gentleman that wrote the first book that advertised my establishment
（and never charged me a cent for it neither） merried the Schoolma'am。
And I think but that's between you and methat it 's going to be the
same thing right over again between that young gentleman and this
young girl hereif she doos n't kill herself with writing for them
news papers；it 's too bad they don't pay her more for writing her
stories； for I read one of 'em that made me cry so the Doctormy
Doctor Benjaminsaid； 〃Ma； what makes your eyes look so？〃 and wanted
to rig a machine up and look at 'em； but I told him what the matter
was； and that he needn't fix up his peeking contrivances on my
account；anyhow she's a nice young woman as ever lived； and as
industrious with that pen of hers as if she was at work with a
sewing…machine；and there ain't much difference； for that matter；
between sewing on shirts and writing on stories；one way you work
with your foot； and the other way you work with your fingers； but I
rather guess there's more headache in the stories than there is in
the stitches； because you don't have to think quite so hard while
your foot's going as you do when your fingers is at work； scratch；
scratch； scratch； scribble； scribble； scribble。
It occurred to me that this last suggestion of the Landlady was worth
considering by the soft…handed； broadcloth…clad spouters to the
laboring classes；so called in distinction from the idle people who
only contrive the machinery and discover the processes and lay out
the work and draw the charts and organize the various movements which
keep the world going and make it tolerable。 The organ…blower works
harder with his muscles； for that matter； than the organ player； and
may perhaps be exasperated into thinking himself a downtrodden martyr
because he does not receive the same pay for his services。
I will not pretend that it needed the Landlady's sagacious guess
about the Young Astronomer and his pupil to open my eyes to certain
possibilities； if not probabilities； in that direction。 Our
Scheherezade kept on writing her stories according to agreement； so
many pages for so many dollars； but some of her readers began to
complain that they could not always follow her quite so well as in
her earlier efforts。 It seemed as if she must have fits of absence。
In one instance her heroine began as a blonde and finished as a
brunette； not in consequence of the use of any cosmetic； but through
simple inadvertence。 At last it happened in one of her stories that
a prominent character who had been killed in an early page； not
equivocally； but mortally； definitively killed； done for； and
disposed of； reappeared as if nothing had happened towards the close
of her narrative。 Her mind was on something else； and she had got
two stories mixed up and sent her manuscript without having looked it
over。 She told this mishap to the Lady； as something she was
dreadfully ashamed of and could not possibly account for。 It had
cost her a sharp note from the publisher； and would be as good as a
dinner to some half…starved Bohemian of the critical press。
The Lady listened to all this very thoughtfully； looking at her with
great tenderness； and said； 〃My poor child！〃 Not another word then；
but her silence meant a good deal。
When a man holds his tongue it does not signify much。 But when a
woman dispenses with the office of that mighty member； when she
sheathes her natural weapon at a trying moment； it means that she
trusts to still more formidable enginery； to tears it may be； a
solvent more powerful than that with which Hannibal softened the
Alpine rocks； or to the heaving bosom； the sight of which has subdued
so many stout natures； or； it may be； to a sympathizing； quieting
look which says 〃Peace； be still！〃 to the winds and waves of the
little inland ocean； in a language that means more than speech。
While these matters were going on the Master and I had many talks on
many subjects。 He had found me a pretty good listener； for I had
learned that the best way of getting at what was worth having from
him was to wind him up with a question and let him run down all of
himself。 It is easy to turn a good talker into an insufferable bore
by contradicting him； and putting questions for him to stumble over；
that is； if he is not a bore already； as 〃good talkers 〃 are apt to
be； except now and then。
We had been discussing some knotty points one morning when he said
all at once：
Come into my library with me。 I want to read you some new passages
from an interleaved copy of my book。 You haven't read the printed
part yet。 I gave you a copy of it； but nobody reads a book that is
given to him。 Of course not。 Nobody but a fool expects him to。 He
reads a little in it here and there； perhaps； and he cuts all the
leaves if he cares enough about the writer； who will be sure to call
on him some day； and if he is left alone in his library for five
minutes will have hunted every corner of it until he has found the
book he sent；if it is to be found at all； which does n't always
happen； if there's a penal colony anywhere in a garret or closet for
typographical offenders and vagrants。
What do you do when you receive a book you don't want； from the
author？said I。
Give him a good…natured adjective or two if I can； and thank him；
and tell him I am lying under a sense of obligation to him。
That is as good an excuse for lying as almost any；I said。
Yes； but look out for the fellows that send you a copy of their
book to trap you into writing a bookseller's advertisement for it。 I
got caught so once； and never heard the end of it and never shall
hear it。…He took down an elegantly bound volume； on opening which
appeared a flourishing and eminently flattering dedication to
himself。…There；said he； what could I do less than acknowledge
such a compliment in polite terms； and hope and expect the book would
prove successful； and so forth and so forth？ Well； I get a letter
every few months from some new locality where the man that made that
book is covering the fences with his placards； asking me whether I
wrote that letter which he keeps in stereotype and has kept so any
time these dozen or fifteen years。 Animus tuus oculus； as the
freshmen used to say。 If her Majesty； the Queen of England； sends
you a copy of her 〃Leaves from the Journal of Our Life in the
Highlands；〃 be sure you mark your letter of thanks for it Private！
We had got comfortably seated in his library in the mean time； and
the Master had taken up his book。 I noticed that every other page
was left blank； and that he had written in a good deal of new matter。
I tell you what；he said；there 's so much intelligence about
nowadays in books and newspapers and talk that it's mighty hard to
write without getting something or other worth listening to into your
essay or your volume。 The foolishest book is a kind of leaky boat on
a sea of wisdom； some of the wisdom will get in anyhow。 Every now
and then I find something in my book that seems so good to me； I
can't help thinking it must have leaked in。 I suppose other people
discover that it came through a leak； full as soon as I do。 You must
write a book or two to find out how much and how little you know and
have to say。 Then you must read some notices of it by somebody that
loves you and one or two by somebody that hates you。 You 'll find
yourself a very odd piece of property after you 've been through
these experiences。 They 're trying to the constitution； I'm always
glad to hear that a friend is as well as can be expected after he 's
had a book。
You must n't think there are no better things in these pages of mine
than the ones I'm going to read you； but you may come across
something here that I forgot to say when we were talking over these
matters。
He began； reading from the manuscript portion of his book：
We find it hard to get and to keep any private property in thought。
Other people are all the time saying the same things we are hoarding
to say when we get ready。 ＇He looked up from his book just here and
said； 〃Don't be afraid； I am not going to quote Pereant。〃＇ One of our
old boardersthe one that called himself 〃The Professor〃 I think it
wassaid some pretty audacious things about what he called
〃pathological piety；〃 as I remember； in one of his papers。 And here
comes along Mr。 Galton； and shows in detail from religious
biographies that 〃there is a frequent correlation between an
unusually devout disposition and a weak constitution。〃 Neither of
them appeared to know that John Bunyan had got at the same fact long
before them。 He tells us； 〃The more healthy the lusty man is； the
more prone he is unto evil。〃 If the converse is true； no wonder that
good people； according to Bunyan； are always in trouble and terror；
for he says；
〃A Christian man is never long at ease；
When one fright is gone； another doth him seize。〃
If invalidism and the nervous timidity which is apt to go with it are
elements of spiritual superiority； it follows that pathology and
toxicology should form a most important part of a theological
education； so that a divine might know how to keep a parish in a
state of chronic bad health in order that it might be virtuous。
It is a great mistake to think that a man's religion is going to rid
him of his natural qualities。 〃Bishop Hall〃 （as you may remember to
have seen quoted elsewhere） 〃prefers Nature before Grace in the
Election of a wife； because； saith he； it will be a hard Task； where
the Nature is peevish and froward； for Grace to make an entire
conquest while Life lasteth。〃
〃Nature〃 and 〃Grace〃 have been contrasted with each other in a way
not very respectful to the Divine omnipotence。 Kings and queens
reign 〃by the Grace of God；〃 but a sweet； docile； pious disposition；
such as is born in some children and grows up with them；that
congenital gift which good Bishop Hall would look for in a wife；is
attributed to 〃Nature。〃 In fact 〃Nature〃 and 〃Grace；〃 as handled by
the scholastics； are nothing more nor less than two hostile
Divinities in the Pantheon of post…classical polytheism。
What is the secret of the profound interest which 〃Darwinism 〃 ha