piece of rudeness； through my inability to look at things from the
same stand…point as my neighbours； but after a few weeks' stay with
the Nosnibors； I got to understand things better； especially on
having heard all about my host's illness； of which he told me fully
and repeatedly。
It seemed that he had been on the Stock Exchange of the city for
many years and had amassed enormous wealth； without exceeding the
limits of what was generally considered justifiable； or at any
rate； permissible dealing； but at length on several occasions he
had become aware of a desire to make money by fraudulent
representations； and had actually dealt with two or three sums in a
way which had made him rather uncomfortable。 He had unfortunately
made light of it and pooh…poohed the ailment； until circumstances
eventually presented themselves which enabled him to cheat upon a
very considerable scale；he told me what they were； and they were
about as bad as anything could be； but I need not detail them；he
seized the opportunity； and became aware； when it was too late；
that he must be seriously out of order。 He had neglected himself
too long。
He drove home at once； broke the news to his wife and daughters as
gently as he could； and sent off for one of the most celebrated
straighteners of the kingdom to a consultation with the family
practitioner； for the case was plainly serious。 On the arrival of
the straightener he told his story； and expressed his fear that his
morals must be permanently impaired。
The eminent man reassured him with a few cheering words； and then
proceeded to make a more careful diagnosis of the case。 He
inquired concerning Mr。 Nosnibor's parentshad their moral health
been good？ He was answered that there had not been anything
seriously amiss with them； but that his maternal grandfather； whom
he was supposed to resemble somewhat in person； had been a
consummate scoundrel and had ended his days in a hospital；while a
brother of his father's； after having led a most flagitious life
for many years； had been at last cured by a philosopher of a new
school； which as far as I could understand it bore much the same
relation to the old as homoeopathy to allopathy。 The straightener
shook his head at this； and laughingly replied that the cure must
have been due to nature。 After a few more questions he wrote a
prescription and departed。
I saw the prescription。 It ordered a fine to the State of double
the money embezzled； no food but bread and milk for six months； and
a severe flogging once a month for twelve。 I was surprised to see
that no part of the fine was to be paid to the poor woman whose
money had been embezzled； but on inquiry I learned that she would
have been prosecuted in the Misplaced Confidence Court； if she had
not escaped its clutches by dying shortly after she had discovered
her loss。
As for Mr。 Nosnibor； he had received his eleventh flogging on the
day of my arrival。 I saw him later on the same afternoon； and he
was still twinged； but there had been no escape from following out
the straightener's prescription； for the so…called sanitary laws of
Erewhon are very rigorous； and unless the straightener was
satisfied that his orders had been obeyed； the patient would have
been taken to a hospital （as the poor are）； and would have been
much worse off。 Such at least is the law； but it is never
necessary to enforce it。
On a subsequent occasion I was present at an interview between Mr。
Nosnibor and the family straightener； who was considered competent
to watch the completion of the cure。 I was struck with the
delicacy with which he avoided even the remotest semblance of
inquiry after the physical well…being of his patient； though there
was a certain yellowness about my host's eyes which argued a
bilious habit of body。 To have taken notice of this would have
been a gross breach of professional etiquette。 I was told；
however； that a straightener sometimes thinks it right to glance at
the possibility of some slight physical disorder if he finds it
important in order to assist him in his diagnosis； but the answers
which he gets are generally untrue or evasive； and he forms his own
conclusions upon the matter as well as he can。 Sensible men have
been known to say that the straightener should in strict confidence
be told of every physical ailment that is likely to bear upon the
case； but people are naturally shy of doing this； for they do not
like lowering themselves in the opinion of the straightener； and
his ignorance of medical science is supreme。 I heard of one lady；
indeed； who had the hardihood to confess that a furious outbreak of
ill…humour and extravagant fancies for which she was seeking advice
was possibly the result of indisposition。 〃You should resist
that；〃 said the straightener； in a kind； but grave voice； 〃we can
do nothing for the bodies of our patients； such matters are beyond
our province； and I desire that I may hear no further particulars。〃
The lady burst into tears； and promised faithfully that she would
never be unwell again。
But to return to Mr。 Nosnibor。 As the afternoon wore on many
carriages drove up with callers to inquire how he had stood his
flogging。 It had been very severe； but the kind inquiries upon
every side gave him great pleasure； and he assured me that he felt
almost tempted to do wrong again by the solicitude with which his
friends had treated him during his recovery： in this I need hardly
say that he was not serious。
During the remainder of my stay in the country Mr。 Nosnibor was
constantly attentive to his business； and largely increased his
already great possessions； but I never heard a whisper to the
effect of his having been indisposed a second time； or made money
by other than the most strictly honourable means。 I did hear
afterwards in confidence that there had been reason to believe that
his health had been not a little affected by the straightener's
treatment； but his friends did not choose to be over…curious upon
the subject； and on his return to his affairs it was by common
consent passed over as hardly criminal in one who was otherwise so
much afflicted。 For they regard bodily ailments as the more venial
in proportion as they have been produced by causes independent of
the constitution。 Thus if a person ruin his health by excessive
indulgence at the table or by drinking； they count it to be almost
a part of the mental disease which brought it about； and so it goes
for little； but they have no mercy on such illnesses as fevers or
catarrhs or lung diseases； which to us appear to be beyond the
control of the individual。 They are only more lenient towards the
diseases of the youngsuch as measles； which they think to be like
sowing one's wild oatsand look over them as pardonable
indiscretions if they have not been too serious； and if they are
atoned for by complete subsequent recovery。
It is hardly necessary to say that the office of straightener is
one which requires long and special training。 It stands to reason
that he who would cure a moral ailment must be practically
acquainted with it in all its bearings。 The student for the
profession of straightener is required to set apart certain seasons
for the practice of each vice in turn； as a religious duty。 These
seasons are called 〃fasts；〃 and are continued by the student until
he finds that he really can subdue all the more usual vices in his
own person； and hence can advise his patients from the results of
his own experience。
Those who intend to be specialists； rather than general
practitioners； devote themselves more particularly to the branch in
which their practice will mainly lie。 Some students have been
obliged to continue their exercises during their whole lives； and
some devoted men have actually died as martyrs to the drink； or
gluttony； or whatever branch of vice they may have chosen for their
especial study。 The greater number； however； take no harm by the
excursions into the various departments of vice which it is
incumbent upon them to study。
For the Erewhonians hold that unalloyed virtue is not a thing to be
immoderately indulged in。 I was shown more than one case in which
the real or supposed virtues of parents were visited upon the
children to the third and fourth generation。 The straighteners say
that the most that can be truly said for virtue is that there is a
considerable balance in its favour； and that it is on the whole a
good deal better to be on its side than against it； but they urge
that there is much pseudo…virtue going about； which is apt to let
people in very badly before they find it out。 Those men； they say；
are best who are not remarkable either for vice or virtue。 I told
them about Hogarth's idle and industrious apprentices； but they did
not seem to think that the industrious apprentice was a very nice
person。
CHAPTER XI： SOME EREWHONIAN TRIALS
In Erewhon as in other countries there are some courts of justice
that deal with special subjects。 Misfortune generally； as I have
above explained； is considered more or less criminal； but it admits
of classification； and a court is assigned to each of the main
heads under which it can be supposed to fall。 Not very long after
I had reached the capital I strolled into the Personal Bereavement
Court； and was much both interested and pained by listening to the
trial of a man who was accused of having just lost a wife to whom
he had been tenderly attached； and who had left him with three
little children； of whom the eldest was only three years old。
The defence which the prisoner's counsel endeavoured to establish
was； that the prisoner had never really loved his wife； but it
broke down completely； for the public prosecutor called witness
after witness who deposed to the fact that the couple had been
devoted to one another； and the prisoner repeatedly wept as
incidents were put in evidence that reminded him of the irreparable
nature of the loss he had sustained。 The jury returned a verdict
of guilty after very little deliberation； but recommended the
prisoner to mercy on the ground that he had but recently insured
his wife's life for a considerable sum； and might b