the man who was afraid- 第29部分

〃I？　Of　course；　I　am！〃　said　Shchurov；　confidently；　nodding　his　head；　and　his　eyes　became　somewhat　darker。　〃I　will　also　appear　before　the　Lord；　and　that　not　sinless。　I　shall　bring　with　me　a　heavy　burden　before　His　holy　countenance。　I　have　been　pleasing　the　devil　myself；　only　I　trust　to　God　for　His　mercy；　while　Yashka　believes　in　nothing；　neither　in　dreams；　nor　in　the　singing　of　birds。　Yashka　does　not　believe　in　God；　this　I　know！　And　for　his　non…belief　he　will　yet　receive　his　punishment　on　earth。〃

〃Are　you　sure　of　this；　too？〃

〃Yes；　I　am。　And　don't　you　think　I　also　know　that　you　consider　it　ludicrous　to　listen　to　me。　What　a　sagacious　fellow；　indeed！　But　he　who　has　committed　many　sins　is　always　wise。　Sin　is　a　teacher。　That's　why　Yashka　Mayakin　is　extraordinarily　clever。〃

Listening　to　the　old　man's　hoarse　and　confident　voice；　Foma　thought：

〃He　is　scenting　death；　it　seems。〃

The　waiter；　a　small　man；　with　a　face　which　was　pale　and　characterless；　brought　in　the　samovar　and　quickly　hastened　out　of　the　room；　with　short　steps。　The　old　man　was　undoing　some　bundles　on　the　window…sill　and　said；　without　looking　at　Foma：

〃You　are　bold；　and　the　look　of　your　eyes　is　dark。　Before；　there　used　to　be　more　light…eyed　people；　because　then　the　souls　used　to　be　brighter。　Before；　everything　was　simplerboth　the　people　and　the　sins；　and　now　everything　has　become　complicated。　Eh；　eh！〃

He　made　tea；　seated　himself　opposite　Foma　and　went　on　again：

〃Your　father　at　your　age　was　a　water…pumper　and　stayed　with　the　fleet　near　our　village。　At　your　age　Ignat　was　as　clear　to　me　as　glass。　At　a　single　glance　you　could　tell　what　sort　of　a　man　he　was。　While　youhere　I　am　looking　at　you；　but　cannot　see　what　you　are。　Who　are　you？　You　don't　know　it　yourself；　my　lad；　and　that's　why　you'll　suffer。　Everybody　nowadays　must　suffer；　because　they　do　not　know　themselves。　Life　is　a　mass　of　wind…fallen　trees；　and　you　must　know　how　to　find　your　way　through　it。　Where　is　it？　All　are　going　astray；　and　the　devil　is　delighted。　Are　you　married？〃

〃Not　yet；〃　said　Foma。

〃There　again；　you　are　not　married；　and　yet；　I'm　quite　sure；　you　are　not　pure　any　longer。　Well；　are　you　working　hard　in　your　business？〃

〃Sometimes。　Meanwhile　I　am　with　my　godfather。〃

〃What　sort　of　work　is　it　you　have　nowadays？〃　said　the　old　man；　shaking　his　head；　and　his　eyes　were　constantly　twinkling；　now　turning　dark；　now　brightening　up　again。　〃You　have　no　labour　now！　In　former　years　the　merchant　travelled　with　horses　on　business。　Even　at　night；　in　snowstorms；　he　used　to　go！　Murderers　used　to　wait　for　him　on　the　road　and　kill　him。　And　he　died　a　martyr；　washing　his　sins　away　with　blood。　Now　they　travel　by　rail；　they　are　sending　telegrams；　or　they've　even　invented　something　that　a　man　may　speak　in　his　office　and　you　can　hear　him　five　miles　away。　There　the　devil　surely　has　a　hand　in　it！　A　man　sits；　without　motion；　and　commits　sins　merely　because　he　feels　lonesome；　because　he　has　nothing　to　do：　the　machine　does　all　his　work。　He　has　no　work；　and　without　toil　man　is　ruined！　He　has　provided　himself　with　machines　and　thinks　it　is　good！　While　the　machine　is　the　devil's　trap　for　you。　He　thus　catches　you　in　it。　While　toiling；　you　find　no　time　for　sin；　but　having　a　machineyou　have　freedom。　Freedom　kills　a　man；　even　as　the　sunbeams　kill　the　worm；　the　dweller　of　the　depth　of　earth。　Freedom　kills　man！〃

And　pronouncing　his　words　distinctly　and　positively；　the　old　Anany　struck　the　table　four　times　with　his　finger。　His　face　beamed　triumphantly；　his　chest　rose　high；　and　over　it　the　silver　hair　of　his　beard　shook　noiselessly。　Dread　fell　on　Foma　as　he　looked　at　him　and　listened　to　his　words；　for　there　was　a　ring　of　firm　faith　in　them；　and　it　was　the　power　of　this　faith　that　confused　Foma。　He　had　already　forgotten　all　he　knew　about　the　old　man；　all　of　which　he　had　but　a　while　ago　believed　to　be　true。

〃Whoever　gives　freedom　to　his　body；　kills　his　soul！〃　said　Anany；　looking　at　Foma　so　strangely　as　if　he　saw　behind　him　somebody；　who　was　grieved　and　frightened　by　his　words；　and　whose　fear　and　pain　delighted　him。　〃All　you　people　of　today　will　perish　through　freedom。　The　devil　has　captured　youhe　has　taken　toil　away　from　you；　and　slipped　machines　and　telegrams　into　your　hands。　How　freedom　eats　into　the　souls　of　men！　Just　tell　me；　why　are　the　children　worse　than　their　fathers？　Because　of　their　freedom；　yes。　That's　why　they　drink　and　lead　depraved　lives　with　women。　They　have　less　strength　because　they　have　less　work；　and　they　have　not　the　spirit　of　cheerfulness　because　they　have　no　worries。　Cheerfulness　comes　in　time　of　rest；　while　nowadays　no　one　is　getting　tired。〃

〃Well；〃　said　Foma；　softly；　〃they　were　leading　depraved　lives　and　drinking　just　as　much　in　former　days　as　now；　I　suppose。〃

〃Do　you　know　it？　You　should　keep　silence！〃　cried　Anany；　flashing　his　eyes　sternly。　〃In　former　days　man　had　more　strength；　and　the　sins　were　according　to　his　strength。　While　you；　of　today；　have　less　strength；　and　more　sins；　and　your　sins　are　more　disgusting。　Then　men　were　like　oak…trees。　And　God's　judgment　will　also　be　in　accordance　with　their　strength。　Their　bodies　will　be　weighed；　and　angels　will　measure　their　blood；　and　the　angels　of　God　will　see　that　the　weight　of　the　sins　does　not　exceed　the　weight　of　the　body　and　the　blood。　Do　you　understand？　God　will　not　condemn　the　wolf　for　devouring　a　sheep；　but　if　a　miserable　rat　should　be　guilty　of　the　sheep's　death；　God　will　condemn　the　rat！〃

〃How　can　a　man　tell　how　God　will　judge　man？〃　asked　Foma；　thoughtfully。　〃A　visible　trial　is　necessary。〃

〃Why　a　visible　trial？〃

〃That　people　might　understand。〃

〃Who；　but　the　Lord；　is　my　judge？〃

Foma　glanced　at　the　old　man　and　lowering　his　head；　became　silent。　He　again　recalled　the　fugitive　convict；　who　was　killed　and　burnt　by　Shchurov；　and　again　he　believed　that　it　really　was　so。　And　the　womenhis　wives　and　his　mistresseshad　surely　been　hastened　toward　their　graves　by　this　old　man's　caresses；　he　had　crushed　them　with　his　bony　chest；　drunk　the　sap　of　their　life　with　these　thick　lips　of　his　which　were　scarlet　yet　from　the　clotted　blood　of　the　women；　who　died　in　the　embraces　of　his　long　sinewy　arms。　And　now；　awaiting　death；　which　was　already　somewhere　beside　him；　he　counts　his　sins；　judges　others；　and　perhaps　judges　himself；　and　says：

〃Who；　but　the　Lord；　is　my　judge？〃

〃Is　he　afraid　or　not？〃　Foma　asked　himself　and　became　pensive；　stealthily　scrutinising　the　old　man。

〃Yes；　my　lad！　Think；〃　spoke　Shchurov；　shaking　his　head；　〃think；　how　you　are　to　live。　The　capital　in　your　heart　is　small；　and　your　habits　are　great；　see　that　you　are　not　reduced　to　bankruptcy　before　your　own　self！　Ho…ho…ho！〃

〃How　can　you　tell　what　and　how　much　I　have　within　my　heart？〃　said　Foma；　gloomily；　offended　by　his　laughter。

〃I　can　see　it！　I　know　everything；　because　I　have　lived　long！　Oh…ho…　ho！　How　long　I　have　lived！　Trees　have　grown　up　and　been　cut　down；　and　houses　built　out　of　them；　and　even　the　houses　have　grown　old。　While　I　have　seen　all　this　and　am　still　alive；　and　when；　at　times；　I　recall　my　life；　I　think；　'Is　it　possible　that　one　man　could　accomplish　so　much？　Is　it　possible　that　I　have　witnessed　all　this？'〃　The　old　man　glanced　at　Foma　sternly；　shook　his　head　and　became　silent。

It　became　quiet。　Outside　the　window　something　was　softly　rustling　on　the　roof　of　the　house；　the　rattle　of　wheels　and　the　muffled　sounds　of　conversation　were　heard　from　below；　from　the　street。　The　samovar　on　the　table　sang　a　sad　tune。　Shchurov　was　fixedly　staring　into　his　glass　of　tea；　stroking　his　beard；　and　one　could　hear　that　something　rattled　in　his　breast；　as　if　some　burden　was　turning　about　in　it。

〃It's　hard　for　you　to　live　without　your　father；　isn't　it？〃　said　he。

〃I　am　getting　used　to　it；〃　replied　Foma。

〃You　are　rich；　and　when　Yakov　dies；　you　will　be　richer　still。　He'll　leave　everything　to　you。〃

〃I　don't　need　it。〃

〃To　whom　else　should　he　leave　it？　He　has　but　one　daughter；　and　you　ought　to　marry　that　daughter；　and　that　she　is　your　godsister　and　foster…sisterno　matter！　That　can　be　arrangedand　then　you　would　be　married。　What　good　is　there　in　the　life　you　are　now　leading？　I　suppose　you　are　forever　running　about　with　the　girls？〃

〃No。〃

〃You　don't　say！　Eh；　eh；　eh！　the　merchant　is　passing　away。　A　certain　forester　told　meI　don't　know　whether　he　lied　or　notthat　in　former　days　the　dogs　were　wolves；　and　then　degenerated　into　dogs。　It　is　the　same　with　our　calling；　we　will　soon　also　be　dogs。　We　will　take　up　science；　put　stylish　hats　on　our　heads；　we'll　do　everything　that　is　necessary　in　order　to　lose　our　features；　and　there　will　be　nothing　by　which　to　distinguish　us　from　other　people。　It　has　become　a　custom　to　make　Gymnasium　students　of　all　children。　The　merchants；　the　nobles；　the　commonersall　are　adjusted　to　match　the　same　colour。　They　dress　them　in　gray　and　teach　them　all　the　same　subjects。　They　grow　man　even　as　they　grow　a　tree。　Why　do　they　do　it？　No　one　knows。　Even　a　log　could　be　told　from　another　by　its　knot　at　least；　while　here　they　want　to　plane　the　people　over　so　that　all　of　them　should　look　alike。　The　coffin　is　already　waiting　for　us　old　people。　Ye…es！　It　may　be　that　about　fifty　years　hence；　no　one　will　believe　that　I　lived　in　this　world。　I；　Anany；　the　son　of　Savva；　by　the　surname　of　Shchurov。　So！　And　that　I；　Anany；　feared　no　one；　save　God。　And　that　in　my　youth　I　was　a　peasant；　that　all　the　land　I　possessed　then　was　two　desyatins　and　a　quarter；　while　toward　my　old　age　I　have　hoarded　up　eleven　thousand　desyatins；　all　forests；　and　perhaps　two　millions　in　cash。〃

〃There；　they　always　speak　of　money！〃　said　Foma；　with　dissatisfaction。　〃What　joy　does　man　derive　from　money？〃〃Mm；〃　bellowed　Shchurov。　〃You　will　make　a　poor　merchant；　if　you　do　not　understand　the　power　of　money。〃

〃Who　does　understand　it？〃　asked　Foma。

〃I！〃　said　Shchurov；　with　confidence。　〃And　every　clever　man。　Yashka　understands　it。　Money？　That　is　a　great　deal；　my　lad！　Just　spread　it　out　before　you　and　think；　'What　does　it　contain？'　Then　will　you　know　that　all　this　is　human　strength；　human　mind。　Thousands　of　people　have　put　their　life　into　your　money　and　thousands　more　will　do　it。　And　you　can　throw　it　all　into　the　fire　and　see　how　the　money　is　burning；　and　at　that　moment　you　will　consider　yourself　master。〃