eyes were strained and sore； and she was very weak。 A curious
passive inattention had such possession of her； that the presence
of her little sister in the room did not attract her notice for some
time。 Even when their eyes had met； and her sister had
approached the bed； Louisa lay for minutes looking at her in
silence； and suffering her timidly to hold her passive hand； before
she asked：
“When was I brought to this room？”
“Last night； Louisa。”
“Who brought me here？”
“Sissy； I believe。”
“Why do you believe so？”
“Because I found her here this morning。 She didn’t come to my
bedside to wake me； as she always does； and I went to look for her。
She was not in her own room either； and I went looking for her all
over the house； until I found her here； taking care of you and
cooling your head。 Will you see father？ Sissy said I was to tell him
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when you woke。”
“What a beaming face you have； Jane！” said Louisa； as her
young sister—timidly still—bent down to kiss her。
“Have l？ I am very glad you think so。 I am sure it must be
Sissy’s doing。”
The arm Louisa had begun to twine about her neck； unbent
itself。 “You can tell father； if you will。” Then； staying her a
moment； she said； “It was you who made my room so cheerful； and
gave it this look of welcome？”
“Oh no； Louisa； it was done before I came。 It was—” Louisa
turned upon her pillow； and heard no more。 When her sister had
withdrawn； she turned her head back again； and lay with her face
towards the door； until it opened and her father entered。
He had a jaded anxious look upon him； and his hand； usually
steady； trembled in hers。 He sat down at the side of the bed；
tenderly asking how she was； and dwelling on the necessity of her
keeping very quiet after her agitation and exposure to the weather
last night。 He spoke in a subdued and troubled voice； very
different from his usual dictatorial manner； and was often at a loss
for words。
“My dear Louisa。 My poor daughter。” He was so much at a loss
at that place； that he stopped altogether。 He tried again。
“My unfortunate child。” The place was so difficult to get over；
that he tried again。
“It would be hopeless for me； Louisa； to endeavour to tell you
how overwhelmed I have been； and still am； by what broke upon
me last night。 The ground on which I stand has ceased to be solid
under my feet。 The only support on which I leaned； and the
strength of which it seemed and still does seem； impossible to
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question； has given way in an instant。 I am stunned by these
discoveries。 I have no selfish meaning in what I say； but I find the
shock of what broke upon me last night； to be very heavy indeed。”
She could give him no comfort herein。 She had suffered the
wreck of her whole life upon the rock。
“I will not say； Louisa； that if you had by any happy chance
undeceived me some time ago； it would have been better for us
both； better for your peace； and better for mine。 For I am sensible
that it may not have been a part of my system to invite any
confidence of that kind。 I have proved my—my system to myself；
and I have rigidly administered it； and I must bear the
responsibility of its failures。 I only entreat you to believe； my
favourite child； I have meant to do right。”
He said it earnestly； and to do him justice he had。 In gauging
fathomless deeps with his little mean excise…rod； and in staggering
over the universe with his rusty stiff…legged compasses； he had
meant to do great things。 Within the limits of his short tether he
had tumbled about； annihilating the flowers of existence with
greater singleness of purpose than many of the blatant personages
whose company he kept。
“I am well assured of what you say； father。 I know I have been
your favourite child。 I know you have intended to make me happy。
I have never blamed you； and I never shall。”
He took her outstretched hand； and retained it in his。
“My dear； I have remained all night at my table； pondering
again and again on what has so painfully passed between us。
When I consider your character； when I consider that what has
been known to me for hours； has been concealed by you for years；
when I consider under what immediate pressure it has been
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forced from you at last； I come to the conclusion that I cannot but
mistrust myself。”
He might have added more than all； when he saw the face now
looking at him。 He did add it in effect； perhaps； as he softly moved
her scattered hair from her forehead with his hand。 Such little
actions； slight in another man； were very noticeable in him； and
his daughter received them as if they had been words of
contrition。
“But；” said Mr Gradgrind； slowly； and with hesitation； as well
as with a wretched sense of helplessness； “if I see reason to
mistrust myself for the past； Louisa； I should also mistrust myself
for the present and the future。 To speak unreservedly to you； I do。
I am far from feeling convinced now； however differently I might
have felt only this time yesterday； that I am fit for the trust you
repose in me； that I know how to respond to the appeal you have
come home to make to me； that I have the right instinct—
supposing it for the moment to be some quality of that nature—
how to help you； and to set you right； my child。”
She had turned upon her pillow； and lay with her face upon her
arm； so that he could not see it。 All her wildness and passion had
subsided； but； though softened； she was not in tears。 Her father
was changed in nothing so much as in the respect that he would
have been glad to see her in tears。
“Some persons hold；” he pursued； still hesitating； “that there is
a wisdom of the Head； and that there is a wisdom of the Heart。 I
have not supposed so； but； as I have said； I mistrust myself now。 I
have supposed the Head to be all…sufficient。 It may not be all…
sufficient； how can I venture this morning to say it is！ If that other
kind of wisdom should be what I have neglected； and should be
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the instinct that is wanted； Louisa—” He suggested it very
doubtfully； as if he were half unwilling to admit it even now。 She
made him no answer； lying before him on her bed； still half…
dressed； much as he had seen her lying on the floor of his room
last night。
“Louisa；” and his hand rested on her hair again； “I have been
absent from here； my dear； a good deal of late； and though your
sister’s training has been pursued according to—the system；” he
appeared to come to that word with great reluctance always； “it
has necessarily been modified by daily associations begun； in her
case； at an early age。 I ask you—ignorantly and humbly； my
daughter—for the better； do you think？”
“Father；” she replied； without stirring； “if any harmony has
been awakened in her young breast that was mute in mine until it
turned to discord； let her thank Heaven for it； and go upon her
happier way； taking it as her greatest blessing that she has avoided
my way。”
“O my child； my child！” he said； in a forlorn manner； “I am an
unhappy man to see you thus！ What avails it to me that you do not
reproach me； if I so bitterly reproach myself！” He bent his head；
and spoke low to her。 “Louisa； I have a misgiving that some
change may have been slowly working about me in this house； by
mere love and gratitude； that what the Head had left undone and
could not do； the Heart may have been doing silently。 Can it be
so？”
She made him no reply。
“I am not too proud to believe it； Louisa。 How could I be
arrogant； and you before me！ Can it be so？ Is it so； my dear？”
He looked upon her； once more； lying cast away there； and
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