in what folks call gentlemen as there is in what you put on table。
There is cabbages and there is cauliflowers。 There is clams and
there is oysters。 There is mackerel and there is salmon。 And there
is some that knows the difference and some that doos n't。 I had a
little account with that boarder that he forgot to settle before he
went off； so all of a suddin。 I sha'n't say anything about it。 I've
seen the time when I should have felt bad about losing what he owed
me； but it was no great matter； and if he 'll only stay away now he
's gone； I can stand losing it； and not cry my eyes out nor lay awake
all night neither。 I never had ought to have took him。 Where he
come from and where he's gone to is unbeknown to me。 If he'd only
smoked good tobacco； I wouldn't have said a word； but it was such
dreadful stuff； it 'll take a week to get his chamber sweet enough to
show them that asks for rooms。 It doos smell like all possest。
Left any goods？ asked the Salesman。
Or dockermunts？added the Member of the Haouse。
The Landlady answered with a faded smile； which implied that there
was no hope in that direction。 Dr。 Benjamin； with a sudden
recurrence of youthful feeling； made a fan with the fingers of his
right hand； the second phalanx of the thumb resting on the tip of the
nose； and the remaining digits diverging from each other； in the
plane of the median line of the face；I suppose this is the way he
would have described the gesture； which is almost a specialty of the
Parisian gamin。 That Boy immediately copied it； and added greatly to
its effect by extending the fingers of the other hand in a line with
those of the first； and vigorously agitating those of the two hands；
a gesture which acts like a puncture on the distended self…esteem
of one to whom it is addressed； and cheapens the memory of the absent
to a very low figure。
I wish the reader to observe that I treasure up with interest all the
words uttered by the Salesman。 It must have been noticed that he
very rarely speaks。 Perhaps he has an inner life； with its own deep
emotional； and lofty contemplative elements； but as we see him； he is
the boarder reduced to the simplest expression of that term。 Yet；
like most human creatures； he has generic and specific characters not
unworthy of being studied。 I notice particularly a certain
electrical briskness of movement； such as one may see in a squirrel；
which clearly belongs to his calling。 The dry…goodsman's life behind
his counter is a succession of sudden； snappy perceptions and brief
series of coordinate spasms； as thus：
〃Purple calico； three quarters wide； six yards。〃
Up goes the arm； bang！ tumbles out the flat roll and turns half a
dozen somersets； as if for the fun of the thing； the six yards of
calico hurry over the measuring nails； hunching their backs up； like
six cankerworms； out jump the scissors； snip； clip； rip； the stuff is
wisped up； brownpapered； tied； labelled； delivered； and the man is
himself again； like a child just come out of a convulsion…fit。 Think
of a man's having some hundreds of these semi…epileptic seizures
every day； and you need not wonder that he does not say much； these
fits take the talk all out of him。
But because he； or any other man； does not say much； it does not
follow that he may not have； as I have said； an exalted and intense
inner life。 I have known a number of cases where a man who seemed
thoroughly commonplace and unemotional has all at once surprised
everybody by telling the story of his hidden life far more pointedly
and dramatically than any playwright or novelist or poet could have
told it for him。 I will not insult your intelligence； Beloved； by
saying how he has told it。
We had been talking over the subjects touched upon in the Lady's
letter。
I suppose one man in a dozensaid the Masterought to be born a
skeptic。 That was the proportion among the Apostles； at any rate。
So there was one Judas among them；I remarked。
Well；said the Master；they 've been whitewashing Judas of late。
But never mind him。 I did not say there was not one rogue on the
average among a dozen men。 I don't see how that would interfere with
my proposition。 If I say that among a dozen men you ought to find
one that weighs over a hundred and fifty pounds； and you tell me that
there were twelve men in your club； and one of 'em had red hair； I
don't see that you have materially damaged my statement。
I thought it best to let the old Master have his easy victory；
which was more apparent than real； very evidently； and he went on。
When the Lord sends out a batch of human beings； say a hundredDid
you ever read my book； the new edition of it； I mean？
It is rather awkward to answer such a question in the negative； but I
said； with the best grace I could； 〃No； not the last edition。〃
Well； I must give you a copy of it。 My book and I are pretty much
the same thing。 Sometimes I steal from my book in my talk without
mentioning it； and then I say to myself； 〃Oh； that won't do；
everybody has read my book and knows it by heart。〃 And then the
other I says；you know there are two of us； right and left； like a
pair of shoes；the other I says； 〃You're asomething or other
fool。 They have n't read your confounded old book； besides； if they
have； they have forgotten all about it。〃 Another time； I say；
thinking I will be very honest； 〃I have said something about that in
my book〃； and then the other I says； 〃What a Balaam's quadruped you
are to tell 'em it's in your book； they don't care whether it is or
not； if it's anything worth saying； and if it isn't worth saying；
what are you braying for？ 〃That is a rather sensible fellow； that
other chap we talk with； but an impudent whelp。 I never got such
abuse from any blackguard in my life as I have from that No。 2 of me；
the one that answers the other's questions and makes the comments；
and does what in demotic phrase is called the 〃sarsing。〃
I laughed at that。 I have just such a fellow always with me； as
wise as Solomon； if I would only heed him； but as insolent as Shimei；
cursing； and throwing stones and dirt； and behaving as if he had the
traditions of the 〃ape…like human being〃 born with him rather than
civilized instincts。 One does not have to be a king to know what it
is to keep a king's jester。
I mentioned my book；the Master said； because I have something in
it on the subject we were talking about。 I should like to read you a
passage here and there out of it； where I have expressed myself a
little more freely on some of those matters we handle in
conversation。 If you don't quarrel with it； I must give you a copy
of the book。 It's a rather serious thing to get a copy of a book
from the writer of it。 It has made my adjectives sweat pretty hard；
I know； to put together an answer returning thanks and not lying
beyond the twilight of veracity； if one may use a figure。 Let me try
a little of my book on you； in divided doses； as my friends the
doctors say。
…Fiat experimentum in corpore vili；I said； laughing at my own
expense。 I don't doubt the medicament is quite as good as the
patient deserves； and probably a great deal better；I added；
reinforcing my feeble compliment。
＇When you pay a compliment to an author； don't qualify it in the next
sentence so as to take all the goodness out of it。 Now I am thinking
of it； I will give you one or two pieces of advice。 Be careful to
assure yourself that the person you are talking with wrote the
article or book you praise。 It is not very pleasant to be told；
〃Well； there； now！ I always liked your writings； but you never did
anything half so good as this last piece；〃 and then to have to tell
the blunderer that this last piece is n't yours； but t' other man's。
Take care that the phrase or sentence you commend is not one that is
in quotation…marks。 〃The best thing in your piece； I think； is a ；
line I do not remember meeting before； it struck me as very true and
well expressed：
'〃An honest man's the noblest work of God。〃'
〃But； my dear lady； that line is one which is to be found in a writer
of the last century； and not original with me。〃 One ought not to
have undeceived her； perhaps； but one is naturally honest； and cannot
bear to be credited with what is not his own。 The lady blushes； of
course； and says she has not read much ancient literature； or some
such thing。 The pearl upon the Ethiop's arm is very pretty in verse；
but one does not care to furnish the dark background for other
persons' jewelry。＇
I adjourned from the table in company with the old Master to his
apartments。 He was evidently in easy circumstances； for he had the
best accommodations the house afforded。 We passed through a
reception room to his library； where everything showed that he had
ample means for indulging the modest tastes of a scholar。
The first thing； naturally； when one enters a scholar's study or
library； is to look at his books。 One gets a notion very speedily of
his tastes and the range of his pursuits by a glance round his
bookshelves。
Of course； you know there are many fine houses where the library is a
part of the upholstery； so to speak。 Books in handsome binding kept
locked under plate…glass in showy dwarf bookcases are as important to
stylish establishments as servants in livery； who sit with folded
arms； are to stylish equipages。 I suppose those wonderful statues
with the folded arms do sometimes change their attitude； and I
suppose those books with the gilded backs do sometimes get opened；
but it is nobody's business whether they do or not； and it is not
best to ask too many questions。
This sort of thing is common enough； but there is another case that
may prove deceptive if you undertake to judge from appearances。 Once
in a while you will come on a house where you will find a family of
readers and almost no library。 Some of the most indefatigable
devourers of literature have very few books。 They belong to book
clubs； they haunt the public libraries； they borrow of friends； and
somehow or other get hold of everything they want； scoop out all it
holds for them； and have done with it。 When I want a book； it is as
a tiger wants a sheep。