green mansions- 第44部分

From　that　first　sleep　under　shelter　I　woke　refreshed；　and　was　not　driven　by　the　cruel　spur　of　hunger　into　the　wet　forest。　　The　wished　time　had　come　of　rest　from　labour；　of　leisure　for　thought。　Resting　here；　just　where　she　had　rested；　night　by　night　clasping　a　visionary　mother　in　her　arms；　whispering　tenderest　words　in　a　visionary　ear；　I　too　now　clasped　her　in　my　armsa　visionary　Rima。　　How　different　the　nights　had　seemed　when　I　was　without　shelter；　before　I　had　rediscovered　fire！　　How　had　I　endured　it？　That　strange　ghostly　gloom　of　the　woods　at　night…time　full　of　innumerable　strange　shapes；　still　and　dark；　yet　with　something　seen　at　times　moving　amidst　them；　dark　and　vague　and　strange　alsoan　owl；　perhaps；　or　bat；　or　great　winged　moth；　or　nightjar。　Nor　had　I　any　choice　then　but　to　listen　to　the　night…sounds　of　the　forest；　and　they　were　various　as　the　day…sounds；　and　for　every　day…sound；　from　the　faintest　lisping　and　softest　trill　to　the　deep　boomings　and　piercing　cries；　there　was　an　analogue；　always　with　something　mysterious；　unreal　in　its　tone；　something　proper　to　the　night。　　They　were　ghostly　sounds；　uttered　by　the　ghosts　of　dead　animals；　they　were　a　hundred　different　things　by　turns；　but　always　with　a　meaning　in　them；　which　I　vainly　strove　to　catchsomething　to　be　interpreted　only　by　a　sleeping　faculty　in　us；　lightly　sleeping；　and　now；　now　on　the　very　point　of　awaking！

Now　the　gloom　and　the　mystery　were　shut　out；　now　I　had　that　which　stood　in　the　place　of　pleasure　to　me；　and　was　more　than　pleasure。　It　was　a　mournful　rapture　to　lie　awake　now；　wishing　not　for　sleep　and　oblivion；　hating　the　thought　of　daylight　that　would　come　at　last　to　drown　and　scare　away　my　vision。　　To　be　with　Rima　againmy　lost　Rima　recoveredmine；　mine　at　last！　　No　longer　the　old　vexing　doubt　now〃You　are　you；　and　I　am　Iwhy　is　it？〃the　question　asked　when　our　souls　were　near　together；　like　two　raindrops　side　by　side；　drawing　irresistibly　nearer；　ever　nearer：　for　now　they　had　touched　and　were　not　two；　but　one　inseparable　drop；　crystallized　beyond　change；　not　to　be　disintegrated　by　time；　nor　shattered　by　death's　blow；　nor　resolved　by　any　alchemy。

I　had　other　company　besides　this　unfailing　vision　and　the　bright　dancing　fire　that　talked　to　me　in　its　fantastic　fire　language。　　It　was　my　custom　to　secure　the　door　well　on　retiring；　grief　had　perhaps　chilled　my　blood；　for　I　suffered　less　from　heat　than　from　cold　at　this　period；　and　the　fire　seemed　grateful　all　night　long；　I　was　also　anxious　to　exclude　all　small　winged　and　creeping　night…wanderers。　　But　to　exclude　them　entirely　proved　impossible：　through　a　dozen　invisible　chinks　they　would　find　their　way　to　me；　also　some　entered　by　day　to　lie　concealed　until　after　nightfall。　A　monstrous　hairy　hermit　spider　found　an　asylum　in　a　dusky　corner　of　the　hut；　under　the　thatch；　and　day　after　day　he　was　there；　all　day　long；　sitting　close　and　motionless；　but　at　dark　he　invariably　disappearedwho　knows　on　what　murderous　errand！　　His　hue　was　a　deep　dead…leaf　yellow；　with　a　black　and　grey　pattern；　borrowed　from　some　wild　cat；　and　so　large　was　he　that　his　great　outspread　hairy　legs；　radiating　from　the　flat　disk　of　his　body；　would　have　covered　a　man's　open　hand。　　It　was　easy　to　see　him　in　my　small　interior；　often　in　the　night…time　my　eyes　would　stray　to　his　corner；　never　to　encounter　that　strange　hairy　figure；　but　daylight　failed　not　to　bring　him。　　He　troubled　me；　but　now；　for　Rima's　sake；　1　could　slay　no　living　thing　except　from　motives　of　hunger。　　I　had　it　in　my　mind　to　injure　himto　strike　off　one　of　his　legs；　which　would　not　be　missed　much；　as　they　were　manyso　as　to　make　him　go　away　and　return　no　more　to　so　inhospitable　a　place。　　But　courage　failed　me。　　He　might　come　stealthily　back　at　night　to　plunge　his　long；　crooked　farces　into　my　throat；　poisoning　my　blood　with　fever　and　delirium　and　black　death。　　So　I　left　him　alone；　and　glanced　furtively　and　fearfully　at　him；　hoping　that　he　had　not　divined　any　thoughts；　thus　we　lived　on　unsocially　together。　　More　companionable；　but　still　in　an　uncomfortable　way；　were　the　large　crawling；　running　insectscrickets；　beetles；　and　others。　　They　were　shapely　and　black　and　polished；　and　ran　about　here　and　there　on　the　floor；　just　like　intelligent　little　horseless　carriages；　then　they　would　pause　with　their　immovable　eyes　fixed　on　me；　seeing　or　in　some　mysterious　way　divining　my　presence；　their　pliant　horns　waving　up　and　down；　like　delicate　instruments　used　to　test　the　air。　Centipedes　and　millipedes　in　dozens　came　too；　and　were　not　welcome。　　I　feared　not　their　venom；　but　it　was　a　weariness　to　see　them；　for　they　seemed　no　living　things；　but　the　vertebrae　of　snakes　and　eels　and　long　slim　fishes；　dead　and　desiccated；　made　to　move　mechanically　over　walls　and　floor　by　means　of　some　jugglery　of　nature。　　I　grew　skilful　at　picking　them　up　with　a　pair　of　pliant　green　twigs；　to　thrust　them　into　the　outer　darkness。

One　night　a　moth　fluttered　in　and　alighted　on　my　hand　as　I　sat　by　the　fire；　causing　me　to　hold　my　breath　as　I　gazed　on　it。　　Its　fore…wings　were　pale　grey；　with　shadings　dark　and　light　written　all　over　in　finest　characters　with　some　twilight　mystery　or　legend；　but　the　round　under…wings　were　clear　amber…yellow；　veined　like　a　leaf　with　red　and　purple　veins；　a　thing　of　such　exquisite　chaste　beauty　that　the　sight　of　it　gave　me　a　sudden　shock　of　pleasure。　　Very　soon　it　flew　up；　circling　about；　and　finally　lighted　on　the　palm…leaf　thatch　directly　over　the　fire。　　The　heat；　I　thought；　would　soon　drive　it　from　the　spot；　and；　rising；　I　opened　the　door；　so　that　it　might　find　its　way　out　again　into　its　own　cool；　dark；　flowery　world。　　And　standing　by　the　open　door　I　turned　and　addressed　it：　〃O　night…wanderer　of　the　pale；　beautiful　wings；　go　forth；　and　should　you　by　chance　meet　her　somewhere　in　the　shadowy　depths；　revisiting　her　old　haunts；　be　my　messenger〃　Thus　much　had　I　spoken　when　the　frail　thing　loosened　its　hold　to　fall　without　a　flutter；　straight　and　swift；　into　the　white　blaze　beneath。　　I　sprang　forward　with　a　shriek　and　stood　staring　into　the　fire；　my　whole　frame　trembling　with　a　sudden　terrible　emotion。　　Even　thus　had　Rima　fallenfallen　from　the　great　height…　…into　the　flames　that　instantly　consumed　her　beautiful　flesh　and　bright　spirit！　　O　cruel　Nature！

A　moth　that　perished　in　the　flame；　an　indistinct　faint　sound；　a　dream　in　the　night；　the　semblance　of　a　shadowy　form　moving　mist…like　in　the　twilight　gloom　of　the　forest；　would　suddenly　bring　back　a　vivid　memory；　the　old　anguish；　to　break　for　a　while　the　calm　of　that　period。　　It　was　calm　then　after　the　storm。　Nevertheless；　my　health　deteriorated。　　I　ate　little　and　slept　little　and　grew　thin　and　weak。　　When　I　looked　down　on　the　dark；　glassy　forest　pool；　where　Rima　would　look　no　more　to　see　herself　so　much　better　than　in　the　small　mirror　of　her　lover's　pupil；　it　showed　me　a　gaunt；　ragged　man　with　a　tangled　mass　of　black　hair　falling　over　his　shoulders；　the　bones　of　his　face　showing　through　the　dead…looking；　sun…parched　skin；　the　sunken　eyes　with　a　gleam　in　them　that　was　like　insanity。

To　see　this　reflection　had　a　strangely　disturbing　effect　on　me。　　A　torturing　voice　would　whisper　in　my　ear：　〃Yes；　you　are　evidently　going　mad。　　By　and　by　you　will　rush　howling　through　the　forest；　only　to　drop　down　at　last　and　die；　and　no　person　will　ever　find　and　bury　your　bones。　　Old　Nuflo　was　more　fortunate　in　that　he　perished　first。〃

〃A　lying　voice！〃　　I　retorted　in　sudden　anger。　　〃My　faculties　were　never　keener　than　now。　　Not　a　fruit　can　ripen　but　I　find　it。　　If　a　small　bird　darts　by　with　a　feather　or　straw　in　its　bill　I　mark　its　flight；　and　it　will　be　a　lucky　bird　if　I　do　not　find　its　nest　in　the　end。　　Could　a　savage　born　in　the　forest　do　more？　　He　would　starve　where　I　find　food！〃

〃Ay；　yes；　there　is　nothing　wonderful　in　that；〃　answered　the　voice。　　〃The　stranger　from　a　cold　country　suffers　less　from　the　heat；　when　days　are　hottest；　than　the　Indian　who　knows　no　other　climate。　　But　mark　the　result！　　The　stranger　dies；　while　the　Indian；　sweating　and　gasping　for　breath；　survives。　　In　like　manner　the　low…minded　savage；　cut　off　from　all　human　fellowship；　keeps　his　faculties　to　the　end；　while　your　finer　brain　proves　your　ruin。〃

I　cut　from　a　tree　a　score　of　long；　blunt　thorns；　tough　and　black　as　whalebone；　and　drove　them　through　a　strip　of　wood　in　which　I　had　burnt　a　row　of　holes　to　receive　them；　and　made　myself　a　comb；　and　combed　out　my　long；　tangled　hair　to　improve　my　appearance。

〃It　is　not　the　tangled　condition　of　your　hair；〃　persisted　the　voice；　〃but　your　eyes；　so　wild　and　strange　in　their　expression；　that　show　the　approach　of　madness。　　Make　your　locks　as　smooth　as　you　like；　and　add　a　garland　of　those　scarlet；　star…shaped　blossoms　hanging　from　the　bush　behind　youcrown　yourself　as　you　crowned　old　Cla…clabut　the　crazed　look　will　remain　just　the　same。〃

And　being　no　longer　able　to　reply；　rage　and　desperation　drove　me　to　an　act　which　only　seemed　to　prove　that　the　hateful　voice　had　prophesied　truly。　　Taking　up　a　stone；　I　hurled　it　down　on　the　water　to　shatter　the　image　I　saw　there；　as　if　it　had　been　no　faithful　reflection　of　myself；　but　a　travesty；　cunningly　made　of　enamelled　clay　or　some　other　material；　and　put　there　by　some　malicious　enemy　to　mock　me。



CHAPTER　XXI

Many　days　had　passed　since　the　hut　was　madehow　many　may　not　be　known；　since　I　notched　no　stick　and　knotted　no　cordyet　never　in　my　rambles　in　the　wood　had　I　seen　that　desolate　ash…heap　where　the　fire　had　done　its　work。　　Nor　had　I　looked　for　it。　　On　the　contrary；　my　wish　was　never　to　see　it；　and　the　fear　of　coming　accidentally　upon　it　made　me　keep　to　the　old　familiar　paths。　　But　at　length；　one　night；　without　thinking　of　Rima's　fearful　end；　it　all　at　once　occurred　to　me　that　the　hated　savage　whose　blood　I　had　shed　on　the　white　savannah　might　have　only　been　practicing　his　natural　deceit　when　he　told　me　that　most　pitiful　story。　　If　that　were　soif　he　had　been　prepared　with　a　fictitious　account　of　her　death　to　meet　my　questionsthen　Rima　might　still　exist：　lost；　perhaps；　wandering　in　some　distant　place；　exposed　to　perils　day　and　night；　and　unable　to　find　her　way　back；　but　living　still！　Living！　　her　heart　on　fire　with　the　hope　of　reunion　with　me；　cautiously　threading　her　way　through　the　undergrowth　of　immeasurable