginning；
he had more than made up for it before the end。
'And now； Dudgeon； to explain；' I began。 'I know your master； he
knows me； and he knows and approves of my errand。 So much I may
tell you； that I am on my way to Amersham Place。'
'Oho！' quoth Dudgeon； 'I begin to see。'
'I am heartily glad of it；' said I； passing the bottle； 'because
that is about all I can tell you。 You must take my word for the
remainder。 Either believe me or don't。 If you don't； let's take a
chaise； you can carry me to…morrow to High Holborn； and confront me
with Mr。 Romaine； the result of which will be to set your mind at
rest … and to make the holiest disorder in your master's plans。 If
I judge you aright （for I find you a shrewd fellow）； this will not
be at all to your mind。 You know what a subordinate gets by
officiousness； if I can trust my memory； old Romaine has not at all
the face that I should care to see in anger； and I venture to
predict surprising results upon your weekly salary … if you are
paid by the week； that is。 In short； let me go free； and 'tis an
end of the matter； take me to London； and 'tis only a beginning …
and； by my opinion； a beginning of troubles。 You c