first came I was like you； young and hopeful； and I had wonderful
visions of what I intended to do and to be。 Here it was I made a vow
that I would become a great painter； and win for myself a resting
place in this very abbey。 There is humour in the situation； is there
not？〃
〃I don't like to hear you say that；〃 she answered。 〃It is not always
possible for us to fulfil all our ambitions。 Still； it is better to
have had them； and failed of them； than not to have had them at all。〃
〃Possibly；〃 he replied； coldly。 Then he added； 〃I wish you would tell
me about yourself。 You have always interested me。〃
〃I have nothing to tell you about myself；〃 she answered； frankly。 〃I
am alone in the world； without friends and without relations。 The very
name I use is not a real name。 I was a foundling。 At times I am sorry
I do not belong to any one； and at other times I am glad。 You know I
am fond of books and of art； so my life is not altogether empty； and I
find my pleasure in hard work。 When I saw you at the gallery I wished
to know you； and I asked one of the students who you were。 He told me
you were a misanthrope。 Then I did not care so much about knowing you；
until one day you spoke to me about my painting； and that was the
beginning of our friendship。〃
〃Forty years ago；〃 he said； sadly； 〃the friend of my boyhood deceived
me。 I had not thought it possible that he could be false to me。 He
screened himself behind me； and became prosperous and respected at the
expense of my honour。 I vowed I would never again make a friend。 A few
years later； when I was beginning to hold up my head； the woman whom I
loved deceived me。 Then I put from me all affection and all love。
Greater natures than mine are better able to bear these troubles； but
my heart contracted and withered up。〃
He paused for a moment； many recollections overpowering him。 Then he
went on telling her the history of his life； unfolding to her the
story of his hopes and ambitions； describing to her the very home
where he was born； and the dark…eyed sister whom he had loved； and
with whom he had played over the daisied fields； and through the
carpeted woods； and all among the richly tinted bracken。 One day he
was told she was dead； and that he must never speak her name； but he
spoke it all the day and all the night；Beryl； nothing but Beryl；
and he looked for her in the fields and in the woods and among the
bracken。 It seemed as if he had unlocked the casket of his heart；
closed for so many years； and as if all the memories of the past and
all the secrets of his life were rushing out； glad to be free once
more； and grateful for the open air of sympathy。
〃Beryl was as swift as a deer！〃 he exclaimed。 〃You would have laughed
to see her on the moor。 Ah； it was hard to give up all the thoughts of
meeting her again。 They told me I should see her in heaven； but I did
not care about heaven。 I wanted Beryl on earth； as I knew her； a merry
laughing sister。 I think you are right： we don't forget； we become
resigned in a dead； dull kind of way。〃
Suddenly he said； 〃I don't know why I have told you all this。 And yet
it has been such a pleasure to me。 You are the only person to whom I
could have spoken about myself； for no one else but you would have
cared。〃
〃Don't you think；〃 she said gently； 〃that you made a mistake in
letting your experiences embitter you？ Because you had been unlucky in
one or two instances it did not follow that all the world was against
you。 Perhaps you unconsciously put yourself against all the world； and
therefore saw every one in an unfavourable light。 It seems so easy to
do that。 Trouble comes to most people； doesn't it？ And your philosophy
should have taught you to make the best of it。 At least； that is my
notion of the value of philosophy。〃
She spoke hesitatingly； as though she gave utterance to these words
against her will。
〃I am sure you are right； child；〃 he said； eagerly。
He put his hands to his eyes； but he could not keep back the tears。
〃I have been such a lonely old man；〃 he sobbed； 〃no one can tell what
a lonely； loveless life mine has been。 If I were not so old and so
tired I should like to begin all over again。〃
He sobbed for many minutes； and she did not know what to say to him of
comfort； but she took his hand within her own； and gently caressed it；
as one might do to a little child in pain。 He looked up and smiled
through his tears。
〃You have been very good to me；〃 he said； 〃and I dare say you have
thought me ungrateful。 You mended my coat for me one morning； and not
a day has passed but that I have looked at that darn and thought of
you。 I liked to remember that you had done it for me。 But you have
done far more than this for me： you have put some sweetness into my
life。 Whatever becomes of me hereafter； I shall never be able to think
of my life on earth as anything but beautiful； because you thought
kindly of me and acted kindly for me。 The other night； when this
terrible pain came over me； I wished you were near me； I wished to
hear your voice。 There is very beautiful music in your voice。〃
〃I would have come to you gladly；〃 she said； smiling quietly at him。
〃You must make a promise that when you feel ill again you will send
for me。 Then you will see what a splendid nurse I am； and how soon you
will become strong and well under my care； strong enough to paint many
more pictures； each one better than the last。 Now will you promise？〃
〃Yes；〃 he said； and he raised her hand reverently to his lips。
〃You are not angry with me for doing that？〃 he asked； suddenly。 〃I
should not like to vex you。〃
〃I am not vexed；〃 she answered； kindly。
〃Then perhaps I may kiss it once more？〃 he asked。
〃Yes；〃 she answered； and again he raised her hand to his lips。
〃Thank you；〃 he said quietly； 〃that was kind of you。 Do you see that
broken sun…ray yonder？ Is it not golden？ I find it very pleasant to
sit here； and I am quite happy； and almost free from pain。 Lately I
have been troubled with a dull thudding pain near my heart； but now I
feel so strong that I believe I shall finish that Andrea del Sarto
after all。〃
〃Of course you will；〃 she answered； cheerily； 〃and I shall have to
confess that yours is better than mine！ I am quite willing to yield
the palm to you。〃
〃I must alter the expression of the mouth；〃 he replied。 〃That is the
part which has worried me。 I don't think I told you that I have had a
commission to copy Rembrandt's 'Old Jew。' I must set to work on that
next week。〃
〃But you have given me your palette and brushes！〃 she laughed。
〃You must be generous enough to lend them to me；〃 he said； smiling。
〃By the way； I intend to give you my books； all of them。 Some day I
must show them to you。 I especially value my philosophical books； they
have been my faithful companions through many years。 I believe you do
not read Greek。 That is a pity； because you would surely enjoy
Aristotle。 I think I must teach you Greek； it would be an agreeable
legacy to leave you when I pass away into the Great Silence。〃
〃I should like to learn；〃 she said； wondering to hear him speak so
unreservedly。 It seemed as if some vast barrier had been rolled aside；
and as if she were getting to know him better； having been allowed to
glance into his past life； to sympathise with his past mistakes； and
with the failure of his ambitions； and with the deadening of his
heart。
〃You must read AEschylus；〃 he continued； enthusiastically； 〃and； if I
mistake not； the Agamemnon will be an epoch in your life。 You will
find that all these studies will serve to ennoble your art； and you
will be able to put mind into your work； and not merely form and
colour。 Do you know； I feel so well that I believe I shall not only
live to finish Andrea del Sarto； but also to smoke another pipe？〃
〃You have been too rash to…day；〃 she laughed； 〃giving away your pipe
and pouch； your palette and brushes； in this reckless manner！ I must
get you a new pipe to…morrow。 I wonder you did not part with your
venerable Lucretius。〃
〃That reminds me；〃 he said； fumbling in his pocket； 〃I think I have
dropped my Lucretius。 I fancy I left it somewhere in the Poets'
Corner。 It would grieve me to lose that book。〃
〃Let me go and look for it；〃 she said； and she advanced a few steps；
and then came back to him。
〃You have been saying many kind words to me；〃 she said； as she put her
hand on his arm； 〃and I have not told you that I value your
friendship； and am grateful to you for letting me be more than a mere
stranger to you。 I have been very lonely in my life； for I am not one
to make friends easily； and it has been a great privilege to me to
talk with you。 I want you to know this： for if I have been anything to
you； you have been a great deal to me。 I have never met with much
sympathy from those of my own age： I have found them narrow and
unyielding； and they found me dull and uninteresting。 They had passed
through few experiences and knew nothing about failure or success； and
some of them did not even understand the earnestness of endeavour； and
laughed at me when I spoke of a high ideal。 So I withdrew into myself；
and should probably have grown still more isolated than I was before；
but that I met you； and； as time went on； we became friends。 I shall
always remember your teaching； and I will try to keep to a high ideal
of life and art and endeavour； and I will not let despair creep into
my heart； and I will not lose my faith in humanity。〃
As she spoke a lingering ray of sunshine lit up her face and gently
caressed her soft brown hair； slight though her form； sombre her
clothes； and unlovely her features； she seemed a gracious presence
because of her earnestness。
〃Now；〃 she said； cheerily； 〃you rest here until I come back with your
Lucretius； and then I think I must be getting on my way home。 But y