o see the elephant as he had moved and then had been able to see what the elephant had seen。 He had not gotten the great width of the one elephant trail that was a perfect road through the forest nor the worn smooth rubbing trees nor the way other trails intersected so that they were like the map of the Metro in Paris。 He had not made the light in the forest where the trees came together at their tops and he had not clarified certain things that he must make as they were then； not as he recalled them now。 The distances did not matter since all dis tances changed and how you remembered them was how they were。 But his change of feeling toward Juma and toward his father and toward the elephant was complicated by the exhaustion that had bred it。 Tiredness brought the beginning of under standing。 The understanding was beginning and he was realizing it as he wrote。 But the dreadful true understanding was all to come and he must not show it by arbitrary statements of rhetoric but by remembering the actual things that had brought it。 Tomorrow he would get the things right and then go on。
He put the cahiers of manuscript away in the suitcase and
locked it and came out the door of his room and walked along the front of the hotel to where Marita was reading。
〃Do you want breakfast？〃 she asked。
〃I think I'd like a drink。〃
〃Let's have it at the bar；〃 she said。 〃It's cooler。〃
They went in and sat down on stools and David poured from the Haig Pinch bottle into a glass and filled it up with cold Perrier。
〃What became of Catherine？〃
〃She left very happy and gay。
〃And how are you？〃
〃Happy and shy and rather quiet。〃
〃Too shy for me to kiss you？〃
They held each other and he could feel himself start to be whole again。 He had not known just how greatly he had been divided and separated because once he started to work he wrote from an inner core which could not be split nor even marked nor scratched。 He knew about this and it was his strength since all the rest of him could be riven。
They sat at the bar while the boy laid the table and the first coolness of fall was in the breeze from the sea and then sitting at the table under the pines they felt it again as they ate and drank。
〃This cool breeze comes all the way from Kurdistan；〃 David said。 〃The equinoctial storms will be coming soon。〃
〃They won't come today；〃 the girl said。 〃We don't have to worry about them today。〃
〃There hasn't been a blow of any kind since when we met in Cannes at the cafe。〃
〃Can you still remember things that long ago？〃
〃It seems further away than the war。〃
〃I had the war the last three days；〃 the girl said。 〃I just left it this morning。〃
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。 。
〃I never think about it；〃 David said。
〃Now I've read it；〃 Marita told him； 〃but I don't understand about you。 You never made clear what you believed。〃
He filled her glass and then refilled his own。
〃I didn't know until afterwards；〃 he said。 〃So I didn't try to act as though I did。 I suspended thinking about it while it was happening。 I only felt and saw and acted and thought tactically。 That's why it's not a better book。 Because I wasn't more intelligent。〃
〃It is a very good book。 The flying parts are wonderful and the feeling for the other people and for the planes themselves。〃
〃I'm good on other people and on technical and tactical things；〃 David said。 〃I don't mean to talk wet or to brag。 But； Marita； nobody knows about himself when he is really involved。 Yourself isn't worth considering。 It would be shameful at the time。〃
〃But afterwards you know。〃
〃Sure。 Sometimes。〃
〃Can I read the narrative？〃
David poured wine in the glasses again。
〃How much did she tell you？〃
〃She said she told me everything。 She tells things very well you know。〃
〃I'd rather you didn't read it；〃 David said。 〃All it would do is make trouble。 I didn't know there would be you when I wrote it and I can't help her telling you things but I don't have to have you read about them too。〃
〃Then I mustn't read it？〃
〃I wish you wouldn't。 I don't want to give you orders。〃
〃Then I have to tell you；〃 the girl said。
〃She let you read it？〃
〃Yes。 She said I should。〃
〃God damn her。〃
〃She didn't do it to do wrong。 It was when she was so worried。〃
〃So you read it all？〃
〃Yes。 It's wonderful。 It's so much better than the last book and now the stories are so much better than it or than anything。〃
〃What about the Madrid part？〃 He looked at her and she looked up at him and then moistened her lips and did not look away and she said very carefully； 〃I knew all about that because I'm just the way you are。
When they were lying together Marita said； 〃You don't think about her when you make love to me？〃
〃No； stupid。〃
〃You don't want me to do her things？ Because I know them all and I can do them。〃
〃Stop talking and just feel。〃
〃I can do them better than she can。〃
〃Stop talking。〃
〃Don't think you have to&mdash；〃
〃Don't talk。〃
〃But you don't have to&mdash；〃
〃No one has to but we are&mdash；〃
They lay holding each other close and hard and then gently finally and Marita said； 〃I have to go away but I'll be back。 Please sleep for me。〃
She kissed him and when she came back he was asleep。 He had meant to wait for her but he had fallen asleep while he waited。 She lay down by him and kissed him and when he did not wake she lay by him very quietly and tried to sleep too。 But she was not sleepy and she kissed him very softly again and then commenced to play with him very gently while she pushed her breasts against him。 He stirred in his sleep and she lay now with her head down below his chest and played softly and searchingly making small intimacies and discoveries。
It was a long cool afternoon and David slept and when he
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woke Marita was gone and he heard the two girls' voices on the terrace。 He dressed and unbolted the door to his working room and then came out from the door of that room onto the flagstones。 There was no one on the terrace except the waiter who was taking in the tea things and he found the girls in the bar。
Chapter Twenty…three
THE TWO GIRLS were both sitting at the bar with a bottle of Perrier…Jouet in a bucket with ice and they both looked fresh and lovely。 〃It's just like meeting an ex…husband；〃 Catherine said。 〃It makes me feel very sophisticated。〃 She had never looked gayer or more lovely。 〃I must say it agrees with you。〃 She looked at David in mock appraisal。 〃Do you think he's all right？〃 Marita said。 She looked at David and blushed。 〃And well you might blush；〃 Catherine said。 〃Look at her； David。〃 〃She looks very well；〃 David said。 〃So do you。〃 〃She looks about sixteen；〃 Catherine said。 〃She said she told you about reading the narrative。 〃I think you should have asked me；〃 David said。 〃I know I should；〃 Catherine said。 〃But I started to read it for myself and then it was so interesting I thought Heiress ought
to read it too。
〃I'd have said no。〃
。 。
〃But the point is；〃 Catherine said； 〃if he ever says no about anything； Marita； just keep right on。 It doesn't mean a thing。〃
〃I don't believe it；〃 Marita said。 She smiled at David。
〃That's because he hasn't written the narrative up to date。 When he does you'll find out。〃
〃I'm through with the narrative；〃 David said。
〃That's dirty；〃 Catherine said。 〃That was my present and our project。〃
〃You must write it； David；〃 the girl said。 〃You will won't you？〃
〃She wants to be in it； David；〃 Catherine said。 〃And it will be so much better when you have a dark girl too。〃
David poured himself a glass of the champagne。 He saw Marita look at him； a warning； and he said to Catherine； 〃I'll go on with it when I finish the stories。 What did you do with your day？〃
〃I had a fine day。 I made decisions and planned things。〃
〃Oh God；〃 David said。
〃They're all straightforward plans；〃 Catherine said。 〃You don't have to groan about them。 You've been doing just whatever you wanted to do all day and I was pleased。 But I have a right to make a few plans。〃
〃What sort of plans？〃 David asked。 His voice sounded very flat。
〃First we have to start seeing about getting the book out。 I'm going to have to have the manuscript typed up to where it is now and see about getting illustrations。 I have to see the artists and make the arrangements。〃
〃You've had a very busy day；〃 David said。 〃You know； don't you； that you don't get manuscripts typed until whoever writes them has gone over them and has them ready for typing？〃
〃That isn't necessary because I only need a rough draft to show the artists。〃
〃I see。 And if I don't want it copied yet？〃
〃Don't you want it brought out？ I do。 And someone has to get started on something practical。〃
〃Who are the artists you thought up today？〃
〃Different ones for different parts。 Marie Laurencin； Pascen； Derain； Dufy and Picasso。〃
〃For Christ sake； Derain。〃
〃Can't you see a nice Laurencin of Marita and me in the car when we stopped the first time by the Loup on the way to Nice？〃
〃Nobody's written that。〃
〃Well write it then。 It's certainly much more interesting and instructive than a lot of natives in a kraal or whatever you call it covered with flies and scabs in Central Africa with your drunken father staggering around smelling of sour beer and not knowing which ones of the little horrors he had fathered。〃
〃There goes the ball game；〃 David said。
〃What did you say； David？〃 Marita said。
〃I said thank you very much for having lunch with me； David told her。
〃Why don't you thank her for the rest of it？〃 Catherine said。 〃She really must have done something impressive to make you sleep as though you were dead until the absolute end of the afternoon。 Thank her for that at least。〃
〃Thank you for going swimming；〃 David said to the girl。
〃Oh did you swim？〃 Catherine said。 〃I'm glad you swam。
〃We swam quite far；〃 Marita said。 〃And we had a very good lunch。 Did you have a good lunch； Catherine？〃
〃I think so；〃 Catherine said。 〃I don't remember。〃
〃Where were you？〃 Marita asked gently。
〃Saint Raphael；〃 Catherine said。 〃I remember stopping there but I can't remember about lunch。 I never notice when I eat by myself。 But I'm quite sure I did have lunch there。 I know I intended to。〃
〃Was it nice driving bac