IS¡¡SHAKESPEARE¡¡DEAD£¿
£¨from¡¡My¡¡Autobiography£©
Scattered¡¡here¡¡and¡¡there¡¡through¡¡the¡¡stacks¡¡of¡¡unpublished
manuscript¡¡which¡¡constitute¡¡this¡¡formidable¡¡Autobiography¡¡and
Diary¡¡of¡¡mine£»¡¡certain¡¡chapters¡¡will¡¡in¡¡some¡¡distant¡¡future¡¡be
found¡¡which¡¡deal¡¡with¡¡¡¨Claimants¡¨claimants¡¡historically
notorious£º¡¡¡¡Satan£»¡¡Claimant£»¡¡the¡¡Golden¡¡Calf£»¡¡Claimant£»¡¡the
Veiled¡¡Prophet¡¡of¡¡Khorassan£»¡¡Claimant£»¡¡Louis¡¡XVII¡££»¡¡Claimant£»
William¡¡Shakespeare£»¡¡Claimant£»¡¡Arthur¡¡Orton£»¡¡Claimant£»¡¡Mary¡¡Baker
G¡£¡¡Eddy£»¡¡Claimantand¡¡the¡¡rest¡¡of¡¡them¡£¡¡¡¡Eminent¡¡Claimants£»
successful¡¡Claimants£»¡¡defeated¡¡Claimants£»¡¡royal¡¡Claimants£»¡¡pleb
Claimants£»¡¡showy¡¡Claimants£»¡¡shabby¡¡Claimants£»¡¡revered¡¡Claimants£»
despised¡¡Claimants£»¡¡twinkle¡¡star¡like¡¡here¡¡and¡¡there¡¡and¡¡yonder
through¡¡the¡¡mists¡¡of¡¡history¡¡and¡¡legend¡¡and¡¡traditionand£»¡¡oh£»
all¡¡the¡¡darling¡¡tribe¡¡are¡¡clothed¡¡in¡¡mystery¡¡and¡¡romance£»¡¡and¡¡we
read¡¡about¡¡them¡¡with¡¡deep¡¡interest¡¡and¡¡discuss¡¡them¡¡with¡¡loving
sympathy¡¡or¡¡with¡¡rancorous¡¡resentment£»¡¡according¡¡to¡¡which¡¡side¡¡we
hitch¡¡ourselves¡¡to¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡has¡¡always¡¡been¡¡so¡¡with¡¡the¡¡human¡¡race¡£
There¡¡was¡¡never¡¡a¡¡Claimant¡¡that¡¡couldn't¡¡get¡¡a¡¡hearing£»¡¡nor¡¡one
that¡¡couldn't¡¡accumulate¡¡a¡¡rapturous¡¡following£»¡¡no¡¡matter¡¡how
flimsy¡¡and¡¡apparently¡¡unauthentic¡¡his¡¡claim¡¡might¡¡be¡£¡¡¡¡Arthur
Orton's¡¡claim¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡the¡¡lost¡¡Tichborne¡¡baronet¡¡come¡¡to¡¡life
again¡¡was¡¡as¡¡flimsy¡¡as¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Eddy's¡¡that¡¡she¡¡wrote¡¡SCIENCE¡¡AND
HEALTH¡¡from¡¡the¡¡direct¡¡dictation¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Deity£»¡¡yet¡¡in¡¡England
nearly¡¡forty¡¡years¡¡ago¡¡Orton¡¡had¡¡a¡¡huge¡¡army¡¡of¡¡devotees¡¡and
incorrigible¡¡adherents£»¡¡many¡¡of¡¡whom¡¡remained¡¡stubbornly
unconvinced¡¡after¡¡their¡¡fat¡¡god¡¡had¡¡been¡¡proven¡¡an¡¡impostor¡¡and
jailed¡¡as¡¡a¡¡perjurer£»¡¡and¡¡today¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Eddy's¡¡following¡¡is¡¡not¡¡only
immense£»¡¡but¡¡is¡¡daily¡¡augmenting¡¡in¡¡numbers¡¡and¡¡enthusiasm¡£
Orton¡¡had¡¡many¡¡fine¡¡and¡¡educated¡¡minds¡¡among¡¡his¡¡adherents£»¡¡Mrs¡£
Eddy¡¡has¡¡had¡¡the¡¡like¡¡among¡¡hers¡¡from¡¡the¡¡beginning¡£¡¡¡¡Her¡¡Church
is¡¡as¡¡well¡¡equipped¡¡in¡¡those¡¡particulars¡¡as¡¡is¡¡any¡¡other¡¡Church¡£
Claimants¡¡can¡¡always¡¡count¡¡upon¡¡a¡¡following£»¡¡it¡¡doesn't¡¡matter
who¡¡they¡¡are£»¡¡nor¡¡what¡¡they¡¡claim£»¡¡nor¡¡whether¡¡they¡¡come¡¡with
documents¡¡or¡¡without¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡was¡¡always¡¡so¡£¡¡¡¡Down¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡long¡
vanished¡¡past£»¡¡across¡¡the¡¡abyss¡¡of¡¡the¡¡ages£»¡¡if¡¡you¡¡listen£»¡¡you
can¡¡still¡¡hear¡¡the¡¡believing¡¡multitudes¡¡shouting¡¡for¡¡Perkin
Warbeck¡¡and¡¡Lambert¡¡Simnel¡£
A¡¡friend¡¡has¡¡sent¡¡me¡¡a¡¡new¡¡book£»¡¡from¡¡EnglandTHE
SHAKESPEARE¡¡PROBLEM¡¡RESTATEDwell¡¡restated¡¡and¡¡closely¡¡reasoned£»
and¡¡my¡¡fifty¡¡years'¡¡interest¡¡in¡¡that¡¡matterasleep¡¡for¡¡the¡¡last
three¡¡yearsis¡¡excited¡¡once¡¡more¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡an¡¡interest¡¡which¡¡was
born¡¡of¡¡Delia¡¡Bacon's¡¡bookaway¡¡back¡¡in¡¡the¡¡ancient¡¡day1857£»
or¡¡maybe¡¡1856¡£¡¡¡¡About¡¡a¡¡year¡¡later¡¡my¡¡pilot¡master£»¡¡Bixby£»
transferred¡¡me¡¡from¡¡his¡¡own¡¡steamboat¡¡to¡¡the¡¡PENNSYLVANIA£»¡¡and
placed¡¡me¡¡under¡¡the¡¡orders¡¡and¡¡instructions¡¡of¡¡George¡¡Ealerdead
now£»¡¡these¡¡many£»¡¡many¡¡years¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡steered¡¡for¡¡him¡¡a¡¡good¡¡many
monthsas¡¡was¡¡the¡¡humble¡¡duty¡¡of¡¡the¡¡pilot¡apprentice£º¡¡¡¡stood¡¡a
daylight¡¡watch¡¡and¡¡spun¡¡the¡¡wheel¡¡under¡¡the¡¡severe
superintendence¡¡and¡¡correction¡¡of¡¡the¡¡master¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡was¡¡a¡¡prime
chess¡player¡¡and¡¡an¡¡idolater¡¡of¡¡Shakespeare¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡would¡¡play¡¡chess
with¡¡anybody£»¡¡even¡¡with¡¡me£»¡¡and¡¡it¡¡cost¡¡his¡¡official¡¡dignity
something¡¡to¡¡do¡¡that¡£¡¡¡¡Alsoquite¡¡uninvitedhe¡¡would¡¡read
Shakespeare¡¡to¡¡me£»¡¡not¡¡just¡¡casually£»¡¡but¡¡by¡¡the¡¡hour£»¡¡when¡¡it
was¡¡his¡¡watch¡¡and¡¡I¡¡was¡¡steering¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡read¡¡well£»¡¡but¡¡not
profitably¡¡for¡¡me£»¡¡because¡¡he¡¡constantly¡¡injected¡¡commands¡¡into
the¡¡text¡£¡¡¡¡That¡¡broke¡¡it¡¡all¡¡up£»¡¡mixed¡¡it¡¡all¡¡up£»¡¡tangled¡¡it¡¡all
upto¡¡that¡¡degree£»¡¡in¡¡fact£»¡¡that¡¡if¡¡we¡¡were¡¡in¡¡a¡¡risky¡¡and
difficult¡¡piece¡¡of¡¡river¡¡an¡¡ignorant¡¡person¡¡couldn't¡¡have¡¡told£»
sometimes£»¡¡which¡¡observations¡¡were¡¡Shakespeare's¡¡and¡¡which¡¡were
Ealer's¡£¡¡¡¡For¡¡instance£º
What¡¡man¡¡dare£»¡¡_I_¡¡dare£¡
Approach¡¡thou¡¡WHAT¡¡are¡¡you¡¡laying¡¡in¡¡the¡¡leads¡¡for£¿¡¡what¡¡a
hell¡¡of¡¡an¡¡idea£¡¡¡like¡¡the¡¡rugged¡¡ease¡¡her¡¡off¡¡a¡¡little£»¡¡ease¡¡her
off£¡¡¡rugged¡¡Russian¡¡bear£»¡¡the¡¡armed¡¡rhinoceros¡¡or¡¡the¡¡THERE¡¡she
goes£¡¡¡meet¡¡her£»¡¡meet¡¡her£¡¡¡didn't¡¡you¡¡KNOW¡¡she'd¡¡smell¡¡the¡¡reef¡¡if
you¡¡crowded¡¡in¡¡like¡¡that£¿¡¡¡¡Hyrcan¡¡tiger£»¡¡take¡¡any¡¡ship¡¡but¡¡that
and¡¡my¡¡firm¡¡nerves¡¡she'll¡¡be¡¡in¡¡the¡¡WOODS¡¡the¡¡first¡¡you¡¡know£¡
stop¡¡he¡¡starboard£¡¡¡come¡¡ahead¡¡strong¡¡on¡¡the¡¡larboard£¡¡¡back¡¡the
starboard£¡¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡NOW¡¡then£»¡¡you're¡¡all¡¡right£»¡¡come¡¡ahead¡¡on¡¡the
starboard£»¡¡straighten¡¡up¡¡and¡¡go¡¡'long£»¡¡never¡¡tremble£º¡¡¡¡or¡¡be
alive¡¡again£»¡¡and¡¡dare¡¡me¡¡to¡¡the¡¡desert¡¡DAMNATION¡¡can't¡¡you¡¡keep
away¡¡from¡¡that¡¡greasy¡¡water£¿¡¡pull¡¡her¡¡down£¡¡¡snatch¡¡her£¡¡¡snatch
her¡¡baldheaded£¡¡¡with¡¡thy¡¡sword£»¡¡if¡¡trembling¡¡I¡¡inhabit¡¡then£»¡¡lay
in¡¡the¡¡leads£¡no£»¡¡only¡¡with¡¡the¡¡starboard¡¡one£»¡¡leave¡¡the¡¡other
alone£»¡¡protest¡¡me¡¡the¡¡baby¡¡of¡¡a¡¡girl¡£¡¡¡¡Hence¡¡horrible¡¡shadow£¡
eight¡¡bellsthat¡¡watchman's¡¡asleep¡¡again£»¡¡I¡¡reckon£»¡¡go¡¡down¡¡and
call¡¡Brown¡¡yourself£»¡¡unreal¡¡mockery£»¡¡hence£¡
He¡¡certainly¡¡was¡¡a¡¡good¡¡reader£»¡¡and¡¡splendidly¡¡thrilling¡¡and
stormy¡¡and¡¡tragic£»¡¡but¡¡it¡¡was¡¡a¡¡damage¡¡to¡¡me£»¡¡because¡¡I¡¡have
never¡¡since¡¡been¡¡able¡¡to¡¡read¡¡Shakespeare¡¡in¡¡a¡¡calm¡¡and¡¡sane¡¡way¡£
I¡¡cannot¡¡rid¡¡it¡¡of¡¡his¡¡explosive¡¡interlardings£»¡¡they¡¡break¡¡in
everywhere¡¡with¡¡their¡¡irrelevant£»¡¡¡¨What¡¡in¡¡hell¡¡are¡¡you¡¡up¡¡to
NOW£¡¡¡pull¡¡her¡¡down£¡¡¡more£¡¡¡MORE£¡there¡¡now£»¡¡steady¡¡as¡¡you¡¡go£»¡¨
and¡¡the¡¡other¡¡disorganizing¡¡interruptions¡¡that¡¡were¡¡always
leaping¡¡from¡¡his¡¡mouth¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡I¡¡read¡¡Shakespeare¡¡now¡¡I¡¡can¡¡hear
them¡¡as¡¡plainly¡¡as¡¡I¡¡did¡¡in¡¡that¡¡long¡departed¡¡timefifty¡one
years¡¡ago¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡never¡¡regarded¡¡Ealer's¡¡readings¡¡as¡¡educational¡£
Indeed£»¡¡they¡¡were¡¡a¡¡detriment¡¡to¡¡me¡£
His¡¡contributions¡¡to¡¡the¡¡text¡¡seldom¡¡improved¡¡it£»¡¡but
barring¡¡that¡¡detail¡¡he¡¡was¡¡a¡¡good¡¡reader£»¡¡I¡¡can¡¡say¡¡that¡¡much¡¡for
him¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡did¡¡not¡¡use¡¡the¡¡book£»¡¡and¡¡did¡¡not¡¡need¡¡to£»¡¡he¡¡knew¡¡his
Shakespeare¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡Euclid¡¡ever¡¡knew¡¡his¡¡multiplication¡¡table¡£
Did¡¡he¡¡have¡¡something¡¡to¡¡saythis¡¡Shakespeare¡adoring
Mississippi¡¡pilotanent¡¡Delia¡¡Bacon's¡¡book£¿
Yes¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡he¡¡said¡¡it£»¡¡said¡¡it¡¡all¡¡the¡¡time£»¡¡for¡¡monthsin
the¡¡morning¡¡watch£»¡¡the¡¡middle¡¡watch£»¡¡and¡¡dog¡¡watch£»¡¡and¡¡probably
kept¡¡it¡¡going¡¡in¡¡his¡¡sleep¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡bought¡¡the¡¡literature¡¡of¡¡the
dispute¡¡as¡¡fast¡¡as¡¡it¡¡appeared£»¡¡and¡¡we¡¡discussed¡¡it¡¡all¡¡through
thirteen¡¡hundred¡¡miles¡¡of¡¡river¡¡four¡¡times¡¡traversed¡¡in¡¡every
thirty¡five¡¡daysthe¡¡time¡¡required¡¡by¡¡that¡¡swift¡¡boat¡¡to¡¡achieve
two¡¡round¡¡trips¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡discussed£»¡¡and¡¡discussed£»¡¡and¡¡discussed£»¡¡and
disputed¡¡and¡¡disputed¡¡and¡¡disputed£»¡¡at¡¡any¡¡rate£»¡¡HE¡¡did£»¡¡and¡¡I
got¡¡in¡¡a¡¡word¡¡now¡¡and¡¡then¡¡when¡¡he¡¡slipped¡¡a¡¡cog¡¡and¡¡there¡¡was¡¡a
vacancy¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡did¡¡his¡¡arguing¡¡with¡¡heat£»¡¡with¡¡energy£»¡¡with
violence£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡did¡¡mine¡¡with¡¡the¡¡reverse¡¡and¡¡moderation¡¡of¡¡a
subordinate¡¡who¡¡does¡¡not¡¡like¡¡to¡¡be¡¡flung¡¡out¡¡of¡¡a¡¡pilot¡house
and¡¡is¡¡perched¡¡forty¡¡feet¡¡above¡¡the¡¡water¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡was¡¡fiercely¡¡loyal
to¡¡Shakespeare¡¡and¡¡cordially¡¡scornful¡¡of¡¡Bacon¡¡and¡¡of¡¡all¡¡the
pretensions¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Baconians¡£¡¡¡¡So¡¡was¡¡Iat¡¡first¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡at¡¡first
he¡¡was¡¡glad¡¡that¡¡that¡¡was¡¡my¡¡attitude¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡were¡¡even
indications¡¡that¡¡he¡¡admired¡¡it£»¡¡indications¡¡dimmed£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡true£»
by¡¡the¡¡distance¡¡that¡¡lay¡¡between¡¡the¡¡lofty¡¡boss¡pilotical
altitude¡¡and¡¡my¡¡lowly¡¡one£»¡¡yet¡¡perceptible¡¡to¡¡me£»¡¡perceptible£»
and¡¡translatable¡¡into¡¡a¡¡complimentcompliment¡¡coming¡¡down¡¡from
about¡¡the¡¡snow¡line¡¡and¡¡not¡¡well¡¡thawed¡¡in¡¡the¡¡transit£»¡¡and¡¡not
likely¡¡to¡¡set¡¡anything¡¡afire£»¡¡not¡¡even¡¡a¡¡cub¡pilot's¡¡self¡
conceit£»¡¡still¡¡a¡¡detectable¡¡complement£»¡¡and¡¡precious¡£
Naturally¡¡it¡¡flattered¡¡me¡¡into¡¡being¡¡more¡¡loyal¡¡to¡¡Shakespeare
if¡¡possiblethan¡¡I¡¡was¡¡before£»¡¡and¡¡more¡¡prejudiced¡¡against
Baconif¡¡possiblethat¡¡I¡¡was¡¡before¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡so¡¡we¡¡discussed
and¡¡discussed£»¡¡both¡¡on¡¡the¡¡same¡¡side£»¡¡and¡¡were¡¡happy¡£
For¡¡a¡¡while¡£¡¡¡¡Only¡¡for¡¡a¡¡while¡£¡¡¡¡Only¡¡for¡¡a¡¡very¡¡little¡¡while£»
a¡¡very£»¡¡very£»¡¡very¡¡little¡¡while¡£¡¡¡¡Then¡¡the¡¡atmosphere¡¡began
to¡¡change£»¡¡began¡¡to¡¡cool¡¡off¡£
A¡¡brighter¡¡person¡¡would¡¡have¡¡seen¡¡what¡¡the¡¡trouble¡¡was£»
earlier¡¡than¡¡I¡¡did£»¡¡perhaps£»¡¡but¡¡I¡¡saw¡¡it¡¡early¡¡enough¡¡for¡¡all
practical¡¡purposes¡£¡¡¡¡You¡¡see£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡of¡¡an¡¡argumentative
disposition¡£¡¡¡¡Therefore¡¡it¡¡took¡¡him¡¡but¡¡a¡¡little¡¡time¡¡to¡¡get
tired¡¡of¡¡arguing¡¡with¡¡a¡¡person¡¡who¡¡agreed¡¡with¡¡everything¡¡he¡¡said
and¡¡consequently¡¡never¡¡furnished¡¡him¡¡a¡¡provocative¡¡to¡¡flare¡¡up
and¡¡show¡¡what¡¡he¡¡could¡¡do¡¡when¡¡it¡¡came¡¡to¡¡clear£»¡¡cold£»¡¡hard£»
rose¡cut£»¡¡hundred¡faceted£»¡¡diamond¡flashing¡¡REASONING¡£¡¡¡¡That¡¡was
his¡¡name¡¡for¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡has¡¡been¡¡applied¡¡since£»¡¡with¡¡complacency£»¡¡as
many¡¡as¡¡several¡¡times£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Bacon¡Shakespeare¡¡scuffle¡£¡¡¡¡On¡¡the
Shakespeare¡¡side¡£
Then¡¡the¡¡thing¡¡happened¡¡which¡¡has¡¡happened¡¡to¡¡more¡¡persons
than¡¡to¡¡me¡¡when¡¡principle¡¡and¡¡personal¡¡interest¡¡found¡¡themselves
in¡¡opposition¡¡to¡¡each¡¡other¡¡and¡¡a¡¡choice¡¡had¡¡to¡¡be¡¡made£º¡¡¡¡I¡¡let
principle¡¡go£»¡¡and¡¡went¡¡over¡¡to¡¡the¡¡other¡¡side¡£¡¡¡¡Not¡¡the¡¡entire
way£»¡¡but¡¡far¡¡enough¡¡to¡¡answer¡¡the¡¡requirements¡¡of¡¡the¡¡case¡£¡¡¡¡That
is¡¡to¡¡say£»¡¡I¡¡took¡¡this¡¡attitudeto¡¡wit£»¡¡I¡¡only¡¡BELIEVED¡¡Bacon
wrote¡¡Shakespeare£»¡¡whereas¡¡I¡¡KNEW¡¡Shakespeare¡¡didn't¡£¡¡¡¡Ealer¡¡was
satisfied¡¡with¡¡that£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡war¡¡broke¡¡loose¡£¡¡¡¡Study£»¡¡practice£»
experience¡¡in¡¡handling¡¡my¡¡end¡¡of¡¡the¡¡matter¡¡presently¡¡enabled¡¡me
to¡¡take¡¡my¡¡new¡¡position¡¡almost¡¡seriously£»¡¡a¡¡little¡¡bit¡¡later£»
utterly¡¡seriously£»¡¡a¡¡little¡¡later¡¡still£»¡¡lovingly£»¡¡gratefully£»
devotedly£»¡¡finally£º¡¡¡¡fiercely£»¡¡rabidly£»¡¡uncompromisingly¡£¡¡¡¡After
that¡¡I¡¡was¡¡welded¡¡to¡¡my¡¡faith£»¡¡I¡¡was¡¡theoretically¡¡ready¡¡to¡¡die
for¡¡it£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡looked¡¡down¡¡with¡¡compassion¡¡not¡¡unmixed¡¡with¡¡scorn
upon¡¡everybody¡¡else's¡¡faith¡¡that¡¡didn't¡¡tally¡¡with¡¡mine¡£¡¡¡¡That
faith£»¡¡imposed¡¡upon¡¡me¡¡by¡¡self¡interest¡¡in¡¡that¡¡ancient¡¡day£»
remains¡¡my¡¡faith¡¡today£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡it¡¡I¡¡find¡¡comfort£»¡¡solace£»¡¡peace£»
and¡¡never¡failing¡¡joy¡£¡¡¡¡You¡¡see¡¡how¡¡curiously¡¡theological¡¡it¡¡is¡£
The¡¡¡¨rice¡¡Christian¡¨¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Orient¡¡goes¡¡through¡¡the¡¡very¡¡same
steps£»¡¡when¡¡he¡¡is¡¡after¡¡rice¡¡and¡¡the¡¡missionary¡¡is¡¡after¡¡HIM£»¡¡he
goes¡¡for¡¡rice£»¡¡and¡¡remains¡¡to¡¡worship¡£
Ealer¡¡did¡¡a¡¡lot¡¡of¡¡our¡¡¡¨reasoning¡¨not¡¡to¡¡say¡¡substantially
all¡¡of¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡slaves¡¡of¡¡his¡¡cult¡¡have¡¡a¡¡passion¡¡for¡¡calling¡¡it
by¡¡that¡¡large¡¡name¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡others¡¡do¡¡not¡¡call¡¡our¡¡inductions¡¡and
deductions¡¡and¡¡reductions¡¡by¡¡any¡¡name¡¡at¡¡all¡£¡¡¡¡They¡¡show¡¡for
themselves¡¡what¡¡they¡¡are£»¡¡and¡¡we¡¡can¡¡with¡¡tranquil¡¡confidence
leave¡¡the¡¡world¡¡to¡¡ennoble¡¡them¡¡with¡¡a¡¡title¡¡of¡¡its¡¡own¡¡choosing¡£
СÌáʾ£º°´ »Ø³µ [Enter] ¼ü ·µ»ØÊéÄ¿£¬°´ ¡û ¼ü ·µ»ØÉÏÒ»Ò³£¬ °´ ¡ú ¼ü ½øÈëÏÂÒ»Ò³¡£
ÔÞÒ»ÏÂ
Ìí¼ÓÊéÇ©¼ÓÈëÊé¼Ü