youth- 第6部分

believed　in　the　power　of　the　human　intellect；　or　am　I　more　so

now；　when　I　am　losing　the　faculty　of　developing　that　power；　and

am　in　doubt　both　as　to　its　potency　and　as　to　its　importance？〃　To

this　I　could　return　no　positive　answer。



The　sense　of　freedom；　combined　with　the　spring…like　feeling　of

vague　expectation　to　which　I　have　referred　already；　so　unsettled

me　that　I　could　not　keep　myself　in　handcould　make　none　but　the

sorriest　of　preparations　for　my　University　ordeal。　Thus　I　was

busy　in　the　schoolroom　one　morning；　and　fully　aware　that　I　must

work　hard；　seeing　that　to…morrow　was　the　day　of　my　examination　in

a　subject　of　which　I　had　the　two　whole　questions　still　to　read

up；　yet　no　sooner　had　a　breath　of　spring　come　wafted　through　the

window　than　I　felt　as　though　there　were　something　quite　different

that　I　wished　to　recall　to　my　memory。　My　hands　laid　down　my　book；

my　feet　began　to　move　of　themselves；　and　to　set　me　walking　up　and

down　the　room；　and　my　head　felt　as　though　some　one　had　suddenly

touched　in　it　a　little　spring　and　set　some　machine　in　motionso

easily　and　swiftly　and　naturally　did　all　sorts　of　pleasing

fancies　of　which　I　could　catch　no　more　than　the　radiancy　begin

coursing　through　it。　Thus　one　hour；　two　hours；　elapsed

unperceived。　Even　if　I　sat　down　determinedly　to　my　book；　and

managed　to　concentrate　my　whole　attention　upon　what　I　was

reading；　suddenly　there　would　sound　in　the　corridor　the　footsteps

of　a　woman　and　the　rustle　of　her　dress。　Instantly　everything

would　escape　my　mind；　and　I　would　find　it　impossible　to　remain

still　any　longer；　however　much　I　knew　that　the　woman　could　only

be　either　Gasha　or　my　grandmother's　old　sewing…maid　moving　about

in　the　corridor。　〃Yet　suppose　it　should　be　SHE　all　at　once？〃　I

would　say　to　myself。　〃Suppose　IT　is　beginning　now；　and　I　were　to

lose　it？〃　and；　darting　out　into　the　corridor；　I　would　find；　each

time；　that　it　was　only　Gasha。　Yet　for　long　enough　afterwards　I

could　not　recall　my　attention　to　my　studies。　A　little　spring　had

been　touched　in　my　head；　and　a　strange　mental　ferment　started

afresh。　Again；　that　evening　I　was　sitting　alone　beside　a　tallow

candle　in　my　room。　Suddenly　I　looked　up　for　a　momentto　snuff

the　candle；　or　to　straighten　myself　in　my　chairand　at　once

became　aware　of　nothing　but　the　darkness　in　the　corners　and　the

blank　of　the　open　doorway。　Then；　I　also　became　conscious　how　still

the　house　was；　and　felt　as　though　I　could　do　nothing　else　than　go

on　listening　to　that　stillness；　and　gazing　into　the　black　square

of　that　open　doorway；　and　gradually　sinking　into　a　brown　study　as

I　sat　there　without　moving。　At　intervals；　however；　I　would　get

up；　and　go　downstairs；　and　begin　wandering　through　the　empty

rooms。　Once　I　sat　a　long　while　in　the　small　drawing…room　as　I

listened　to　Gasha　playing　〃The　Nightingale〃　（with　two　fingers）　on

the　piano　in　the　large　drawing…room；　where　a　solitary　candle

burned。　Later；　when　the　moon　was　bright；　I　felt　obliged　to　get

out　of　bed　and　to　lean　out　of　the　window；　so　that　I　might　gaze

into　the　garden；　and　at　the　lighted　roof　of　the　Shaposnikoff

mansion；　the　straight　tower　of　our　parish　church；　and　the　dark

shadows　of　the　fence　and　the　lilac…bush　where　they　lay　black　upon

the　path。　So　long　did　I　remain　there　that；　when　I　at　length

returned　to　bed；　it　was　ten　o'clock　in　the　morning　before　I　could

open　my　eyes　again。



In　short；　had　it　not　been　for　the　tutors　who　came　to　give　me

lessons；　as　well　as　for　St。　Jerome　（who　at　intervals；　and　very

grudgingly；　applied　a　spur　to　my　self…conceit）　and；　most　of　all；

for　the　desire　to　figure　as　〃clever〃　in　the　eyes　of　my　friend

Nechludoff　（who　looked　upon　distinctions　in　University

examinations　as　a　matter　of　first…rate　importance）had　it　not

been　for　all　these　things；　I　say；　the　spring　and　my　new　freedom

would　have　combined　to　make　me　forget　everything　I　had　ever

learnt；　and　so　to　go　through　the　examinations　to　no　purpose

whatsoever。



X



THE　EXAMINATION　IN　HISTORY



ON　the　16th　of　April　I　entered；　for　the　first　time；　and　under　the

wing　of　St。　Jerome；　the　great　hall　of　the　University。　I　had

driven　there　with　St。　Jerome　in　our　smart　phaeton　and　wearing　the

first　frockcoat　of　my　life；　while　the　whole　of　my　other　clothes

even　down　to　my　socks　and　linenwere　new　and　of　a　grander　sort。

When　a　Swiss　waiter　relieved　me　of　my　greatcoat；　and　I　stood

before　him　in　all　the　beauty　of　my　attire；　I　felt　almost　sorry　to

dazzle　him　so。　Yet　I　had　no　sooner　entered　the　bright；　carpeted；

crowded　hall；　and　caught　sight　of　hundreds　of　other　young　men　in

gymnasium　＇The　Russian　gymnasium　=　the　English　grammar　or

secondary　school。＇　uniforms　or　frockcoats　（of　whom　but　a　few

threw　me　an　indifferent　glance）；　as　well　as；　at　the　far　end；　of

some　solemn…looking　professors　who　were　seated　on　chairs　or

walking　carelessly　about　among　some　tables；　than　I　at　once　became

disabused　of　the　notion　that　I　should　attract　the　general

attention；　while　the　expression　of　my　face；　which　at　home；　and

even　in　the　vestibule　of　the　University　buildings；　had　denoted

only　a　kind　of　vague　regret　that　I　should　have　to　present　so

important　and　distinguished　an　appearance；　became　exchanged　for

an　expression　of　the　most　acute　nervousness　and　dejection。

However；　I　soon　picked　up　again　when　I　perceived　sitting　at　one

of　the　desks　a　very　badly；　untidily　dressed　gentleman　who；

though　not　really　old；　was　almost　entirely　grey。　He　was　occupying

a　seat　quite　at　the　back　of　the　hall　and　a　little　apart　from　the

rest；　so　I　hastened　to　sit　down　beside　him；　and　then　fell　to

looking　at　the　candidates　for　examination；　and　to　forming

conclusions　about　them。　Many　different　figures　and　faces　were

there　to　be　seen　there；　yet；　in　my　opinion；　they　all　seemed　to

divide　themselves　into　three　classes。　First　of　all；　there　were

youths　like　myself；　attending　for　examination　in　the　company　of

their　parents　or　tutors。　Among　such　I　could　see　the　youngest　Iwin

（accompanied　by　Frost）　and　Ilinka　Grap　（accompanied　by　his　old

father）。　All　youths　of　this　class　wore　the　early　beginnings　of

beards；　sported　prominent　linen；　sat　quietly　in　their　places；　and

never　opened　the　books　and　notebooks　which　they　had　brought　with

them；　but　gazed　at　the　professors　and　examination　tables　with

ill…concealed　nervousness。　The　second　class　of　candidates　were

young　men　in　gymnasium　uniforms。　Several　of　them　had　attained　to

the　dignity　of　shaving；　and　most　of　them　knew　one　another。　They

talked　loudly；　called　the　professors　by　their　names　and　surnames；

occupied　themselves　in　getting　their　subjects　ready；　exchanged

notebooks；　climbed　over　desks；　fetched　themselves　pies　and

sandwiches　from　the　vestibule；　and　ate　them　then　and　there　merely

lowering　their　heads　to　the　level　of　a　desk　for　propriety's　sake。

Lastly；　the　third　class　of　candidates　（which　seemed　a　small　one）

consisted　of　oldish　mensome　of　them　in　frock　coats；　but　the

majority　in　jackets；　and　with　no　linen　to　be　seen。　These

preserved　a　serious　demeanour；　sat　by　themselves；　and　had　a　very

dingy　look。　The　man　who　had　afforded　me　consolation　by　being

worse　dressed　than　myself　belonged　to　this　class。　Leaning　forward

upon　his　elbows；　and　running　his　fingers　through　his　grey；

dishevelled　hair　as　he　read　some　book　or　another；　he　had　thrown

me　only　a　momentary　glanceand　that　not　a　very　friendly　one

from　a　pair　of　glittering　eyes。　Then；　as　I　sat　down；　he　had

frowned　grimly；　and　stuck　a　shiny　elbow　out　to　prevent　me　from

coming　any　nearer。　On　the　other　hand；　the　gymnasium　men　were

over…sociable；　and　I　felt　rather　afraid　of　their　proximity。　One

of　them　did　not　hesitate　to　thrust　a　book　into　my　hands；　saying；

〃Give　that　to　that　fellow　over　there；　will　you？〃　while　another

of　them　exclaimed　as　he　pushed　past　me；　〃By　your　leave；　young

fellow！〃　and　a　third　made　use　of　my　shoulder　as　a　prop　when　he

wanted　to　scramble　over　a　desk。　All　this　seemed　to　me　a　little

rough　and　unpleasant；　for　I　looked　upon　myself　as　immensely

superior　to　such　fellows；　and　considered　that　they　ought　not　to

treat　me　with　such　familiarity。　At　length；　the　names　began　to　be

called　out。　The　gymnasium　men　walked　out　boldly；　answered　their

questions　（apparently）　well；　and　came　back　looking　cheerful。　My

own　class　of　candidates　were　much　more　diffident；　as　well　as

appeared　to　answer　worse。　Of　the　oldish　men；　some　answered　well；

and　some　very　poorly。　When　the　name　〃Semenoff　〃　was　called　out　my

neighbour　with　the　grey　hair　and　glittering　eyes　jostled　me

roughly；　stepped　over　my　legs；　and　went　up　to　one　of　the

examiners'　tables。　It　was　plain　from　the　aspect　of　the　professors

that　he　answered　well　and　with　assurance；　yet；　on　returning　to

his　place；　he　did　not　wait　to　see　where　he　was　placed　on　the

list；　but　quietly　collected　his　notebooks　and　departed。　Several

times　I　shuddered　at　the　sound　of　the　voice　calling　out　the

names；　but　my　turn　did　not　come　in　exact　alphabetical　order；

though　already　names　had　begun　to　be　called　beginning　with　〃I。〃



〃Ikonin　and　Tenieff！〃　suddenly　shouted　some　one　from　the

professors'　end　of　the　hall。



〃Go　on；　Ikonin！　You　are　being　called；〃　said　a　tall；　red…faced

gymnasium　student　near　me。　　〃But　who　is　this　BARtenieff　or

MORtenieff　or　somebody？　I　don't　know　him。〃



〃It　must　be　you；〃　whispered　St。　Jerome　loudly　in　my　ear。



〃MY　name　is　IRtenieff；〃　I　said　to　the　red…faced　student。　〃Do　you

think　that　was　the　name　they　were　calling　out？〃



〃Yes。　Why　on　earth　don't　you　go　up？　〃　he　replied。　〃Lord；　what　a

dandy！〃　he　added　under　his　breath；　yet　not　so　quietly　but　that　I

failed　to　hear　the　words　as　they　came　wafted　to　me　from　below　the

desk。　In　front　of　me　walked　Ikonina　tall　young　man　of　about

twenty…five；　who　was　one　of　those　whom　I　had　classed　as　oldish

men。　He　wore　a　tight　brown　frockcoat　and　a　blue　satin　tie；　and

had　wisps　of　flaxen　hair　carefully　brushed　over　his　collar　in　the

peasant　style。　His　appearance　had　already　caugh