art and affectation Here we have ministers of state； judges；
generals； bishops； projectors； philosophers； wits； poets；
players； chemists； fiddlers； and buffoons。 If he makes any
considerable stay in the place； he is sure of meeting with some
particular friend； whom he did not expect to see； and to me there
is nothing more agreeable than such casual reencounters。 Another
entertainment； peculiar to Bath； arises from the general mixture
of all degrees assembled in our public rooms； without distinction
of rank or fortune。 This is what my uncle reprobates； as a
monstrous jumble of heterogeneous principles； a vile mob of noise
and impertinence； without decency or subordination。 But this
chaos is to me a source of infinite amusement。
I was extremely diverted last ball…night to see the Master of the
Ceremonies leading； with great solemnity； to the upper end of the
room； an antiquated Abigail； dressed in her lady's cast…clothes；
whom he （I suppose） mistook for some countess just arrived at the
Bath。 The ball was opened by a Scotch lord； with a mulatto
heiress from St Christopher's； and the gay colonel Tinsel danced
all the evening with the daughter of an eminent tinman from the
borough of Southwark。 Yesterday morning； at the Pump…room； I saw a
broken…winded Wapping landlady squeeze through a circle of peers；
to salute her brandy…merchant； who stood by the window； propped
upon crutches； and a paralytic attorney of Shoe…lane； in
shuffling up to the bar； kicked the shins of the chancellor of
England； while his lordship； in a cut bob； drank a glass of water
at the pump。 I cannot account for my being pleased with these
incidents； any other way； than by saying they are truly
ridiculous in their own nature； and serve to heighten the humour
in the farce of life； which I am determined to enjoy as long as I
can。
Those follies； that move my uncle's spleen； excite my laughter。
He is as tender as a man without a skin； who cannot bear the
slightest touch without flinching。 What tickles another would
give him torment； and yet he has what we may call lucid
intervals； when he is remarkably facetious Indeed； I never knew
a hypochondriac so apt to be infected with good…humour。 He is the
most risible misanthrope I ever met with。 A lucky joke； or any
ludicrous incident； will set him a…laughing immoderately； even in
one of his most gloomy paroxysms； and； when the laugh is over； he
will curse his own imbecility。 In conversing with strangers； he
betrays no marks of disquiet He is splenetic with his familiars
only； and not even with them； while they keep his attention
employed； but when his spirits are not exerted externally； they
seem to recoil and prey upon himself He has renounced the waters
with execration； but he begins to find a more efficacious； and；
certainly； a much more palatable remedy in the pleasures of
society。 He has discovered some old friends； among the invalids
of Bath； and； in particular； renewed his acquaintance with the
celebrated James Quin； who certainly did not come here to drink
water。 You cannot doubt； but that I had the strongest curiosity
to know this original； and it was gratified by Mr Bramble； who
has had him twice at our house to dinner。
So far as I am able to judge； Quin's character is rather more
respectable than it has been generally represented。 His bon mots
are in every witling's mouth； but many of them have a rank
flavour； which one would be apt to think was derived from a
natural grossness of idea。 I suspect； however； that justice has
not been done the author； by the collectors of those Quiniana；
who have let the best of them slip through their fingers； and
only retained such as were suited to the taste and organs of the
multitude。 How far he may relax in his hours of jollity； I cannot
pretend to say； but his general conversation is conducted by the
nicest rules of Propriety； and Mr James Quin is； certainly； one
of the best bred men in the kingdom。 He is not only a most
agreeable companion but （as I am credibly informed） a very honest
man； highly susceptible of friendship； warm； steady； and even
generous in his attachments； disdaining flattery； and incapable
of meanness and dissimulation。 Were I to judge； however； from
Quin's eye alone； I should take him to be proud； insolent； and
cruel。 There is something remarkably severe and forbidding in his
aspect； and； I have been told； he was ever disposed to insult his
inferiors and dependants。 Perhaps that report has influenced my
opinion of his looks You know we are the fools of prejudice。
Howsoever that may be； I have as yet seen nothing but his
favourable side； and my uncle； who frequently confers with him；
in a corner； declares he is one of the most sensible men he ever
knew He seems to have a reciprocal regard for old Squaretoes；
whom he calls by the familiar name of Matthew； and often reminds
of their old tavern…adventures： on the other hand； Matthew's eyes
sparkle whenever Quin makes his appearance Let him be never so
jarring and discordant； Quin puts him in tune； and； like treble
and bass in the same concert； they make excellent music together 。
T'other day； the conversation turning upon Shakespeare； I could
not help saying； with some emotion； that I would give an hundred
guineas to see Mr Quin act the part of Falstaff； upon which；
turning to me with a smile； 'And I would give a thousand； young
gentleman （said he） that I could gratify your longing。' My uncle
and he are perfectly agreed in their estimate of life； which Quin
says； would stink in his nostrils； if he did not steep it in
claret。
I want to see this phenomenon in his cups； and have almost
prevailed upon uncle to give him a small turtle at the Bear。 In
the mean time； I must entertain you with an incident； that seems
to confirm the judgment of those two cynic philosophers。 I took
the liberty to differ in opinion from Mr Bramble； when he
observed； that the mixture of people in the entertainments of
this place was destructive of all order and urbanity； that it
rendered the plebeians insufferably arrogant and troublesome； and
vulgarized the deportment and sentiments of those who moved in
the upper spheres of life。 He said such a preposterous coalition
would bring us into contempt with all our neighbours； and was
worse； in fact； than debasing the gold coin of the nation。 I
argued； on the contrary； that those plebeians who discovered such
eagerness to imitate the dress and equipage of their superiors；
would likewise； in time； adopt their maxims and their manners； be
polished by their conversation； and refined by their example； but
when I appealed to Mr Quin； and asked if he did not think that
such an unreserved mixture would improve the whole mass？ 'Yes
（said he） as a plate of marmalade would improve a pan of
sirreverence。'
I owned I was not much conversant in high…life； but I had seen
what were called polite assemblies in London and elsewhere； that
those of Bath seemed to be as decent as any； and that； upon the
whole； the individuals that composed it； would not be found
deficient in good manners and decorum。 'But let us have recourse
to experience （said I） Jack Holder； who was intended for a
parson； has succeeded to an estate of two thousand a year； by the
death of his elder brother。 He is now at the Bath； driving about
in a phaeton and four； with French horns。 He has treated with
turtle and claret at all the taverns in Bath and Bristol； till
his guests are gorged with good chear： he has bought a dozen
suits of fine clothes； by the advice of the Master of the
Ceremonies； under whose tuition he has entered himself。 He has
lost hundreds at billiards to sharpers； and taken one of the
nymphs of Avon…street into keeping； but； finding all these
channels insufficient to drain him of his current cash； his
counsellor has engaged him to give a general tea…drinking to…morrow
at Wiltshire's room。 In order to give it the more eclat；
every table is to be furnished with sweet…meats and nosegays；
which； however； are not to be touched till notice is given by the
ringing of a bell； and then the ladies may help themselves
without restriction。 This will be no bad way of trying the
company's breeding。'
'I will abide by that experiment （cried my uncle） and if I could
find a place to stand secure； without the vortex of the tumult；
which I know will ensue； I would certainly go thither and enjoy
the scene。' Quin proposed that we should take our station in the
music…gallery； and we took his advice。 Holder had got thither
before us； with his horns perdue； but we were admitted。 The tea…drinking
passed as usual； and the company having risen from the
tables； were sauntering in groupes； in expectation of the signal
for attack； when the bell beginning to ring； they flew with
eagerness to the dessert； and the whole place was instantly in
commotion。 There was nothing but justling； scrambling； pulling；
snatching； struggling； scolding； and screaming。 The nosegays were
torn from one another's hands and bosoms； the glasses and china
went to wreck； the tables and floors were strewed with comfits。
Some cried； some swore； and the tropes and figures of
Billingsgate were used without reserve in all their native zest
and flavour； nor were those flowers of rhetoric unattended with
significant gesticulation。 Some snapped their fingers； some
forked them out； some clapped their hands； and some their back…sides；
at length； they fairly proceeded to pulling caps； and
every thing seemed to presage a general battle； when Holder
ordered his horns to sound a charge； with a view to animate the
combatants； and inflame the contest； but this manoeuvre produced
an effect quite contrary to what he expected。 It was a note of
reproach that roused them to an immediate sense of their
disgraceful situation。 They were ashamed of their absurd
deportment； and suddenly desisted。 They gathered up their caps；
ruffles； and handkerchiefs； and great part of them retired in
silent mortification。
Quin laughed at this adventure； but my uncle's delicacy was hurt。
He hung his head in manifest chagrin； and seemed to repine at the
triumph of his judgment Indeed； his victory was more complete
than he imagined； for； as we afterwar