bachelors and deserted husbands。 One of the ironies of those days was
that the children began to suggest again possibilities of happiness I had
missedespecially Matthew。 With all his gentleness； the boy seemed to
have a precocious understanding of the verities； and the capacity for
suffering which as a child I had possessed。 But he had more self…
control。 Though he looked forward to the prospect of new scenes and
experiences with the anticipation natural to his temperament； I thought
he betrayed at moments a certain intuition as to what was going on。
〃When are you coming over； father？〃 he asked once。 〃How soon will your
business let you？〃
He had been brought up in the belief that my business was a tyrant。
〃Oh； soon； Matthew；sometime soon；〃 I said。
I had a feeling that he understood me； not intellectually； but
emotionally。 What a companion he might have been！。。。。 Moreton and Biddy
moved me less。 They were more robust； more normal； less introspective
and imaginative； Europe meant nothing to them； but they were frankly
delighted and excited at the prospect of going on the ocean； asking
dozens of questions about the great ship； impatient to embark。。。。。
〃I shan't need all that； Hugh；〃 Maude said； when I handed her a letter of
credit。 〃II intend to live quite simply； and my chief expenses will be
the children's education。 I am going to give them the best； of course。〃
〃Of course；〃 I replied。 〃But I want you to live over there as you have
been accustomed to live here。 It's not exactly generosity on my part；I
have enough； and more than enough。〃
She took the letter。
〃Another thingI'd rather you didn't go to New York with us； Hugh。 I
know you are busy〃
〃Of course I'm going；〃 I started to protest。
〃No；〃 she went on； firmly。 〃I'd rather you didn't。 The hotel people
will put me on the steamer very comfortably；and there are other reasons
why I do not wish it。〃 I did not insist。。。。 On the afternoon of her
departure； when I came uptown； I found her pinning some roses on her
jacket。
〃Perry and Lucia sent them；〃 she informed me。 She maintained the
friendly； impersonal manner to the very end； but my soul； as we drove to
the train； was full of un…probed wounds。 I had had roses put in her
compartments in the car； Tom and Susan Peters were there with more roses；
and little presents for the children。 Their cheerfulness seemed forced；
and I wondered whether they suspected that Maude's absence would be
prolonged。
〃Write us often； and tell us all about it； dear；〃 said Susan； as she sat
beside Maude and held her hand； Tom had Biddy on his knee。 Maude was
pale； but smiling and composed。
〃I hope to get a little villa in France； near the sea；〃 she said。 〃I'll
send you a photograph of it； Susan。〃
〃And Chickabiddy； when she comes back； will be rattling off French like a
native；〃 exclaimed Tom； giving her a hug。
〃I hate French；〃 said Biddy； and she looked at him solemnly。 〃I wish you
were coming along； Uncle Tom。〃
Bells resounded through the great station。 The porter warned us off。 I
kissed the children one by one； scarcely realizing what I was doing。 I
kissed Maude。 She received my embrace passively。
〃Good…bye； Hugh；〃 she said。
I alighted； and stood on the platform as the train pulled out。 The
children crowded to the windows； but Maude did not appear。。。。 I found
myself walking with Tom and Susan past hurrying travellers and porters to
the Decatur Street entrance； where my automobile stood waiting。
〃I'll take you home； Susan；〃 I said。
〃We're ever so much obliged； Hugh；〃 she answered； 〃but the street…cars go
almost to ferry's door。 We're dining there。〃
Her eyes were filled with tears； and she seemed taller； more ungainly
than everolder。 A sudden impression of her greatness of heart was
borne home to me； and I grasped the value of such rugged friendship as
hersas Tom's。
〃We shouldn't know how to behave in an automobile；〃 he said； as though to
soften her refusal。 And I stood watching their receding figures as they
walked out into the street and hailed the huge electric car that came to
a stop beyond them。 Above its windows was painted 〃The Ashuela Traction
Company；〃 a label reminiscent of my professional activities。 Then I
heard the chauffeur ask：
〃Where do you wish to go； sir？〃
〃To the Club；〃 I said。
My room was ready； my personal belongings； my clothes had been laid out；
my photographs were on the dressing…table。 I took up； mechanically； the
evening newspaper； but I could not read it； I thought of Maude； of the
children； memories flowed in upon me；a flood not to be dammed。。。。
Presently the club valet knocked at my door。 He had a dinner card。
〃Will you be dining here； sir？〃 he inquired。
I went downstairs。 Fred Grierson was the only man in the dining…room。
〃Hello； Hugh；〃 he said； 〃come and sit down。 I hear your wife's gone
abroad。〃
〃Yes；〃 I answered； 〃she thought she'd try it instead of the South Shore
this summer。〃
Perhaps I imagined that he looked at me queerly。 I had made a great deal
of money out of my association with Grierson； I had valued very highly
being an important member of the group to which he belonged； but to…
night； as I watched him eating and drinking greedily； I hated him even as
I hated myself。 And after dinner； when he started talking with a
ridicule that was a thinly disguised bitterness about the Citizens Union
and their preparations for a campaign I left him and went to bed。
Before a week had passed my painful emotions had largely subsided； and
with my accustomed resiliency I had regained the feeling of self…respect
so essential to my happiness。 I was free。 My only anxiety was for
Nancy； who had gone to New York the day after my last talk with her； and
it was only by telephoning to her house that I discovered when she was
expected to return。。。。 I found her sitting beside one of the open French
windows of her salon； gazing across at the wooded hills beyond the
Ashuela。 She was serious； a little pale； more exquisite； more desirable
than ever； but her manner implied the pressure of control； and her voice
was not quite steady as she greeted me。
〃You've been away a long time；〃 I said。
〃The dressmakers；〃 she answered。 Her colour rose a little。 〃I thought
they'd never get through。〃
〃But why didn't you drop me a line； let me know when you were coming？〃 I
asked； taking a chair beside her； and laying my hand on hers。 She drew
it gently away。
〃What's the matter？〃 I asked。
〃I've been thinking it all overwhat we're doing。 It doesn't seem
right； it seems terribly wrong。〃
〃But I thought we'd gone over all that；〃 I replied； as patiently as I
could。 〃You're putting it on an old…fashioned； moral basis。〃
〃But there must be same basis；〃 she urged。 〃There are responsibilities；
obligationsthere must be！that we can't get away from。 I can't help
feeling that we ought to stand by our mistakes； and by our bargains； we
made a choiceit's cheating； somehow； and if we take thiswhat we want…
…we shall be punished for it。〃
〃But I'm willing to be punished； to suffer； as I told you。 If you loved
me〃
〃Hugh！〃 she exclaimed； and I was silent。 〃You don't understand；〃 she
went on； a little breathlessly； 〃what I mean by punishment is
deterioration。 Do you remember once； long ago； when you came to me
before I was married； I said we'd both run after false gods； and that we
couldn't do without them？ Well； and now this has come； it seems so
wonderful to me； coming again like that after we had passed it by； after
we thought it had gone forever； it's opened up visions for me that I
never hoped to see again。 It ought to restore us； dearthat's what I'm
trying to sayto redeem us； to make us capable of being what we were
meant to be。 If it doesn't do that； if it isn't doing so； it's the most
horrible of travesties； of mockeries。 If we gain life only to
have it turn into deathslow death； if we go to pieces again； utterly。
For now there's hope。 The more I think； the more clearly I see that we
can't take any step without responsibilities。 If we take this； you'll
have me； and I'll have you。 And if we don't save each other〃
〃But we will；〃 I said。
〃Ah；〃 she exclaimed； 〃if we could start new； without any past。 I married
Ham with my eyes open。〃
〃You couldn't know that he would becomewell； as flagrant as he is。 You
didn't really know what he was then。〃
〃There's no reason why I shouldn't have anticipated it。 I can't claim
that I was deceived； that I thought my marriage was made in heaven。 I
entered into a contract； and Ham has kept his part of it fairly well。 He
hasn't interfered with my freedom。 That isn't putting it on a high
plane； but there is an obligation involved。 You yourself； in your law
practice； are always insisting upon the sacredness of contract as the
very basis of our civilization。〃
Here indeed would have been a home thrust； had I been vulnerable at the
time。 So intent was I on overcoming her objections； that I resorted
unwittingly to the modern argument I had more than once declared in court
to be anathema…the argument of the new reform in reference to the common
law and the constitution。
〃A contract； no matter how seriously entered into at the time it was
made； that later is seen to violate the principles of humanity should be
void。 And not only this； but you didn't consent that he should disgrace
you。〃
Nancy winced。
〃I never told you that he paid my father's debts； I never told anyone；〃
she said； in a low voice。
〃Even then；〃 I answered after a moment； 〃you ought to see that it's too
terrible a price to pay for your happiness。 And Ham hasn't ever
pretended to consider you in any way。 It's certain you didn't agree that
he should dowhat he is doing。〃
〃Suppose I admitted it；〃 she said； 〃there remain Maude and your children。
Their happiness； their future becomes my responsibility as well as
yours。〃
〃But I don't love Maude； and Maude doesn't love me。 I grant it's my
fault； that I did her a wrong in marrying her； but she is right in
leaving me。 I should be doing her a double wrong。 And the children will
be happy with her； they will be well brought up。 I； too； have