robert falconer- 第15部分

earth。　　But　Shargar　was　not　miserable。　　In　that　wretched　hovel；　his

bare　feet　clasping　the　clay　floor　in　constant　search　of　a　wavering

equilibrium；　with　pitch　darkness　around　him；　and　incapable　of　the

simplest　philosophical　or　religious　reflection；　he　yet　found　life

good。　　For　it　had　interest。　　Nay；　more；　it　had　hope。　　I　doubt；

however；　whether　there　is　any　interest　at　all　without　hope。



While　he　sat　there；　Robert；　thinking　him　snug　in　the　garret；　was

walking　quietly　home　from　the　shoemaker's；　and　his　first　impulse　on

entering　was　to　run　up　and　recount　the　particulars　of　his　interview

with　Alexander。　　Arrived　in　the　dark　garret；　he　called　Shargar；　as

usual；　in　a　whisperreceived　no　replythought　he　was

asleepcalled　louder　（for　he　had　had　a　penny　from　his　grandmother

that　day　for　bringing　home　two　pails　of　water　for　Betty；　and　had

just　spent　it　upon　a　loaf　for　him）but　no　Shargar　replied。

Thereupon　he　went　to　the　bed　to　lay　hold　of　him　and　shake　him。　　But

his　searching　hands　found　no　Shargar。　　Becoming　alarmed；　he　ran

down…stairs　to　beg　a　light　from　Betty。



When　he　reached　the　kitchen；　he　found　Betty's　nose　as　much　in　the

air　as　its　construction　would　permit。　　For　a　hook…nosed　animal；　she

certainly　was　the　most　harmless　and　ovine　creature　in　the　world；　but

this　was　a　case　in　which　feminine　modesty　was　both　concerned　and

aggrieved。　　She　showed　her　resentment　no　further；　however；　than　by

simply　returning　no　answer　in　syllable；　or　sound；　or　motion；　to

Robert's　request。　　She　was　washing　up　the　tea…things；　and　went　on

with　her　work　as　if　she　had　been　in　absolute　solitude；　saving　that

her　countenance　could　hardly　have　kept　up　that　expression　of　injured

dignity　had　such　been　the　case。　　Robert　plainly　saw；　to　his　great

concern；　that　his　secret　had　been　discovered　in　his　absence；　and

that　Shargar　had　been　expelled　with　contumely。　　But；　with　an

instinct　of　facing　the　worst　at　once　which　accompanied　him　through

life；　he　went　straight　to　his　grandmother's　parlour。



'Well；　grandmamma；'　he　said；　trying　to　speak　as　cheerfully　as　he

could。



Grannie's　prayers　had　softened　her　a　little；　else　she　would　have

been　as　silent　as　Betty；　for　it　was　from　her　mistress　that　Betty　had

learned　this　mode　of　torturing　a　criminal。　　So　she　was　just　able　to

return　his　greeting　in　the　words；　'Weel；　Robert；'　pronounced　in　a

finality　of　tone　that　indicated　she　had　done　her　utmost；　and　had

nothing　to　add。



'Here's　a　browst　（brewage）！'　thought　Robert　to　himself；　and；　still

on　the　principle　of　flying　at　the　first　of　mischief　he　sawthe　best

mode　of　meeting　it；　no　doubtaddressed　his　grandmother　at　once。

The　effort　necessary　gave　a　tone　of　defiance　to　his　words。



'What　for　willna　ye　speik　to　me；　grannie？'　he　said。　'I'm　no　a

haithen；　nor　yet　a　papist。'



'Ye're　waur　nor　baith　in　ane；　Robert。'



'Hoots！　ye　winna　say　baith；　grannie；'　returned　Robert；　who；　even　at

the　age　of　fourteen；　when　once　compelled　to　assert　himself；　assumed

a　modest　superiority。



'Nane　o'　sic　impidence！'　retorted　Mrs。　Falconer。　'I　wonner　whaur　ye

learn　that。　　But　it's　nae　wonner。　　Evil　communications　corrupt　gude

mainners。　　Ye're　a　lost　prodigal；　Robert；　like　yer　father　afore　ye。

I　hae　jist　been　sittin'　here　thinkin'　wi'　mysel'　whether　it　wadna

be　better　for　baith　o'　's　to　lat　ye　gang　an'　reap　the　fruit　o'　yer

doin's　at　ance；　for　the　hard　ways　is　the　best　road　for

transgressors。　　I'm　no　bund　to　keep　ye。'



'Weel；　weel；　I　s'　awa'　to　Shargar。　　Him　and　me　'ill　haud　on

thegither　better　nor　you　an'　me；　grannie。　　He's　a　puir　cratur；　but

he　can　stick　till　a　body。'



'What　are　ye　haverin'　aboot　Shargar　for；　ye　heepocreet　loon？　　Ye'll

no　gang　to　Shargar；　I　s'　warran'！　　Ye'll　be　efter　that　vile　limmer

that's　turnt　my　honest　hoose　intil　a　sty　this　last　fortnicht。'



'Grannie；　I　dinna　ken　what　ye　mean。'



'She　kens；　than。　　I　sent　her　aff　like　ane　o'　Samson's　foxes；　wi'　a

firebrand　at　her　tail。　　It's　a　pity　it　wasna　tied　atween　the　twa　o'

ye。'



'Preserve　's；　grannie！　　Is't　possible　ye　hae　ta'en　Shargar　for　ane

o'　wumman…kin'？'



'I　ken　naething　aboot　Shargar；　I　tell　ye。　　I　ken　that　Betty　an'　me

tuik　an　ill…faured　dame　i'　the　bed　i'　the　garret。'



'Cud　it　be　his　mither？'　thought　Robert　in　bewilderment；　but　he

recovered　himself　in　a　moment；　and　answered；



'Shargar　may　be　a　quean　efter　a'；　for　onything　'at　I　ken　to　the

contrairy；　but　I　aye　tuik　him　for　a　loon。　　Faith；　sic　a　quean　as

he'd　mak！'



And　careless　to　resist　the　ludicrousness　of　the　idea；　he　burst　into

a　loud　fit　of　laughter；　which　did　more　to　reassure　his　grannie　than

any　amount　of　protestation　could　have　done；　however　she　pretended　to

take　offence　at　his　ill…timed　merriment。



Seeing　his　grandmother　staggered；　Robert　gathered　courage　to　assume

the　offensive。



'But；　granny！　hoo　ever　Betty；　no　to　say　you；　cud　hae　driven　oot　a

puir　half…stervit　cratur　like　Shargar；　even　supposin'　he　oucht　to

hae　been　in　coaties；　and　no　in　troosersand　the　mither　o'　him　run

awa'　an'　left　himit's　mair　nor　I　can　unnerstan。'　　I　misdoobt　me

sair　but　he's　gane　and　droont　himsel'。'



Robert　knew　well　enough　that　Shargar　would　not　drown　himself　without

at　least　bidding　him　good…bye；　but　he　knew　too　that　his　grandmother

could　be　wrought　upon。　　Her　conscience　was　more　tender　than　her

feelings；　and　this　peculiarity　occasioned　part　of　the　mutual

non…understanding　rather　than　misunderstanding　between　her　grandson

and　herself。　　The　first　relation　she　bore　to　most　that　came　near　her

was　one　of　severity　and　rebuke；　but　underneath　her　cold　outside　lay

a　warm　heart；　to　which　conscience　acted　the　part　of　a　somewhat

capricious　stoker；　now　quenching　its　heat　with　the　cold　water　of

duty；　now　stirring　it　up　with　the　poker　of　reproach；　and　ever

treating　it　as　an　inferior　and　a　slave。　　But　her　conscience　was；　on

the　whole；　a　better　friend　to　her　race　than　her　heart；　and；　indeed；

the　conscience　is　always　a　better　friend　than　a　heart　whose　motions

are　undirected　by　it。　　From　Falconer's　account　of　her；　however；　I

cannot　help　thinking　that　she　not　unfrequently　took　refuge　in

severity　of　tone　and　manner　from　the　threatened　ebullition　of　a

feeling　which　she　could　not　otherwise　control；　and　which　she　was

ashamed　to　manifest。　　Possibly　conscience　had　spoken　more　and　more

gently　as　its　behests　were　more　and　more　readily　obeyed；　until　the

heart　began　to　gather　courage；　and　at　last；　as　in　many　old　people；

took　the　upper　hand；　which　was　outwardly　inconvenient　to　one　of　Mrs。

Falconer's　temperament。　　Hence；　in　doing　the　kindest　thing　in　the

world；　she　would　speak　in　a　tone　of　command；　even　of　rebuke；　as　if

she　were　compelling　the　performance　of　the　most　unpleasant　duty　in

the　person　who　received　the　kindness。　　But　the　human　heart　is　hard

to　analyze；　and；　indeed；　will　not　submit　quietly　to　the　operation；

however　gently　performed。　　Nor　is　the　result　at　all　easy　to　put　into

words。　　It　is　best　shown　in　actions。



Again；　it　may　appear　rather　strange　that　Robert　should　be　able　to

talk　in　such　an　easy　manner　to　his　grandmother；　seeing　he　had　been

guilty　of　concealment；　if　not　of　deception。　　But　she　had　never　been

so　actively　severe　towards　Robert　as　she　had　been　towards　her　own

children。　　To　him　she　was　wonderfully　gentle　for　her　nature；　and

sought　to　exercise　the　saving　harshness　which　she　still　believed

necessary；　solely　in　keeping　from　him　every　enjoyment　of　life　which

the　narrowest　theories　as　to　the　rule　and　will　of　God　could　set　down

as　worldly。　　Frivolity；　of　which　there　was　little　in　this　sober　boy；

was　in　her　eyes　a　vice；　loud　laughter　almost　a　crime；　cards；　and

novelles；　as　she　called　them；　were　such　in　her　estimation；　as　to　be

beyond　my　powers　of　characterization。　　Her　commonest　injunction　was；

'Noo　be　douce；'that　is　soberuttered　to　the　soberest　boy　she

could　ever　have　known。　　But　Robert　was　a　large…hearted　boy；　else

this　life　would　never　have　had　to　be　written；　and　so；　through　all

this；　his　deepest　nature　came　into　unconscious　contact　with　that　of

his　noble　old　grandmother。　　There　was　nothing　small　about　either　of

them。　　Hence　Robert　was　not　afraid　of　her。　　He　had　got　more　of　her

nature　in　him　than　of　her　son's。　　She　and　his　own　mother　had　more

share　in　him　than　his　father；　though　from　him　he　inherited　good

qualities　likewise。



He　had　concealed　his　doings　with　Shargar　simply　because　he　believed

they　could　not　be　done　if　his　grandmother　knew　of　his　plans。　　Herein

he　did　her　less　than　justice。　　But　so　unpleasant　was　concealment　to

his　nature；　and　so　much　did　the　dread　of　discovery　press　upon　him；

that　the　moment　he　saw　the　thing　had　come　out　into　the　daylight　of

her　knowledge；　such　a　reaction　of　relief　took　place　as；　operating

along　with　his　deep　natural　humour　and　the　comical　circumstance　of

the　case；　gave　him　an　ease　and　freedom　of　communication　which　he　had

never　before　enjoyed　with　her。　　Likewise　there　was　a　certain　courage

in　the　boy　which；　if　his　own　natural　disposition　had　not　been　so

quiet　that　he　felt　the　negations　of　her　rule　the　less；　might　have

resulted　in　underhand　doings　of　a　very　different　kind；　possibly；

from　those　of　benevolence。



He　must　have　been　a　strange　being　to　look　at；　I　always　think；　at

this　point　of　his　development；　with　his　huge　nose；　his　black　eyes；

his　lanky　figure；　and　his　sober　countenance；　on　which　a　smile　was

rarely　visible；　but　from　which　burst　occasional　guffaws　of　laughter。



At　the　words　'droont　himsel'；'　Mrs。　Falconer　started。



'Rin；　laddie；　rin；'　she　said；　'an'　fess　him　back　direckly！　　Betty！

Betty！　gang　wi'　Robert　and　help　him　to　luik　for　Shargar。　　Ye　auld；

blin'；　doited　body；　'at　says　ye　can　see；　and　canna　tell　a　lad　frae　a

lass！'



'Na；　na；　grannie。　　I'm　no　gaein'　oot　wi'　a　dame　like　her　trailin'　at

my　fut。　　She　wad　be　a　sair　hinnerance　to　me。　　Gin　Shargar　be　to　be

gottenthat　is；　gin　he　be　in　lifeI　s'　get　him　wantin'　Betty。　　And

gin　ye　dinna　ken　him