to the shorn lamb； when the solitary； whose hearts are shrivelling；
are not set in families！
The Master was greatly interested in the Scarabee's Muscarium。
I don't remember；he said；that I have heard of such a thing as
that before。 Mighty curious creatures； these same house…flies！ Talk
about miracles！ Was there ever anything more miraculous； so far as
our common observation goes； than the coming and the going of these
creatures？ Why didn't Job ask where the flies come from and where
they go to？ I did not say that you and I don't know； but how many
people do know anything about it？ Where are the cradles of the young
flies？ Where are the cemeteries of the dead ones； or do they die at
all except when we kill them？ You think all the flies of the year
are dead and gone； and there comes a warm day and all at once there
is a general resurrection of 'em； they had been taking a nap； that is
all。
I suppose you do not trust your spider in the Muscarium ？said I；
addressing the Scarabee。
Not exactly；he answered；she is a terrible creature。 She loves
me； I think； but she is a killer and a cannibal among other insects。
I wanted to pair her with a male spider； but it wouldn't do。
…Wouldn't do？said I；why not？ Don't spiders have their mates as
well as other folks？
…Oh yes； sometimes； but the females are apt to be particular； and if
they don't like the mate you offer them they fall upon him and kill
him and eat him up。 You see they are a great deal bigger and
stronger than the males； and they are always hungry and not always
particularly anxious to have one of the other sex bothering round。
Woman's rights！said I；there you have it！ Why don't those
talking ladies take a spider as their emblem？ Let them form
arachnoid associations； spinsters and spiders would be a good motto。
The Master smiled。 I think it was an eleemosynary smile； for my
pleasantry seems to me a particularly basso rilievo； as I look upon
it in cold blood。 But conversation at the best is only a thin
sprinkling of occasional felicities set in platitudes and
commonplaces。 I never heard people talk like the characters in the
〃School for Scandal；〃I should very much like to。…I say the Master
smiled。 But the Scarabee did not relax a muscle of his countenance。
There are persons whom the very mildest of faecetiae sets off into
such convulsions of laughter； that one is afraid lest they should
injure themselves。 Even when a jest misses fire completely； so that
it is no jest at all； but only a jocular intention； they laugh just
as heartily。 Leave out the point of your story； get the word wrong
on the duplicity of which the pun that was to excite hilarity
depended； and they still honor your abortive attempt with the most
lusty and vociferous merriment。
There is a very opposite class of persons whom anything in the nature
of a joke perplexes； troubles； and even sometimes irritates； seeming
to make them think they are trifled with； if not insulted。 If you
are fortunate enough to set the whole table laughing； one of this
class of persons will look inquiringly round； as if something had
happened； and； seeing everybody apparently amused but himself； feel
as if he was being laughed at； or at any rate as if something had
been said which he was not to hear。 Often； however； it does not go
so far as this； and there is nothing more than mere insensibility to
the cause of other people's laughter； a sort of joke…blindness；
comparable to the well…known color…blindness with which many persons
are afflicted as a congenital incapacity。
I have never seen the Scarabee smile。 I have seen him take off his
goggles；he breakfasts in these occasionally；I suppose when he has
been tiring his poor old eyes out over night gazing through his
microscope；I have seen him take his goggles off； I say； and stare
about him； when the rest of us were laughing at something which
amused us； but his features betrayed nothing more than a certain
bewilderment； as if we had been foreigners talking in an unknown
tongue。 I do not think it was a mere fancy of mine that he bears a
kind of resemblance to the tribe of insects he gives his life to
studying。 His shiny black coat； his rounded back； convex with years
of stooping over his minute work； his angular movements； made natural
to him by his habitual style of manipulation； the aridity of his
organism； with which his voice is in perfect keeping；all these
marks of his special sedentary occupation are so nearly what might be
expected； and indeed so much； in accordance with the more general
fact that a man's aspect is subdued to the look of what he works in；
that I do not feel disposed to accuse myself of exaggeration in my
account of the Scarabee's appearance。 But I think he has learned
something else of his coleopterous friends。 The beetles never smile。
Their physiognomy is not adapted to the display of the emotions； the
lateral movement of their jaws being effective for alimentary
purposes； but very limited in its gamut of expression。 It is with
these unemotional beings that the Scarabee passes his life。 He has
but one object； and that is perfectly serious； to his mind； in fact；
of absorbing interest and importance。 In one aspect of the matter he
is quite right； for if the Creator has taken the trouble to make one
of His creatures in just such a way and not otherwise； from the
beginning of its existence on our planet in ages of unknown
remoteness to the present time； the man who first explains His idea
to us is charged with a revelation。 It is by no means impossible
that there may be angels in the celestial hierarchy to whom it would
be new and interesting。 I have often thought that spirits of a
higher order than man might be willing to learn something from a
human mind like that of Newton； and I see no reason why an angelic
being might not be glad to hear a lecture from Mr。 Huxley； or Mr。
Tyndall； or one of our friends at Cambridge。
I have been sinuous as the Links of Forth seen from Stirling Castle；
or as that other river which threads the Berkshire valley and runs； a
perennial stream； through my memory；from which I please myself with
thinking that I have learned to wind without fretting against the
shore； or forgetting cohere I am flowing；sinuous； I say； but not
jerky；no； not jerky nor hard to follow for a reader of the right
sort； in the prime of life and full possession of his or her
faculties。
All this last page or so； you readily understand； has been my
private talk with you； the Reader。 The cue of the conversation which
I interrupted by this digression is to be found in the words 〃a good
motto；〃 from which I begin my acccount of the visit again。
Do you receive many visitors；I mean vertebrates； not articulates？
said the Master。
I thought this question might perhaps bring il disiato riso； the
long…wished…for smile； but the Scarabee interpreted it in the
simplest zoological sense； and neglected its hint of playfulness with
the most absolute unconsciousness； apparently； of anything not
entirely serious and literal。
You mean friends； I suppose；he answered。 I have correspondents；
but I have no friends except this spider。 I live alone； except when
I go to my subsection meetings； I get a box of insects now and then；
and send a few beetles to coleopterists in other entomological
districts； but science is exacting； and a man that wants to leave his
record has not much time for friendship。 There is no great chance
either for making friends among naturalists。 People that are at work
on different things do not care a great deal for each other's
specialties； and people that work on the same thing are always afraid
lest one should get ahead of the other； or steal some of his ideas
before he has made them public。 There are none too many people you
can trust in your laboratory。 I thought I had a friend once； but he
watched me at work and stole the discovery of a new species from me；
and； what is more； had it named after himself。 Since that time I
have liked spiders better than men。 They are hungry and savage； but
at any rate they spin their own webs out of their own insides。 I
like very well to talk with gentlemen that play with my branch of
entomology； I do not doubt it amused you； and if you want to see
anything I can show you； I shall have no scruple in letting you see
it。 I have never had any complaint to make of amatoors。
Upon my honor；I would hold my right hand up and take my Bible…
oath； if it was not busy with the pen at this moment；I do not
believe the Scarabee had the least idea in the world of the satire on
the student of the Order of Things implied in his invitation to the
〃amatoor。〃 As for the Master； he stood fire perfectly； as he always
does； but the idea that he； who had worked a considerable part of
several seasons at examining and preparing insects； who believed
himself to have given a new tabanus to the catalogue of native
diptera； the idea that he was playing with science； and might be
trusted anywhere as a harmless amateur； from whom no expert could
possibly fear any anticipation of his unpublished discoveries； went
beyond anything set down in that book of his which contained so much
of the strainings of his wisdom。
The poor little Scarabee began fidgeting round about this time； and
uttering some half…audible words； apologetical； partly； and involving
an allusion to refreshments。 As he spoke； he opened a small
cupboard； and as he did so out bolted an uninvited tenant of the
same； long in person； sable in hue； and swift of movement； on seeing
which the Scarabee simply said； without emotion； blatta； but I；
forgetting what was due to good manners； exclaimed cockroach！
We could not make up our minds to tax the Scarabee's hospitality；
already levied upon by the voracious articulate。 So we both alleged
a state of utter repletion； and did not solve the mystery of the
contents of the cupboard；not too luxurious； it may be conjectured；
and yet kindly offered； so that we felt there was a moist filament of
the social instinct running like a nerve through that exsiccated and
almost anhydrous organism。
We left him with professions of esteem and respect which were real。