hemingway, ernest - garden of eden- 第15部分

〃I'm　not　making　fun　of　you。〃

〃I　don't　know　how　I　could　be　so　stupid；〃　the　girl　said。　She　means　mistaken　David　thought　and　Catherine　thought　it　too。


That　night　in　bed　Catherine　said；　〃I　never　should　have　let　you　in　for　any　of　it。　Not　for　any　part　of　it。〃

〃I　wish　we'd　never　seen　her。〃

〃It　might　have　been　something　worse。　Maybe　to　go　through　with　it　and　get　rid　of　it　that　way　is　best。〃

〃You　could　send　her　away。

〃I　don't　think　that's　the　way　to　clear　it　now。　Doesn't　she　do　anything　to　you？〃
〃Oh　sure。〃
〃I　knew　she　did。　But　I　love　you　and　all　this　is　nothing。　You　know　it　is　too。〃
〃I　don't　know　about　it；　Devil。〃
'Well　we　won't　be　solemn。　I　can　already　tell　it's　death　if　you're　solemn。〃
Chapter　Twelve

IT　WAS　THE　THIRD　DAY　of　the　wind　but　it　was　not　as　heavy　now　and　he　sat　at　the　table　and　read　the　story　over　from　the　start　to　where　he　had　left　off；　correcting　as　he　read。　He　went　on　with　the　story；　living　in　it　and　nowhere　else；　and　when　he　heard　the　voices　of　the　two　girls　outside　he　did　not　listen。　When　they　went　by　the　window　he　lifted　his　hand　and　waved。　They　waved　and　the　dark　girl　smiled　and　Catherine　put　her　fingers　to　her　lips。　The　girl　looked　very　pretty　in　the　morning；　her　face　shining　and　her　color　high。　Catherine　was　beautiful　as　always。　He　heard　the　car　start　and　noted　it　was　the　Bugatti。　He　went　back　into　the　story。　It　was　a　good　story　and　he　finished　it　shortly　before　noon。

It　was　too　late　to　have　breakfast　and　he　was　tired　after　working　and　did　not　want　to　drive　the　old　Isotta　into　town　with　its　bad　brakes　and　huge　malfunctioning　motor　although　the　key　was　with　a　note　Catherine　had　left　saying　they　had　gone　to　Nice　and　would　look　in　at　the　cafe　for　him　on　their　way　home。

What　I　would　like；　he　thought；　is　a　tall　cold　liter　of　beer　in　a　thick　heavy　glass　and　a　pomme　l'huile　with　coarse　ground




peppercorns　on　it。　But　the　beer　on　this　coast　was　worthless　and　he　thought　happily　of　Paris　and　other　places　he　had　been　and　was　pleased　he　had　written　something　he　knew　was　good　and　that　he　had　finished　it。　This　was　the　first　writing　he　had　finished　since　they　were　married。　Finishing　is　what　you　have　to　do；　he　thought。　If　you　don't　finish；　nothing　is　worth　a　damn。　Tomorrow　I'll　pick　up　the　narrative　where　I　left　it　and　keep　right　on　until　I　finish　it。　And　how　are　you　going　to　finish　it？　How　are　you　going　to　finish　it　now？

As　soon　as　he　started　to　think　beyond　his　work；　everything　that　he　had　locked　out　by　the　work　came　back　to　him。　He　thought　of　the　night　before　and　of　Catherine　and　the　girl　today　on　the　road　that　he　and　Catherine　had　driven　two　days　before　and　he　felt　sick。　They　should　be　on　the　way　back　now。　It's　after　noon。　Maybe　they're　at　the　cafe。　Don't　be　solemn；　she　had　said。　But　she　meant　something　else　too。　Maybe　she　knows　what　she's　doing。　Maybe　she　knows　how　it　can　turn　out。　Maybe　she　does　know。　You　don't。

So　you　worked　and　now　you　worry。　You'd　better　write　another　story。　Write　the　hardest　one　there　is　to　write　that　you　know。　Go　ahead　and　do　that。　You　have　to　last　yourself　if　you're　to　be　any　good　to　her。　What　good　have　you　been　to　her？　Plenty；　he　said。　No；　not　plenty。　Plenty　means　enough。　Go　ahead　and　start　the　new　one　tomorrow。　The　hell　with　tomorrow。　What　a　way　to　be。　Tomorrow。　Go　in　and　start　it　now。

He　put　the　note　and　the　key　in　his　pocket　and　went　back　into　the　work　room　and　sat　down　and　wrote　the　first　paragraph　of　the　new　story　that　he　had　always　put　off　writing　since　he　had　known　what　a　story　was。　He　wrote　it　in　simple　declarative　sentences　with　all　of　the　problems　ahead　to　be　lived　through　and　made　to　come　alive。　The　very　beginning　was　written　and　all　he　had　to　do　was　go　on。　That's　all；　he　said。　You　see　how　simple　what　you　cannot　do　is？　Then　he　came　out　onto　the　terrace　and　sat　down　and　ordered　a　whiskey　and　Perrier。

io8

The　proprietor's　young　nephew　brought　the　bottles　and　ice　and　a　glass　from　the　bar　and　said；　〃Monsieur　had　no　breakfast。〃

〃I　worked　too　long。〃

〃C'est　dommage；〃　the　boy　said。　〃Can　I　bring　anything？　A　sandwich？〃

〃In　our　storeroom　you　will　find　a　tin　of　Maquereau　Vin　Blanc　Capitaine　Cook。　Open　it　up　and　bring　me　two　on　a　plate。〃

〃They　won't　be　cold。〃

〃It　makes　no　difference。　Bring　them。〃

He　sat　and　ate　the　maquereau　yin　blanc　and　drank　the　whiskey　and　mineral　water。　It　did　make　a　difference　that　they　were　not　cold。　He　read　the　morning　paper　while　he　ate。

We　always　ate　fresh　fish　at　le　Grau　du　Roi；　he　thought；　but　that　was　a　long　time　ago。　He　started　to　remember　Grau　du　Roi　and　then　he　heard　the　car　coming　up　the　hill。

〃Take　this　away；〃　he　said　to　the　boy　and　he　stood　up　and　walked　into　the　bar　and　poured　himself　a　whiskey；　put　ice　in　it　and　filled　the　glass　with　Perrier。　The　taste　of　the　wine…spiced　fish　was　in　his　mouth　and　he　picked　up　the　bottle　of　mineral　water　and　drank　from　it。

He　heard　their　voices　and　then　they　came　in　the　door　as　happy　and　gay　as　yesterday。　He　saw　Catherine's　birch　bright　head　and　her　dark　face　loving　and　excited　and　the　other　girl　dark；　the　wind　still　in　her　hair；　her　eyes　very　bright　and　then　suddenly　shy　again　as　she　came　closer。

〃VVe　didn't　stop　when　we　saw　you　weren't　at　the　cafe；〃　Catherine　said。

〃I　worked　late。　How　are　you；　Devil？〃

〃I'm　very　well。　Don't　ask　me　how　this　one　is。

〃Did　you　work　well；　David？〃　the　girl　asked。

'That's　being　a　good　wife；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　forgot　to　ask。〃

'What　did　you　do　in　Nice？〃

〃Can　we　have　a　drink　and　then　tell？〃

They　were　close　to　him　on　each　side　and　he　felt　them　both。

〃Did　you　work　well；　David？〃　she　asked　again。

〃Of　course　he　did；〃　Catherine　said。　〃That's　the　only　way　he　ever　works；　stupid。〃

〃Did　you；　David？〃

〃Yes；〃　he　said　and　rumpled　her　head。　〃Thanks。〃

〃Don't　we　get　a　drink？〃　Catherine　asked。　〃We　didn't　work　at　all。　We　just　bought　things　and　ordered　things　and　made　scandal。〃

〃We　didn't　make　any　real　scandal。〃

〃I　don't　know；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　don't　care　either。〃

〃What　was　the　scandal？〃　David　asked。

〃It　wasn't　anything；〃　the　girl　said。

〃I　didn't　mind　it；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　liked　it。〃

〃Someone　said　something　about　her　slacks　in　Nice。〃

〃That's　not　a　scandal；〃　David　said。　〃It's　a　big　town。　You　had　to　expect　that　if　you　went　there。〃

〃Do　I　look　any　different？〃　Catherine　asked。　〃I　wish　they'd　brought　the　mirror。　Do　I　look　any　different　to　you？〃

〃No。〃　David　looked　at　her。　She　looked　very　blond　and　disheveled　and　darker　than　ever　and　very　excited　and　defiant。

〃That's　good；〃　she　said。　〃Because　I　tried　it。〃

〃You　didn't　do　anything；〃　the　girl　said。

〃I　did　and　I　liked　it　and　I　want　another　drink。〃

〃She　didn't　do　anything；　David；〃　the　girl　said。

〃This　morning　I　stopped　the　car　on　the　long　clear　stretch　and　kissed　her　and　she　kissed　me　and　on　the　way　back　from　Nice　too　and　when　we　got　out　of　the　car　just　now。〃　Catherine　looked　at　him　lovingly　but　rebelliously　and　then　said；　〃It　was　fun　and　I　liked　it。　You　kiss　her　too。　The　boy's　not　here。〃

David　turned　to　the　girl　and　she　clung　to　him　suddenly　and　they　kissed。　He　had　not　meant　to　kiss　her　and　he　had　not　known　it　would　be　like　this　when　he　did　it。

〃That's　enough；〃　Catherine　said。

〃How　are　you？〃　David　said　to　the　girl。　She　was　shy　and　happy　again。
〃I'm　happy　the　way　you　said　to　be；〃　the　girl　told　him。
〃Everybody　is　happy　now；〃　Catherine　said。　〃We've　shared　all　the　guilt。〃
They　had　a　very　good　lunch　and　drank　cold　Tavel　through　the　hors　d'oeuvres；　the　poulet　and　the　ratatouille；　the　salad　and　the　fruit　and　cheese。　They　were　all　hungry　and　they　made　jokes　and　no　one　was　solemn。
〃There's　a　terrific　surprise　for　dinner　or　before；〃　Catherine　said。　〃She　spends　money　like　a　drunken　oil…lease　Indian；　David。〃
〃Are　they　nice？〃　the　girl　asked。　〃Or　are　they　like　Maharajas？〃
〃David　will　tell　you　about　them。　He　comes　from　Oklahoma。〃
〃I　thought　he　came　from　East　Africa。〃
〃No。　Some　of　his　ancestors　escaped　from　Oklahoma　and　took　him　to　East　Africa　when　he　was　very　young。
〃It　must　have　been　very　exciting。〃
〃He　wrote　a　novel　about　being　in　East　Africa　when　he　was　a　boy。〃
〃I　know。〃
〃You　read　it？〃　David　asked　her。
〃I　did；〃　she　said。　〃Do　you　want　to　ask　me　about　it？〃
〃No；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　familiar　with　it。〃
〃It　made　me　cry；〃　the　girl　said。　〃Was　that　your　father　in　it？〃
〃Some　ways。

〃You　must　have　loved　him　very　much。〃
〃I　did。〃
〃You　never　talked　to　me　about　him；〃　Catherine　said。
〃You　never　asked　me。〃　〃Would　you　have？〃　〃No；〃　he　said。
〃I　loved　the　book；〃　the　girl　said。　〃Don't　overreach；〃　Catherine　said。
〃I　wasn't。〃

〃When　you　kissed　him&mdash；〃
〃You　asked　me　to。〃


〃What　I　wanted　to　say　when　you　interrupted；〃　Catherine　said；　〃was　did　you　think　of　him　as　a　writer　when　you　kissed　him　and　liked　it　so　much？〃
David　poured　a　glass　of　Tavel　and　drank　some　of　it。
〃I　don't　know；〃　the　girl　said。　〃I　didn't　think。〃
〃I'm　glad；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　was　afraid　it　was　going　to　be　like　the　clippings。〃
The　girl　looked　really　mystified　and　Catherine　explained；　〃The　press　cuttings　about　the　second　book。　He's　written　two　you
know。〃

〃I　only　read　The　Rift。〃
〃The　second　one　is　about　flying。　In　the　war。　It's　the　only　good　thing　anyone　ever　wrote　about　flying。〃
〃Balls；〃　David　said。
〃Wait　until　you　read　it；〃　Catherine　said。　〃It's　a　book　you　had　to　die　to　write　and　you　had　to　be　completely　destroyed。　Don't　ever　think　I　don't　know　about　his　books　just　because　I　don't　think　he's　a　vvriter　when　I　kiss　him。〃
〃I　think　we　ought　to　take　a　siesta；〃　David　said。　〃You　ought　to　take　a　nap；　Devil。　You're　tired。〃
〃I　talked　too　much；〃　Catherine　said。　〃It　was　a　nice　lunch　and　I'm　sorry　if　I　talked　too　much　and　boasted。〃
〃I　loved　you　when　you　talked　about　the　books；〃　the　girl　said。　〃You　were　admirable。〃
〃I　don't　feel　admirable。　I　am　tired；〃　Catherine　said。　〃Have　you　plenty　to　read；　Marita？〃
〃I　have　two　books　still；〃　the　girl　said。　〃Later　I'll　borrow　some　if　I　may。
〃May　I　come　in　to　see　you　later？〃
〃If　you　want；〃　the　girl　said。
David　did　not　look　at　the　girl　and　she　did　not　look　at　him。
〃I　won't　disturb　you？〃　Catherine　said。
〃Nothing　that　I　do　is　important；〃　the　girl　said。

Catherine　and　David　lay　side　by　side　on　the　bed　in　their　room　with　the　wind　blowing　its　last　day　outside　and　it　was　not　like　siesta　in　the　old　days。

〃Can　I　tell　you　now？〃

〃I'd　r