of all with unsuccessful ones。 If one had a dozen lives or so； it
would all be very well； but to have only a single ticket in the great
lottery； and have that drawn a blank； is a rather sad sort of thing。
So I was pleased to see the affectionate kind of pride with which the
Master handled his book； it was a success； in its way； and he looked
on it with a cheerful sense that he had a right to be proud of it。
The Master opened the volume； and； putting on his large round
glasses； began reading； as authors love to read that love their
books。
The only good reason for believing in the stability of the moral
order of things is to be found in the tolerable steadiness of human
averages。 Out of a hundred human beings fifty…one will be found in
the long run on the side of the right； so far as they know it； and
against the wrong。 They will be organizers rather than
disorganizers； helpers and not hinderers in the upward movement of
the race。 This is the main fact we have to depend on。 The right
hand of the great organism is a little stronger than the left； that
is all。
Now and then we come across a left…handed man。 So now and then we
find a tribe or a generation； the subject of what we may call moral
left…handedness； but that need not trouble us about our formula。 All
we have to do is to spread the average over a wider territory or a
longer period of time。 Any race or period that insists on being
left…handed must go under if it comes in contact with a right…handed
one。 If there were； as a general rule； fifty…one rogues in the
hundred instead of forty…nine； all other qualities of mind and body
being equally distributed between the two sections； the order of
things would sooner or later end in universal disorder。 It is the
question between the leak and the pumps。
It does not seem very likely that the Creator of all things is taken
by surprise at witnessing anything any of his creatures do or think。
Men have sought out many inventions； but they can have contrived
nothing which did not exist as an idea in the omniscient
consciousness to which past； present； and future are alike Now。
We read what travellers tell us about the King of Dahomey； or the
Fejee Island people； or the short and simple annals of the
celebrities recorded in the Newgate Calendar； and do not know just
what to make of these brothers and sisters of the race； but I do not
suppose an intelligence even as high as the angelic beings； to stop
short there； would see anything very peculiar or wonderful about
them； except as everything is wonderful and unlike everything else。
It is very curious to see how science； that is； looking at and
arranging the facts of a case with our own eyes and our own
intelligence； without minding what somebody else has said； or how
some old majority vote went in a pack of intriguing ecclesiastics；
I say it is very curious to see how science is catching up with one
superstition after another。
There is a recognized branch of science familiar to all those who
know anything of the studies relating to life； under the name of
Teratology。 It deals with all sorts of monstrosities which are to be
met with in living beings； and more especially in animals。 It is
found that what used to be called lusus naturae； or freaks of nature；
are just as much subject to laws as the naturally developed forms of
living creatures。
The rustic looks at the Siamese twins； and thinks he is contemplating
an unheard…of anomaly； but there are plenty of cases like theirs in
the books of scholars； and though they are not quite so common as
double cherries； the mechanism of their formation is not a whit more
mysterious than that of the twinned fruits。 Such cases do not
disturb the average arrangement； we have Changs and Engs at one pole；
and Cains and Abels at the other。 One child is born with six fingers
on each hand； and another falls short by one or more fingers of his
due allowance； but the glover puts his faith in the great law of
averages； and makes his gloves with five fingers apiece； trusting
nature for their counterparts。
Thinking people are not going to be scared out of explaining or at
least trying to explain things by the shrieks of persons whose
beliefs are disturbed thereby。 Comets were portents to Increase
Mather； President of Harvard College； 〃preachers of Divine wrath；
heralds and messengers of evil tidings to the world。〃 It is not so
very long since Professor Winthrop was teaching at the same
institution。 I can remember two of his boys very well； old boys； it
is true； they were； and one of them wore a three…cornered cocked hat；
but the father of these boys； whom； as I say； I can remember； had to
defend himself against the minister of the Old South Church for the
impiety of trying to account for earthquakes on natural principles。
And his ancestor； Governor Winthrop； would probably have shaken his
head over his descendant's dangerous audacity； if one may judge by
the solemn way in which he mentions poor Mrs。 Hutchinson's unpleasant
experience； which so grievously disappointed her maternal
expectations。 But people used always to be terribly frightened by
those irregular vital products which we now call 〃interesting
specimens〃 and carefully preserve in jars of alcohol。 It took next
to nothing to make a panic； a child was born a few centuries ago with
six teeth in its head； and about that time the Turks began gaining
great advantages over the Christians。 Of course there was an
intimate connection between the prodigy and the calamity。 So said
the wise men of that day。
All these out…of…the…way cases are studied connectedly now； and are
found to obey very exact rules。 With a little management one can
even manufacture living monstrosities。 Malformed salmon and other
fish can be supplied in quantity； if anybody happens to want them。
Now； what all I have said is tending to is exactly this； namely； that
just as the celestial movements are regulated by fixed laws； just as
bodily monstrosities are produced according to rule； and with as good
reason as normal shapes； so obliquities of character are to be
accounted for on perfectly natural principles； they are just as
capable of classification as the bodily ones； and they all diverge
from a certain average or middle term which is the type of its kind。
If life had been a little longer I would have written a number of
essays for which； as it is； I cannot expect to have time。 I have set
down the titles of a hundred or more； and I have often been tempted
to publish these； for according to my idea； the title of a book very
often renders the rest of it unnecessary。 〃Moral Teratology；〃 for
instance； which is marked No。 67 on my list of 〃Essays Potential； not
Actual；〃 suggests sufficiently well what I should be like to say in
the pages it would preface。 People hold up their hands at a moral
monster as if there was no reason for his existence but his own
choice。 That was a fine specimen we read of in the papers a few
years ago； the Frenchman； it may be remembered； who used to waylay
and murder young women； and after appropriating their effects； bury
their bodies in a private cemetery he kept for that purpose。 It is
very natural； and I do not say it is not very proper； to hang such
eccentric persons as this； but it is not clear whether his vagaries
produce any more sensation at Headquarters than the meek enterprises
of the mildest of city missionaries。 For the study of Moral
Teratology will teach you that you do not get such a malformed
character as that without a long chain of causes to account for it；
and if you only knew those causes； you would know perfectly well what
to expect。
You may feel pretty sure that our friend of the private cemetery was
not the child of pious and intelligent parents； that he was not
nurtured by the best of mothers； and educated by the most judicious
teachers； and that he did not come of a lineage long known and
honored for its intellectual and moral qualities。 Suppose that one
should go to the worst quarter of the city and pick out the worst…
looking child of the worst couple he could find； and then train him
up successively at the School for Infant Rogues； the Academy for
Young Scamps； and the College for Complete Criminal Education； would
it be reasonable to expect a Francois Xavier or a Henry Martyn to be
the result of such a training？ The traditionists； in whose
presumptuous hands the science of anthropology has been trusted from
time immemorial； have insisted on eliminating cause and effect from
the domain of morals。 When they have come across a moral monster
they have seemed to think that he put himself together； having a free
choice of all the constituents which make up manhood； and that
consequently no punishment could be too bad for him。
I say； hang him and welcome； if that is the best thing for society；
hate him； in a certain sense； as you hate a rattlesnake； but； if you
pretend to be a philosopher； recognize the fact that what you hate in
him is chiefly misfortune； and that if you had been born with his
villanous low forehead and poisoned instincts； and bred among
creatures of the Races Maudites whose natural history has to be
studied like that of beasts of prey and vermin； you would not have
been sitting there in your gold…bowed spectacles and passing judgment
on the peccadilloes of your fellow…creatures。
I have seen men and women so disinterested and noble； and devoted to
the best works； that it appeared to me if any good and faithful
servant was entitled to enter into the joys of his Lord； such as
these might be。 But I do not know that I ever met with a human being
who seemed to me to have a stronger claim on the pitying
consideration and kindness of his Maker than a wretched； puny；
crippled； stunted child that I saw in Newgate； who was pointed out as
one of the most notorious and inveterate little thieves in London。 I
have no doubt that some of those who were looking at this pitiable
morbid secretion of the diseased social organism thought they were
very virtuous for hating him so heartily。
It is natural； and in one sense is all right enough。 I want to catch
a thief and put the extinguisher on an incend