differenceunless he disliked the differer。
For several years he went back to England every summer； and it was not
until he took up his abode at Elmwood again that he spent a whole year at
home。 One winter he passed at his sister's home in Boston； but mostly he
lived with his daughter at Southborough。 I have heard a story of his
going to Elmwood soon after his return in 1885； and sitting down in his
old study； where he declared with tears that the place was full of
ghosts。 But four or five years later it was well for family reasons that
he should live there； and about the same time it happened that I had
taken a house for the summer in his neighborhood。 He came to see me；
and to assure me； in all tacit forms of his sympathy in a sorrow for
which there could be no help； but it was not possible that the old
intimate relations should be resumed。 The affection was there； as much
on his side as on mine； I believe； but he was now an old man and I was an
elderly man； and we could not； without insincerity； approach each other
in the things that had drawn us together in earlier and happier years。
His course was run； my own； in which he had taken such a generous
pleasure； could scarcely move his jaded interest。 His life； so far as it
remained to him； had renewed itself in other air； the later friendships
beyond seas sufficed him； and were without the pang； without the effort
that must attend the knitting up of frayed ties here。
He could never have been anything but American； if he had tried； and he
certainly never tried； but he certainly did not return to the outward
simplicities of his life as I first knew it。 There was no more round…
hat…and…sack…coat business for him； he wore a frock and a high hat； and
whatever else was rather like London than Cambridge； I do not know but
drab gaiters sometimes added to the effect of a gentleman of the old
school which he now produced upon the witness。 Some fastidiousnesses
showed themselves in him； which were not so surprising。 He complained of
the American lower class manner； the conductor and cabman would be kind
to you but they would not be respectful； and he could not see the fun of
this in the old way。 Early in our acquaintance he rather stupified me by
saying； 〃I like you because you don't put your hands on me；〃 and I heard
of his consenting to some sort of reception in those last years； 〃Yes；
if they won't shake hands。〃
Ever since his visit to Rome in 1875 he had let his heavy mustache grow
long till it dropped below the corners of his beard； which was now almost
white； his face had lost the ruddy hue so characteristic of him。 I fancy
he was then ailing with premonitions of the disorder which a few years
later proved mortal； but he still bore himself with sufficient vigor；
and he walked the distance between his house and mine； though once when I
missed his visit the family reported that after he came in he sat a long
time with scarcely a word； as if too weary to talk。 That winter； I went
into Boston to live； and I saw him only at infrequent intervals； when I
could go out to Elmwood。 At such times I found him sitting in the room
which was formerly the drawing…room； but which had been joined with his
study by taking away the partitions beside the heavy mass of the old
colonial chimney。 He told me that when he was a newborn babe； the nurse
had carried him round this chimney； for luck； and now in front of the
same hearth； the white old man stretched himself in an easy…chair； with
his writing…pad on his knees and his books on the table at his elbow； and
was willing to be entreated not to rise。 I remember the sun used to come
in at the eastern windows full pour； and bathe the air in its warmth。
He always hailed me gayly； and if I found him with letters newly come
from England； as I sometimes did； he glowed and sparkled with fresh life。
He wanted to read passages from those letters； he wanted to talk about
their writers； and to make me feel their worth and charm as he did。
He still dreamed of going back to England the next summer； but that was
not to be。 One day he received me not less gayly than usual； but with a
certain excitement； and began to tell me about an odd experience he had
had； not at all painful； but which had very much mystified him。 He had
since seen the doctor； and the doctor had assured him that there was
nothing alarming in what had happened； and in recalling this assurance；
he began to look at the humorous aspects of the case； and to make some
jokes about it。 He wished to talk of it； as men do of their maladies；
and very fully； and I gave him such proof of my interest as even inviting
him to talk of it would convey。 In spite of the doctor's assurance；
and his joyful acceptance of it； I doubt if at the bottom of his heart
there was not the stir of an uneasy misgiving； but he had not for a long
time shown himself so cheerful。
It was the beginning of the end。 He recovered and relapsed； and
recovered again； but never for long。 Late in the spring I came out；
and he had me stay to dinner； which was somehow as it used to be at two
o'clock； and after dinner we went out on his lawn。 He got a long…handled
spud； and tried to grub up some dandelions which he found in his turf；
but after a moment or two he threw it down； and put his hand upon his
back with a groan。 I did not see him again till I came out to take leave
of him before going away for the summer； and then I found him sitting on
the little porch in a western corner of his house； with a volume of Scott
closed upon his finger。 There were some other people； and our meeting
was with the constraint of their presence。 It was natural in nothing so
much as his saying very significantly to me； as if he knew of my heresies
concerning Scott； and would have me know he did not approve of them； that
there was nothing he now found so much pleasure in as Scott's novels。
Another friend； equally heretical； was by； but neither of us attempted to
gainsay him。 Lowell talked very little； but he told of having been a
walk to Beaver Brook； and of having wished to jump from one stone to
another in the stream； and of having had to give it up。 He said； without
completing the sentence； If it had come to that with him！ Then he fell
silent again； and with some vain talk of seeing him when I came back in
the fall； I went away sick at heart。 I was not to see him again； and I
shall not look upon his like。
I am aware that I have here shown him from this point and from that in a
series of sketches which perhaps collectively impart； but do not assemble
his personality in one impression。 He did not； indeed； make one
impression upon me； but a thousand impressions； which I should seek in
vain to embody in a single presentment。 What I have cloudily before me
is the vision of a very lofty and simple soul； perplexed； and as it were
surprised and even dismayed at the complexity of the effects from motives
so single in it； but escaping always to a clear expression of what was
noblest and loveliest in itself at the supreme moments； in the divine
exigencies。 I believe neither in heroes nor in saints； but I believe in
great and good men； for I have known them； and among such men Lowell was
of the richest nature I have known。 His nature was not always serene or
pellucid； it was sometimes roiled by the currents that counter and cross
in all of us； but it was without the least alloy of insincerity； and it
was never darkened by the shadow of a selfish fear。 His genius was an
instrument that responded in affluent harmony to the power that made him
a humorist and that made him a poet； and appointed him rarely to be quite
either alone。
End