a far country- 第46部分

I　dressed　at　George's；　then；　like　one　of　those　bewildering　shifts　of　a
cinematograph；　comes　the　scene　in　church；　the　glimpse　of　my　mother's
wistful　face　in　the　front　pew；　and　I　found　myself　in　front　of　the　austere
Mr。　Doddridge　standing　beside　Maudeor　rather　beside　a　woman　I　tried
hard　to　believe　was　Maudeso　veiled　and　generally　encased　was　she。　　I
was　thinking　of　this　all　the　time　I　was　mechanically　answering　Mr。
Doddridge；　and　even　when　the　wedding　march　burst　forth　and　I　led　her　out
of　the　church。　　It　was　as　though　they　had　done　their　best　to　disguise
her；　to　put　our　union　on　the　other…worldly　plane　that　was　deemed　to　be
its　only　justification；　to　neutralize　her　sex　at　the　very　moment　it
should　have　been　most　enhanced。　　Well；　they　succeeded。　　If　I　had　not　been
as　conventional　as　the　rest；　I　should　have　preferred　to　have　run　away
with　her　in　the　lavender　dress　she　wore　when　I　first　proposed　to　her。　　It
was　only　when　we　had　got　into　the　carriage　and　started　for　the　house　and
she　turned　to　me　her　face　from　which　the　veil　had　been　thrown　back　that　I
realized　what　a　sublime　meaning　it　all　had　for　her。　　Her　eyes　were　wet。
Once　more　I　was　acutely　conscious　of　my　inability　to　feel　deeply　at
supreme　moments。　　For　months　I　had　looked　forward　with　anticipation　and
impatience　to　my　wedding…day。

I　kissed　her　gently。　　But　I　felt　as　though　she　had　gone　to　heaven；　and
that　the　face　I　beheld　enshrouded　were　merely　her　effigy。　　Commonplace
words　were　inappropriate；　yet　it　was　to　these　I　resorted。

〃Wellit　wasn't　so　bad　after　all！　　Was　it？〃

She　smiled　at　me。

〃You　don't　want　to　take　it　back？〃

She　shook　her　head。

〃I　think　it　was　a　beautiful　wedding；　Hugh。　　I'm　so　glad　we　had　a　good
day。〃。。。

She　seemed　shy；　at　once　very　near　and　very　remote。　　I　held　her　hand
awkwardly　until　the　carriage　stopped。

A　little　later　we　were　standing　in　a　corner　of　the　parlour；　the
atmosphere　of　which　was　heavy　with　the　scent　of　flowers；　submitting　to
the　onslaught　of　relatives。　　Then　came　the　wedding　breakfast：　croquettes；
champagne；　chicken　salad；　ice…cream；　the　wedding…cake；　speeches　and　more
kisses。。。。　　I　remember　Tom　Peters　holding　on　to　both　my　hands。

〃Good…bye；　and　God　bless　you；　old　boy；〃　he　was　saying。　　Susan；　in　view　of
the　occasion；　had　allowed　him　a　little　more　champagne　than　usualenough
to　betray　his　feelings；　and　I　knew　that　these　had　not　changed　since　our
college　days。　　I　resolved　to　see　more　of　him。　　I　had　neglected　him　and
undervalued　his　loyalty。。。。　　He　had　followed　me　to　my　room　in　George's
house　where　I　was　dressing　for　the　journey；　and　he　gave　it　as　his
deliberate　judgment　that　in　Maude　I　had　〃struck　gold。〃

〃She's　just　the　girl　for　you；　Hughie；〃　he　declared。　　〃Susan　thinks　so；
too。〃

Later　in　the　afternoon；　as　we　sat　in　the　state…room　of　the　car　that　was
bearing　us　eastward；　Maude　began　to　cry。　　I　sat　looking　at　her
helplessly；　unable　to　enter　into　her　emotion；　resenting　it　a　little。　　Yet
I　tried　awkwardly　to　comfort　her。

〃I　can't　bear　to　leave　them；〃　she　said。

〃But　you　will　see　them　often；　when　we　come　back；〃　I　reassured　her。　　It
was　scarcely　the　moment　for　reminding　her　of　what　she　was　getting　in
return。　　This　peculiar　family　affection　she　evinced　was　beyond　me；　I　had
never　experienced　it　in　any　poignant　degree　since　I　had　gone　as　a
freshman　to　Harvard；　and　yet　I　was　struck　by　the　fact　that　her　emotions
were　so　rightly　placed。　　It　was　natural　to　love　one's　family。　　I　began　to
feel；　vaguely；　as　I　watched　her；　that　the　new　relationship　into　which　I
had　entered　was　to　be　much　more　complicated　than　I　had　imagined。
Twilight　was　coming　on；　the　train　was　winding　through　the　mountain
passes；　crossing　and　re…crossing　a　swift　little　stream　whose　banks　were
massed　with　alder；　here　and　there；　on　the　steep　hillsides；　blazed　the
goldenrod。。。。　　Presently　I　turned；　to　surprise　in　her　eyes　a　wide；
questioning　look；the　look　of　a　child。　　Even　in　this　irrevocable　hour
she　sought　to　grasp　what　manner　of　being　was　this　to　whom　she　had
confided　her　life；　and　with　whom　she　was　faring　forth　into　the　unknown。
The　experience　was　utterly　unlike　my　anticipation。　　Yet　I　responded。　　The
kiss　I　gave　her　had　no　passion　in　it。

〃I'll　take　good　care　of　you；　Maude；〃　I　said。

Suddenly；　in　the　fading　light；　she　flung　her　arms　around　me；　pressing　me
tightly；　desperately。

〃Oh；　I　know　you　will；　Hugh；　dear。　　And　you'll　forgive　me；　won't　you；　for
being　so　horrid　to…day；　of　all　days？　　I　do　love　you！〃

Neither　of　us　had　ever　been　abroad。　　And　although　it　was　before　the　days
of　swimming…pools　and　gymnasiums　and　a　la　carte　cafes　on　ocean　liners；
the　Atlantic　was　imposing　enough。　　Maude　had　a　more　lasting　capacity　for
pleasure　than　I；　a　keener　enjoyment　of　new　experiences；　and　as　she　lay
beside　me　in　the　steamer…chair　where　I　had　carefully　tucked　her　she　would
exclaim：

〃I　simply　can't　believe　it；　Hugh！　　It　seems　so　unreal。　　I'm　sure　I　shall
wake　up　and　find　myself　back　in　Elkington。〃

〃Don't　speak　so　loud；　my　dear；〃　I　cautioned　her。　　There　were　some　very
formal…looking　New　Yorkers　next　us。

〃No；　I　won't；〃　she　whispered。　　〃But　I'm　so　happy　I　feel　as　though　I
should　like　to　tell　everyone。〃

〃There's　no　need；〃　I　answered　smiling。

〃Oh；　Hugh；　I　don't　want　to　disgrace　you！〃　she　exclaimed；　in　real　alarm。
〃Otherwise；　so　far　as　I　am　concerned；　I　shouldn't　care　who　knew。〃

People　smiled　at　her。　　Women　came　up　and　took　her　hands。　　And　on　the
fourth　day　the　formidable　New　Yorkers　unexpectedly　thawed。

I　had　once　thought　of　Maude　as　plastic。　　Then　I　had　discovered　she　had　a
mind　and　will　of　her　own。　　Once　more　she　seemed　plastic；　her　love　had
made　her　so。　　Was　it　not　what　I　had　desired？　　I　had　only　to　express　a
wish；　and　it　became　her　law。　　Nay；　she　appealed　to　me　many　times　a　day　to
know　whether　she　had　made　any　mistakes；　and　I　began　to　drill　her　in　my
silly　traditions；gently；　very　gently。

〃Well；　I　shouldn't　be　quite　so　familiar　with　people；　quite　so　ready　to
make　acquaintances；　Maude。　　You　have　no　idea　who　they　may　be。　　Some　of
them；　of　course；　like　the　Sardells；　I　know　by　reputation。〃

The　Sardells　were　the　New　Yorkers　who　sat　next　us。

〃I'll　try；　Hugh；　to　be　more　reserved；　more　like　the　wife　of　an　important
man。〃　　She　smiled。

〃It　isn't　that　you're　not　reserved；〃　I　replied；　ignoring　the　latter　half
of　her　remark。　　〃Nor　that　I　want　you　to　change；〃　I　said。　　〃I　only　want　to
teach　you　what　little　of　the　world　I　know　myself。〃

〃And　I　want　to　learn；　Hugh。　　You　don't　know　how　I　want　to　learn！〃

The　sight　of　mist…ridden　Liverpool　is　not　a　cheering　one　for　the　American
who　first　puts　foot　on　the　mother　country's　soil；　a　Liverpool　of　yellow…
browns　and　dingy　blacks；　of　tilted　funnels　pouring　out　smoke　into　an
atmosphere　already　charged　with　it。　　The　long　wharves　and　shed　roofs
glistened　with　moisture。

〃Just　think；　Hugh；　it's　actually　England！〃　she　cried；　as　we　stood　on　the
wet　deck。　　But　I　felt　as　though　I'd　been　there　before。

〃No　wonder　they're　addicted　to　cold　baths；〃　I　replied。　　〃They　must　feel
perfectly　at　home　in　them；　especially　if　they　put　a　little　lampblack　in
the　water。〃

Maude　laughed。

〃You　grumpy　old　thing！〃　she　exclaimed。

Nothing　could　dampen　her　ardour；　not　the　sight　of　the　rain…soaked　stone
houses　when　we　got　ashore；　nor　even　the　frigid　luncheon　we　ate　in　the
lugubrious　hotel。　　For　her　it　was　all　quaint　and　new。　　Finally　we　found
ourselves　established　in　a　compartment　upholstered　in　light　grey；　with
tassels　and　arm…supporters；　on　the　window　of　which　was　pasted　a　poster
with　the　word　reserved　in　large；　red　letters。　　The　guard　inquired
respectfully；　as　the　porter　put　our　new　luggage　in　the　racks；　whether　we
had　everything　we　wanted。　　The　toy　locomotive　blew　its　toy　whistle；　and
we　were　off　for　the　north；　past　dingy；　yellow　tenements　of　the　smoking
factory　towns；　and　stretches　of　orderly；　hedge…spaced　rain…swept　country。
The　quaint　cottages　we　glimpsed；　the　sight　of　distant；　stately　mansions
on　green　slopes　caused　Maude　to　cry　out　with　rapture：

〃Oh；　Hugh；　there's　a　manor…house！〃

More　vivid　than　were　the　experiences　themselves　of　that　journey　are　the
memories　of　them。　　We　went　to　windswept；　Sabbath…keeping　Edinburgh；　to
high　Stirling　and　dark　Holyrood；　and　to　Abbotsford。　　It　was　through　Sir
Walter's　eyes　we　beheld　Melrose　bathed　in　autumn　light；　by　his　aid
repeopled　it　with　forgotten　monks　eating　their　fast…day　kale。

And　as　we　sat　reading　and　dreaming　in　the　still；　sunny　corners　I　forgot；
that　struggle　for　power　in　which　I　had　been　so　furiously　engaged　since
leaving　Cambridge。　　Legislatures；　politicians　and　capitalists　receded
into　a　dim　background；　and　the　gift　I　had　possessed；　in　youth；　of　living
in　a　realm　of　fancy　showed　astonishing　signs　of　revival。

〃Why；　Hugh；〃　Maude　exclaimed；　〃you　ought　to　have　been　a　writer！〃

〃You've　only　just　begun　to　fathom　my　talents；〃　I　replied　laughingly。
〃Did　you　think　you'd　married　just　a　dry　old　lawyer？〃

〃I　believe　you　capable　of　anything；〃　she　said。。。。

I　grew　more　and　more　to　depend　on　her　for　little　things。

She　was　a　born　housewife。　　It　was　pleasant　to　have　her　do　all　the
packing；　while　I　read　or　sauntered　in　the　queer　streets　about　the　inns。
And　she　took　complete　charge　of　my　wardrobe。

She　had　a　talent　for　drawing；　and　as　we　went　southward　through　England
she　made　sketches　of　the　various　houses　that　took　our　fancysuggestions
for　future　home…building；　we　spent　hours　in　the　evenings　in　the　inn
sitting…rooms　incorporating　new　features　into　our　residence；　continually
modifying　our　plans。　　Now　it　was　a　Tudor　house　that　carried　us　away；　now
a　Jacobean；　and　again　an　early　Georgian　with　enfolding　wings　and　a
wrought…iron　grill。　　A　stage　of　bewilderment　succeeded。

Maude；　I　knew；　loved　the　cottages　best。　　She　said　they　were　more
〃homelike。〃　　But　she　yielded　to　my　liking　for　grandeur。

〃My；　I　should　feel　lost　in　a　palace　like　that！〃　she　cried；　as　we　gazed　at
the　Marquis　of　So…and…So's　country…seat。

〃Well；　of　course　we　should　have　to　modify　it；〃　I　admitted。　　〃Perhaps
perhaps　our　family　will　be　larger。〃

She　put　her　hand　on　my　lips；　and　blushed　a　fiery　red。。。。

We　examined；　with　other　tourists；　at　a　shilling　apiece　historic　mansions
with　endless　drawing…ro