breath。 I had passed an agreeable afternoon and evening; and I had
apparently escaped scot free。 Alas! when I looked into the
kitchen; there was my monkey; drunk as a lord; toppling on the edge
of the dresser; and performing on the flageolet to an audience of
the house lasses and some neighbouring ploughmen。
I routed him promptly from his perch; stuck his hat on; put his
instrument in his pocket; and set off with him for Edinburgh。
His limbs were of paper; his mind quite in abeyance; I must uphold
and guide him; prevent his frantic dives; and set him continually
on his legs again。 At first he sang wildly; with occasional
outbursts of causeless laughter。 Gradually an inarticulate
melancholy succeeded; he wept gently at times; would stop in the
middle of the road; say firmly 'No; no; no;' and then fall on his
back: or else address me solemnly as 'M'lord' and fall on his face
by way of variety。 I am afraid I was not always so gentle with the
little pig as I might have been; but really the position was
unbearable。 We made no headway at all; and I suppose we were
scarce gotten a mile away from Cramond; when the whole SENATUS
ACADEMICUS was heard hailing; and doubling the pace to overtake
its。
Some of them were fairly presentable; and they were all Christian
martyrs compared to Rowley; but they were in a frolicsome and
rollicking humour that promised danger as we approached the town。
They sang songs; they ran races; they fenced with their walking…
sticks and umbrellas; and; in spite of this violent exercise; the
fun grew only the more extravagant with the miles they traversed。
Their drunkenness was deep…seated and permanent; like fire in a
peat; or rather … to be quite just to them … it was not so much to
be called drunkenness at all; as the effect of youth and high
spirits … a fine night; and the night young; a good road under
foot; and the world before you!
I had left them once somewhat unceremoniously; I could not attempt
it a second time; and; burthened as I was with Mr。 Rowley; I was
really glad of assistance。 But I saw the lamps of Edinburgh draw
near on their hill…top with a good deal of uneasiness; which
increased; after we had entered the lighted streets; to positive
alarm。 All the passers…by were addressed; some of them by name。 A
worthy man was stopped by Forbes。 'Sir;' said he; 'in the name of
the Senatus of the University of Cramond; I confer upon you the
degree of LL。D。;' and with the words he bonneted him。 Conceive the
predicament of St。 Ives; committed to the society of these
outrageous youths; in a town where the police and his cousin were
both looking for him! So far; we had pursued our way unmolested;
although raising a clamour fit to wake the dead; but at last; in
Abercromby Place; I believe … at least it was a crescent of highly
respectable houses fronting on a garden … Byfield and I; having
fallen somewhat in the rear with Rowley; came to a simultaneous
halt。 Our ruffians were beginning to wrench off bells and door…
plates!
'Oh; I say!' says Byfield; 'this is too much of a good thing!
Confound it; I'm a respectable man … a public character; by George!
I can't afford to get taken up by the police。'
'My own case exactly;' said I。
'Here; let's bilk them;' said he。
And we turned back and took our way down hill again。
It was none too soon: voices and alarm bells sounded; watchmen here
and there began to spring their rattles; it was plain the
University of Cramond would soon be at blows with the police of
Edinburgh! Byfield and I; running the semi…inanimate Rowley before
us; made good despatch; and did not stop till we were several
streets away; and the hubbub was already softened by distance。
'Well; sir;' said he; 'we are well out of that! Did ever any one
see such a pack of young barbarians?'
'We are properly punished; Mr。 Byfield; we had no business there;'
I replied。
'No; indeed; sir; you may well say that! Outrageous! And my
ascension announced for Friday; you know!' cried the aeronaut。 'A
pretty scandal! Byfield the aeronaut at the police…court! Tut…
tut! Will you be able to get your rascal home; sir? Allow me to
offer you my card。 I am staying at Walker and Poole's Hotel; sir;
where I should be pleased to see you。'
'The pleasure would be mutual; sir;' said I; but I must say my
heart was not in my words; and as I watched Mr。 Byfield departing I
desired nothing less than to pursue the acquaintance
One more ordeal remained for me to pass。 I carried my senseless
load upstairs to our lodging; and was admitted by the landlady in a
tall white nightcap and with an expression singularly grim。 She
lighted us into the sitting…room; where; when I had seated Rowley
in a chair; she dropped me a cast…iron courtesy。 I smelt gunpowder
on the woman。 Her voice; tottered with emotion。
'I give ye nottice; Mr。 Ducie;' said she。 'Dacent folks' houses 。
。 。'
And at that apparently temper cut off her utterance; and she took
herself off without more words。
I looked about me at the room; the goggling Rowley; the
extinguished fire; my mind reviewed the laughable incidents of the
day and night; and I laughed out loud to myself … lonely and
cheerless laughter!。。。。。。。
'As this point the Author's manuscript breaks off'
End
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