every evil deed and every idle word God will bring us into
judgment。 The angel of death is among you and at work in your
very midst。 Are you prepared to receive him？ He has already
killed my body； and now that I can never die I wish there was a
grave for my soul。 I was reassured by a vision that told me I
was safe； but either it was a hallucination； or I have been
betrayed by some spirit。 Last night I still lived； and my body
obeyed my will。 Since then I have experienced death； and with
the resulting increased knowledge comes the loss of all hope；
with keener pangs than I supposed could exist。 Oh； that I had
now their opportunities； that I might write a thesis that should
live forever； and save millions of souls from the anguish of
mine！ Inoculate your mortal bodies with the germs of faith and
mutual love； in a stronger degree than they dwelt in me； lest you
lose the life above。〃
But no one heard him； and he preached in vain。
He again rushed forth； and； after a half…involuntary effort；
found himself in the street before his loved one's home。
Scarcely knowing why； except that it had become nature to wish to
be near her； he stood for a long time opposite her dwelling。
〃O house！〃 he cried； 〃inanimate object that can yet enthral me
so； I stand before your cold front as a suppliant from a very
distant realm； yet in my sadness I am colder than your stones；
more alone than in a desolate place。 She that dwells within you
holds my love。 I long for her shadow or the sound of her step。
I am more wretchedly in love than everI； an impotent； invisible
spirit。 Must I bear this sorrow in addition to my others； in my
fruitless search for rest？ My life will be a waking nightmare；
most bitter irony of fate。〃
The trees swayed above his head； and the moon； in its last
quarter； looked dreamily at him。
〃Ah；〃 thought Ayrault； 〃could I but sleep and be happy！
Drowsiness and weariness； fatigue's grasp is on me； or may
Sylvia's nearness soothe； as her voice has brought me calm！
Quiet I may some day enjoy； but slumber again； never！ I see that
souls in hades must ever have their misdeeds before them。 Happy
man in this world； the repentant's sins are forgiven！ You lose
your care in sleep。 Somnolence and drowsinessbalm of aching
hearts； angels of mercy！ Mortals； how blessed！ until you die；
God sends you this rest。 When I recall summer evenings with
Sylvia； while gentle zephyrs fanned our brows； I would change
Pope's famous line to 'Man never is； but always HAS BEEN
blessed。'〃
A clock in a church…steeple now struck three； the sound ringing
through the still night air。
〃It will soon be time for ghosts to go；〃 thought Ayrault。 〃I
must not haunt her dwelling。〃
There was a light in Sylvia's study； and Ayrault remained
meditatively gazing at it。
〃Happy lamp；〃 he thought； 〃to shed your light on one so fair！
She can see you； and you shine； for her。 You are better off than
I。 Would that her soul might shine for me； as your light shines
for her！ The light of my life has departed。 O that the darkness
were complete！ I am dead；〃 his thoughts ran on； and when the
privilege bitter word！that permits me to remain here has
expired； I must doubtless return to Saturn； and there in
purgatory work out my probation。 But what comfort is it that a
few centuries hence I may be able to revisit my native earth？
The flowers will bloom in the morning light；
And the lark salute the sun；
The earth will continue to roll through space；
And I may be nearer my final grace；
But Sylvia's life…thread will be spun。
〃Even Sylvia's house will be a heap of ruins； or its place will
be taken by something else。 If I had Sylvia； I should care for
nothing； as I have lost her； even this sight； though sweet； must
always bring regret。 I wish； at all events； I might see Sylvia；
if only with these spirit…eyes； since； as a mortal； she may never
gladden my sight again。〃
To his surprise； he now perceived that he could see；
notwithstanding the drawn shades。 Sylvia was at her
writing…desk； in a light…coloured wrapper。 She sat there resting
her head on her hand； looking thoughtful but worried。 Though it
was so late； she had not retired。 The thrush that Ayrault had
often in life admired； and that she had for some reason brought
up…stairs； was silent and asleep。
〃Happy bird！〃 he said； 〃you obtain rest and forgetfulness on
covering your head； but what wing can cover my soul？ I used to
wish I might flutter towards heaven on natural wings like you；
little thrush。 Now I can； indeed； outfly you。 But whatever I do
I'm unhappy； and wherever I go I'm in hell。 What is man in his
helpless； first spiritual state？ He is but a flower； and withers
soon。 Had I； like the bishop； been less blind； and obeyed my
conscience clear； I might have returned to my native earth while
Sylvia still sojourns here； and coming thus by virtue of
development； I should be able to commune with her。
〃What is life？〃 he continued。 〃In the retrospect； nothing。 It
seems to me already as but an infinitesimal point。 Things that
engrossed me； and seemed of such moment； that overshadowed the
duty of obeying my consciencewhat were they； and where？ Ah；
where？ They endured but a moment。 Reality and evanescence
evanescence and reality。〃
The light in Sylvia's room was out now； and in the east he beheld
the dawn。 The ubiquitous grey which he saw at night was invaded
by streams of glorious crimson and blue that reached far up into
the sky。 He gazed at the spectacle； and then once more at that
house in which his love was centred。
〃Would I might be her guardian angel； to guide her in the right
and keep her from all harm！ Sleep on； Sylvia。 Sweet one； sleep。
Yon stars fade beside your eyes。 Your thoughts and your soul are
fairer far than the east in this day's sunrise。 I know what I
have lost。 Ah； desolating knowledge！ for I have read Sylvia's
heart； and know I was loved as truly as I loved。 When Bearwarden
and Cortlandt break her the newsah； God！ will she live； and do
they yet know I am dead？〃
Again came that spasm to shed spirit tears； and had he not known
it impossible he would have thought his heart must break。
The birds twittered； and the light grew； but Ayrault lay with his
face upon the ground。 Finally the spirit of unrest drove him on。
He passed the barred door of his own house； through which he had
entered so often。 It was unchanged； but seemed deserted。 Next；
he went to the water…front； where he had left his yacht。
Invisibly and sadly he stood upon her upper deck； and gazed at
the levers； in response to his touch on which the craft had cleft
the waves； reversed； or turned like a thing of life。
〃'Twas a pretty toy；〃 he mused； 〃and many hours of joy have I had
as I floated through life on board of her。〃
As he moped along he beheld two unkempt Italians having a
piano…organ and a violin。 The music was not fine； but it touched
a chord in Ayrault's breast； for he had waltzed with Sylvia to
that air； and it made his heart ache。
〃Oh； the acuteness of my distress；〃 he cried； 〃the utter depth of
my sorrow！ Can I have no peace in death； no oblivion in the
grave？ I am reminded of my blighted； hopeless love in all kinds
of unexpected ways； by unforeseen trifles。 Oh； would I might；
indeed； die！ May obliteration be my deliverer！〃
〃Poor fellows；〃 he continued； glancing at the Italians； for he
perceived that neither of the players was happy； the pianist was
avaricious； while the violinist's natural and habitual jealousy
destroyed his peace of mind。
〃Unhappiness seems the common lot；〃 thought Ayrault。 〃Earth
cannot give that joy for which we sigh。 Poor fellows！ though you
rack my ears and distress my heart； I cannot help you now。〃
CHAPTER XIII。
THE PRIEST'S SERMON。
It being the first day of the week； the morning air was filled
with chimes from many steeples。
〃Divine service always comforted in life；〃 thought Ayrault；
〃perchance it may do so now； when I have reached the state for
which it tried to prepare me。〃
Accordingly； he moved on with the throng； and soon was ascending
the heights of Morningside Park； after which； he entered the
cathedral。 The priest whose voice had so often thrilled him
stood at his post in his surplice； and the choir had finished the
processional hymn。 During the responses in the litany； and
between the commandments； while the congregation and the choir
sang； he heard their natural voices as of old ascending to the
vaulted roof and arrested there。 He now also heard their
spiritual voices resulting from the earnestness of their prayers。
These were rung through the vaster vault of space； arousing a
spiritual echo beyond the constellations and the nebulae。 The
service； which was that of the Protestant Episcopal Church；
touched him as deeply as usual； after which the rector ascended
the steps to the pulpit。
〃The text； this morning；〃 he began； 〃is from the eighth chapter
of St。 Paul's Epistle to the Romans； at the eighteenth verse：
'For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not
worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed in us。'
Let us suppose that you or I； brethren； should become a free and
disembodied spirit。 A minute vein in the brain bursts； or a clot
forms in the heart。 It may be a mere trifle； some unexpected
thing； yet the career in the flesh is ended； the eternal life of
the liberated spirit begun。 The soul slips from earth's grasp；
as air from our fingers； and finds itself in the frigid；
boundless void of space。 Yet； through some longing this soul
might rejoin us； and； though invisible； might hear the
church…bells ring； and long to recall some one of the many bright
Sunday mornings spent here on earth。 Has a direful misfortune
befallen this brother； or has a slave been set free？ Let us
suppose for a moment that the first has occurred。 'Vanity of
vanities；' said the old preacher。 'Calamity of calamities；' says
the new。 That soul's probationary period is ended； his re