heidi- 第20部分

〃Frau　Sesemann　will　no　doubt　agree　with　me；〃　she　interrupted；　〃that　it　was　necessary　to　choose　a　name　that　could　be　pronounced　easily；　if　only　for　the　sake　of　the　servants。〃

〃My　worthy　Rottenmeier；〃　replied　Frau　Sesemann；　〃if　a　person　is　called　'Heidi'　and　has　grown　accustomed　to　that　name；　I　call　her　by　the　same；　and　so　let　it　be。〃

Fraulein　Rottenmeier　was　always　very　much　annoyed　that　the　old　lady　continually　addressed　her　by　her　surname　only；　but　it　was　no　use　minding；　for　the　grandmother　always　went　her　own　way；　and　so　there　was　no　help　for　it。　Moreover　the　grandmother　was　a　keen　old　lady；　and　had　all　her　five　wits　about　her；　and　she　knew　what　was　going　on　in　the　house　as　soon　as　she　entered　it。

When　on　the　following　day　Clara　lay　down　as　usual　on　her　couch　after　dinner；　the　grandmother　sat　down　beside　her　for　a　few　minutes　and　closed　her　eyes；　then　she　got　up　again　as　lively　as　ever；　and　trotted　off　into　the　dining…room。　No　one　was　there。　〃She　is　asleep；　I　suppose；〃　she　said　to　herself；　and　then　going　up　to　Fraulein　Rottenmeier's　room　she　gave　a　loud　knock　at　the　door。　She　waited　a　few　minutes　and　then　Fraulein　Rottenmeier　opened　the　door　and　drew　back　in　surprise　at　this　unexpected　visit。

〃Where　is　the　child；　and　what　is　she　doing　all　this　time？　That　is　what　I　came　to　ask；〃　said　Frau　Sesemann。

〃She　is　sitting　in　her　room；　where　she　could　well　employ　herself　if　she　had　the　least　idea　of　making　herself　useful；　but　you　have　no　idea；　Frau　Sesemann；　of　the　out…of…the…way　things　this　child　imagines　and　does；　things　which　I　could　hardly　repeat　in　good　society。〃

〃I　should　do　the　same　if　I　had　to　sit　in　there　like　that　child；　I　can　tell　you；　I　doubt　if　you　would　then　like　to　repeat　what　I　did；　in　good　society！　Go　and　fetch　the　child　and　bring　her　to　my　room；　I　have　some　pretty　books　with　me　that　I　should　like　to　give　her。〃

〃That　is　just　the　misfortune；〃　said　Fraulein　Rottenmeier　with　a　despairing　gesture；　〃what　use　are　books　to　her？　She　has　not　been　able　to　learn　her　A　B　C　even；　all　the　long　time　she　has　been　here；　it　is　quite　impossible　to　get　the　least　idea　of　it　into　her　head；　and　that　the　tutor　himself　will　tell　you；　if　he　had　not　the　patience　of　an　angel　he　would　have　given　up　teaching　her　long　ago。〃

〃That　is　very　strange；〃　said　Frau　Sesemann；　〃she　does　not　look　to　me　like　a　child　who　would　be　unable　to　learn　her　alphabet。　However；　bring　her　now　to　me；　she　can　at　least　amuse　herself　with　the　pictures　in　the　books。〃

Fraulein　Rottenmeier　was　prepared　with　some　further　remarks；　but　the　grandmother　had　turned　away　and　gone　quickly　towards　her　own　room。　She　was　surprised　at　what　she　had　been　told　about　Heidi's　incapacity　for　learning；　and　determined　to　find　out　more　concerning　this　matter；　not　by　inquiries　from　the　tutor；　however；　although　she　esteemed　him　highly　for　his　uprightness　of　character；　she　had　always　a　friendly　greeting　for　him；　but　always　avoided　being　drawn　into　conversation　with　him；　for　she　found　his　style　of　talk　somewhat　wearisome。

Heidi　now　appeared　and　gazed　with　open…eyed　delight　and　wonder　at　the　beautiful　colored　pictures　in　the　books　which　the　grandmother　gave　her　to　look　at。　All　of　a　sudden；　as　the　latter　turned　over　one　of　the　pages　to　a　fresh　picture；　the　child　gave　a　cry。　For　a　moment　or　two　she　looked　at　it　with　brightening　eyes；　then　the　tears　began　to　fall；　and　at　last　she　burst　into　sobs。　The　grandmother　looked　at　the　pictureit　represented　a　green　pasture；　full　of　young　animals；　some　grazing　and　others　nibbling　at　the　shrubs。　In　the　middle　was　a　shepherd　leaning　upon　his　staff　and　looking　on　at　his　happy　flock。　The　whole　scene　was　bathed　in　golden　light；　for　the　sun　was　just　sinking　below　the　horizon。

The　grandmother　laid　her　hand　kindly　On　Heidi's。

〃Don't　cry；　dear　child；　don't　cry；〃　she　said；　〃the　picture　has　reminded　you　perhaps　of　something。　But　see；　there　is　a　beautiful　tale　to　the　picture　which　I　will　tell　you　this　evening。　And　there　are　other　nice　tales　of　all　kinds　to　read　and　to　tell　again。　But　now　we　must　have　a　little　talk　together；　so　dry　your　tears　and　come　and　stand　in　front　of　me；　so　that　I　may　see　you　wellthere；　now　we　are　happy　again。〃

But　it　was　some　little　time　before　Heidi　could　overcome　her　sobs。　The　grandmother　gave　her　time　to　recover　herself；　saying　cheering　words　to　her　now　and　then；　〃There；　it's　all　right　now；　and　we　are　quite　happy　again。〃

When　at　last　she　saw　that　Heidi　was　growing　calmer；　she　said；　〃Now　I　want　you　to　tell　me　something。　How　are　you　getting　on　in　your　school…time；　do　you　like　your　lessons；　and　have　you　learnt　a　great　deal？〃

〃O　no！〃　replied　Heidi；　sighing；　〃but　I　knew　beforehand　that　it　was　not　possible　to　learn。〃

〃What　is　it　you　think　impossible　to　learn？〃

〃Why；　to　read；　it　is　too　difficult。〃

〃You　don't　say　so！　and　who　told　you　that？〃

〃Peter　told　me；　and　he　knew　all　about　it；　for　he　had　tried　and　tried　and　could　not　learn　it。〃

〃Peter　must　be　a　very　odd　boy　then！　But　listen；　Heidi；　we　must　not　always　go　by　what　Peter　says；　we　must　try　for　ourselves。　I　am　certain　that　you　did　not　give　all　your　attention　to　the　tutor　when　he　was　trying　to　teach　you　your　letters。〃

〃It's　of　no　use；〃　said　Heidi　in　the　tone　of　one　who　was　ready　to　endure　what　could　not　be　cured。

〃Listen　to　what　I　have　to　say；〃　continued　the　grandmother。　〃You　have　not　been　able　to　learn　your　alphabet　because　you　believed　what　Peter　said；　but　now　you　must　believe　what　I　tell　youand　I　tell　you　that　you　can　learn　to　read　in　a　very　little　while；　as　many　other　children　do；　who　are　made　like　you　and　not　like　Peter。　And　now　hear　what　comes　afteryou　see　that　picture　with　the　shepherd　and　the　animalswell；　as　soon　as　you　are　able　to　read　you　shall　have　that　book　for　your　own；　and　then　you　will　know　all　about　the　sheep　and　the　goats；　and　what　the　shepherd　did；　and　the　wonderful　things　that　happened　to　him；　just　as　if　some　one　were　telling　you　the　whole　tale。　You　will　like　to　hear　about　all　that；　won't　you？〃

Heidi　had　listened　with　eager　attention　to　the　grandmother's　words　and　now　with　a　sigh　exclaimed；　〃Oh；　if　only　I　could　read　now！〃

〃It　won't　take　you　long　now　to　learn；　that　I　can　see；　and　now　we　must　go　down　to　Clara；　bring　the　books　with　you。〃　And　hand　in　hand　the　two　returned　to　the　study。〃

Since　the　day　when　Heidi　had　so　longed　to　go　home；　and　Fraulein　Rottenmeier　had　met　her　and　scolded　her　on　the　steps；　and　told　her　how　wicked　and　ungrateful　she　was　to　try　and　run　away；　and　what　a　good　thing　it　was　that　Herr　Sesemann　knew　nothing　about　it；　a　change　had　come　over　the　child。　She　had　at　last　understood　that　day　that　she　could　not　go　home　when　she　wished　as　Dete　had　told　her；　but　that　she　would　have　to　stay　on　in　Frankfurt　for　a　long；　long　time；　perhaps　for　ever。　She　had　also　understood　that　Herr　Sesemann　would　think　it　ungrateful　of　her　if　she　wished　to　leave；　and　she　believed　that　the　grandmother　and　Clara　would　think　the　same。　So　there　was　nobody　to　whom　she　dared　confide　her　longing　to　go　home；　for　she　would　not　for　the　world　have　given　the　grandmother；　who　was　so　kind　to　her；　any　reason　for　being　as　angry　with　her　as　Fraulein　Rottenmeier　had　been。　But　the　weight　of　trouble　on　the　little　heart　grew　heavier　and　heavier；　she　could　no　longer　eat　her　food；　and　every　day　she　grew　a　little　paler。　She　lay　awake　for　long　hours　at　night；　for　as　soon　as　she　was　alone　and　everything　was　still　around　her；　the　picture　of　the　mountain　with　its　sunshine　and　flowers　rose　vividly　before　her　eyes；　and　when　at　last　she　fell　asleep　it　was　to　dream　of　the　rocks　and　the　snow…field　turning　crimson　in　the　evening　light；　and　waking　in　the　morning　she　would　think　herself　back　at　the　hut　and　prepare　to　run　joyfully　out　intothe　sunand　thenthere　was　her　large　bed；　and　here　she　was　in　Frankfurt　far；　far　away　from　home。　And　Heidi　would　often　lay　her　face　down　on　the　pillow　and　weep　long　and　quietly　so　that　no　one　might　hear　her。

Heidi's　unhappiness　did　not　escape　the　grandmother's　notice。　She　let　some　days　go　by　to　see　if　the　child　grew　brighter　and　lost　her　down…cast　appearance。　But　as　matters　did　not　mend；　and　she　saw　that　many　mornings　Heidi　had　evidently　been　crying　before　she　came　downstairs；　she　took　her　again　into　her　room　one　day；　and　drawing　the　child　to　her　said；　〃Now　tell　me；　Heidi；　what　is　the　matter；　are　you　in　trouble？〃

But　Heidi；　afraid　if　she　told　the　truth　that　the　grandmother　would　think　her　ungrateful；　and　would　then　leave　off　being　so　kind　to　her；　answered；　can't　tell　you。〃

〃Well；　could　you　tell　Clara　about　it？〃

〃Oh；　no；　I　cannot　tell　any　one；〃　said　Heidi　in　so　positive　a　tone；　and　with　a　look　of　such　trouble　on　her　face；　that　the　grandmother　felt　full　of　pity　for　the　child。

〃Then；　dear　child；　let　me　tell　you　what　to　do：　you　know　that　when　we　are　in　great　trouble；　and　cannot　speak　about　it　to　anybody；　we　must　turn　to　God　and　pray　Him　to　help；　for　He　can　deliver　us　from　every　care；　that　oppresses　us。　You　understand　that；　do　you　not？　You　say　your　prayers　every　evening　to　the　dear　God　in　Heaven；　and　thank　Him　for　all　He　has　done　for　you；　and　pray　Him　to　keep　you　from　all　evil；　do　you　not？〃

〃No；　I　never　say　any　prayers；〃　answered　Heidi。

〃Have　you　never　been　taught　to　pray；　Heidi；　do　you　not　know　even　what　it　means？〃

〃I　used　to　say　prayers　with　the　first　grandmother；　but　that　is　a　long　time　ago；　and　I　have　forgotten　them。〃

〃That　is　the　reason；　Heidi；　that　you　are　so　unhappy；　because　you　know　no　one　who　can　help　you。　Think　what　a　comfort　it　is　when　the　heart　is　heavy　with　grief　to　be　able　at　any　moment　to　go　and　tell　everything　to　God；　and　pray　Him　for　the　help　that　no　one　else　can　give　us。　And　He　can　help　us　and　give　us　everything　that　will　make　us　happy　again。〃

A　sudden　gleam　of　joy　came　into　Heidi's　eyes。　〃May　I　tell　Him　everything；　everything？〃

〃Yes；　everything；　Heidi；　everything。〃

Heidi　drew　her　hand　away；　which　the　grandmother　was　holding　affectionately　between　her　own；　and　said　quickly；　〃May　I　go？〃

〃Yes；　of　course；〃　was　the　answer；　and　Heidi　ran　out　of　the　room　into　her　own；　and　sitting　herself　on　a　stool；　folded　her　hands　together　and　told　God　about　everything　that　was　making　her　so　sad　and　unhappy；　and　begged　Him　earnestly　to　help　her　and　to　let　her　go　home　to　her　grandfather。

It　was　about　a　week　after　this