robert falconer- 第22部分

before　going　to　bed。　　There　she　uttered　a　long　extempore　prayer；

rapid　in　speech；　full　of　divinity　and　Scripture…phrases；　but　not　the

less　earnest　and　simple；　for　it　flowed　from　a　heart　of　faith。　　Then

Robert　had　to　pray　after　her；　loud　in　her　ear；　that　she　might　hear

him　thoroughly；　so　that　he　often　felt　as　if　he　were　praying　to　her；

and　not　to　God　at　all。



She　had　begun　to　teach　him　to　pray　so　early　that　the　custom　reached

beyond　the　confines　of　his　memory。　　At　first　he　had　had　to　repeat

the　words　after　her；　but　soon　she　made　him　construct　his　own

utterances；　now　and　then　giving　him　a　suggestion　in　the　form　of　a

petition　when　he　seemed　likely　to　break　down；　or　putting　a　phrase

into　what　she　considered　more　suitable　language。　　But　all　such

assistance　she　had　given　up　long　ago。



On　the　present　occasion；　after　she　had　ended　her　petitions　with

those　for　Jews　and　pagans；　and　especially　for　the　'Pop'　o'　Rom'；'　in

whom　with　a　rare　liberality　she　took　the　kindest　interest；　always

praying　God　to　give　him　a　good　wife；　though　she　knew　perfectly　well

the　marriage…creed　of　the　priesthood；　for　her　faith　in　the　hearer　of

prayer　scorned　every　theory　but　that　in　which　she　had　herself　been

born　and　bred；　she　turned　to　Robert　with　the　usual　'Noo；　Robert！'

and　Robert　began。　　But　after　he　had　gone　on　for　some　time　with　the

ordinary　phrases；　he　turned　all　at　once　into　a　new　track；　and

instead　of　praying　in　general　terms　for　'those　that　would　not　walk

in　the　right　way；'　said；



'O　Lord！　save　my　father；'　and　there　paused。



'If　it　be　thy　will；'　suggested　his　grandmother。



But　Robert　continued　silent。　　His　grandmother　repeated　the

subjunctive　clause。



'I'm　tryin'；　grandmother；'　said　Robert；　'but　I　canna　say　't。　　I

daurna　say　an　if　aboot　it。　　It　wad　be　like　giein'　in　till　's

damnation。　　We　maun　hae　him　saved；　grannie！'



'Laddie！　laddie！　haud　yer　tongue！'　said　Mrs。　Falconer；　in　a　tone　of

distressed　awe。　'O　Lord；　forgie　'im。　　He's　young　and　disna　ken

better　yet。　　He　canna　unnerstan'　thy　ways；　nor；　for　that　maitter；

can　I　preten'　to　unnerstan'　them　mysel'。　　But　thoo　art　a'　licht；　and

in　thee　is　no　darkness　at　all。　　And　thy　licht　comes　into　oor　blin'

een；　and　mak's　them　blinner　yet。　　But；　O　Lord；　gin　it　wad　please

thee　to　hear　oor　prayer。。。eh！　hoo　we　wad　praise　thee！　　And　my　Andrew

wad　praise　thee　mair　nor　ninety　and　nine　o'　them　'at　need　nae

repentance。'



A　long　pause　followed。　　And　then　the　only　words　that　would　come

were：　'For　Christ's　sake。　　Amen。'



When　she　said　that　God　was　light；　instead　of　concluding　therefrom

that　he　could　not　do　the　deeds　of　darkness；　she　was　driven；　from　a

faith　in　the　teaching　of　Jonathan　Edwards　as　implicit　as　that　of

'any　lay　papist　of　Loretto；'　to　doubt　whether　the　deeds　of　darkness

were　not　after　all　deeds　of　light；　or　at　least　to　conclude　that

their　character　depended　not　on　their　own　nature；　but　on　who　did

them。



They　rose　from　their　knees；　and　Mrs。　Falconer　sat　down　by　her　fire；

with　her　feet　on　her　little　wooden　stool；　and　began；　as　was　her　wont

in　that　household　twilight；　ere　the　lamp　was　lighted；　to　review　her

past　life；　and　follow　her　lost　son　through　all　conditions　and

circumstances　to　her　imaginable。　　And　when　the　world　to　come　arose

before　her；　clad　in　all　the　glories　which　her　fancy；　chilled　by

education　and　years；　could　supply；　it　was　but　to　vanish　in　the　gloom

of　the　remembrance　of　him　with　whom　she　dared　not　hope　to　share　its

blessedness。　　This　at　least　was　how　Falconer　afterwards　interpreted

the　sudden　changes　from　gladness　to　gloom　which　he　saw　at　such　times

on　her　countenance。



But　while　such　a　small　portion　of　the　universe　of　thought　was

enlightened　by　the　glowworm　lamp　of　the　theories　she　had　been

taught；　she　was　not　limited　for　light　to　that　feeble　source。　　While

she　walked　on　her　way；　the　moon；　unseen　herself　behind　the　clouds；

was　illuminating　the　whole　landscape　so　gently　and　evenly；　that　the

glowworm　being　the　only　visible　point　of　radiance；　to　it　she

attributed　all　the　light。　　But　she　felt　bound　to　go　on　believing　as

she　had　been　taught；　for　sometimes　the　most　original　mind　has　the

strongest　sense　of　law　upon　it；　and　will；　in　default　of　a　better；

obey　a　beggarly　oneonly　till　the　higher　law　that　swallows　it　up

manifests　itself。　　Obedience　was　as　essential　an　element　of　her

creed　as　of　that　of　any　purest…minded　monk；　neither　being

sufficiently　impressed　with　this：　that；　while　obedience　is　the　law

of　the　kingdom；　it　is　of　considerable　importance　that　that　which　is

obeyed　should　be　in　very　truth　the　will　of　God。　It　is　one　thing；　and

a　good　thing；　to　do　for　God's　sake　that　which　is　not　his　will：　it　is

another　thing；　and　altogether　a　better　thinghow　much　better；　no

words　can　tellto　do　for　God's　sake　that　which　is　his　will。　　Mrs。

Falconer's　submission　and　obedience　led　her　to　accept　as　the　will　of

God；　lest　she　should　be　guilty　of　opposition　to　him；　that　which　it

was　anything　but　giving　him　honour　to　accept　as　such。　　Therefore　her

love　to　God　was　too　like　the　love　of　the　slave　or　the　dog；　too

little　like　the　love　of　the　child；　with　whose　obedience　the　Father

cannot　be　satisfied　until　he　cares　for　his　reason　as　the　highest

form　of　his　will。　　True；　the　child　who　most　faithfully　desires　to

know　the　inward　will　or　reason　of　the　Father；　will　be　the　most　ready

to　obey　without　it；　only　for　this　obedience　it　is　essential　that　the

apparent　command　at　least　be　such　as　he　can　suppose　attributable　to

the　Father。　　Of　his　own　self　he　is　bound　to　judge　what　is　right；　as

the　Lord　said。　　Had　Abraham　doubted　whether　it　was　in　any　case　right

to　slay　his　son；　he　would　have　been　justified　in　doubting　whether

God　really　required　it　of　him；　and　would　have　been　bound　to　delay

action　until　the　arrival　of　more　light。　　True；　the　will　of　God　can

never　be　other　than　good；　but　I　doubt　if　any　man　can　ever　be　sure

that　a　thing　is　the　will　of　God；　save　by　seeing　into　its　nature　and

character；　and　beholding　its　goodness。　　Whatever　God　does　must　be

right；　but　are　we　sure　that　we　know　what　he　does？　　That　which　men

say　he　does　may　be　very　wrong　indeed。



This　burden　she　in　her　turn　laid　upon　Robertnot　unkindly；　but　as

needful　for　his　training　towards　well…being。　　Her　way　with　him　was

shaped　after　that　which　she　recognized　as　God's　way　with　her。　'Speir

nae　questons；　but　gang　an'　du　as　ye're　tellt。'　　And　it　was　anything

but　a　bad　lesson　for　the　boy。　　It　was　one　of　the　best　he　could　have

hadthat　of　authority。　　It　is　a　grand　thing　to　obey　without　asking

questions；　so　long　as　there　is　nothing　evil　in　what　is　commanded。

Only　grannie　concealed　her　reasons　without　reason；　and　God　makes　no

secrets。　　Hence　she　seemed　more　stern　and　less　sympathetic　than　she

really　was。



She　sat　with　her　feet　on　the　little　wooden　stool；　and　Robert　sat

beside　her　staring　into　the　fire；　till　they　heard　the　outer　door

open；　and　Shargar　and　Betty　come　in　from　church。









CHAPTER　XIII。



ROBERT'S　MOTHER。



Early　on　the　following　morning；　while　Mrs。　Falconer；　Robert；　and

Shargar　were　at　breakfast；　Mr。　Lammie　came。　　He　had　delayed

communicating　the　intelligence　he　had　received　till　he　should　be

more　certain　of　its　truth。　　Older　than　Andrew；　he　had　been　a　great

friend　of　his　father；　and　likewise　of　some　of　Mrs。　Falconer's　own

family。　　Therefore　he　was　received　with　a　kindly　welcome。　　But　there

was　a　cloud　on　his　brow　which　in　a　moment　revealed　that　his　errand

was　not　a　pleasant　one。



'I　haena　seen　ye　for　a　lang　time；　Mr。　Lammie。　　Gae　butt　the　hoose；

lads。　　Or　I'm　thinkin'　it　maun　be　schule…time。　　Sit　ye　doon；　Mr。

Lammie；　and　lat's　hear　yer　news。'



'I　cam　frae　Aberdeen　last　nicht；　Mistress　Faukner；'　he　began。



'Ye　haena　been　hame　sin'　syne？'　she　rejoined。



'Na。　I　sleepit　at　The　Boar's　Heid。'



'What　for　did　ye　that？　　What　gart　ye　be　at　that　expense；　whan　ye

kent　I　had　a　bed　i'　the　ga'le…room？'



'Weel；　ye　see；　they're　auld　frien's　o'　mine；　and　I　like　to　gang　to

them　whan　I'm　i'　the　gait　o'　't。'



'Weel；　they're　a　fine　faimily；　the　Miss　Napers。　　And；　I　wat；　sin'

they　maun　sell　drink；　they　du　't　wi'　discretion。　　That's　weel　kent。'



Possibly　Mr。　Lammie；　remembering　what　then　occurred；　may　have

thought　the　discretion　a　little　in　excess　of　the　drink；　but　he　had

other　matters　to　occupy　him　now。　　For　a　few　moments　both　were

silent。



'There's　been　some　ill　news；　they　tell　me；　Mrs。　Faukner；'　he　said　at

length；　when　the　silence　had　grown　painful。



'Humph！'　returned　the　old　lady；　her　face　becoming　stony　with　the

effort　to　suppress　all　emotion。　'Nae　aboot　Anerew？'



''Deed　is　't；　mem。　　An'　ill　news；　I'm　sorry　to　say。'



'Is　he　ta'en？'



'Ay　is　heby　a　jyler　that　winna　tyne　the　grup。'



'He's　no　deid；　John　Lammie？　　Dinna　say　't。'



'I　maun　say　't；　Mrs。　Faukner。　　I　had　it　frae　Dr。　Anderson；　yer　ain

cousin。　　He　hintit　at　it　afore；　but　his　last　letter　leaves　nae　room

to　doobt　upo'　the　subjeck。　　I'm　unco　sorry　to　be　the　beirer　o'　sic

ill　news；　Mrs。　Faukner；　but　I　had　nae　chice。'



'Ohone！　　Ohone！　the　day　o'　grace　is　by　at　last！　　My　puir　Anerew！'

exclaimed　Mrs。　Falconer；　and　sat　dumb　thereafter。



Mr。　Lammie　tried　to　comfort　her　with　some　of　the　usual　comfortless

commonplaces。　　She　neither　wept　nor　replied；　but　sat　with　stony　face

staring　into　her　lap；　till；　seeing　that　she　was　as　one　that　heareth

not；　he　rose　and　left　her　alone　with　her　grief。　　A　few　minutes　after

he　was　gone；　she　rang　the　bell；　and　told　Betty　in　her　usual　voice　to

send　Robert　to　her。



'He's　gane　to　the　schule；　mem。'



'Rin　efter　him；　an'　tell　him　to　come　hame。'



When　Robert　appeared；　wondering　what　his　grandmother　could　want　with

him；　she　said：



'Close　the　door；　Robert。　　I　canna　lat　ye　gang　to　the　schule　the　day。

We　maun　lea'　him　oot　noo。'



'Lea'　wha　oot；　grannie？'



'Him；　himAnerew。　　Yer　father；　laddie。　　I　think　my　hert　'll　brak。'



'Lea'　him　oo