the man who was afraid- 第15部分

〃What？〃

〃This　very　wantonness　of　ours。　Our　steamer　is　perfect；　cleanand　suddenly　there　is　a　woman　there！　And　if　it　were　at　least　the　right　sort　of　a　woman！　But　as　it　is；　she　merely　bears　the　name　of　woman。〃

Foma　frowned　insinuatingly　and　addressed　the　captain；　imperiously　emphasizing　his　words：

〃Yefim；　I　want　you　to　bear　it　in　mind；　and　to　tell　it　to　everybody　here；　that　if　anyone　will　utter　an　obscene　word　about　her；　I'll　strike　him　on　the　head　with　a　log　of　wood！〃

〃How　terrible！〃　said　Yefim；　incredulously；　looking　into　the　master's　face　with　curiosity。　But　he　immediately　made　a　step　backward。　Ignat's　son；　like　a　wolf；　showed　his　teeth；　the　apples　of　his　eyes　became　wider；　and　he　roared：

〃Laugh！　I'll　show　you　how　to　laugh！〃

Though　Yefim　lost　courage；　he　nevertheless　said　with　dignity：

〃Although　you；　Foma　Ignatyich；　are　the　master；　yet　as　I　was　told；　'Watch；　Yefim；'　and　then　I　am　the　captain　here。〃

〃The　captain？〃　cried　Foma；　shuddering　in　every　limb　and　turning　pale。　〃And　who　am　I？〃

〃Well；　don't　bawl！　On　account　of　such　a　trifle　as　a　woman。〃

Red　spots　came　out　on　Foma's　pale　face；　he　shifted　from　one　foot　to　the　other；　thrust　his　hands　into　the　pockets　of　his　jacket　with　a　convulsive　motion　and　said　in　a　firm　and　even　voice：

〃You！　Captain！　See　here；　say　another　word　against　meand　you　go　to　the　devil！　I'll　put　you　ashore！　I'll　get　along　as　well　with　the　pilot！　Understand？　You　cannot　command　me。　Do　you　see？〃

Yefim　was　dumfounded。　He　looked　at　his　master　and　comically　winked　his　eyes；　finding　no　reply　to　his　words。

〃Do　you　understand；　I　say？〃

〃Yes。　I　understand！　〃　drawled　Yefim。　〃But　what　is　all　this　noise　about？　On　account　of〃

〃Silence！〃

Foma's　eyes；　which　flashed　wildly；　and　his　face　distorted　with　wrath；　suggested　to　the　captain　the　happy　thought　to　leave　his　master　as　soon　as　possible　and；　turning　around　quickly；　he　walked　off。

〃Pshaw！　How　terrible！　As　it　seems　the　apple　did　not　fall　too　far　from　the　tree；〃　he　muttered　sneeringly；　walking　on　the　deck。　He　was　angry　at　Foma；　and　considered　himself　offended　for　nothing；　but　at　the　same　time　he　began　to　feel　over　himself　the　real；　firm　hand　of　a　master。　For　years　accustomed　to　being　subordinate；　he　rather　liked　this　manifestation　of　power　over　him；　and；　entering　the　cabin　of　the　old　pilot；　he　related　to　him　the　scene　between　himself　and　his　master；　with　a　shade　of　satisfaction　in　his　voice。

〃See？〃　he　concluded　his　story。　〃A　pup　coming　from　a　good　breed　is　an　excellent　dog　at　the　very　first　chase。　From　his　exterior　he　is　so…so。　A　man　of　rather　heavy　mind　as　yet。　Well；　never　mind；　let　him　have　his　fun。　It　seems　now　as　though　nothing　wrong　will　come　out　of　this。　With　a　character　like　his；　no。　How　he　bawled　at　me！　A　regular　trumpet；　I　tell　you！　And　he　appointed　himself　master　at　once。　As　though　he　had　sipped　power　and　strictness　out　of　a　ladle。〃

Yefim　spoke　the　truth：　during　these　few　days　Foma　underwent　a　striking　transformation。　The　passion　now　kindled　in　him　made　him　master　of　the　soul　and　body　of　a　woman；　he　eagerly　absorbed　the　fiery　sweetness　of　this　power；　and　this　burned　out　all　that　was　awkward　in　him；　all　that　gave　him　the　appearance　of　a　somewhat　stupid；　gloomy　fellow；　and；　destroying　it；　filled　his　heart　with　youthful　pride；　with　the　consciousness　of　his　human　personality。　Love　for　a　woman　is　always　fruitful　to　the　man；　be　the　love　whatever　it　may；　even　though　it　were　to　cause　but　sufferings　there　is　always　much　that　is　rich　in　it。　Working　as　a　powerful　poison　on　those　whose　souls　are　afflicted；　it　is　for　the　healthy　man　as　fire　for　iron；　which　is　to　be　transformed　into　steel。

Foma's　passion　for　the　thirty…year…old　woman；　who　lamented　in　his　embraces　her　dead　youth；　did　not　tear　him　away　from　his　affairs；　he　was　never　lost　in　the　caresses；　or　in　his　affairs；　bringing　into　both　his　whole　self。　The　woman；　like　good　wine；　provoked　in　him　alike　a　thirst　for　labour　and　for　love；　and　she；　too；　became　younger　from　the　kisses　of　the　youth。

In　Perm；　Foma　found　a　letter　waiting　for　him。　It　was　from　his　godfather；　who　notified　him　that　Ignat；　out　of　anxiety　for　his　son；　had　begun　to　drink　heavily；　and　that　it　was　harmful　to　drink　thus；　for　a　man　of　his　age。　The　letter　concluded　with　advice　to　hurry　up　matters　in　order　to　return　home　the　sooner。　Foma　felt　alarmed　over　this　advice；　and　it　clouded　the　clear　holiday　of　his　heart。　But　this　shadow　soon　melted　in　his　worries　over　his　affairs；　and　in　the　caresses　of　Pelageya。　His　life　streamed　on　with　the　swiftness　of　a　river　wave；　and　each　day　brought　to　him　new　sensations；　awakening　in　him　new　thoughts。　Pelageya's　relations　with　him　contained　all　the　passion　of　a　mistress；　all　that　power　of　feeling　which　women　of　her　age　put　into　their　passion　when　drinking　the　last　drops　from　the　cup　of　life。　But　at　times　a　different　feeling　awoke　in　her；　a　feeling　not　less　powerful；　and　by　which　Foma　became　still　more　attached　to　hersomething　similar　to　a　mother's　yearning　to　guard　her　beloved　son　from　errors；　to　teach　him　the　wisdom　of　life。　Oftentimes　at　night；　sitting　in　his　embraces　on　the　deck；　she　spoke　to　him　tenderly　and　sadly：

〃Mind　me　as　an　older　sister　of　yours。　I　have　lived；　I　know　men。　I　have　seen　a　great　deal　in　my　life！　Choose　your　companions　with　care；　for　there　are　people　just　as　contagious　as　a　disease。　At　first　you　cannot　tell　them　even　when　you　see　them；　he　looks　to　be　a　man　like　everybody　else；　and；　suddenly；　without　being　aware　of　it　yourself；　you　will　start　to　imitate　him　in　life。　You　look　around　and　you　find　that　you　have　contracted　his　scabs。　I　myself　have　lost　everything　on　account　of　a　friend。　I　had　a　husband　and　two　children。　We　lived　well。　My　husband　was　a　clerk　at　a　volost。〃　She　became　silent　and　looked　for　a　long　time　at　the　water；　which　was　stirred　by　the　vessel。　Then　she　heaved　a　sigh　and　spoke　to　him　again：

〃May　the　Holy　Virgin　guard　you　from　women　of　my　kindbe　careful。　You　are　tender　as　yet；　your　heart　has　not　become　properly　hardened。　And　women　are　fond　of　such　as　youstrong；　handsome；　rich。　And　most　of　all　beware　of　the　quiet　women。　They　stick　to　a　man　like　blood…　suckers；　and　suck　and　suck。　And　at　the　same　time　they　are　always　so　kind；　so　gentle。　They　will　keep　on　sucking　your　juice；　but　will　preserve　themselves。　They'll　only　break　your　heart　in　vain。　You　had　better　have　dealings　with　those　that　are　bold；　like　myself。　These　live　not　for　the　sake　of　gain。〃

And　she　was　indeed　disinterested。　In　Perm　Foma　purchased　for　her　different　new　things　and　what…not。　She　was　delighted；　but　later；　having　examined　them；　she　said　sadly：

〃Don't　squander　your　money　too　freely。　See　that　your　father　does　not　get　angry。　I　love　you　anyway；　without　all　this。〃

She　had　already　told　him　that　she　would　go　with　him　only　as　far　as　Kazan；　where　she　had　a　married　sister。　Foma　could　not　believe　that　she　would　leave　him；　and　when；　on　the　eve　of　their　arrival　at　Kazan；　she　repeated　her　words；　he　became　gloomy　and　began　to　implore　her　not　to　forsake　him。

〃Do　not　feel　sorry　in　advance；〃　she　said。　〃We　have　a　whole　night　before　us。　You　will　have　time　to　feel　sorry　when　I　bid　you　good…　bye；　if　you　will　feel　sorry　at　all。〃

But　he　still　tried　to　persuade　her　not　to　forsake　him；　and；　finally　which　was　to　be　expectedannounced　his　desire　to　marry　her。

〃So；　so！〃　and　she　began　to　laugh。　〃Shall　I　marry　you　while　my　husband　is　still　alive？　My　darling；　my　queer　fellow！　You　have　a　desire　to　marry；　eh？　But　do　they　marry　such　women　as　I　am？　You　will　have　many；　many　mistresses。　Marry　then；　when　you　have　overflowed；　when　you　have　had　your　fill　of　all　sweets　and　feel　like　having　rye　bread。　Then　you　may　marry！　I　have　noticed　that　a　healthy　man；　for　his　own　peace；　must　not　marry　early。　One　woman　will　not　be　enough　to　satisfy　him；　and　he'll　go　to　other　women。　And　for　your　own　happiness；　you　should　take　a　wife　only　when　you　know　that　she　alone　will　suffice　for　you。〃

But　the　more　she　spoke；　the　more　persistent　Foma　became　in　his　desire　not　to　part　with　her。

〃Just　listen　to　what　I'll　tell　you；〃　said　the　woman；　calmly。　〃A　splinter　of　wood　is　burning　in　your　hand；　and　you　can　see　well　even　without　its　lightyou　had　better　dip　it　into　water；　so　that　there　will　be　no　smell　of　smoke　and　your　hand　will　not　be　burned。〃

〃I　do　not　understand　your　words。〃

〃Do　understand。　You　have　done　me　no　wrong；　and　I　do　not　wish　to　do　you　any。　And；　therefore；　I　am　going　away。〃

It　is　hard　to　say　what　might　have　been　the　result　of　this　dispute　if　an　accident　had　not　interfered　with　it。　In　Kazan　Foma　received　a　telegram　from　Mayakin；　who　wrote　to　his　godson　briefly：　〃Come　immediately　on　the　passenger　steamer。〃　Foma's　heart　contracted　nervously；　and　a　few　hours　later；　gloomy　and　pale；　his　teeth　set　together；　he　stood　on　the　deck　of　the　steamer；　which　was　leaving　the　harbour；　and　clinging　to　the　rail　with　his　hands；　he　stared　motionlessly　into　the　face　of　his　love；　who　was　floating　far　away　from　him　together　with　the　harbour　and　the　shore。　Pelageya　waved　her　handkerchief　and　smiled；　but　he　knew　that　she　was　crying；　shedding　many　painful　tears。　From　her　tears　the　entire　front　of　Foma's　shirt　was　wet；　and　from　her　tears；　his　heart；　full　of　gloomy　alarm；　was　sad　and　cold。　The　figure　of　the　woman　was　growing　smaller　and　smaller；　as　though　melting　away；　and　Foma；　without　lifting　his　eyes；　stared　at　her　and　felt　that　aside　from　fear　for　his　father　and　sorrow　for　the　woman；　some　new；　powerful　and　caustic　sensation　was　awakening　in　his　soul。　He　could　not　name　it；　but　it　seemed　to　him　as　something　like　a　grudge　against　someone。

The　crowd　in　the　harbour　blended　into　a　close；　dark　and　dead　spot；　faceless；　formless；　motionless。　Foma　went　away　from　the　rail　and　began　to　pace　the　deck　gloomily。

The　passengers；　conversing　aloud；　seated　themselves　to　drink　tea；　the　porters　bustled　about　on　the　gallery；　setting　the　tables；　somewhere　below；　on　the　stern；　in　the　third　class；　a　child　was　crying；　a　harmonica　was　wailing；　the　cook　was　chopping　something　with　knives；　the　dishes　were　jarring　producing　a　rather　harsh　noise。　Cutting　the　waves　and　making　foam；　shuddering　under　the　strain　and　sighing　heavily；　the　enormous　steamer　moved　rapidly　against　the　current。　Foma　looked　at　the　wide　strip　of　broken；　struggling；　and　enraged　waves　at　the　s