Christian religion； a dispute from which he acquired the epithet
of Demonstrator The truth is； H owns no religion but that of
nature； but； on this occasion； he was stimulated to shew his
parts； for the honour of his country Some years ago； being in
the Campidoglio at Rome； he made up to the bust of Jupiter； and；
bowing very low； exclaimed in the Italian language； 'I hope； sir；
if ever you get your head above water again； you will remember
that I paid my respects to you in your adversity。' This sally was
reported to the cardinal Camerlengo； and by him laid before pope
Benedict XIV； who could not help laughing at the extravagance of
the address； and said to the cardinal； 'Those English heretics
think they have a right to go to the devil in their own way。'
Indeed H was the only Englishman I ever knew； who had
resolution enough to live in his own way； in the midst of
foreigners； for； neither in dress； diet； customs； or
conversation； did he deviate one tittle from the manner in which
he had been brought up。 About twelve years ago； he began a Giro
or circuit； which he thus performed At Naples； where he fixed
his headquarters； he embarked for Marseilles； from whence he
travelled with a Voiturin to Antibes There he took his passage
to Genoa and Lerici； from which last place he proceeded； by the
way of Cambratina； to Pisa and Florence After having halted some
time in this metropolis； he set out with a Vetturino for Rome；
where he reposed himself a few weeks； and then continued his
route for Naples； in order to wait for the next opportunity of
embarkation After having twelve times described this circle； he
lately flew off at a tangent to visit some trees at his country…house
in England； which he had planted above twenty years ago；
after the plan of the double colonnade in the piazza of St
Peter's at Rome He came hither to Scarborough； to pay his
respects to his noble friend and former pupil； the M of G；
and； forgetting that he is now turned of seventy； sacrificed so
liberally to Bacchus； that next day he was seized with a fit of
the apoplexy； which has a little impaired his memory； but he
retains all the oddity of his character in perfection； and is
going back to Italy by the way of Geneva； that he may have a
conference with his friend Voltaire； about giving the last blow
to the Christian superstition He intends to take shipping here
for Holland or Hamburgh； for it is a matter of great indifference
to him at what part of the continent he first lands。
When he was going abroad the last time； he took his passage in a
ship bound for Leghorn； and his baggage was actually embarked。 In
going down the river by water； he was by mistake put on board of
another vessel under sail； and； upon inquiry understood she was
bound to Petersburgh 'Petersburgh； Petersburgh （said he） I
don't care if I go along with you。' He forthwith struck a bargain
with the captain； bought a couple of shirts of the mate； and was
safe conveyed to the court of Muscovy； from whence he travelled
by land to receive his baggage at Leghorn He is now more likely
than ever to execute a whim of the same nature； and I will hold
any wager； that as he cannot be supposed to live much longer；
according to the course of nature； his exit will be as odd as his
life has been extravagant。
＇This gentleman crossed the sea to France； visited and conferred
with Mr de Voltaire at Fernay； resumed his old circuit at Genoa；
and died in 1767； at the house of Vanini in Florence。 Being taken
with a suppression of urine； he resolved； in imitation of
Pomponius Atticus； to take himself off by abstinence； and this
resolution he executed like an ancient Roman。 He saw company to
the last； cracked his jokes； conversed freely； and entertained
his guests with music。 On the third day of his fast； he found
himself entirely freed of his complaint； but refused taking
sustenance。 He said the most disagreeable part of the voyage was
past； and he should be a cursed fool indeed； to put about ship；
when he was just entering the harbour。 In these sentiments he
persisted； without any marks of affectation； and thus finished
his course with such case and serenity； as would have done honour
to the firmest Stoic of antiquity。＇
But； to return from one humourist to another； you must know I
have received benefit； both from the chalybeate and the sea； and
would have used them longer； had not a most ridiculous adventure；
by making me the town…talk； obliged me to leave the place； for I
can't bear the thoughts of affording a spectacle to the multitude
Yesterday morning； at six o'clock； I went down to the bathing…place；
attended by my servant Clinker； who waited on the beach as
usual The wind blowing from the north； and the weather being
hazy； the water proved so chill； that when I rose from my first
plunge； I could not help sobbing and bawling out； from the
effects of the cold。 Clinker； who heard me cry； and saw me
indistinctly a good way without the guide； buffetting the waves；
took it for granted I was drowning； and rushing into the sea；
clothes and all； overturned the guide in his hurry to save his
master。 I had swam out a few strokes； when hearing a noise； I
turned about and saw Clinker； already up to his neck； advancing
towards me； with all the wildness of terror in his aspect Afraid
he would get out of his depth； I made haste to meet him； when；
all of a sudden； he seized me by one ear； dragged me bellowing
with pain upon the dry beach； to the astonishment of all the
people； men； and women； and children there assembled。
I was so exasperated by the pain of my ear； and the disgrace of
being exposed in such an attitude； that； in the first transport I
struck him down； then； running back into the sea； took shelter in
the machine where my clothes had been deposited。 I soon
recollected myself so far as to do justice to the poor fellow；
who； in great simplicity of heart； had acted from motives of
fidelity and affection Opening the door of the machine； which
was immediately drawn on shore； I saw him standing by the wheel；
dropping like a water…work； and trembling from head to foot；
partly from cold； and partly from the dread of having offended
his master I made my acknowledgments for the blow he had
received； assured him I was not angry； and insisted upon his
going home immediately； to shift his clothes； a command which he
could hardly find in his heart to execute； so well disposed was
he to furnish the mob with further entertainment at my expence。
Clinker's intention was laudable without all doubt； but；
nevertheless； I am a sufferer by his simplicity I have had a
burning heat； and a strange buzzing noise in that ear； ever since
it was so roughly treated； and I cannot walk the street without
being pointed at； as the monster that was hauled naked a…shore
upon the beach Well； I affirm that folly is often more provoking
than knavery； aye and more mischievous too； and whether a man had
not better choose a sensible rogue； than an honest simpleton for
his servant； is no matter of doubt with
Yours；
MATT。 BRAMBLE
SCARBOROUGH； July 4。
To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS； Bart of Jesus college； Oxon。
DEAR WAT；
We made a precipitate retreat from Scarborough； owing to the
excessive delicacy of our 'squire； who cannot bear the thoughts
of being proetereuntium digito monstratus。
One morning； while he was bathing in the sea； his man Clinker
took it in his head that his master was in danger of drowning；
and； in this conceit； plunging into the water； he lugged him out
naked on the beach； and almost pulled off his ear in the
operation。 You may guess how this atchievement was relished by Mr
Bramble； who is impatient； irascible； and has the most
extravagant ideas of decency and decorum in the oeconomy of his
own person In the first ebullition of his choler； he knocked
Clinker down with his fist； but he afterwards made him amends for
his outrage； and； in order to avoid further notice of the people；
among whom this incident had made him remarkable； he resolved to
leave Scarborough next day。
We set out accordingly over the moors； by the way of Whitby； and
began our journey betimes； in hopes of reaching Stockton that
night； but in this hope we were disappointed In the afternoon；
crossing a deep gutter； made by a torrent； the coach was so hard
strained； that one of the irons； which connect the frame； snapt；
and the leather sling on the same side； cracked in the middle。 The
shock was so great； that my sister Liddy struck her head against
Mrs Tabitha's nose with such violence that the blood flowed； and
Win。 Jenkins was darted through a small window in that part of
the carriage next the horses； where she stuck like a bawd in the
pillory； till she was released by the hand of Mr Bramble。 We were
eight miles distant from any place where we could be supplied
with chaises； and it was impossible to proceed with the coach；
until the damage should be repaired in this dilemma； we
discovered a blacksmith's forge on the edge of a small common；
about half a mile from the scene of our disaster； and thither the
postilions made shift to draw the carriage； slowly； while the
company walked a…foot； but we found the black…smith had been dead
some days； and his wife； who had been lately delivered； was
deprived of her senses； under the care of a nurse； hired by the
parish。 We were exceedingly mortified at this disappointment；
which； however； was surmounted by the help of Humphry Clinker；
who is a surprising compound of genius and simplicity。 Finding
the tools of the defunct； together with some coals in the smithy；
he unscrewed the damaged iron in a twinkling； and； kindling a
fire； united the broken pieces with equal dexterity and dispatch
While he was at work upon this operation； the poor woman in the
straw； struck with the well…known sound of the hammer and anvil；
started up； and； notwithstanding all the nurse's efforts； came
running into the smithy； where； throwing her arms about Clinker's
neck； 'Ah； Jacob （cried she） how could you leave me in such a
condition？'
This incident was too pathetic to occasion mirth it brought
tears into the eyes of all present。 The poor widow was put to bed
again； and we