The¡¡Black¡¡Dwarf
by¡¡Walter¡¡Scott
CONTENTS¡£
I¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Tales¡¡of¡¡my¡¡Landlord
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Introduction¡¡by¡¡¡¨Jedediah¡¡Cleishbotham¡¨
II¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡Introduction¡¡to¡¡THE¡¡BLACK¡¡DWARF
III¡£¡¡¡¡Main¡¡text¡¡of¡¡THE¡¡BLACK¡¡DWARF
I¡£¡¡¡¡TALES¡¡OF¡¡MY¡¡LANDLORD
COLLECTED¡¡AND¡¡REPORTED¡¡BY¡¡JEDEDIAH¡¡CLEISHBOTHAM£»
SCHOOLMASTER¡¡AND¡¡PARISH¡CLERK¡¡OF¡¡GANDERCLEUGH¡£
INTRODUCTION¡£
As¡¡I¡¡may£»¡¡without¡¡vanity£»¡¡presume¡¡that¡¡the¡¡name¡¡and¡¡official¡¡description¡¡prefixed¡¡to¡¡this¡¡Proem¡¡will¡¡secure¡¡it£»¡¡from¡¡the¡¡sedate¡¡and¡¡reflecting¡¡part¡¡of¡¡mankind£»¡¡to¡¡whom¡¡only¡¡I¡¡would¡¡be¡¡understood¡¡to¡¡address¡¡myself£»¡¡such¡¡attention¡¡as¡¡is¡¡due¡¡to¡¡the¡¡sedulous¡¡instructor¡¡of¡¡youth£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡careful¡¡performer¡¡of¡¡my¡¡Sabbath¡¡duties£»¡¡I¡¡will¡¡forbear¡¡to¡¡hold¡¡up¡¡a¡¡candle¡¡to¡¡the¡¡daylight£»¡¡or¡¡to¡¡point¡¡out¡¡to¡¡the¡¡judicious¡¡those¡¡recommendations¡¡of¡¡my¡¡labours¡¡which¡¡they¡¡must¡¡necessarily¡¡anticipate¡¡from¡¡the¡¡perusal¡¡of¡¡the¡¡title¡page¡£¡¡¡¡Nevertheless£»¡¡I¡¡am¡¡not¡¡unaware£»¡¡that£»¡¡as¡¡Envy¡¡always¡¡dogs¡¡Merit¡¡at¡¡the¡¡heels£»¡¡there¡¡may¡¡be¡¡those¡¡who¡¡will¡¡whisper£»¡¡that¡¡albeit¡¡my¡¡learning¡¡and¡¡good¡¡principles¡¡cannot¡¡£¨lauded¡¡be¡¡the¡¡heavens£©¡¡be¡¡denied¡¡by¡¡any¡¡one£»¡¡yet¡¡that¡¡my¡¡situation¡¡at¡¡Gandercleugh¡¡hath¡¡been¡¡more¡¡favourable¡¡to¡¡my¡¡acquisitions¡¡in¡¡learning¡¡than¡¡to¡¡the¡¡enlargement¡¡of¡¡my¡¡views¡¡of¡¡the¡¡ways¡¡and¡¡works¡¡of¡¡the¡¡present¡¡generation¡£¡¡¡¡To¡¡the¡¡which¡¡objection£»¡¡if£»¡¡peradventure£»¡¡any¡¡such¡¡shall¡¡be¡¡started£»¡¡my¡¡answer¡¡shall¡¡be¡¡threefold£º
First£»¡¡Gandercleugh¡¡is£»¡¡as¡¡it¡¡were£»¡¡the¡¡central¡¡partthe¡¡navel¡¡£¨SI¡¡FAS¡¡SIT¡¡DICERE£©¡¡of¡¡this¡¡our¡¡native¡¡realm¡¡of¡¡Scotland£»¡¡so¡¡that¡¡men£»¡¡from¡¡every¡¡corner¡¡thereof£»¡¡when¡¡travelling¡¡on¡¡their¡¡concernments¡¡of¡¡business£»¡¡either¡¡towards¡¡our¡¡metropolis¡¡of¡¡law£»¡¡by¡¡which¡¡I¡¡mean¡¡Edinburgh£»¡¡or¡¡towards¡¡our¡¡metropolis¡¡and¡¡mart¡¡of¡¡gain£»¡¡whereby¡¡I¡¡insinuate¡¡Glasgow£»¡¡are¡¡frequently¡¡led¡¡to¡¡make¡¡Gandercleugh¡¡their¡¡abiding¡¡stage¡¡and¡¡place¡¡of¡¡rest¡¡for¡¡the¡¡night¡£¡¡And¡¡it¡¡must¡¡be¡¡acknowledged¡¡by¡¡the¡¡most¡¡sceptical£»¡¡that¡¡I£»¡¡who¡¡have¡¡sat¡¡in¡¡the¡¡leathern¡¡armchair£»¡¡on¡¡the¡¡left¡hand¡¡side¡¡of¡¡the¡¡fire£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡common¡¡room¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Wallace¡¡Inn£»¡¡winter¡¡and¡¡summer£»¡¡for¡¡every¡¡evening¡¡in¡¡my¡¡life£»¡¡during¡¡forty¡¡years¡¡bypast¡¡£¨the¡¡Christian¡¡Sabbaths¡¡only¡¡excepted£©£»¡¡must¡¡have¡¡seen¡¡more¡¡of¡¡the¡¡manners¡¡and¡¡customs¡¡of¡¡various¡¡tribes¡¡and¡¡people£»¡¡than¡¡if¡¡I¡¡had¡¡sought¡¡them¡¡out¡¡by¡¡my¡¡own¡¡painful¡¡travel¡¡and¡¡bodily¡¡labour¡£¡¡¡¡Even¡¡so¡¡doth¡¡the¡¡tollman¡¡at¡¡the¡¡well¡frequented¡¡turn¡pike¡¡on¡¡the¡¡Wellbraehead£»¡¡sitting¡¡at¡¡his¡¡ease¡¡in¡¡his¡¡own¡¡dwelling£»¡¡gather¡¡more¡¡receipt¡¡of¡¡custom£»¡¡than¡¡if£»¡¡moving¡¡forth¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡road£»¡¡he¡¡were¡¡to¡¡require¡¡a¡¡contribution¡¡from¡¡each¡¡person¡¡whom¡¡he¡¡chanced¡¡to¡¡meet¡¡in¡¡his¡¡journey£»¡¡when£»¡¡according¡¡to¡¡the¡¡vulgar¡¡adage£»¡¡he¡¡might¡¡possibly¡¡be¡¡greeted¡¡with¡¡more¡¡kicks¡¡than¡¡halfpence¡£
But£»¡¡secondly£»¡¡supposing¡¡it¡¡again¡¡urged£»¡¡that¡¡Ithacus£»¡¡the¡¡most¡¡wise¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Greeks£»¡¡acquired¡¡his¡¡renown£»¡¡as¡¡the¡¡Roman¡¡poet¡¡hath¡¡assured¡¡us£»¡¡by¡¡visiting¡¡states¡¡and¡¡men£»¡¡I¡¡reply¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Zoilus¡¡who¡¡shall¡¡adhere¡¡to¡¡this¡¡objection£»¡¡that£»¡¡DE¡¡FACTO£»¡¡I¡¡have¡¡seen¡¡states¡¡and¡¡men¡¡also£»¡¡for¡¡I¡¡have¡¡visited¡¡the¡¡famous¡¡cities¡¡of¡¡Edinburgh¡¡and¡¡Glasgow£»¡¡the¡¡former¡¡twice£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡latter¡¡three¡¡times£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡course¡¡of¡¡my¡¡earthly¡¡pilgrimage¡£¡¡¡¡And£»¡¡moreover£»¡¡I¡¡had¡¡the¡¡honour¡¡to¡¡sit¡¡in¡¡the¡¡General¡¡Assembly¡¡£¨meaning£»¡¡as¡¡an¡¡auditor£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡galleries¡¡thereof£©£»¡¡and¡¡have¡¡heard¡¡as¡¡much¡¡goodly¡¡speaking¡¡on¡¡the¡¡law¡¡of¡¡patronage£»¡¡as£»¡¡with¡¡the¡¡fructification¡¡thereof¡¡in¡¡mine¡¡own¡¡understanding£»¡¡hath¡¡made¡¡me¡¡be¡¡considered¡¡as¡¡an¡¡oracle¡¡upon¡¡that¡¡doctrine¡¡ever¡¡since¡¡my¡¡safe¡¡and¡¡happy¡¡return¡¡to¡¡Gandercleugh¡£
Againand¡¡thirdly£»¡¡If¡¡it¡¡be¡¡nevertheless¡¡pretended¡¡that¡¡my¡¡information¡¡and¡¡knowledge¡¡of¡¡mankind£»¡¡however¡¡extensive£»¡¡and¡¡however¡¡painfully¡¡acquired£»¡¡by¡¡constant¡¡domestic¡¡enquiry£»¡¡and¡¡by¡¡foreign¡¡travel£»¡¡is£»¡¡natheless£»¡¡incompetent¡¡to¡¡the¡¡task¡¡of¡¡recording¡¡the¡¡pleasant¡¡narratives¡¡of¡¡my¡¡Landlord£»¡¡I¡¡will¡¡let¡¡these¡¡critics¡¡know£»¡¡to¡¡their¡¡own¡¡eternal¡¡shame¡¡and¡¡confusion¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡to¡¡the¡¡abashment¡¡and¡¡discomfiture¡¡of¡¡all¡¡who¡¡shall¡¡rashly¡¡take¡¡up¡¡a¡¡song¡¡against¡¡me£»¡¡that¡¡I¡¡am¡¡NOT¡¡the¡¡writer£»¡¡redacter£»¡¡or¡¡compiler£»¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Tales¡¡of¡¡my¡¡Landlord£»¡¡nor¡¡am¡¡I£»¡¡in¡¡one¡¡single¡¡iota£»¡¡answerable¡¡for¡¡their¡¡contents£»¡¡more¡¡or¡¡less¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡now£»¡¡ye¡¡generation¡¡of¡¡critics£»¡¡who¡¡raise¡¡yourselves¡¡up¡¡as¡¡if¡¡it¡¡were¡¡brazen¡¡serpents£»¡¡to¡¡hiss¡¡with¡¡your¡¡tongues£»¡¡and¡¡to¡¡smite¡¡with¡¡your¡¡stings£»¡¡bow¡¡yourselves¡¡down¡¡to¡¡your¡¡native¡¡dust£»¡¡and¡¡acknowledge¡¡that¡¡yours¡¡have¡¡been¡¡the¡¡thoughts¡¡of¡¡ignorance£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡words¡¡of¡¡vain¡¡foolishness¡£¡¡¡¡Lo£¡¡¡ye¡¡are¡¡caught¡¡in¡¡your¡¡own¡¡snare£»¡¡and¡¡your¡¡own¡¡pit¡¡hath¡¡yawned¡¡for¡¡you¡£¡¡¡¡Turn£»¡¡then£»¡¡aside¡¡from¡¡the¡¡task¡¡that¡¡is¡¡too¡¡heavy¡¡for¡¡you£»¡¡destroy¡¡not¡¡your¡¡teeth¡¡by¡¡gnawing¡¡a¡¡file£»¡¡waste¡¡not¡¡your¡¡strength¡¡by¡¡spurning¡¡against¡¡a¡¡castle¡¡wall£»¡¡nor¡¡spend¡¡your¡¡breath¡¡in¡¡contending¡¡in¡¡swiftness¡¡with¡¡a¡¡fleet¡¡steed£»¡¡and¡¡let¡¡those¡¡weigh¡¡the¡¡Tales¡¡of¡¡my¡¡Landlord£»¡¡who¡¡shall¡¡bring¡¡with¡¡them¡¡the¡¡scales¡¡of¡¡candour¡¡cleansed¡¡from¡¡the¡¡rust¡¡of¡¡prejudice¡¡by¡¡the¡¡hands¡¡of¡¡intelligent¡¡modesty¡£¡¡¡¡For¡¡these¡¡alone¡¡they¡¡were¡¡compiled£»¡¡as¡¡will¡¡appear¡¡from¡¡a¡¡brief¡¡narrative¡¡which¡¡my¡¡zeal¡¡for¡¡truth¡¡compelled¡¡me¡¡to¡¡make¡¡supplementary¡¡to¡¡the¡¡present¡¡Proem¡£
It¡¡is¡¡well¡¡known¡¡that¡¡my¡¡Landlord¡¡was¡¡a¡¡pleasing¡¡and¡¡a¡¡facetious¡¡man£»¡¡acceptable¡¡unto¡¡all¡¡the¡¡parish¡¡of¡¡Gandercleugh£»¡¡excepting¡¡only¡¡the¡¡Laird£»¡¡the¡¡Exciseman£»¡¡and¡¡those¡¡for¡¡whom¡¡he¡¡refused¡¡to¡¡draw¡¡liquor¡¡upon¡¡trust¡£¡¡¡¡Their¡¡causes¡¡of¡¡dislike¡¡I¡¡will¡¡touch¡¡separately£»¡¡adding¡¡my¡¡own¡¡refutation¡¡thereof¡£
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Again£»¡¡the¡¡Exciseman¡¡pretended£»¡¡that¡¡my¡¡deceased¡¡Landlord¡¡did¡¡encourage¡¡that¡¡species¡¡of¡¡manufacture¡¡called¡¡distillation£»¡¡without¡¡having¡¡an¡¡especial¡¡permission¡¡from¡¡the¡¡Great£»¡¡technically¡¡called¡¡a¡¡license£»¡¡for¡¡doing¡¡so¡£¡¡¡¡Now£»¡¡I¡¡stand¡¡up¡¡to¡¡confront¡¡this¡¡falsehood£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡defiance¡¡of¡¡him£»¡¡his¡¡gauging¡stick£»¡¡and¡¡pen¡¡and¡¡inkhorn£»¡¡I¡¡tell¡¡him£»¡¡that¡¡I¡¡never¡¡saw£»¡¡or¡¡tasted£»¡¡a¡¡glass¡¡of¡¡unlawful¡¡aqua¡¡vitae¡¡in¡¡the¡¡house¡¡of¡¡my¡¡Landlord£»¡¡nay£»¡¡that£»¡¡on¡¡the¡¡contrary£»¡¡we¡¡needed¡¡not¡¡such¡¡devices£»¡¡in¡¡respect¡¡of¡¡a¡¡pleasing¡¡and¡¡somewhat¡¡seductive¡¡liquor£»¡¡which¡¡was¡¡vended¡¡and¡¡consumed¡¡at¡¡the¡¡Wallace¡¡Inn£»¡¡under¡¡the¡¡name¡¡of¡¡MOUNTAIN¡¡DEW¡£¡¡¡¡If¡¡there¡¡is¡¡a¡¡penalty¡¡against¡¡manufacturing¡¡such¡¡a¡¡liquor£»¡¡let¡¡him¡¡show¡¡me¡¡the¡¡statute£»¡¡and¡¡when¡¡he¡¡does£»¡¡I'll¡¡tell¡¡him¡¡if¡¡I¡¡will¡¡obey¡¡it¡¡or¡¡no¡£
Concerning¡¡those¡¡who¡¡came¡¡to¡¡my¡¡Landlord¡¡for¡¡liquor£»¡¡and¡¡went¡¡thirsty¡¡away£»¡¡for¡¡lack¡¡of¡¡present¡¡coin£»¡¡or¡¡future¡¡credit£»¡¡I¡¡cannot¡¡but¡¡say¡¡it¡¡has¡¡grieved¡¡my¡¡bowels¡¡as¡¡if¡¡the¡¡case¡¡had¡¡been¡¡mine¡¡own¡£¡¡¡¡Nevertheless£»¡¡my¡¡Landlord¡¡considered¡¡the¡¡necessities¡¡of¡¡a¡¡thirsty¡¡soul£»¡¡and¡¡would¡¡permit¡¡them£»¡¡in¡¡extreme¡¡need£»¡¡and¡¡when¡¡their¡¡soul¡¡was¡¡impoverished¡¡for¡¡lack¡¡of¡¡moisture£»¡¡to¡¡drink¡¡to¡¡the¡¡full¡¡value¡¡of¡¡their¡¡watches¡¡and¡¡wearing¡¡apparel£»¡¡exclusively¡¡of¡¡their¡¡inferior¡¡habiliments£»¡¡which¡¡he¡¡was¡¡uniformly¡¡inexorable¡¡in¡¡obliging¡¡them¡¡to¡¡retain£»¡¡for¡¡the¡¡credit¡¡of¡¡the¡¡house¡£¡¡¡¡As¡¡to¡¡mine¡¡own¡¡part£»¡¡I¡¡may¡¡well¡¡say£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡never¡¡refused¡¡me¡¡that¡¡modicum¡¡of¡¡refreshment¡¡with¡¡which¡¡I¡¡am¡¡wont¡¡to¡¡recruit¡¡nature¡¡after¡¡the¡¡fatigues¡¡of¡¡my¡¡school¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡true£»¡¡I¡¡taught¡¡his¡¡five¡¡sons¡¡English¡¡and¡¡Latin£»¡¡writing£»¡¡book¡keeping£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡tincture¡¡of¡¡mathematics£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡I¡¡instructed¡¡his¡¡daughter¡¡in¡¡psalmody¡£¡¡¡¡Nor¡¡do¡¡I¡¡remember¡¡me¡¡of¡¡any¡¡fee¡¡or¡¡HONORARIUM¡¡received¡¡from¡¡him¡¡on¡¡account¡¡of¡¡these¡¡my¡¡labours£»¡¡except¡¡the¡¡compotations¡¡aforesaid¡£¡¡¡¡Nevertheless¡¡this¡¡compensation¡¡suited¡¡my¡¡humour¡¡well£»¡¡since¡¡it¡¡is¡¡a¡¡hard¡¡sentence¡¡to¡¡bid¡¡a¡¡dry¡¡throat¡¡wait¡¡till¡¡quarter¡day¡£
But£»¡¡truly£»¡¡were¡¡I¡¡to¡¡speak¡¡my¡¡simple¡¡conceit¡¡and¡¡belief£»¡¡I¡¡think¡¡my¡¡Landlord¡¡was¡¡chiefly¡¡moved¡¡to¡¡waive¡¡in¡¡my¡¡behalf¡¡the¡¡usual¡¡requisition¡¡of¡¡a¡¡symbol£»¡¡or¡¡reckoning£»¡¡from¡¡the¡¡pleasure¡¡he¡¡was¡¡wont¡¡to¡¡take¡¡in¡¡my¡¡conversation£»¡¡which£»¡¡though¡¡solid¡¡and¡¡edifying¡¡in¡¡the¡¡main£»¡¡was£»¡¡like¡¡a¡¡well¡built¡¡palace£»¡¡decorated¡¡with¡¡facetious¡¡narratives¡¡and¡¡devices£»¡¡tending¡¡much¡¡to¡¡the¡¡enhancement¡¡and¡¡ornament¡¡thereof¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡so¡¡pleased¡¡was¡¡my¡¡Landlord¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Wallace¡¡in¡¡his¡¡replies¡¡during¡¡such¡¡colloquies£»¡¡that¡¡there¡¡was¡¡no¡¡district¡¡in¡¡Scotland£»¡¡yea£»¡¡and¡¡no¡¡peculiar£»¡¡and£»¡¡as¡¡it¡¡were£»¡¡distinctive¡¡custom¡¡therein¡¡practised£»¡¡but¡¡was¡¡discussed¡¡betwixt¡¡us£»¡¡insomuch£»¡¡that¡¡those¡¡who¡¡stood¡¡by¡¡were¡¡wont¡¡to¡¡say£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡worth¡¡a¡¡bottle¡¡of¡¡ale¡¡to¡¡hear¡¡us¡¡communicate¡¡with¡¡each¡¡other¡£¡¡And¡¡not¡¡a¡¡few¡¡travellers£»¡¡from¡¡distant¡¡parts£»¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡from¡¡the¡¡remote¡¡districts¡¡of¡¡our¡¡kingdom£»¡¡were¡¡wont¡¡to¡¡mingle¡¡in¡¡the¡¡conversation£»¡¡and¡¡to¡¡tell¡¡news¡¡that¡¡had¡¡been¡¡gathered¡¡in¡¡foreign¡¡lands£»¡¡or¡¡preserved¡¡from¡¡oblivion¡¡in¡¡this¡¡our¡¡own¡£
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