robert falconer- 第54部分

expected　nothing　of　him　beyond　advice　for　Ericson！　　Might　there　not

be　a　Providence　that　equally　transcended　the　vision　of　men；　shaping

to　nobler　ends　the　blocked…out　designs　of　their　rough…hewn　marbles？



His　thoughts　wandered　back　to　his　friend　the　Brahmin；　who　died

longing　for　that　absorption　into　deity　which　had　been　the　dream　of

his　life：　might　not　the　Brahmin　find　the　grand　idea　shaped　to　yet

finer　issues　than　his　aspiration　had　dared　contemplate？might　he

not　inherit　in　the　purification　of　his　will　such　an　absorption　as

should　intensify　his　personality？









CHAPTER　IX。



A　HUMAN　SOUL。



Ericson　lay　for　several　weeks；　during　which　time　Robert　and　Shargar

were　his　only　nurses。　　They　contrived；　by　abridging　both　rest　and

labour；　to　give　him　constant　attendance。　　Shargar　went　to　bed　early

and　got　up　early；　so　as　to　let　Robert　have　a　few　hours'　sleep　before

his　classes　began。　　Robert　again　slept　in　the　evening；　after　Shargar

came　home；　and　made　up　for　the　time　by　reading　while　he　sat　by　his

friend。　　Mrs。　Fyvie's　attendance　was　in　requisition　only　for　the

hours　when　he　had　to　be　at　lectures。　　By　the　greatest　economy　of

means；　consisting　of　what　Shargar　brought　in　by　jobbing　about　the

quay　and　the　coach…offices；　and　what　Robert　had　from　Dr。　Anderson

for　copying　his　manuscript；　they　contrived　to　procure　for　Ericson

all　that　he　wanted。　　The　shopping　of　the　two　boys；　in　their　utter

ignorance　of　such　delicacies　as　the　doctor　told　them　to　get　for　him；

the　blunders　they　made　as　to　the　shops　at　which　they　were　to　be

bought；　and　the　consultations　they　held；　especially　about　the

preparing　of　the　prescribed　nutriment；　afforded　them　many　an　amusing

retrospect　in　after　years。　　For　the　house　was　so　full　of　lodgers；

that　Robert　begged　Mrs。　Fyvie　to　give　herself　no　trouble　in　the

matter。　　Her　conscience；　however；　was　uneasy；　and　she　spoke　to　Dr。

Anderson；　but　he　assured　her　that　she　might　trust　the　boys。　　What

cooking　they　could　not　manage；　she　undertook　cheerfully；　and　refused

to　add　anything　to　the　rent　on　Shargar's　account。



Dr。　Anderson　watched　everything；　the　two　boys　as　much　as　his

patient。　　He　allowed　them　to　work　on；　sending　only　the　wine　that　was

necessary　from　his　own　cellar。　　The　moment　the　supplies　should　begin

to　fail；　or　the　boys　to　look　troubled；　he　was　ready　to　do　more。

About　Robert's　perseverance　he　had　no　doubt：　Shargar's　faithfulness

he　wanted　to　prove。



Robert　wrote　to　his　grandmother　to　tell　her　that　Shargar　was　with

him；　working　hard。　　Her　reply　was　somewhat　cold　and　offended；　but

was　inclosed　in　a　parcel　containing　all　Shargar's　garments；　and

ended　with　the　assurance　that　as　long　as　he　did　well　she　was　ready

to　do　what　she　could。



Few　English　readers　will　like　Mrs。　Falconer；　but　her　grandchild

considered　her　one　of　the　noblest　women　ever　God　made；　and　I；　from

his　account；　am　of　the　same　mind。　　Her　care　was　fixed



　　　　　To　fill　her　odorous　lamp　with　deeds　of　light；

　　　　　And　hope　that　reaps　not　shame。



And　if　one　must　choose　between　the　how　and　the　what；　let　me　have　the

what；　come　of　the　how　what　may。　　I　know　of　a　man　so　sensitive；　that

he　shuts　his　ears　to　his　sister's　griefs；　because　it　spoils　his

digestion　to　think　of　them。



One　evening　Robert　was　sitting　by　the　table　in　Ericson's　room。　　Dr。

Anderson　had　not　called　that　day；　and　he　did　not　expect　to　see　him

now；　for　he　had　never　come　so　late。　　He　was　quite　at　his　ease；

therefore；　and　busy　with　two　things　at　once；　when　the　doctor　opened

the　door　and　walked　in。　　I　think　it　is　possible　that　he　came　up

quietly　with　some　design　of　surprising　him。　　He　found　him　with　a

stocking　on　one　hand；　a　darning　needle　in　the　other；　and　a　Greek

book　open　before　him。　　Taking　no　apparent　notice　of　him；　he　walked

up　to　the　bedside；　and　Robert　put　away　his　work。　　After　his

interview　with　his　patient　was　over；　the　doctor　signed　to　him　to

follow　him　to　the　next　room。　　There　Shargar　lay　on　the　rug　already

snoring。　　It　was　a　cold　night　in　December；　but　he　lay　in　his

under…clothing；　with　a　single　blanket　round　him。



'Good　training　for　a　soldier；'　said　the　doctor；　'and　so　was　your

work　a　minute　ago；　Robert。'



'Ay；'　answered　Robert；　colouring　a　little；　'I　was　readin'　a　bit　o'

the　Anabasis。'



The　doctor　smiled　a　far…off　sly　smile。



'I　think　it　was　rather　the　Katabasis；　if　one　might　venture　to　judge

from　the　direction　of　your　labours。'



'Weel；'　answered　Robert；　'what　wad　ye　hae　me　do？　　Wad　ye　hae　me　lat

Mr。　Ericson　gang　wi'　holes　i'　the　heels　o'　's　hose；　whan　I　can　mak

them　a'　snod；　an'　learn　my　Greek　at　the　same　time？　　Hoots；　doctor！

dinna　lauch　at　me。　　I　was　doin'　nae　ill。　　A　body　may　please

themsel'swhiles　surely；　ohn　sinned。'



'But　it's　such　waste　of　time！　　Why　don't　you　buy　him　new　ones？'



''Deed　that's　easier　said　than　dune。　　I　hae　eneuch　ado　wi'　my　siller

as　'tis；　an'　gin　it　warna　for　you；　doctor；　I　do　not　ken　what　wad

come　o'　's；　for　ye　see　I　hae　no　richt　to　come　upo'　my　grannie　for

ither　fowk。　　There　wad　be　nae　en'　to　that。'



'But　I　could　lend　you　the　money　to　buy　him　some　stockings。'



'An'　whan　wad　I　be　able　to　pay　ye；　do　ye　think；　doctor？　　In　anither

warl'　maybe；　whaur　the　currency　micht　be　sae　different　there　wad　be

no　possibility　o'　reckonin'　the　rate　o'　exchange。　　Na；　na。'



'But　I　will　give　you　the　money　if　you　like。'



'Na；　na。　　You　hae　dune　eneuch　already；　an'　mony　thanks。　　Siller's　no

sae　easy　come　by　to　be　wastit；　as　lang's　a　darn　'll　do。　　Forbye；　gin

ye　began　wi'　his　claes；　ye　wadna　ken　whaur　to　haud；　for　it　wad　jist

be　the　new　claith　upo'　the　auld　garment：　ye　micht　as　weel　new　cleed

him　at　ance。'



'And　why　not　if　I　choose；　Mr。　Falconer？'



'Speir　ye　that　at　him；　an'　see　what　ye'll　geta　luik　'at　wad　fess　a

corbie　（carrion　crow）　frae　the　lift　（sky）。　　I　wadna　hae　ye　try　that。

Some　fowk's　poverty　maun　be　han'let　jist　like　a　sair　place；　doctor。

He　canna　weel　compleen　o'　a　bit　darnin'。He　canna　tak　that　ill；'

repeated　Robert；　in　a　tone　that　showed　he　yet　felt　some　anxiety　on

the　subject；　'but　new　anes！　　I　wadna　like　to　be　by　whan　he　fand　that

oot。　　Maybe　he　micht　tak　them　frae　a　wuman；　but　frae　a　man

body！na；　na；　I　maun　jist　darn　awa'。　　But　I'll　mak　them　dacent

eneuch　afore　I　hae　dune　wi'　them。　　A　fiddler　has　fingers。'



The　doctor　smiled　a　pleased　smile；　but　when　he　got　into　his

carriage；　again　he　laughed　heartily。



The　evening　deepened　into　night。　　Robert　thought　Ericson　was　asleep。

But　he　spoke。



'Who　is　that　at　the　street　door？'　he　said。



They　were　at　the　top　of　the　house；　and　there　was　no　window　to　the

street。　　But　Ericson's　senses　were　preternaturally　acute；　as　is

often　the　case　in　such　illnesses。



'I　dinna　hear　onybody；'　answered　Robert。



'There　was　somebody；'　returned　Ericson。



》From　that　moment　he　began　to　be　restless；　and　was　more　feverish　than

usual　throughout　the　night。



Up　to　this　time　he　had　spoken　little；　was　depressed　with　a　suffering

to　which　he　could　give　no　namenot　pain；　he　saidbut　such　that　he

could　rouse　no　mental　effort　to　meet　it：　his　endurance　was　passive

altogether。　　This　night　his　brain　was　more　affected。　　He　did　not

rave；　but　often　wandered；　never　spoke　nonsense；　but　many　words　that

would　have　seemed　nonsense　to　ordinary　people：　to　Robert　they　seemed

inspired。　　His　imagination；　which　was　greater　than　any　other　of　his

fine　faculties；　was　so　roused　that　he　talked　in　verseprobably

verse　composed　before　and　now　recalled。　　He　would　even　pray

sometimes　in　measured　lines；　and　go　on　murmuring　petitions；　till　the

words　of　the　murmur　became　undistinguishable；　and　he　fell　asleep。

But　even　in　his　sleep　he　would　speak；　and　Robert　would　listen　in

awe；　for　such　words；　falling　from　such　a　man；　were　to　him　as　dim

breaks　of　coloured　light　from　the　rainbow　walls　of　the　heavenly

city。



'If　God　were　thinking　me；'　said　Ericson；　'ah！　　But　if　he　be　only

dreaming　me；　I　shall　go　mad。'



Ericson's　outside　was　like　his　own　northern　climedark；　gentle；　and

clear；　with　gray…blue　seas；　and　a　sun　that　seems　to　shine　out　of　the

past；　and　know　nothing　of　the　future。　　But　within　glowed　a　volcanic

angel　of　aspiration；　fluttering　his　half…grown　wings；　and　ever

reaching　towards　the　heights　whence　all　things　are　visible；　and

where　all　passions　are　safe　because　true；　that　is　divine。　　Iceland

herself　has　her　Hecla。



Robert　listened　with　keenest　ear。　　A　mist　of　great　meaning　hung

about　the　words　his　friend　had　spoken。　　He　might　speak　more。　　For

some　minutes　he　listened　in　vain；　and　was　turning　at　last　towards

his　book　in　hopelessness；　when　he　did　speak　yet　again：　Robert's　ear

soon　detected　the　rhythmic　motion　of　his　speech。



'Come　in　the　glory　of　thine　excellence；

Rive　the　dense　gloom　with　wedges　of　clear　light；

And　let　the　shimmer　of　thy　chariot　wheels

Burn　through　the　cracks　of　night。So　slowly；　Lord；

To　lift　myself　to　thee　with　hands　of　toil；

Climbing　the　slippery　cliff　of　unheard　prayer！

Lift　up　a　hand　among　my　idle　days

One　beckoning　finger。　　I　will　cast　aside

The　clogs　of　earthly　circumstance；　and　run

Up　the　broad　highways　where　the　countless　worlds

Sit　ripening　in　the　summer　of　thy　love。'



Breathless　for　fear　of　losing　a　word；　Robert　yet　remembered　that　he

had　seen　something　like　these　words　in　the　papers　Ericson　had　given

him　to　read　on　the　night　when　his　illness　began。　　When　he　had　fallen

asleep　and　silent；　he　searched　and　found　the　poem　from　which　I　give

the　following　extracts。　　He　had　not　looked　at　the　papers　since　that

night。



A　PRAYER。



　　　　　O　Lord；　my　God；　how　long

Shall　my　poor　heart　pant　for　a　boundless　joy？

How　long；　O　mighty　Spirit；　shall　I　hear

The　murmur　of　Truth's　crystal　waters　slide

》From　the　deep　caverns　of　their　endless　being；

But　my　lips　taste　not；　and　the　grosser　air

Choke　each　pure　inspiration　of　thy　will？



　　　　　I　would　be　a　wind；

Whose　smallest　atom　is　a　viewless　wing；

A