time to eat before train time。 The maples is all out in full…grown leaves；
'Dory you just ought to see 'em！
〃Not this early； Beriah？
〃You ought to see 'em； 'Dory； they're like an ocean of green in the
morning sunlight。〃
〃Oh； Beriah！〃
On the train she said to him suddenly：
〃I wonder why you came when you got my let… ter。〃
〃Oh； shucks！ 〃 said Beriah。 〃Did you think you could fool me？ How
could you be run away to that Bohemia country like you said when your
letter was postmarked New York as plain as day？〃
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A PHILISTINE IN BOHEMIA
George Washington； with his right arm up… raised； sits his iron horse
at the lower corner of Union Square； forever signaling the Broadway cars
to stop as they round the curve into Fourteenth Street。 But the cars buzz on；
heedless； as they do at the beck of a private citizen； and the great General
must feel； unless his nerves are iron； that rapid tran… sit gloria mundi。
Should the General raise his left hand as he has raised his right it
would point to a quarter of the city that forms a haven for the oppressed
and sup… pressed of foreign lands。 In the cause of national or personal
freedom they have found a refuge here； and the patriot who made it for
them sits his steed； overlooking their district； while he listens through his
left car to vaudeville that caricatures the posterity of his proteges。 Italy；
Poland； the former Spanish possessions and the polyglot tribes of Austria…
Hun… gary have spilled here a thick lather of their effer… vescent sons。 In
the eccentric cafes and lodging… houses of the vicinity they hover over
their native wines and political secrets。 The colony changes with much
frequency。 Faces disappear from the haunts to be replaced by others。
Whither do these uneasy birds flit？ For half of the answer observe
carefully the suave foreign air and foreign courtesy of the next waiter who
serves your table d'hote。 For the other half； perhaps if the barber shops had
tongues （and who will dispute it？） they could tell their share。
Titles are as plentiful as finger rings among these transitory exiles。 For
lack of proper exploitation a stock of titled goods large enough to supply
the trade of upper Fifth Avenue is here condemned to a mere pushcart
traffic。 The new…world landlords who en… tertain these offshoots of
nobility are not dazzled by coronets and crests。 They have doughnuts to
sell instead of daughters。 With them it is a serious matter of trading in
flour and sugar instead of pearl powder and bonbons。
These assertions are deemed fitting as an intro… duction to the tale；
which is of plebeians and contains no one with even the ghost of a title。
Katy Dempsey's mother kept a furnished…room house in this oasis of
the aliens。 The business was not profitable。 If the two scraped together
enough to meet the landlord's agent on rent day and nego… tiate for the
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ingredients of a daily Irish stew they called it success。 Often the stew
lacked both meat and potatoes。 Sometimes it became as bad as con…
somme' with music。
In this mouldy old house Katy waxed plump and pert and wholesome
and as beautiful and freckled as a tiger lily。 She was the good fairy who
was guilty of placing the damp clean towels and cracked pitchers of
freshly laundered Croton in the lodgers' rooms。
You are informed （by virtue of the privileges of astronomical
discovery） that the star lodger's name was Mr。 Brunelli。 His wearing a
yellow tie and pay… ing his rent promptly distinguished him from the other
lodgers。 His raiment was splendid； his com… plexion olive； his； mustache
fierce； his manners a prince's； his rings and pins as magnificent as those of
a traveling dentist。
He had breakfast served in his room； and he ate it in a red dressing
gown with green tassels。 He left the house at noon and returned at
midnight。 Those were mysterious hours； but there was nothing my… terious
about Mrs。 Dempsey's lodgers except the things that were not mysterious。
One of Mr。 Kip… ling's poems is addressed to 〃Ye who hold the un… written
clue to all save all unwritten thing。〃 The same 〃readers〃 are invited to
tackle the foregoing assertion。
Mr。 Brunelli； being impressionable and a Latin； fell to conjugating the
verb 〃amare；〃 with Katy in the objective case； though not because of
antipathy。 She talked it over with her mother。
〃Sure； I like him；〃 said Katy。 〃He's more po… liteness than twinty
candidates for Alderman； and lie makes me feel like a queen whin he
walks at me side。 But what is he； I dinno？ I've me suspicions。 The
marnin'll coom whin he'll throt out the picture av his baronial halls and ax
to have the week's rint hung up in the ice chist along wid all the rist of
'em。〃
〃'Tis true；〃 admitted Mrs。 Dempsey； 〃that he seems to be a sort iv a
Dago； and too coolchured in his spache for a rale gentleman。 But ye may
be mis… judgin' him。 Ye should niver suspect any wan of bein' of noble
descint that pays cash and pathronizes the laundry rig'lar。〃
〃He's the same tbricks of spakin' and blarneyin' wid his hands；〃 sighed
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Katy； 〃as the Frinch noble… man at Mrs。 Toole's that ran away wid Mr。
Toole's Sunday pants and left the photograph of the Bastile； his
grandfather's chat…taw； as security for tin weeks' rint。〃
Mr。 Brunelli continued his calorific wooing。 Katy continued to hesitate。
One day he asked her out to dine and she felt that a denouement was in the
air。 While they are on their way； with Katy in her best muslin； you must
take as an entr'acte a brief peep at New York's Bohemia。
'Tonio's restaurant is in Bohemia。 The very lo… cation of it is secret。 If
you wish to know where it is ask the first person you meet。 He will tell
you in a whisper。 'Tonio discountenances custom； he keeps his house…front
black and forbidding； he gives you a pretty bad dinner； he locks his door at
the dining hour； but he knows spaghetti as the boarding…house knows cold
veal； and he has deposited many dol… lars in a certain Banco di
something with many gold vowels in the name on its windows。
To this restaurant Mr。 Brunelli conducted Katy。 The house was dark
and the shades were lowered； but Mr。 Brunelli touched an electric button
by the base… ment door； and they were admitted。
Along a long； dark； narrow hallway they went and then through a
shining and spotless kitchen that opened directly upon a back yard。
The walls of houses hemmed three sides of the yard； a high； board
fence； surrounded by cats； the other。 A wash of clothes was suspended
high upon a line stretched from diagonal corners。 Those were property
clothes； and were never taken in by 'Tonio。 They were there that wits with
defective pronuncia… tion might make puns in connection with the ragout。
A dozen and a half little tables set upon the bare ground were crowded
with Bohemia…hunters； who flocked there because 'Tonio pretended not to
want them and pretended to give them a good dinner。 There was a
sprinkling of real Bohemians present who came for a change because they
were tired of the real Bohemia； and a smart shower of the men who
originate the bright sayings of Congressmen and the little nephew of the
well…known general passen… ger agent of the Evansville and Terre Haute
Rail… road Company。
Here is a bon mot that was manufactured at 'Tonio's：
〃A dinner at 'Tonio's；〃 said a Bohemian； 〃always amounts to twice the
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price that is asked for it。〃
Let us assume that an accommodating voice in… quires：
〃How so？〃
〃The dinner costs you 40 cents； you give 10 cents to the waiter； and it
makes you feel like 30 cents。〃
Most of the diners were confirmed table d'hoters gastronomic
adventuress； forever seeking the El Do… rado of a good claret； and
consistently coming to grief in California。
Mr。 Brunelli escorted Katy to a little table em… bowered with
shrubbery in tubs； and asked her to excuse him for a while。
Katy sat； enchanted by a scene so brilliant to her。 The grand ladies； in
splendid dresses and plumes and sparkling rings； the fine gentlemen who
laughed so loudly； the cries of 〃Garsong！ 〃 and 〃We； mon… seer；〃 and
〃Hello； Mame！ 〃 that distinguish Bo… hemia； the